Madeleine Begun Kane, Humor Columnist Latest Humor Columns
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Madeleine Begun Kane,
Humor Columnist,

Madeleine Begun Kane

Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of 2008 Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor


  • Kick-Ass Limerick "The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s 'unpresidential' language. ..."

  • Nevada’s Wingnut Angle "Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. ..."

  • Haley’s Barbaric Attitude "Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has been downplaying the Gulf oil spill disaster, talking as if it’s a fictitious crisis created by the media. ..."

  • Kirk’s “Factual” Quirks "It turns out that Mark Kirk’s problems with the truth go well beyond exaggerating his military resume. ..."

  • Hatching Hypocrisy "Okay, so we have two Senatorial candidates who’ve pumped up their military records..."

  • Panning Palin "Is speculation that Sarah Palin’s speaking career’s starting to crash and burn just wishful thinking? ..."

  • Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross "Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has 'embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.' ..."

  • Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon? "In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. ..."

  • Maine Mishigas "Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve? ..."

  • Oily Obstruction "You’d think that, in the wake of the BP Gulf oil disaster, raising oil spill liability limits would be a no-brainer, even for Republicans. ..."

  • Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice "As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law. ..."

  • Leery About Elena "Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. ..."

  • Obama’s What??? "How amusing! We’ve moved from 'Obama’s Katrina' to 'Obama’s Harriet Miers.' ..."

  • John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer? "My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. ..."

  • Republican “Patriots” "It’s amazing how many Republicans are rooting for Obama to fail..."

  • Inflammatory Fleming "It’s bad enough to write an anti-Obama column packed with falsehoods about President Obama’s national security policy. ..."

  • Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
    "Great thanks to a judge I admire:
    Justice Stevens, alas, must retire. ..."

  • Unreal American Stories "I was glad to see that Sarah Palin’s Fox News Special did just so-so in the ratings. ..."

  • Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain "Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly! ..."

  • Senseless About The Census "Attention unhinged wingnuts: Obama’s Census illegally invades your privacy! ..."

  • Liberal Drilling? Chill, Obama, Chill! "Like so many of my fellow progressives, I am dismayed by Obama’s plans to open offshore areas to oil drilling for the first time. ..."

  • Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused "Credit where credit is due: When it comes to self-contradiction, Mitt Romney is both fearless and peerless. ..."

  • Chuck Grassley Upchucks Hypocrisy "Senator Chuck Grassley, one of healthcare reform’s most vocal opponents, has outdone himself. He’s now trying to take credit for portions of the Affordable Health Care For America Act, bragging that he authored the good parts. ..."

  • Republicans: Stuck Between Their Crock And A Hard Place "When it comes to health reform, Republicans are stuck between their crock and a hard place. ..."

  • Political April Fools' Day April Fools' Day is coming up on April 1st, and you'll want to be prepared. After all, you don't want to fall victim to any political practical jokes. My latest limerick should help.

  • Republican Trials (Limerick) "For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious. ..."

  • Addled Threats "Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. ..."

  • “Deem and Pass” Ditty My limerick explains the real reason 'deem and pass' health reform plans were abandoned.

  • Religion Hits Bottoms
    "CDD is an odd Christian fad
    For punishing wives when they’re 'bad.' ..."

  • Et Tu, Dennis? "Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. ..."

  • Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick) "J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. ..."

  • Holier-Than-Thou Wars
    "The GOP’s trying to smack
    The Dems on their ethics. How whack! ..."

  • Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
    "Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
    I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad. ..."

  • Not Going Postal Over Saturday Mail "Are you upset by the cost-savings proposal to cut Saturday mail delivery in 2011? ..."

  • Ode To An Obstructionist "As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office. ..."

  • Subversive Limerick "South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws. ..."

  • Gosh-Darn Pols!
    " California Assembly’s decree:
    The first week of March is “cuss-free.”..."

  • A Limerick For Lamar "As Steve Benen points out, we’ve already tried incrementalism. ..."

  • Frankly My Dear Gaffney, You’re Nuts "Right-wing activist Frank Gaffney is at it again. His latest tin-foil hat paranoia involves the Missile Defense Agency’s website logo ..."

  • Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy "It’s getting hard to keep track of all the Republican 'trash and cash' Recovery Act hypocrisy. ..."

  • Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire "I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this line frequently used by Obama and other pols: 'America can’t afford to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.' ..."

  • Senator Bayh, Buh Bye! "Senator Evan Bayh (Pretend-Dem-Indiana) has announced that he won’t seek reelection this year. ..."

  • Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained "When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:

    Notes on your hand,
    Notes on your hand,
    Lookin’ like a fool
    With your notes on your hand. ..."

  • Ode To Barack Hussein Hoover "Responding to his political crisis, President Obama is doing precisely the wrong thing. ..."

  • Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats "In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies. ..."

  • Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood "There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. ..."

  • Joe “Vote 60? No Mo’ (Limerick) "I’ve been searching for a positive note in the Massachusetts election debacle and its effect on health care reform and Obama’s agenda. ..."

  • Al-Qaeda Talking Points? "Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama? ..."

  • Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11? Giuliani Loses His Mind "It was silly enough when Bush-defender Dana Perino, while appearing on Sean Hannity’s TV show, claimed there were no domestic terror attacks under George W. Bush. ..."

  • Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain’t Kosher "Up until now, I’ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods’ serial philandering. But Brit Hume’s outrageous comments leave me no choice. According to Hume, if Tiger Woods wants forgiveness, he must convert from Buddhism to Christianity. ..."

  • Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack "Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit. ..."

  • Dressing Down The President "Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree. ..."

  • “No-Man” Joe "When it comes to health care reform, Joe Lieberman is acting like a petulant baby: “Wah, wah, wah! Dump the public option, or I filibuster. So there!” ..."

  • Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool "Somebody please explain why the garbage and lies spewed by Richard Cheney are routinely treated like they’re gospel. ..."

  • Testy Republicans "By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative 'purity test,' a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party 'undesirables.' ..."

  • Fraidy-Cat Republicans "According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. ..."

  • Bowing … And Scraping Bottom "Fox News and all the usual wingnut suspects are simply horrified because President Obama, in a show of diplomatic courtesy, bowed to Emperor Akihito of Japan. ..."

  • Stupak Stupidity "The Republican National Committee, the wingnutty Focus on the Family, and both groups’ donors are abortion-loving baby killers. Yes, I was shocked too. But it’s true, if you follow the thought process behind the Stupak Amendment to its logical conclusion. ..."

  • Larry King and Carrie Prejean — Not Headed To The Altar "Note To Beauty Pageant Coaches: Must add storming-off-tv-set etiquette to your coaching regimen...."

  • Stewing Over Stupak "This feminist is furious over the abortion-coverage-banning Stupak Amendment to the House health care reform bill. And no, Stupak isn’t a Hyde Amendment-equivalent. It’s the Hyde Amendment on steroids. ..."

  • Celebrating Sarah "On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century. ..."

  • “Short On Facts” Fox "One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. ..."

  • A Limerick For Traitor Joe "Traitor Joe Lieberman is back to his old tricks, once again trying to undermine Democrats. ..."

  • Bystander President? "Recent comments by Sen. Jay Rockefeller and others indicate that a strong public option could become a reality, if only President Obama stopped being a Bystander President. ..."

  • Ode To Party-First Republicans "Remember when you could tell the difference between right-wing loons and your average Republican politician? ..."

  • Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans "Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. ..."

  • Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak "Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ’splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. ..."

  • Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur "I may be a non-practicing Jew, but I’m deeply offended by Glenn Beck’s attempt to co-opt and politicize Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. ..."

  • Chris Wallace Feels Dissed "Poor Chris Wallace has been whining to Bill O’Reilly about Fox News Sunday not getting an Obama interview. ..."

  • Balking At The Baucus Bill "Wendell Potter, the former health insurance industry executive-turned-whistleblower, presents a scathing analysis of the Max Baucus health reform plan. ..."

  • The Not-So-Frugal Traveler "South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford sure has expensive travel habits for such a 'frugal conservative.' ..."

  • Republicans Bring Classiness To the Classroom "Remember when a presidential speech to school kids was considered positive and uncontroversial? ..."

  • Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg "New Hampshire’s Senator Judd Gregg, a big “majority rules” fan back when Republicans held the majority, has suddenly become a minority rights advocate. ..."

  • Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Texting? "Brace yourself for a large dose of libertarian outrage: Texting while driving may soon be outlawed. ..."

  • Alpha-Political Verse 2009 "From time to time, I write an alphabetical poem summing up a period’s zany and significant political moments. ..."

  • Ode To Ted Kennedy "Aa serious double limerick to commemorate the life and death of the great Senator Ted Kennedy: ..."

  • Ode To The White House Fashion Police "The White House fashion police are at it again: First Lady Michelle Obama was caught wearing shorts on her way to a Grand Canyon vacation! The horror! ..."

  • An Open Limerick To President Obama " Watching Republicans out-maneuver President Obama on “bi-partisan” health care reform has been so painful, I sometimes feel forced to avert my eyes. ..."

  • Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them "Republican hypocrisy is stunning. Almost everyone who’s been throwing around the “death panel” epithet used to have a very different opinion of end-of-life-care planning: ..."

  • Tantrum Politics "Planning to attend a local town hall meeting about health care reform? Hoping to learn something and to express your opinion? Well, be sure to bring a pair of ear plugs. Because the only thing you’re likely to hear is an enraged, screaming mob. ..."

  • Our Liberal Media "Steve Benen points out the contrast between the coverage of two abortion-related polls: ..."

  • Waterloo Lies
    "The GOP’s spreading big lies
    To ensure that our health reform dies ...."

  • Dear Senator Inhofe "Boohoohoo! Poor, innocent Republicans are being hassled by wingnut birthers — loons who would refuse to believe President Obama was born in the U.S., even if they witnessed his Hawaiian birth themselves. ..."

  • Dueling Scandals "Senator John Ensign surely celebrated when Governor Mark Sanford’s soul-mate scandal took Ensign’s sex-capade off Page 1. ...”

  • Translating Sarah "Why does Sarah Palin need to be Alaska’s governor, when she has Facebook? ...”

  • Flailin' Palin "Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving 'dead fish' and a 'lame duck?' ...”

  • Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford "South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford shouldn’t resign because he’s an unfaithful, lying, hypocrite … although he’s all that and more. ...”

  • De-Moralized? "I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake. ...”

  • Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy "All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. ...”

  • Steeley Plan For Health Care "Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond. ...”

  • Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It? "I don’t know what’s weirder — the fact that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s been missing since Thursday, or that his wife doesn’t seem at all worried. ...”

  • Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign! (Limerick)

  • Not So Belle "I tend to avoid embroilment in comment fights. But Sunday was an exception. ...”

  • Hannity Insanity "Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded 'alternate reality' than Fox’s Sean Hannity. ...”

  • Liz Cheney's Song (Song Parody to Maria)
    "Liz Cheney.
    You just can’t avoid Lizzie Cheney.
    The former Veep’s to blame.
    Their surnames are the same, you see. ...”

  • Bankrupt Values "Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about. One of their favorites? The General Motors bankruptcy. ...”

  • Ode To Mark Krikorian "The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. ...”

  • Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks. (Song Parody)
    "Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
    Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks. ...”

  • Ben Nelson, DINO … Or Dinosaur? "If you didn’t know Sen. Ben Nelson’s a Democrat, you’d swear he’s a conservative Republican. And that’s why the fantasy of a Frankenized, filibuster-proof Senate is ludicrous. ...”

  • Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys "The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. ...”

  • Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies "It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee! ...”

  • Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee “I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. ...”

  • The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song (Song Parody to Camptown Races)
    “The CIA did nothing wrong.
    Doo-da, Doo-da.
    Pelosi knew and went along.
    Oh, de doo-da day. ...”

  • My Homage To Feigned Outrage “Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) have been staging yet another temper tantrum. ...”

  • Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions “It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch. ...”

  • The Dreaded E-Word “President Obama recently used the e-word in connection with his yet-to-be-named U.S. Supreme Court nominee, and the Republicans were (or pretended to be) horrified. ...”

  • Which Veep Talks Too Much? “Dick Cheney refuses to crawl back into his undisclosed location … and Democrats rejoice: ...”

  • Two Dicks “Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh have been having quite the love fest lately. Of course, they’ve always been in bed together: ...”

  • Ode To Fresh Faces
    “Republican planning is plain.
    They want to rebrand, they explain. ...”

  • Quaking Over Handshakes “Newsflash via a Republican video ad: Obama is endangering the U.S. by consorting with foreign leaders like Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz. ...”

  • Karl’s Roving Standards (Double Limerick) “Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter: ...”

  • Secession? Did I Say Secession? "For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check. ...”

  • They Only Have Themselves To Blame “On Thursday, Obama sent the filibuster-happy Republicans a message: Their zero-vote obstructionism has consequences. ...”

  • Rudy's Family Values
    “To marry your cousin is fine.
    To pretend not to know it — divine. ...”

  • Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy “My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha: ...”

  • Fox Pundits At Sea “Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong. ...”

  • Dogged Journalism “At long last, we have an answer to these burning questions: What kind of dog will Obama get daughters Malia and Sasha, and when will he get it? ...”

  • Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown “I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. ...”

  • Republican Road To Remedial Math “I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the House Republicans’ number-free budget. And I’m looking forward to the expanded version they’ve promised for next week — the one that won’t have any letters in it either. ...”

  • Ode To AP's Ron Fournier “After President Obama’s outstanding performance during his second primetime press conference, the AP’s Ron Fournier had some column inches to fill. So, what words of wisdom did he share in his 'news analysis'? Obama really 'likes to have [his words] up on the Teleprompter.' ...”

  • Email Swiped From Dick Cheney's In-Box “Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box: ...”

  • Ode To The Laughter-Police “I could have sworn that Obama’s 60 Minutes interview was both serious and informative. But I guess that’s what happens when you watch something yourself, instead of relying on press accounts. ...”

  • Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone “I’d hoped that Maureen Dowd was all done with her Michelle Obama biceps obsession. But apparently not. ...”

  • Fuming About Hume “What delicious irony — Brit Hume bitching about blogger partisanship. ...”

  • Ode To The Easily Offended “President Obama was witty and entertaining on last night’s Leno appearance, and what’s the upshot? He’s forced to apologize for a self-deprecating, throwaway line comparing his bowling performance to the Special Olympics. ...”

  • Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies! “I practiced law for over a dozen years and negotiated lots of contracts. And, unlike the Bush administration, I always kept my poker face. Why? Because if you want the best possible deal, you must make the other party think that he needs you more than you need him. ...”

  • Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus? “The AIG bonus fiasco has been very enlightening. Giving incompetent employees huge bonuses, so they won’t resign? And with taxpayer cash yet? What a concept! ...”

  • Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters! “The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal. ...”

  • Ode To Ari Fleischer “The stream of deceit that came pouring out of Ari Fleischer’s belligerent mouth during his Chris Matthews’ interview must surely have set some sort of record. ...”

  • Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit. “Republicans love to attack Obama’s initiatives by claiming they’re distractions from his “fix the economy” job. Apparently, if the economy continues to tank, it’s because he wasted all that time signing an executive order opening up stem cell research. ...”

  • Steele-Buyers’ Remorse “It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. ...”

  • Ode To GOP Grovelers (Song Parody to the Mickey Mouse Club Song) “Who’s in charge of the GOP? Based on all the groveling and Limbaugh-tuckus-licking, it’s surely the guy with “talent on loan from God” … even though God foreclosed over a decade ago. ...”

  • Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal “I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on. ...”

  • Ode To Roland Burris “The (I hope) soon-to-be-ex-Senator Roland Burris is quite the word weasel, isn’t he? So I thought I’d join the calls for his resignation with my latest limerick: ...”

  • Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long? “I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist. I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days! ...”

  • The Bully Pulpit Isn't Enough, When You're Dealing With Bullies “I never thought Barack Obama’s post-partisan unity shtick would work. So I’m not surprised that no matter how much Obama reaches out to Republicans, they abuse the privilege. ...”

  • Mad Thought “Are Republicans insane? ...”

  • Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!
    “Dear Republicans, stop all your bluster—
    Your obstructionist taunt: 'Filibuster!' ...”

  • D.C. Snow Job “Life in Washington, D.C. must be great! Otherwise, the D.C. Council would surely have better things to do than passing laws that require drivers to remove snow from their cars. ...”

  • Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes “First Tim Geithner, and now Tom Daschle. Anyone else getting tired of rich, powerful people failing to pay taxes, saying “Oops! Sorry! My bad!” and getting away with it? ...”

  • No Quid? No Quo! (Stimulus Bill Limerick)

  • An Alpha-Political Farewell To George Bush & Dick Cheney
    “A is for Jack Abramoff who’s big in pay-to-play.
    B’s for greedy bankers who have fleeced the USA.
    C is for Sen. Craig who isn’t gay, except in bed.
    D is for democracy which Dubya hasn’t spread. ...”

  • Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead! (TARP Limerick)

  • Why Caroline Kennedy? (Legacy Appointment Humor)

  • Who Needs Oversight, When You're Spending Money You Don't Have?
    “I’m never a person to carp,
    But nobody oversees TARP. ...”

  • Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives “Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives. ...”

  • Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing? “Like The New York Times’ Gail Collins and so many others, I think Bush and Cheney need to take early retirement. Otherwise, by the time Obama is president, there won’t be anything left to preside over. ...”

  • What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? “Does anyone else think all this rumor-mongering is a wee bit silly? ...”

  • "Traitor Joe" Wasn't Disloyal Enough? (Haiku)

  • Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Limerick)
    ““Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
    He deserves to be stripped of his chair. ...”

  • Celebratory Limerick
    “Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
    You have done it. You’ve won it. You’re in! ...”

  • An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
    “Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
    But enough! I must know who has won. ...”

  • McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo (Limerick)
    “There’s a ticket that can’t get along
    Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong. ...”

  • Just Call It The McPettiness Express (Limerick)
    “Beware of the wrath of McCain.
    If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane. ...”

  • Does Sarah Palin Even Know What Intellectual Means? "It’s hard to believe, but Sarah Palin told People Magazine that she’s an 'intellectual.' ...”

  • Where’s My Personal Shopper? "After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. ...”

  • Sarah Palin Haiku

  • Is GOP Idiocy Real, Or Is It Memorex? "What on earth is the matter with Republicans like Rep. Michelle Bachmann and Rep. Robin Hayes? Not only do they say insane things, but they deny saying them, as if recording devices had never been invented. ...”

  • Ode To Sarah “Geography-Challenged” Palin (Limerick)
    “Gov. Palin’s geography gap
    Is appalling. Please give her a map. ...”

  • Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain "Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? ...”

  • Ode To David Frum "David Frum, infamous for fathering (or at least taking credit for fathering) the phrase “Axis of Evil,” took on the wrong person last night. I’m referring, of course, to Rachel Maddow. ..."

  • Sarah In Wonderland "A bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power. So is Palin contrite? Hahahahaha! ...”

  • Team Of Liars (Limerick)
    “The McCain/Palin team now is rife
    With liars, including John’s wife. ...”

  • McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act "It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily. ...”

  • Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
    “Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
    (Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.) ...”

  • Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test (Limerick)

  • Finally, A McCain Statement I Can Agree With "At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark. ..."

  • A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin? "According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault. ..."

  • Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah "How many 'everyday, working-class Americans' do you know who own 'a single-engine plane, two boats, two personal watercraft and a half-million-dollar, custom-built home on a lake…'”?

  • An Ode To Crybaby Republicans "Even The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page thinks Republicans are crybabies about the bailout bill. ...”

  • Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? "The guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes, is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate. ...”

  • Ode To Corporate Vultures (Haiku)

  • McCain's Memory Purge (Limerick)

  • Palin Panic (Limerick)

  • Sarah Palin's Barracuda Blog "Great news! I managed to sneak a peek at Sarah Palin’s Barracuda Blog. ..."

  • Dear John McCain: Thank you, thank you, thank you! "Why am I, a liberal feminist, thanking you with such enthusiasm? Because by naming Sarah Palin to be your running mate, you’ve turned my life around. ..."

  • Bailin' On Palin? "How nice that John McCain is finally getting around to vetting his temper-tantrum-inspired, Lieberman/Ridge-rebound Veep pick. ..."

  • Sarah Who??? "Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake. ..."

  • Kristol-izing Feminism "So Bill Kristol’s a feminist. Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep. ..."

  • McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns (Limerick)
    "McCain is confused. Stop the presses!
    And if stumped by a query, he guesses. ..."

  • Some Friendly Advice For Obama "The longer this presidential campaign goes on, the more worried I become. ..."

  • McCain's Bellicose Tune (Song Parody -- Sing to I’m Popeye The Sailor Man)
    "I’m tougher than nails, I am.
    I stand up for Uncle Sam.
    The other guy’s weak,
    While I’m still at my peak,
    Cuz I’m tougher than nails, I am! ..."

  • My "Dear John" Edwards Letter (Limerick)
    "Dear John, to your run I said, "Yay!"
    And I thought you’d go far, come what may. ..."

  • Media Sheep
    "McCain’s a straight talker.
    Ignore all his lying.
    Obama is pompous.
    He’s humble? Not buying!
    That’s the agreed-upon narrative. See? ..."

  • A Humorist’s Lament "By now, everyone’s surely seen Barry Blitt’s New Yorker cover, depicting Barack Obama as a flag-burning, bin Laden-loving, fist-bumping Muslim. Intended to satirize “The Politics of Fear,” the image is being widely criticized as reinforcing the very stereotypes it seeks to mock. ..."

  • Wham! Bam! No Thank You, Phil Gramm!
    "We’re 'a nation of whiners,' says Gramm.
    Our economy’s not in a jam. ..."

  • Dear Obama
    "Dear Obama, your flight to the right
    Is making me feel quite uptight. ..."

  • Some Friendly Advice For McCain’s Veep Vetting Team
    "McCain doesn’t use a PC
    Or a Mac, so he needs a VP ..."

  • So, Is This Ageist Too?
    "Wah, wah, wah! Don’t critique John McCain.
    If you do so you’re ageist — Insane! ..."

  • Is Olbermann Turning Into O’Reilly?
    "In the past I cheered Olbermann’s rants—
    Loved his anti-war, anti-Bush stance. ..."

  • George Who??? "After losing three back-to-back Congressional races in solid Republican districts, the GOP has a spanking new game plan. ..."

  • Dear Supreme Sacrificer
    "So you gave up your golf — I don’t care.
    It is hardly the cure for despair. ..."

  • Ode To Pious John McCain "The Philly Inq’s Dick Polman really nails it in his must-read post about John McCain’s 'artful dance with North Carolina Republican leaders, who have fashioned a low-road, anti-Obama advertisement that is slated to air on statewide TV next Monday.' ...”

