Q. You claim to be a humor writer. Why would a humor writer have a privacy policy?
A. Because I believe that people who visit a Web site and give out their email address, their name, or other personal information, are entitled to know what, if anything, is being done with that information.
Q. That's a serious sounding answer. I thought you're supposed to be a humor columnist.
A. Sorry. I won't let it happen again.
Q. If I give you my email address, my name, or any other information, will you pass it on to anybody else?
A. No, I won't pass on any information about you to anybody else. And I will take any necessary security precautions to prevent others from accessing your email address and any other information you may give me.
Q. Do you promise?
A. Scout's honor.
Q. You were a Girl Scout?
A. More of a Girl Scout dropout.
Q. Then why should we believe you?
A. Because I never ran for political office.
Q. Sounds good to me. Tell me: If I give you my email address so I can subscribe to your MadKane Humor Newsletter, what will you do with my email address?
Q. You won't give or sell my address to a spammer or anybody else?
A. Absolutely not.
Q.What if I send you an email telling you how much I hated one of your humor columns?
A. I won't share your email address with anybody, even if you make me cry.
Q. What if I tell you I hate all of your columns?
A. I'll subscribe you to my newsletter 1000 times -- Only kidding.
Q. Is there anything else I should know?
A. Yes. If you give me your credit card info in order to buy something, I promise not to let it get into evil hands.
Q. Does that mean you've written a book that I can buy from your site?
A. Do you have any contacts in the book publishing industry?
Q. Is it really true that your readers frequently ask you these questions?
A. No.
Q. Do they ever ask you these questions?
A. No.
Q. What sort of questions do MadKane.com readers ask you?
A. (a) Why does your husband put up with you?
(b) Why would anybody in his right mind pay you to write humor?
(c) You're cute. Can I have your phone number?
Q. What are your answers?
A. (a) Beats the heck out of me.
(b) Beats the heck out of me.
(c) No. It's private.
