(To be sung to the tune of "Matchmaker" from "Fiddler on the Roof." If you'd like to sing along, here's a midi link which opens a second window.)
Spinmeister, spinmeister, spin me some spin,
Write me a line, win me a win.
Spinmeister, spinmeister, search through your brain
And spin me some 9-1-1 spin.
Spinmeister, spinmeister, I will prevail.
Just write the words, cleverly veiled.
Bring me the script for I'm planning to be
In office eternally.
For those who donate big dollars,
For Poppy make me strong as a king,
For me, well, I wouldn't holler
If you were as brilliant as anything.
Spinmeister, spinmeister, spin me some spin,
Write me a line, win me a win.
Day after day I'm assaulted by foes,
So write me some real sneaky prose.
Spinmeister, spinmeister don't let me down.
Weave me a tale. Enemies abound.
Dems and the press are determined to see
What dirt they can get on me.
Spinmeister, spinmeister, good doublespeak
Helps me to squash, 9-1-1 leaks.
Spinmeister, we need to bury the facts.
With truth let's play hide and seek.
For those who'd challenge my honor
And those who my uprightness assail,
Well I just would not be bothered
If all those who doubt me were thrown in jail.
Spinmeister, spinmeister, spin me some spin,
Write me a line, win me a win.
Day after day I'm assaulted by foes,
So sharpen your pen, loosen your tongue,
Unleash your wit, write till I've won,
While speaking your pious prose.