  • McCain's New Campaign Slogan "John McCain has been having a tough time raising campaign money lately. So I thought I’d help out with a McCain campaign slogan haiku — gratis. ..."

  • Biased Journalists And Bloggers, Heal Thyselves! "Hey, cable honchos. Before lambasting Hillary for “failing to fact check,” you might consider dabbling in some fact checking yourselves. ..."

  • My John "My Friends" McCain Theory

  • Ode To Randi “Queen of Obscene” Rhodes

  • Ode To John “Maverick” McCain
    "A law breaker — that’s John McCain,
    Treating FEC regs with disdain. ..."

  • Presidential Election Blues

  • Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain

  • Ode To Eliot Spitzer
    "Though Spitzer has said he abhors
    Prostitution, he paid to use whores. ..."

  • Election '08 Haiku

  • Dear Ralph: Go Away! "I used to think Ralph Nader keeps running for president because he’s an egomaniac and a blowhard. But I’m starting to suspect that he suffers from Dubya-disease — he needs to feel relevant. ..."

  • Hey Pundits, Stifle Yourselves! "I can’t decide what’s more annoying — when pundits are wrong, or when they insist on finding meaning in the meaningless, deep significance in utter nonsense. ..."

  • Dear Editor: Enough With The Polls, Already! (Limerick)
    "My int’rest in polling is waning:
    Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s gaining. ..."

  • Ode To John "You Little Jerk" McCain (Limerick)
    "Among John McCain’s irksome quirks
    Is his habit of calling guys jerks ..."

  • Is Black The New Teflon? "The impression I’ve been getting lately is that every barb and criticism aimed at Obama is almost bound to be characterized as racist by Obama surrogates. ..."

  • I Won't Graciously Submit To Mike Huckabee "How lovely! In addition to Huckabee’s other “charming” attributes, he’s a “wives should graciously submit to their husbands” aficionado. ..."

  • Political Laughs (I attempt to write some political jokes.)

  • Weathering Bush (Haiku)

  • My Family Needs Me (Limerick and Video -- Read It or Watch It) "I’m always amused when politicians and other public figures get into legal hot water and develop a sudden urge to spend more time with their family. ..."

  • Hillary Clinton Joke (Video) "I’ve been playing around with creating short video clips and I’ve finally succeeded. So if you’d like to see me tell a joke I wrote about Hillary Clinton and the issue of drivers licenses for illegal aliens, here it is. ..."

  • Why Are These Journalists Smiling? (Limerick) "I’ve noticed that many reporters and talking heads are almost giddy over Hillary Clinton’s recent stumbles and the rumored return of Barack Obama’s mojo. ..."

  • First Pakistan And Then... (Haiku) "While Bush and Cheney are busily threatening World War 3 over of Iran’s potential future nuclear threat, ..."

  • Ode To Our Petulant Prez (Limerick) "George Bush has been sounding extra whiney lately. The poor guy! Those abusive Dems have been torturing him, giving him a mere 98% of what he asks for. ..."

  • Heckofajob, Karen! (Haiku) "So Karen Hughes has resigned from her job to 'promote America’s values ...'"

  • The Poetry Of Rudy Giuliani "Did you know that Rudy Giuliani is a poet? Me neither. So I was really surprised to unearth the poetry of Rudy Giuliani. Here are six poems I found in the Rudy Reader: ..."

  • Message To Obama: Hammer! Don't Stammer! (Haiku) "This is starting to get silly. It seems like every other day, Barack Obama promises to bolster his lagging poll numbers by changing his campaign style and getting tough on Hillary Clinton. ..."

  • Pondering Condi "Condi Rice’s testimony this past week, in which she belligerently defended the State Department’s work in Iraq, was her first appearance before a Democratically-controlled House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. True to form, she blamed everything but the Bush’s many administration failures for the problems in Iraq: ..."

  • Pondering Rudy "I live in New York City, so I’m pretty familiar with the pros and cons of Rudy Giuliani. And yes, there are pros. What pros? Well, Rudy does love opera. ..."

  • Shorter Michael Mukasey "Here’s how I’d sum up Attorney General nominee Mike Mukasey’s Senate Judiciary Committee testimony..."

  • SCHIP Haiku "At long last, the real reason George W. Bush vetoed SCHIP..."

  • Ode To Ann (ti-Semite Coulter)

  • The GOP's Evolving Policy On Lawyers

  • Is Rove's Loyalty Roving? "How amusing! Karl Rove wants to be remembered for something more than just being the “Brain” of the worst President in U.S. history..."

  • Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness

  • Democrats Keep Making Elephants Of Themselves

  • Rudy Giuliani: Bald Ego

  • Curb Your Age Of Turbulence Enthusiasm "Poor little innocent Alan Greenspan is shocked, SHOCKED, I TELL YOU, by the Bush administration’s budget deficits and loss of fiscal discipline. ..."

  • Petraeus and Crocker Face Hume Humiliation "I had to laugh when I heard about Brit Hume’s exclusive Fox interview with General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker “about the state of the Iraq war and their testimony to Congress.” What’s the matter — wasn’t Hannity available? ..."

  • Bush Gaffes Used To Make Me Laugh "These days I find Bush gaffes more sad than amusing. But I couldn’t resist this great headline: Bush backs ‘Austrian troops’ at ‘OPEC’. ..."

  • Mustachioed Men -- Downtrodden Minority? "Is the American Mustache Institute (AMI) for real? When I first read about it, I figured it must surely be fictitious. Either that … or John Bolton’s new employer. ..."

  • A Trio Of Limericks For Idaho Senator Larry Craig "I just couldn’t resist writing some limericks about the hypocritical, gay-bashing Senator Larry Craig: ..."

  • Dirty White House Complains About Gonzales "Mud" "Poor Alberto Gonzales! During those countless (and fruitless) Congressional hearings, Gonzales had but one job — protect George Bush. And so he lied, obfuscated, feigned amnesia, and did everything he could to muddy the truth. ..."

  • Why I No Longer Get Excited When Bush Cronies Quit "Can we ever get rid of Bush’s spinmeister cronies? Apparently not. Sure, they eventually quit. But they stubbornly refuse to stay quit. ..."

  • Vladimir Putin -- Gym Rat? "Have you seen this photo of Russian President Vladimir Putin? Boy, that Pootie-Poot is majorly buff! ..."

  • Yet Another Snow Job? "I wasn’t surprised to hear that Tony Snow plans to leave his Bush spokesperson gig when his “money runs out,” and possibly as early as September. ..."

  • Why Is General Petraeus Letting The White House Write His Iraq Progress Report? (Poll) "Do you think the long-awaited General David H. Petraeus’s Iraq surge report will “see” as much “tangible progress” as Petraeus claimed to see in the election-influencing op ed he wrote for the Washington Post back on September 26, 2004? ..."

  • Poll: What's The Real Reason Karl Rove Resigned?

  • Bush's Private Podium -- The Real Dope (Haiku) "According to Americablog, CNN’s Ed Henry has reported that Bush now has a spanking new (and personal) press briefing room podium. ..."

  • Bush Growls; Dems Kowtow on Eavesdropping (Limerick & Poll) "I finally dare to fantasize that the Democrats may have gotten their act together, and they pull a cowardly stunt like this. ..."

  • Every Bushie’s Testimony Summed Up In A Single Limerick (Limerick)
    "Don’t recall, don’t remember, can’t say
    What I did or I said on that day. ..."

  • George W. Bush Impeachment Poll

  • The Filibuster (Full-a-Bluster) Song (Song Parody -- Sing to Alouette)
    Ban the filibuster!”
    Ancient bluster
    from the GOP. ..."

  • Probing Question (Haiku)

  • Message: I Share … Your Goals. (Bush to the Revolting Republicans) "Dan Froomkin isn’t surprised that “confronted with a tide of anti-war sentiment and a growing number of defecting Republican lawmakers, the White House is changing not its policy on Iraq, but its message. ...”

  • GOP Piety Song Parody (Sing to Billy Joel’s Honesty)
    “Piety is such a misused word.
    GOPers preach on cue.
    Piety — their fakery’s absurd.
    See through them and turn red to blue. ..."

  • Lawless President Pays Off Law-Breaker Libby

  • The GOP’s In For A Rudy Awakening "As a long-time New York City resident, I’m amused by Rudy Giuliani’s candidacy. ..."

  • Suffering From Bloomberg-Envy … Or Just an Idiotic Egomaniac? "Oh, lovely! Ralph Nader is threatening to run for President again: ..."

  • Dick "Constitution Killer" Cheney Strikes Again "I wonder if President Bush was as surprised as the rest of us at learning that his VEEP isn’t part of the Executive Branch. ..."

  • Bush Stems Progress (Haiku)

  • Bush's Language Police Foiled by Bush/Cheney Expletives "Remember the time Dick Cheney told to Senator Leahy what he could do to himself on the Senate floor? ..."

  • Bloody Hell, It'll Be Bloody "That great seer, soothsayer, and visionary George Bush predicted Thursday that August may be a bloody month in Iraq: ..."

  • If This Is True, My Head May Explode (Limerick)
    “The Dems disappoint once again,
    Caving in to Dub’s warmong’ring yen. ..."

  • He's Staying! So, There! "No, I’m not talking about Alberto Gonzales, although Gonzo seems to be staying too – so far, at least. I’m referring to yet another Bush administration miscreant: ..."

  • Bush Speaks Loudly And Carries A Small Stick "What important business did President Bush conduct this weekend? He waved a small stick – a conductor’s baton — while pretending to conduct a symphony orchestra. ..."

  • Ode To The Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven "Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered George Bush about Iraq and had the 'most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.' ..."

  • The Commander Guy Uncensored "George Dubya, our swaggering action-figure president, has dubbed himself 'The Commander Guy.' Okay, that’s absurd enough. But here’s the part you may have missed: ..."

  • Bush's Iraq Strategy: Here ... Catch "President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill. Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. ..."

  • Serenade For The First Sufferers (Song Parody) "I’m betting that Laura Bush can finally say goodbye to her relatively high approval numbers. Why? Because on this morning’s Today Show, Laura said something to Anne Curry that’s way beyond obnoxious. ..."

  • Merchants Of Hype "On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. ..."

  • Truth On The Lam "Rachel Maddow has an update on Orrin Hatch’s smear campaign against Carol Lam, the U.S. Attorney for San Diego who was recently fired by the Justice Department. ..."

  • Dems Pull Bush's Chain (Limerick)
    "The Congressional Dems reached a deal.
    No, it isn’t ideal, yet I feel ..."

  • Gonzo, Begone ... And Take Your Pal Bush With You! (Limerick)
    "It appears that the Bushies conspired
    To ensure that some lawyers were fired ..."

  • Running From Mistakes (Limerick)
    "It’s essential to learn from mistakes
    And to not place the blame on bad breaks. ..."

  • How About Campaigning For Shorter Campaigns?
    "Campaigns seem to lengthen each year;
    When elections are held, how I fear ..."

  • Purges and Surges, Twin Scourges, Oh My!
    "Dub’s prosecutorial purges
    And unauthorized, bellicose surges ..."

  • What George Bush Might Say, If He Spoke English
    "You’re cowards! You’re traitors! J’accuse!
    You in Congress, I’ll surge if I choose. ..."

  • Why I Don't Hate My Hate Mail
    "There are folks quite averse to my verse.
    In their emails, perverse, how they curse! ..."

  • Why I Won’t Use What’s-Her-Name’s Name Anymore "Here’s a good story about the hate-filled, bigoted venom directed at John Edwards, which was recently spewed by a person whose name I will no longer mention, because it only encourages her. ..."

  • Why Does George Bush Hate Our Troops?
    "Where’s the medical aid for our troops?
    When they’re injured, they’re treated like dupes. ..."

  • A Waxman Haiku Is Overdue

  • Happy Presidents' Day?
    "It’s Presidents’ Day, but I’m glum,
    Cause our President’s worse than a bum. ..."

  • I Guess They Miss The “Good Old Days” "This weekend’s Senate session reminds me of the fuss Republicans made when Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi imposed a substantially longer work week on Congress. Some even argued that the imposition of a 5-day work week proved that Democrats are anti-family. ..."

  • Why I’m Qualified To Be Dick Cheney’s Top Aide "I take a strange solace in Libby’s “awful memory” defense. Why? This limerick should explain it: ..."

  • To Be Honest...
    "“In all candor” prepares me for lies
    When it’s said by political guys. ..."

  • Blogroll Scrooges Must Be Punished "Some major bloggers (most prominently Atrios/Eschaton and Kos) have recently instituted a blogroll purge, eliminating, for the most part, all but the usual suspects. And to add insult to injury, they referred to it in Orwellian fashion as 'Blogroll Amnesty Day.' ..."

  • Ode To Little John Warner "You just have to love it: Senator John Warner helped kill the debate on Bush’s surge, voting to block a vote on his own Warner-Levin Iraq War Resolution: ..."

  • Ode To The Great Molly Ivins "Alas, the magnificent Molly Ivins has died. To call her a great wit and outstanding journalist would be an understatement. She has always been an inspiration to me and to every other liberal I know who tries to write political satire. ..."

  • Mess? What Mess?
    "From Dub’s State of the Union address,
    Who would guess that our nation’s a mess? ..."

  • Read His Lips: Tax The Middle Class
    "George Bush has at last found a tax
    That he’s fond of and backs to the max: ..."

  • Jenna Bush, Author? "In a move sure to aggravate unagented (and poorly agented) authors, Jenna Bush has scored a high-powered literary agent — Robert Barnett. ..."

  • Bellicose Bush "I’ve finally figured out George Dubya’s philosophy: If you can’t solve a problem, make it bigger: ..."

  • Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
    "It is time for another Bush speech,
    Which leaves honor and facts in the breach. ..."

  • Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview "Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it: ..."

  • Bush On The Couch; Dub On The Divan "Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview. ..."

  • Leave No Campaign Plans Behind … in a Hotel Room
    "Rudy claims that he has expertise
    In security matters. Oh, please! ..."

  • Ode To A Former Canadian Ice Shelf

  • Shopping For A New President Would Be Nice "President Bush had some words of wisdom for us at Wednesday’s press conference: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.” ..."

  • "A Way Forward?" To Where, Exactly?

  • Ode To Diminished Expectations
    " Unanimous yeses for Gates,
    Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes. ..."

  • Ode To Dennis "Muslim Menace" Prager
    "I’m enraged at host Prager. Yes, Dennis.
    To the truth he is rather a menace, ..."

  • Ode To Prosperity
    "The affluent prosper quite well,
    As their savings continue to swell. ..."

  • Uncivil Drivel
    "The pundits incessantly muse,
    'Is it civil or not?' I’m confused, ..."

  • Our Banished VEEP (Limerick)
    "He’ll be banished from office, VEEP Dick;
    Not his job, but his real estate pick. ..."

  • Limerick For Bush's Brain
    " The man who’s called George Bush’s Brain
    Has been weakened. Yes, that much is plain...."

  • Hack This Limerick (E-Voting Verse)
    "A ballot should faithfully note,
    Each candidate getting a vote. ..."

  • Post-Election Haiku Trio (Fox News, Trent Lott, Joe Lieberman)

  • Haiku For A Former "Genius" I was amused to read that, in the wake of last week’s Republican debacle, Karl Rove remains 'steadfast' ..."

  • Mad Kane Gets Greedy
    "I am blissful, contented, and happy.
    The election results weren’t crappy. ..."

  • A Convenient Noose "As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!” I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, ..."

  • Bush and Cheney's Blunderland (Song Parody -- Sing To Winter Wonderland)
    "Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
    No debate. Stop your braying.
    'Fantastic' at war!
    Bush Rummy adores.
    Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland. ..."

  • Thoughts Of Elections Past "A pair of poems today — more serious than usual – inspired by the latest attempt to swift-boat John Kerry. ..."

  • Ode To Lynne Cheney
    "The author of Sisters, named Lynne,
    Thinks her party at all costs must win. ..."

  • Nixing The Chicks (Haiku)

  • Rush Limbaugh Verse
    " Limbaugh maligned Michael Fox,
    Who is ill and admired and rocks. ..."

  • Leave No Bewildered Bush Behind (Haiku) "Dear Dub: You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help: ..."

  • He Misled Song Parody (Sing To Mr. Ed)
    "Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
    And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
    He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead. ..."

  • Chatty Jack "Jack Abramoff has been so helpful to the FBI’s widening corruption investigation, that they’ve given him his own desk. I never thought I’d say this, but keep up the great work, Jack! ..."

  • Bush Stays His Lying Course "Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty. But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. ..."

  • Dear Peggy "It’s always embarrassing for me to admit this, but Peggy Noonan and I went to the same high school – Massapequa High School on Long Island, New York. ..."

  • GOP Terror Ad Haiku

  • Trade Deficit, Budget Deficit, Truth Deficit

  • The Buck Stops ... On Clinton?

  • Ode To The Garish Katherine Harris
    "The gal who stole Bush his “election,”
    Now is spurned like a lethal infection. ..."

  • No Penance For Dennis?
    "Hastert is blaming his staff,
    But those in the know have to laugh. ..."

  • Nuclear Test? Testy Prez
    "A part of the “axis of evil,”
    North Korea has caused some upheaval. ..."

  • Ode To Keith Olbermann

  • Dirty Denny
    "There once was a House Speaker Denny,
    With character not worth a penny. ..."

  • Fordham Axed, Scapegoated To The Max
    "Congressman Reynolds’ charade
    Is dumping Kirk Fordham, his aide. ..."

  • Hastert Haiku

  • NIE Lies

  • Bob Woodward, Born Again Journalist
    "State of Denial’s
    Bob Woodward’s new book.
    At long last he’s onto
    Those devious crooks..."

  • Muted Media Blues
    "Civil war rages.
    Generals speak out.
    The press must be in cages:
    There’s a coverage drought..."

  • Ode To GOP Hypocrisy
    "When accusations first arose
    V. Foley in the House.
    The GOP top leadership
    Was quiet as a mouse..."

  • Foley's Folly
    "There once was a Congressman Foley,
    Who acted all pious and holy..."

  • Torture Bill Haiku

  • Bush's Burst Bubble
    "Our housing bubble’s fin’lly burst,
    Our pockets picked by George The Worst..."

  • Devilish Haiku

  • Blog Relocation Limerick
    "Coding by hand is quite hard.
    It takes time from my being a bard..."

  • Ode To Bush Loyalists
    "George Dub’s defenders shock me still,
    Especially those up on the Hill..."

  • Bush Clouds Issue With "Clarity"

  • Bully Bush Political Haiku about GOP and Bush propaganda and bully pulpit abuse.

  • Ode to Ann Althouse
    "Some bloggers are easily shocked
    When gal lefties don't look like they're jocks..."

  • Ode To ABC Political Haiku about ABC's 9-11 movie.

  • The Rumsfeld Trap Two news haiku inspired by our charming "leaders."

  • Amazing Disgrace (To be sung to the tune of Amazing Grace)
    "Our Bill of Rights, how sweet the sound.
    It's kept our people free.
    Alas, we're lost, cause Dub's unbound.
    He flouts it joyfully. ..."

  • The Ballad Of Joementum Joe Lieberman (To be sung to the tune of Danny Boy)
    "Joementum Joe, you've long outstayed your welcome.
    You've let us down, it's time to pay the price.
    You've been disloyal to voters and your party.
    You're way too close to Rummy, Bush, and Rice..."

  • Hey Condi, When They Asked You To Be A Hands-On Secretary of State, This Isn't What They Meant
    "You'd think that with all the disasters overtaking the world, Condi Rice would be far too busy to play Brahms or Shostakovich at a piano recital..."

  • No Liebe For Lieberman
    "Joe Lieberman thinks he's entitled
    To votes and devotion unbridled..."

  • Ode To The Groper
    "When diplomacy's needed, Bush gropes.
    With his veto, he murders our hopes..."

  • Coulter Heist
    "For Ann, facts are pests that intrude,
    And we've learned she's a plagiarist too..."

  • Bush Isn't God. Who Knew?
    "The Supremes slapped George Dubya quite hard,
    Saying George, you ain't Czar, King, or God..."

  • (Peter) King-Sized Menace
    "Peter King and his ilk defy reason
    When they call the Times guilty of treason..."

  • Swift Intrusions
    "From the Times we know Bush likes to sift
    Through our bank records managed by SWIFT..."

  • Dub's Shriveling ... Coalition
    "George Dubya's Iraq coalition
    Is suff'ring from major attrition. ..."

  • Arlen, The Intellectual?
    "Reid ain't a deep thinker, says Specter,
    The GOP's brain wave detector..."

  • Arlen Specter Limericks & Humor

  • Ann's Master Plan
    "A right-wingnut woman named Ann
    Had a book tour publicity plan..."

  • Specious Specter
    "There once was a Senator Specter,
    Who was briefly a Cheney defector..."

  • Mad Kane Reads The AP, So You Don't Have To

  • Jeb For Prez?
    "George Dubya wants Jebby to win
    The White House, Dub says with a grin..."

  • Ann Coulter Humor & Satire

  • Frist And Hastert Rediscover The Constitution "Frist and Hastert don't care if the Bush administration invades the privacy of ordinary citizens. Nor do they seem bothered by the Executive branch's brazen power grab, evidenced by Bush's "de facto veto" signing statements, Congressional oversight avoidance, and sundry law breaking. But just let the Justice Department mess with one of their own..."

  • Ode To Kenny Boy (To be sung to the tune of "Danny Boy")
    "Oh Kenny Boy, the jails, the jails are calling,
    From state to state, and through the world so wide.
    The money's gone, and all the chips are falling,
    'Tis you, 'tis you must go and you must hide..."

  • Tabloid Times "It's only May 2006, and the New York Times is already doing trashy, tabloid-style coverage of the Clintons. What's the matter, New York Times? You didn't have a juicy Iran-war-inducing story to plant on your cover page? ..."

  • Ode To Rep. Jefferson
    "Rep. Jefferson seems to have stashed
    90 grand in his freezer - cold cash..."

  • Sleeper VEEP
    "There once was a GOP VEEP
    Who in meetings fell soundly asleep..."

  • Big Boys Cry Uncle When Wrong
    "If someone used "gay" to mean coward,
    Aravosis would rightfully glower..."

  • Net Neutrality Ad Madness
    "I've no problem with blogs hosting ads.
    But some of those ads make me sad..."

  • We Have Bush's Number ... and He Has Ours
    "Most telcos caved in to requests
    From the Feds that fail privacy tests..."

  • Tax Cut Haiku

  • Probable Cause To Spike Mike's Nomination

  • Ode To The Signing Statement and Other Limericks
    "Dub's never once vetoed a bill,
    Though he's threatened to, sounding quite shrill..."

  • Fishing For Accomplishments

  • The White House Shakeup Song (Sing to Good King Wenceslas)
    "Bolten's cleaning house they claim.
    He needs staffers brainy.
    Upward polls are Bolten's aim.
    Why not start with Cheney? ..."

  • Only Lefties Are Crude. Who Knew?
    "Henninger waxes loquacious,
    Claiming blogs are unduly salacious..."

  • Dubya Ain't Known For Decorum
    "Dubya ain't known for decorum.
    He'll embarrass at most any forum..."

  • Scotty & Andy & Josh, Oh, My!
    "Bush once had a press guy named Scott,
    Who always looked sweaty and hot..."

  • Ode To The Decider-In-Chief
    "The Decider-In-Chief's an angry man,
    Lambasting folks who Rumsfeld pan..."

  • A Pair Of Limericks For A Six-Pack Of Generals
    "Some Gen'rals are filling our ears,
    With Rummy critiques and Bronx cheers..."

  • Nuclear Limericks
    "When I heard that George Dubya had plans,
    To attack and launch nukes at Iran..."

  • Scalia's Stability Revisited
    "When questioned about his refusal
    To agree to a Dick case recusal..."

  • Ode to the Leaker-In-Chief
    "The latest revelation
    In the Scooter Libby case,
    Is that when it comes to leaking,
    Georgie Dub is quite the ace..."

  • Tom DeLay Haiku

  • Tom DeLay Duo of Limericks
    "Tom's speech was jam-packed with some gems.
    His withdrawal he blamed on the Dems..."

  • Mugged By Dub's Drug Program -- Limerick
    "Dub's drug program's chock full of bugs.
    It's a gift to insurance co thugs..."

  • Immigration Blather
    "The move to alter immigration laws
    For many's an excuse to jaw..."

  • Saturday Silliness
    "Liberal bloggers are socialist tools..."

  • Ode To Scalia -- Limerick
    "Scalia's caught acting obscene,
    In a church yet, how shockingly mean..."

  • The Rich And Unethical Harris - Limerick
    "The rich and unethical Harris
    For her record should feel quite embarrassed..."

  • The Donation That Keeps On Giving
    "Storm fund donors often earmark cash for food and meals..."

  • Russ Feingold Verse
    "The praiseworthy Senator Russ
    Has created a rather big fuss..."

  • Bye-Bye Balls - Dubai Port Deal Limerick
    "There once was a fellow named Frist,
    Who quite loudly the seaport sale dissed..."

  • Only Bush Can Protect Us Some Say
    "Only Bush can protect us some say,
    Though George Dubya deceives us each day..."

  • It's Surely Snowing In Hell - Dubai Port Deal Verse
    "I never thought I'd see the day
    That I'd agree with Tom DeLay..."

  • Faking Contrition - Song Parody (Sing to "Waltzing Matilda")
    "Faking contrition.
    Faking contrition.
    Cheney feels bad that he shot his good friend.
    If you don't buy his story, you're a lib'ral Democrat.
    Leave him alone. This harassment must end..."

  • A State-Run Firm Based In Dubai - Limerick
    "A state-run firm based in Dubai,
    Is well known for its terrorist tie..."

  • Don't Hunt With Dick Cheney Song Parody (Sing to "On Top Of Old Smokey")
    "Don't hunt with Dick Cheney.
    You might end up dead.
    He'll aim for your torso,
    Or even your head..."

  • Cheney Misfires -- Big Time! & Other Political Verse
    "A fellow named Whittington, Harry,
    In the future will likely be wary..."

  • Arlen & Alberto
    "Why was Arlen Specter loath
    To make Gonzales take the oath?..."

  • Ode To Press Hypocrisy & Other Oprah Winfrey / James Frey Verse
    "The pundits are outraged
    At Frey's memoir lies. ..."

  • Personal Poems For Some Sam Alito Filibuster Holdouts - Senators Byrd, Landrieu, Akaka, and Nelson
    "Sen. Byrd you're at times quite inspired,
    Speaking words that I've often admired.
    Now it's time to help muster..."

  • If Not Now, Then When? -- Sam Alito In Verse -- Five Alito Related poems
    "Will Senate Dems preserve our rights
    And filibuster Sam?
    How 'bout it Dems? Let's see you fight
    And prove you give a damn..."

  • A Bush Pioneer Who's Named Jack -- Limerick
    "A Bush pioneer who's named Jack
    Raised for Dubya a huge money stack..."

  • Say Goodbye To Tom DeLay -- Song Parody (Sing to "Yesterday")
    "Tom DeLay,
    He's got troubles. They won't go away.
    Jack's pled guilty and he'll have his say.
    So say goodbye to Tom DeLay..."

  • George Bush Says His Spying Is Cool -- Limerick
    "George Bush says his spying is cool,
    And he broke not a law, nor a rule..."

  • Did The White House On Christiane Spy? -- Limerick
    "Did the White House on Christiane spy?
    And on Rubin, a Kerry team guy?..."

  • Auld Lang Impeachment -- Song Parody (Sing to "Auld Lang Syne")
    "Bush/Cheney's wrongs won't be forgot.
    Each one we'll keep in mind.
    These evil men must be locked up
    For all their many crimes.
    They spied on U.S. citizens.
    They lied us into war..."

  • Consultation Dubya Style -- Limerick
    "When George Dubya extended that invite
    To Clintonites Perry and Albright..."

  • Preacher Pat -- Limerick
    "Preacher Pat once again made me groan,
    When he spoke of the ailing Sharon..."

  • Bill O'Reilly's Faux War On Christmas Song Parody (Sing to "Get Me To The Church On Time")
    "Bill says we're waging war on Christmas,
    Spouting another Fox News lie.
    Bill's rarely proper.
    Loves telling whoppers.
    Ain't nothing that his fans won't buy..."

  • A Congressman Known As Rep. Randy -- 2 Rep. Randy Cunningham Limericks
    "A Congressman known as Rep. Randy
    Found that yacht living's fun and quite dandy..."

  • Ode To Bob Woodward
    "Bob Woodward had an ax to grind
    When Plamegate he critiqued.
    We've finally learned that Woodward
    Was the first to get that leak.
    He failed to tell his audience..."

  • Yet Another Ode To Ann Coulter
    "Ann Coulter lacks powers of reason,
    Claiming Murtha-type Dems commit treason..."

  • An Unscrupulous Fellow Named Jack
    "An unscrupulous fellow named Jack
    Has deep ties with Republican hacks..."

  • A Rep From Ohio Named Jean -- Limerick
    "A Rep from Ohio named Jean
    Called John Murtha a coward. How mean! ..."

  • Pat Robertson Does Dover -- Limerick
    "The Dover folks showed their defiance,
    When they nixed ID preaching with science..."

  • Yet Another White House Leak: Harriet Miers Ethics Class Humor
    "Dear Staffers To the Smartest Man in the Whole World:
    As you've probably heard, we've had a teensy glitch in the classified document leaks department: A certain fellow, who shall remain nameless, has been naughty lately, and the press is all over us..."

  • Some Say That Reid's Act Was A Stunt -- Limerick
    "Some say that Reid's act was a stunt,
    Just a rude and unfair Frist affront..."

  • 4 Sam Alito Limericks
    "There once was a judge named Alito,
    Who's often called Judge Sam Scalito.
    He's fond of state powers.
    At labor he glowers..."

  • Fitzmas Madness (Poem about pre-Plamegate indictment anxiety)
    "I keep scanning the Net
    For some news from Pat Fitz.
    If he don't indict soon,
    I may go on the fritz..."

  • The Judy Miller Quartet (of Limericks) (Four limericks about Judy Miller, The New York Times and the Plamegate investigation)
    "Ms. Miller has written her tale,
    And as tales go, it's rather a whale.
    Her memory's convenient,
    On Libby she's lenient..."

  • Harriet's Song: Bush Is The Sunshine Of Her Life (Sing to "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life")
    "You are the best Prez in the land.
    That’s why I always shall be loyal.
    You are the smartest living man.
    I just can't wait to join the Court..."

  • Mired In Harriet Miers -- A Limerick & 2 Poems
    "Bush named the unqualified Miers
    To the Court when O'Connor retires.
    Her only credential..."

  • The Blunt Punt Limerick
    "They Thomas DeLay did indict,
    And that filled me with joy and delight.
    They've replaced him with Blunt..."

  • It's Another Bush Crisis
    "It's another Bush crisis,
    And day after day,
    Dub's stooges are spinning,
    While Bush says, "let's pray..."

  • Tom DeLay Indictment Haiku

  • Why Bother?
    "Judge John Roberts' confirmation
    Is a certainty, it's true.
    We're powerless to stop it..."

  • Rebuilder-in-Chief
    "George Bush said he'll Gulf Coast rebuild
    In a speech that was platitude filled.
    And he'll do it with cash..."

  • John Roberts & Supreme Court Humor I've put all of my humor related to Judge John Roberts, the U.S. Supreme Court, and court nominee filibusters in one place.

  • Two John Roberts Limericks
    "Though Judge Roberts is getting a hearing,
    To measure his outlook and bearing,
    He's determined to hide..."

  • Bloggers Speak, Part 2 of 2 -- Audio Mini-Interviews With Lefty Bloggers

  • Bloggers Speak, Part 1 of 2 -- Audio Mini-Interviews With Lefty Bloggers

  • A Trio of FEMA Limericks
    "The FEMA head Michael D. Brown
    Helped cause thousands to suffer and drown.
    Now he's dodging the blame.
    Who's at fault? Val'rie Plame? ..."

  • Bush 404 Error -- Bush Not Found In Crawford

  • FEMA & Hurricane Katrina Humor I've put all of my humor related to FEMA, Michael Brown, and Hurricane Katrina in one place.

  • Two Crackpot Pats
    "A broadcasting preacher named Pat,
    Who quite frequently talks through his hat..."

  • Ode To Cindy Sheehan
    "The mother of a soldier dead
    Has Dubya running scared.
    Her very name fills Bush with dread.
    Face Sheehan? Dub don't dare..."

  • Bolton and Novak and Bush, Oh My! -- 3 Limericks
    "George Dubya sure loves to vacation,
    And his workout time Dub rarely rations.
    He likes recesses too,
    For the power imbued..."

  • War? What War?
    "The war on terror's going bad,
    So what's a Prez to do?
    He simply calls it something else.
    The "struggle" has debuted..."

  • Supreme Court Shenanigans -- 3 Supreme Court Limericks
    "There once was a Justice O'Connor,
    The first Sup Court Judge called "Her Honor."
    Now O'Connor's resigned..."

  • Warrior Dub's Anthem -- Song Parody (Sing To "Strangers In The Night")
    "Bush didn't pick this fight,
    But he shall win it.
    We must show our might.
    That's how he spins it.
    Bush is in the right,
    Cause Dubya speaks to God..."

  • Two Limericks about Rove and Bush
    "Some say that Karl Rove should apologize,
    Cause he slandered the Dems with derisive lies..."

  • The Doctor Turned Senator Bill -- Limerick
    "The doctor turned Senator Bill,
    Said John Bolton's appointment was killed..."

  • Cheney's Last Throes -- Song Parody (Sing To "On Top Of Old Smokey")
    "Dick says the insurgents
    Are in their last throes,
    The war's almost over,
    We're beating our foes..."

  • Lynching Is Bad? Who knew?
    "The Senate said that lynching's bad.
    It took them long enough.
    It's hardly a position rad,
    Yet getting there was tough..."

  • There Once Was A Compromise Deal
    "There once was a compromise deal,
    Entered into by "mod'rates" with zeal..."

  • Ode To Misogyny
    "A liberal blogger named Kos
    Once was paid to offensive ad host..."

  • Dopey Decision Explained In Verse
    "How dare you smoke that evil grass!
    Your pain is no excuse.
    The doctor who prescribed your weed,
    We'll string up with a noose..."

  • A Pox On Cox's Nomination
    "Chris Cox is Dubya's nominee
    To head the SEC.
    A man who boosted corp'rate rights
    With fervor, zeal, and glee..."

  • Some Say That George Dub's A Lame Duck -- Limerick
    "Some Say That George Dub's A Lame Duck,
    And that Dubya's agenda is stuck..."

  • The Immoderate Pact Song Parody (Sing to When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again)
    "The 'moderates' made a voting pact.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    The 'moderates' got their power back.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    Their deal betrays our democracy..."

  • The Don't Compromise Song (Sing to Let's Twist Again)
    "Let's compromise,"
    Words that make me shudder.
    Yeah, "let's compromise,"
    Words I've grown to fear..."

  • Injudicious Limericks A pair of limericks "celebrating" Bush judicial nominees Janice Rogers Brown and Priscilla Owen.

  • The Filibuster Song (Sing to Alouette)
    Save the filibuster.
    Save Democracy..."

  • The Top Secret Karl Rove Memo That Explains Everything
    "Never bother the Prez while he's having some fun,
    Or he's taking a nap, Or he's out for a run..."

  • The Madness Is Back
    "I've been gone for two weeks.
    Did I miss something good?
    Didn't keep up with the news,
    Though I know that I should..."

  • Cover Girl Coulter
    "The hate-spewing "pundit" named Ann,
    On Time's cover did manage to land..."

  • AMT Owed Ode -- Tax Poem
    "The AMT's a sneaky tax.
    Though meant to snare the wealthy,
    It burdens workers to the max. ..."

  • Who Can Turn The World Off With A Snarl (Song Parody about John Bolton to be sung to the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song "Love Is All Around")
    "Who mistreats his staff? Who's filled with bile?
    Who can take a lovely day, and suddenly ruin it with hate so vile? ..."

  • Nix The Nuclear Option -- Poem about the Senate Filibuster
    "With taunts and threats and lots of bluster..."

  • Dems Revisited (April Fools' Day Poem)

  • Ode To Tom DeLay -- Song Parody (to be sung to "To All The Girls I've Loved Before")
    "A Rep whose name is Tom DeLay,
    He breaks the rules most ev'ry day.
    He don't respect the law,
    Thinks ethics are a bore..."

  • Bernie Ebbers Earns A Limerick
    "I knew nothing, said WorldCom Inc.'s Bernie,
    So I shouldn't make a prison-bound journey..."

  • Nothin's More Revoltin' Than Dub's Nominee John Bolton -- Song Parody (to be sung to "Carolina In The Morning")
    "Nothin's more insultin' than a nominee named Bolton to the U........ N.
    Nothin's more revoltin' than that hawkish man named Bolton at the U........ N..."

  • Dubya's Democracy Occupation
    "Democracy cannot succeed,
    Said Dubya with a glower.
    In countries that are occupied
    By mean old foreign powers..."

  • The Real Reason Condi Gave Canada The Boot They say Condi postponed her trip to British Columbia, Canada as punishment for Canada's refusal to participate in Dubya's pet missile shield program. But I think there's a much simpler explanation: Condi doesn't want to sully her spanking new hot boots with Canadian snow...

  • Please Tell Me We Aren't Through Fuming At Brit Hume
    "Did Fox's Hume betray his trust
    To viewers near and far?
    He surely did mislead them when he quoted FDR..."

  • Ode To A Dull Drum Beat
    "Ev'ry ninety days or so,
    A blogger's post appears,
    That feigns concern for blogging gals
    Who pale beside male peers..."

  • "Dear Scotty -- Mad Kane Applies For White House Press Credentials Dear Scotty: I've always fantasized about being a White House correspondent. But until now, I've never sought so lofty a position because -- silly me -- I assumed you had to be an actual journalist..."

  • "Jeff Gannon" Gets His Own Limerick
    "Dub's White House gave Jeff press credentials,
    Though he lacks all the media essentials..."

  • Barbara Boxer Links In Verse
    "Profiled in the Mercury,
    Lauded by Birch Bayh,
    Speaking out on budget cons,
    And S.S. too. Oh, my..."

  • But Has He Ever Seen A Scanner?
    "In case there was ever a doubt at all
    That Dubya's out of touch,
    His answer to that three-job-mom
    Sure proves he don't know much..."

  • The Gonzales Vote In Verse
    "Gonzales was a test of sorts:
    Can Democrats unite?
    Most Senate Dems came through for us,
    And fought for what was right..."

  • There Once Was A Con Pulled By Bush
    "Claiming "crisis" in Social Security,
    Prez George Bush says he'll fix its impurity..."

  • Limerick Madness
    "Saying "private" account proves we're biased,
    Charge the wingnuts in tones oh so pious..."

  • Woe To The Foes Of Barb Boxer
    "Woe to the foes of Barb Boxer.
    They shouldn't even try to outfox her..."

  • Dubya's "He's Hiding" Song
    "He's hiding,
    He's hiding.
    How should I know where he'd go?
    Bin Laden's on the run in caverns.
    Where? Don't know..."

  • But What Kind Of Tree Would Bush Be?

  • The New & Improved Alberto Gonzales
    "He'll obey our treaties,
    We'll be torture-free,
    Swears Alberto to the Senate,
    So they'll make him our A.G..."

  • There Once Was A Year Named '04 It's time to review the horror referred to in polite company as 2004. But first, a limerick...

  • Dupe-Meister Dub
    "Dubya's modus operandi
    Has become quite clear.
    Conj'ring up a looming crisis
    And inciting deep fear...."

  • The No Comment Chorus (Bush can sing his way out of answering questions.)

  • Time's Madman of the Year
    "Time's person of the year
    Is Bush once more.
    Cause he's good at spreading fear,
    And harming the poor?..."

  • Bush To The Rescue
    "Our huge trade deficit's no big deal.
    According to Bush, it's easy to heal..."

  • Kerik Alert
    "George Dubya's named his nominee
    To head Homeland Security.
    He's Rudy's man from head to toe.
    But why Bush wants him, I don't know..."

  • Is There A Reader In The House?
    "Republicans have quite a scam:
    They load their bills with pork and ham,
    And sneak in clauses quite unfair,
    Whose merits aren't even aired..."

  • Halliburton Blows
    "Dick's fav'rite co
    Has blown another job.
    Losing stuff's their mo,
    When they dare not rob..."

  • Ernie Istook Explains All
    "I'm innocent,
    Says Rep. Istook.
    I'd never at your tax files look..."

  • Ode To Alberto
    "Will the Dems roll over
    And give Gonzales a pass?
    Will anyone but Ted critique
    His sordid past..."

  • Hail To The Hawks
    "Religious talk
    Of morals and faith
    Spews forth from hawks,
    Engendering hate..."

  • But Does He Like Naked Statues? -- Limerick
    "The Geneva Conventions are quaint,
    Said Gonzales. A scholar, he ain't..."

  • In The Year 2000
    "In the Year 2000,
    A man named Dub
    Stole our Prez election,
    Treated Dems like schlubs..."

  • Bush and Cheney Horrorland Song Parody (to be sung to "Winter Wonderland")
    "People die, for no reason.
    People starve, 'tis the season.
    A terrible blight,
    Each night after night,
    In the Bush and Cheney Horrorland..."

  • Georgie Dub
    "Georgie Dub still won't divulge
    The truth behind that telltale bulge..."

  • Yet Another Anti-Bush Poem
    "Lost explosives -- many tons.
    Feeling safer anyone?
    Bush forgot to mind the store.
    Must not give him four years more..."

  • Sinclair's Limerick
    "A media co. named Sinclair,
    Has decreed that its stations must air..."

  • Battle of the Debate Bulge Limerick
    "Some think that George Dubya was wired,
    While debates with John Kerry transpired..."

  • The Education President Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs")
    "Bush promised parents that he'd fix our schools.
    That he'd make sure their children didn't turn out fools.
    But all the teachers got were lots of rules..."

  • Cheney v. Edwards Limericks
    "There once was a Veep named Dick,
    Whose actions made liberals sick..."

  • Sore Loser Limerick
    "There once was a man named George Dub,
    Who debated and mis'rably flubbed..."

  • Top Secret Debate Contract Addendum "As most people know by now, President Bush and Senator Kerry have signed on to a 32 page debate agreement. But few are aware that they also signed a secret addendum to that agreement. Fortunately, has an exclusive copy of that secret addendum, provided by a DC insider whom I will identify only as Debate Throat..."

  • Shipping Bush/Cheney Back Home (to be sung to "The Caissons Go Rolling Along")
    "On the Hill, on the dale,
    Kerry/Edwards will not fail.
    We'll be shipping Bush/Cheney back home..."

  • Cheney's E-Bray
    "Be happy and be gay.
    It's a fabulous new day.
    Things are A-okay.
    Cause you're trading on eBay..."

  • "W" Stands For What?
    "W" stands for "wrong,"
    Says Kerry on the stump.
    But some give "wrong" a gong,
    And say it should be dumped..."

  • Odes to the "Zellot"
    "There once was a turncoat named Zell,
    Whose soul to George Bush he did sell..."

  • Oust George Bush Song Parody (to be sung to "Five Foot Two" a/k/a "Has Anybody Seen My Gal?")
    It's time to oust them from DC.
    Evict George Bush and all his pals..."

  • The GOP Hits New York Song Parody (to be sung to "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")
    "The GOP bash will soon be here.
    Oh, no! Oh, no!
    Won't give 'em a hearty welcome cheer.
    Oh, no! Oh, no..."

  • Dub & Dick's Limerick
    "George Dub has a Veep named Dick Cheney.
    Next to Dub he appears rather brainy..."

  • Ode to Our Misleader
    "We have a misleader named George.
    On power and lies he does gorge..."

  • Ode to Ann Coulter
    "There once was wingnut named Ann,
    With one USA Today fan..."

  • Dick's The Ticket
    "Dick Cheney's Halliburton teamed
    With evil axis, mad regimes,
    To make big bucks while Dick was CEO.

    Now Cheney lies and feigns and schemes..."

  • Ode To John Edwards a/k/a The Trial Lawyers Song (to be sung to "Moon River")
    "Trial lawyers
    Go that extra mile,
    To see that all those vile
    Guys pay..."

  • Cheney Cheney! I've written so much Dick Cheney humor -- two fake interviews, two song parodies, & a couple of poems -- I figured he deserved his own special page. And so it's time to Cheney Cheney!

  • Dub's Dream "A dictatorship would be easier, Bush has said in jest..."

  • Bush Birthday Haiku

  • Cheney 'Em All!
    "The "F word" and the "C word" and the "S word" and the rest
    Must make some room for "Cheney."
    As a curse word, it's the best..."

  • And The Winner Is -- Results of the Rename the Food Stamps Program -- Contest with Prize

  • Ode to the F-Word I couldn't resist waxing poetic about Vice President Dick Cheney's little temper tantrum...

  • Number Fudging A La Bush

  • Dubya's Plea
    Our Bishops need to do much more
    To safeguard all that's good,
    Said Dubya to the Pope when Dub
    Was in the neighborhood..."

  • Dump Bush Song (to be sung to "Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush")
    "We must defeat George W. Bush,
    George W. Bush, George W. Bush.
    We must defeat George W. Bush.
    Vote Kerry this November..."

  • Dubya Takes The High Road

  • Mis-Education President
    Bush swore he'd leave no child behind,
    A very worthy goal.
    Instead, he left the states a great big budgetary hole.

  • Unforgivable (to be sung to "Unforgettable")
    "I apologize." Bush just won't say,
    "I apologize." George Bush? No way!
    There's a trail of failures caused by Dub.
    He won't say, "I'm sorry." There's the rub.
    Never before has someone been more..."

  • Alpha Politics
    "A" is for John Ashcroft and the liberties he's mauled.
    "B" is for Barb Bush and hub. Dub's birth is all their fault.
    "C" is for Ms. Condi Rice, who speaks so many lies.
    "D" is for the Dixie Chicks, who dare to Bush despise..."

  • Ode To The August PDB
    "When Condoleezza Rice speaks out
    Does anybody buy her?
    It's hard to fathom how she fumbled warnings, oh so dire..."

  • Fact-Free Bush (to be sung to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain")
    "When the facts get in the way you change the facts,
    And when facts get in the way, give facts the ax.
    When the facts get in the way,
    When the facts get in the way,
    When the facts get in the way you change the facts..."

  • Brace yourself for "Operation Richard Clarke"

  • Daily Kos Song A song parody about the right wing attack on the liberal Daily Kos weblog, to be sung to the Mister Ed TV show song.

  • Hires An Ombudsman For years I've been flooded with emails challenging the accuracy of At first I did what most publications do -- I ignored them. But as time went by, I realized that something had to be done. So in keeping with recent trends and in the interest of sound journalism, I've appointed an ombudsman who'd like to be known only as "Bud." Here is Bud's first report...

  • Political Dish Crossword Puzzle (Interactive)

  • AWOL Jobs
    "Our jobs are disappearing
    To nations far and wide.
    While Dubya has no plan at all
    To stem this risky tide..."

  • Ralph & Rove "It looks like Ralph Nader is poised to announce another run. I guess he found this email persuasive:
    Subject: What will it take? ..."

  • Mass Distraction
    "A Massachusetts Liberal
    They call him with a hiss.
    For wingnuts could there ever be
    A better Kerry diss..."

  • Parody Interview with Vice President Dick Cheney (2004) For some inexplicable reason, VP Richard Cheney returns for a second spoof interview.

  • Ode To Feisty Franken
    "Ferocious Franken,
    Feisty Al's our man.
    He'll tackle hecklers sans battle plan..."

  • State of the Disunion Crossword Puzzle (Interactive)

  • Dubya's Poetic Injustice
    "A humble foreign policy,
    Bush promised way back when.
    Then wages war preemptively.
    For bloodshed Dubya yens..."

  • 2nd Annual Dubya Quote Quiz Can you tell the difference between a satirical Dubya quote and the real enchilada? Take the second annual Dubya Quote Quiz and see.

  • Dean's Electable (to be sung to "Unforgettable'")
    "Dean's electable. Dean worries Karl.
    So electable, Rove's nails are gnarled.
    It's the fear of Rove that Bush he'll beat,
    That he'll send George Dub a huge defeat..."

  • Almanacs of Evil
    "If you dare to use an almanac,
    The Feds are on your case.
    You may swear you're not a maniac,
    But charges you could face..."

  • Bushtown Races "The Bush White House is being praised for not gloating over Saddam Hussein's capture. But is Bush really exercising such uncharacteristic self-restraint? Not according to my sources, who claim he's singing a different tune in the privacy of the Oval Office..."

  • Oh, What A Mis'rable Failure (to be sung to "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" from "Oklahoma")
    "There's a right wingnut based in the White House.
    End that right wingnut's stay in the White House.
    His lies are piled high as an elephant's eye,
    And it looks like they're climbin' clear up to the sky..."

  • Dubya's Travels, Brit Travails
    "George Bush so wants to greet the Queen
    And pose for photo ops.
    He'd also love some signs unseen,
    Their bearers nabbed by cops..."

  • St. Reagan's Song (to be sung to "Just You Wait" from "My Fair Lady")
    "He's a saint, Ronald Reagan, he's a saint!
    You'll be sorry if you dare to say, he ain't.
    A fine bloke who's kind and cunning,
    Beat the Russians, great with money.
    He's a saint, Ronald Reagan, he's a saint..."

  • Dubya's Don't Blame Me Song (to be sung to "Good King Wenceslas")
    "I didn't do it. Not my fault!
    Maybe 'twas some sailor.
    Banners ain't my thing at all.
    I was with my tailor..."

  • The Spinning Song (to be sung to "Spinning Wheel" by David Clayton Thomas -- Blood, Sweat & Tears)
    "Down is up. Up is down.
    Spinners wield lies that confound.
    Claimin' that our troubles really prove: We win!
    Spreadin' Bush baloney, Dubya smirks as he spins..."

  • Ode to the Barbed Bushes
    "George Dubya's mom goes on TV
    To plug her book and whine.
    She brags about her Forty-three.
    Says Dems shouldn't Dub malign..."

  • General Boykin's Ballad
    "We're at war against Satan?
    A startling idea!
    That explains all the hatin'
    And mongering fear..."

  • Press Filter Follies (Dubya's Anti-Media Poem)
    "An evil filter is the press.
    They lie and say Iraq's a mess.
    Though things are going great down there,
    You'll never hear it on the air..."

  • Spoof Interview with Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

  • The Traitorgate Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs" by Barry Manilow)
    "The scandal started with a Niger lie
    About nuke matter Saddam never did buy.
    But Dubya would not let that falsehood die.
    It's Traitorgate, it's Traitorgate..."

  • French Fall Guy Song (to be sung to "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair," from South Pacific)
    "Bush wants to wash the French right out of his hair.
    Old Europe France does things he simply can't bear.
    If only France was out of George Bush's hair.
    He'd always get his way..."

  • The Traitor Tune (to be sung to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain")
    "If you criticize the White House, you're a fool.
    Nothing more than an Al Qaeda pal and tool.
    If you criticize the White House,
    If you criticize the White House,
    If you criticize the White House, you're a fool..."

  • The Blackout Song (to be sung to "Just The Way You Are," by Billy Joel)
    "Don't go blaming
    George Bush for blackouts.
    Electric grids are such a bore..."

  • Power Pols
    "How the politicians glower
    When they're blamed for losing power.
    Make excuses by the hour,
    Faces grim and oh so dour..."

  • Spying Days Are Here Again (To be sung to "Happy Days Are Here Again")
    "Spying days are here again.
    You aren't safe from evil men.
    One might even be a real close friend.
    Spying days are here again..."

  • The Fair & Balanced Song Parody (To be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage")
    "Fair and balanced,
    Fair and balanced.
    Empty slogans, rabid views, and shrill rants.
    Fox calls critics liars.
    O'Reilly's filled with angst and ire..."

  • Yellow Bush of Texas (To be sung to "Yellow Rose of Texas")
    "There's a yellow Bush in Texas, that's where he loves to be.
    Where Dub can dodge the media, evading scrutiny.
    He cries so when he leaves there, it nearly breaks his heart..."

  • Fabulosa Condoleezza (To be sung to "Mona Lisa")
    "Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Dub adores you.
    You're so fine at saying falsehoods with a smile.
    Is it cause you're female, Condi, that they've blamed you
    For your fabulosa fakery and guile..."

  • Dear John Ashcroft Secreted out of the White House by "Deep Dubya" -- a frightening questionnaire from the "write President Bush email system" we almost got.

  • Bush Says The Words (To be sung to "I Write The Songs")
    "I say the words that other people write.
    Don't give a damn if they are wrong or right.
    As long as folks think war is justified.
    I say the words, I say the words..."

  • Bush Misleads (To be sung to "Let It Be")
    "We must drive ourselves in times of trouble.
    Mustn't tarry, must be free.
    We shall work to oust him. Bush misleads..."

  • Democrats' Anthem: Election 2004 (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind")
    "How many wars must a President start
    Without any reason at all?
    How much ill will must a President cause
    Until he at last takes the fall?
    How many wars must a President launch
    Because he is greedy for oil?
    The answer my friend is dump Republicans.
    The answer is dump Republicans..."

  • Christie Whitman Went To Town (To be sung to "Yankee Doodle")
    "Christie Whitman went to town
    To do George Dubya's bidding.
    For power acted like a clown,
    Enviro head unfitting.
    Those who've smelled New Jersey's stink
    Got what they expected..."

  • Ari, Ari (To be sung to "Monday, Monday")
    "Ari, Ari, Please don't leave me.
    Ari, Ari, You were all I hoped you would be.
    Oh, Ari, Ari, Ari, Ari, please guarantee
    Through reelection you will still be here with me..."

  • Bye Bye Mitch (To be sung to "Bye Bye Love")
    "Bye bye Mitch,
    Mitch D's quit, he says,
    He helped make a mess,
    I sure ain't gonna cry..."

  • "Traitor" Chicks Serenade (To be sung to "Lollipop")
    "Call 'em Traitor Dixie Chicks, tell you why,
    Insulting Bush besmirches apple pie.
    So when they try to sing and play and dance,
    Man, they haven't got a chance..."

  • All I Want Is A New Regime (To be sung to "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady")
    "All I want is a new regime,
    In the White House a brand new team,
    From ear to ear I'd beam,
    Aow, wouldn't it be loverly..."

  • The Rummy Poem Slate Missed
    "Don Rumsfeld wants some muting
    Of news that he's disputing
    And photos he's refuting,
    Cause we've won every fray..."

  • Antiwar Humor Page. To make it easier to find my antiwar song parodies and comic strips, I've created this antiwar humor page. It also has an annotated list of links to many fine sites featuring antiwar humor.

  • Don't Cry For Dick's Halliburton (To be sung to the chorus of "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina")
    "Don't cry for Dick's Halliburton.
    The truth is he never left you.
    All through his Veep days,
    His mad existence,
    He kept his promise.
    He went the distance..."

  • Disinfo Ode
    "Are we being misled
    By reporters embed
    Spewing info spoon-fed?
    Is the truth being shred..."

  • Bush Don't Need No Demonstrations (To be sung to "Another Brick in the Wall," by Pink Floyd)
    "Bush don't need no demonstrations.
    He don't need no 'pinion polls.
    No dark forecasts of gloom and war doom.
    Peaceniks! Leave George Bush alone..."

  • More Dubya Comic Strips My latest Dubya Comic Strips are Dubya Doles Out Democracy, Chicken-Hawk President, and Export Nation.

  • Old George Dubya's Talkin' (To be sung to "Everybody's Talkin'")
    "Old George Dubya's talkin' at me.
    I don't buy a word he's sayin'.
    Can't bear the echoes of his lies..."

  • Dubya Comic Strips I've created some more Dubya Comic Strips. So far I've posted State of Disunion, Dubya Makes the Grade, Warrior Bush, Phrase-Maker Bush, Sacred Bush, Dubya Does College, Blind Trust, and State of the Union.

  • Bush and Tony (To be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage")
    "Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Go together like a cart and pony.
    This I tell you brother
    You can't have one without the other.
    Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Always waging war & being phony..."

  • Prez From Old New England (To be sung to "Girl From Ipanema")
    "Tall and tan and brash and ornery,
    The Prez from old New England goes talking,
    And when he rants, yes, the Dems he bashes go -- Bah..."

  • Class Warfare Song (To be sung to "Moon River")
    "Class warfare,
    Poverty will swell
    If Karl and Dubya get
    Their way..."

  • Dubya Quote Quiz Can you tell the difference between a satirical Dubya quote and the real enchilada? Take the first annual Dubya Quote Quiz and see.

  • Fristy The Surgeon (To be sung to "Frosty The Snowman" by Nelson & Rollins)
    "Fristy the surgeon
    Was elected on the phone.
    With a White House boost got the Leader post.
    Will he throw Trent Lott a bone..."

  • Trent Lott's Lot
    "Said good ol' boy Trent,
    You misconstrued
    Just what I meant.
    'Twas but a toast to a friend,
    Cause he still is not yet dead..."

  • Bush Loves Things Just The Way They Are (To be sung to "Just The Way You Are" by Billy Joel)
    "Don't go blaming
    George Bush for Wall Street,
    Cause fuzzy math is such a bore..."

  • Secret To Hide (To be sung to "Ticket To Ride" by Lennon/McCartney)
    "The nation's gonna be had.
    I think it's today, yeah.
    That Bush he's driving me mad
    With Henry the K..."

  • The Rantings Of Trent Lott (To be sung to "The Sidewalks Of New York" by Lawlor & Blake)
    "Sounding off in DC
    From his Senate stoop,
    In his right-wing meetings,
    Lott leads a scary group..."

  • When Liberals Rule (To be sung to "Blue Bayou" by Roy Orbison and Joe Melson)
    "I feel so bad, I got a worried mind,
    I`m so anxious all the time,
    Since the Dems were left far behind
    And George Bush rules..."

  • Say Goodbye To Privacy (To be sung to "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" by Billy Joel)
    "Bush is drivin' through a bill that strips rights,
    Turns your life to an open, guided tour.
    It sends your info to a Fed'ral machine.
    It's a scene straight from Nineteen-Eight-Four.
    Say goodbye to privacy.
    Say goodbye to freedom..."

  • Tommy's Tune (To be sung to "Alfie" by Hal David & Burt Bacharach)
    "What's it all about, Tommy?
    Why did Dems get such paltry few wins..."

  • Handling Harvey
    "CHENEY: Good morning, Mr. President. We need to discuss the Pitt problem. If anybody asks, we're mulling over the idea of asking Harvey to resign. (Wink, wink)
    DUBYA: But I like Harvey. More important -- our pals like Harvey. What's the matter with yur eye?
    CHENEY: There's nothing wrong with my eye! If anybody asks, we're mulling over the idea of asking Pitt to resign. (Wink, wink)
    DUBYA: I just told ya -- I'm not dumpin Harvey! Ya really should get that eye looked at..."

  • Bush Don't Want No Arms Inspections (To be sung to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones)
    "I don't want no arms inspections,
    I don't want no arms inspections.
    But I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie..."

  • Irresolution Blues (To be sung to "I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter" by Ahlert/Young)
    "I had to rubber stamp that Iraq resolution.
    And make believe it's right to do.
    The GOP is tough to beat.
    I'm scared to go down in defeat.
    And so I kissed George Bush's bottom.
    Please don't think I'm rotten..."

  • 401(k) Ode (Owed) (To be sung to "Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Goodbye" by Kahn, Erdman & Russo)
    "Four-Oh-One-Kay, good-bye!
    Keeps on dropping, oh my!
    Republicans who tell me,
    I shouldn't be blue, no words can tell how mad it makes me.
    Four-Oh-One-Kay, oh when
    Will you rise up again..."

  • Suin' For The Win (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind" by Bob Dylan)
    "How many ways can I run unopposed
    And still claim that I'm being fair?
    How many ways can I get every vote
    And land me a Senator's chair?
    How many claims can I bring to the courts
    Before the election's declared?
    The answer my friends is in my lawyers' hands,
    The answer is in my lawyers' hands..."

  • Don't Think Twice, Let's Just Fight (To be sung to "Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan)
    "Well it ain’t no use to curse and pine and sigh, babe.
    If you don't know by now.
    And it ain’t no use to miss that other guy, babe.
    And the ever rising Dow.
    Cause my boosters crow and the weak Dems fawn.
    Read any paper. You'll see I've won.
    That's the reason I'm warrin' on.
    Don't think twice, let's just fight..."

  • War's A Distraction (To be sung to "Anticipation" by Carly Simon)
    "We can never know about the days to come.
    But we think about them anyway.
    And I wonder how we let Bush bring us down.
    Why he always gets his damn mean and evil way.
    War's a distraction. War's a distraction.
    He's feeding us hate.
    Iraq he's baiting..."

  • Bush Clears His Brain (To be sung to "The Rain In Spain" from "My Fair Lady" by Lerner & Loewe)
    "To clear his brain Bush runs across the plain.
    That George he does it.
    That George he does it.
    He runs because he fears he'll go insane..."

  • Iraq, Iraq (To be sung to "New York, New York" from "On The Town")
    "Iraq, Iraq, I refuse to back down.
    Most hawks say yup, but some others just frown.
    Hussein belongs in a hole in the ground.
    Iraq, Iraq, I refuse to back down..."

  • On Wall Street (To be sung to "On Broadway")
    "They say that things are really bad on Wall Street.
    They say there's much malfeasance in the air.
    But I don't want to hurt my friends.
    And tough laws give my pals the bends.
    Then donors drop right off and I'm nowhere..."

  • Let's Roll Trademark Adversaries Unite Against President Bush "A trademark dispute took an unexpected turn this week after President George Dubya Bush used the phrase "let's roll" for roughly the eleven zillionth time..."

  • Preemption (To be sung to "Tradition" from "Fiddler On The Roof")
    "Preemption, preemption! Preemption!
    Preemption, preemption! Preemption!
    Who, day and night, must run the greatest nation,
    Heed the polls and Karl Rove, say his daily prayers?
    And who has the right, as U. S. President,
    To have the final word on war..."

  • I Read The News Each Day, Oh Boy (To be sung to the tune of "A Day In The Life" by Lennon/McCartney)
    "I read the news each day, oh boy
    About a President who got poor grades.
    Of course the news is mostly sad
    Though one thing made me laugh
    The chewing gum photograph..."

  • Ode to Pootie-Poot (To be sung to the tune of "Lollipop" by the Chordettes)
    "Pootie-Poot, Pootie-Poot, oh Pootie, Pootie, Pootie,
    Pootie-Poot, Pootie-Poot, oh Pootie, Pootie, Pootie,
    Pootie-Poot, Pootie-Poot, oh Pootie, Pootie, Pootie,

    Call my Putin Pootie-Poot.
    Tell you why.
    His soul is sweeter than an apple pie.
    But with his tough negotiation stance
    Man, I haven't got a chance..."

  • Dubya's Dayly Diary My satirical Dubya's Dayly Diary has been named's Fun Site of the Week and won an Bushie Award for best Bush-inspired parody on the Net.

  • Spinmeister (To be sung to the tune of "Matchmaker" from "Fiddler on the Roof")
    "Spinmeister, spinmeister, spin me some spin,
    Write me a line, win me a win.
    Spinmeister, spinmeister, search through your brain
    And spin me some 9-1-1 spin..."

  • Ashcroft's Favorite Things (To be sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things")
    "Rifles and roscoes and Winch'sters and cannons,
    Rich NRA guys who own lots of weapons,
    Generous men to whose pockets I cling,
    These are a few of my favorite things..."

  • Parody Dick Cheney Interview You wouldn't think Dick Cheney'd sit for an interview with the author of Dubya's Dayly Diary. And you'd be right.

  • Hey Hughes (To be sung to the tune of "Hey Jude")
    "Hey Hughes, don't leave DC.
    Take a sad Bush and make me better.
    Remember I need you cause you're so smart,
    Then you can start to make me better..."

  • Five Foot Ten (To be sung to the tune of "Five Foot Two")
    "Five foot ten, great at spin,
    But oh! she's tougher than most men.
    Has anybody seen my gal?
    Striking pose, scares my foes,
    There's no end to what she knows.
    Has anybody seen my gal..."

  • Pretzel Producers Allege Dubya Defamation, File Multibillion Buck Lawsuit "The National Association of Pretzel Producers ("NAPP") filed suit late yesterday against President Bush... NAPP's complaint, which seeks five billion dollars in compensatory and punitive damages for "pretzel product slander, pretzel product libel, and defamatory snack food disparagement," alleges that Bush and his codefendants "did willfully and maliciously and/or with reckless disregard for the truth, publish and disseminate false and/or untrue statements about the activities of one or more pretzels..."

  • I'm Dubya The President (To be sung to the tune of "I'm Popeye The Sailor Man")
    "I'm Dubya the President.
    I've always said what I meant.
    When I yell "Stop terror!"
    I'm never in error.
    I'm Dubya the President..."

  • Dubya's Dream (To be sung to the tune of "Impossible Dream" from "Man From La Mancha")
    "To scheme an insidious scheme,
    Where every dissenter's my foe,
    To act like I share people's sorrow,
    To run three fast miles in a row..."

  • Old Dick Cheney (To be sung to the tune of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm")
    "Old Dick Cheney's hiding stuff, from the GAO.
    And when they sued, Dick had a cow, he hates the GAO.
    With a lawsuit here and a lawsuit there,
    Here a suit, there a suit,
    Everywhere a lawsuit.
    Old Dick Cheney's hiding stuff, from the GAO..."

  • Comics' Relief: Late Night Comedians Begin Group Therapy "In the wake of the terrorist attacks on the United States, political humor has virtually disappeared, replaced by patriotic platitudes. Deprived of their customary targets, late night TV talk show hosts are at their wits' end, struggling to find a new humorous voice that entertains without offending. So it's not surprising that Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart, and Bill Maher have sought comic relief in group therapy. Here's the transcript of their first joint therapy session, leaked to me by someone I'll simply call Deep Doc..."

  • George Dubya Bush Channeler Seeks Therapy "Doctor's Notes: An unusually difficult first session. Patient was referred by Employer law firm, who has placed Patient on indefinite mental health leave. HR files furnished by Employer report erratic behavior dating back eight months, including: 1. Patient refused to address sundry judges as "Your Honor" on seven occasions, leading to..."

  • Election News Alert "Health care professionals throughout the United States are bracing for a severe outbreak of National Election Withdrawal Syndrome..."

  • Ms. LegalPerson Tries To Explain Election 2000 "Ms. LegalPerson is happy to report that Tuesday's Presidential election is over and that Gore ... no ... Bush ... no ... Gore ... no ... Bush ... no.... Hmmm, better begin again in the "do over" spirit that's overtaken the U.S. media. Here goes: Ms. LegalPerson is happy to report that Tuesday is history. Tuesday's election, however, may never end..."

  • Great Math Divide Every time I open a newspaper or surf the Web, there's another poll trying to predict who will be our next President. But are the pollsters asking the right questions? I'm convinced that when push comes to lever pull..."

  • A Kiss Before Speechifying "Actually, I was trying to send a message to Tipper." So said Vice President Al Gore, when asked if he was trying to send a message to the country with the Gores' nationally televised smooch on the final evening of the Democratic National Convention. For some reason I can't quite grasp, people are making a big deal about the not quite X-rated kiss Al gave Tipper right before he began his nomination acceptance speech...

  • You Really Want A House? Okay, Here's The Drill. "President Clinton recently picked up a cordless electric drill and joked that he'd be needing one now that he's about to become a homeowner..."

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