Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of 2008 Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor

           

I created this page to make it easier to find my antiwar song parodies, comic strips, and satirical poems.

• Serenade For The First Sufferers (Song Parody) "I’m betting that Laura Bush can finally say goodbye to her relatively high approval numbers. Why? Because on this morning’s Today Show, Laura said something to Anne Curry that’s way beyond obnoxious. ..."

• The Commander Guy Uncensored "George Dubya, our swaggering action-figure president, has dubbed himself 'The Commander Guy.' Okay, that’s absurd enough. But here’s the part you may have missed: ..."

• Bush and Cheney's Blunderland (Song Parody -- Sing To Winter Wonderland)
  "Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
  No debate. Stop your braying.
  'Fantastic' at war!
  Bush Rummy adores.
  Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland. ..."

• Warrior Dub's Anthem -- Song Parody (Sing To "Strangers In The Night")
  "Bush didn't pick this fight,
  But he shall win it.
  We must show our might.
  That's how he spins it.
  Bush is in the right,
  Cause Dubya speaks to God..."

• Cheney's Last Throes -- Song Parody (Sing To "On Top Of Old Smokey")
  "Dick says the insurgents
  Are in their last throes,
  The war's almost over,
  We're beating our foes..."

• Who Can Turn The World Off With A Snarl (Song Parody about John Bolton to be sung to the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song "Love Is All Around")
  "Who mistreats his staff? Who's filled with bile?
  Who can take a lovely day, and suddenly ruin it with hate so vile? ..."

• Nothin's More Revoltin' Than Dub's Nominee John Bolton -- Song Parody (to be sung to "Carolina In The Morning")
  "Nothin's more insultin' than a nominee named Bolton to the U........ N.
  Nothin's more revoltin' than that hawkish man named Bolton at the U........ N..."

• Dubya's "He's Hiding" Song
  "He's hiding,
  He's hiding.
  How should I know where he'd go?
  Bin Laden's on the run in caverns.
  Where? Don't know..."

• Bush and Cheney Horrorland Song Parody (to be sung to "Winter Wonderland")
  "People die, for no reason.
  People starve, 'tis the season.
  A terrible blight,
  Each night after night,
  In the Bush and Cheney Horrorland..."

• Dubya's Don't Blame Me Song (to be sung to "Good King Wenceslas")
  "I didn't do it. Not my fault!
  Maybe 'twas some sailor.
  Banners ain't my thing at all.
  I was with my tailor..."

• The Traitorgate Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs" by Barry Manilow)
  "The scandal started with a Niger lie
  About nuke matter Saddam never did buy.
  But Dubya would not let that falsehood die.
  It's Traitorgate, it's Traitorgate..."

• Fabulosa Condoleezza (To be sung to "Mona Lisa")
  "Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Dub adores you.
  You're so fine at saying falsehoods with a smile.
  Is it cause you're female, Condi, that they've blamed you
  For your fabulosa fakery and guile..."

• Bush Says The Words (To be sung to "I Write The Songs")
  "I say the words that other people write.
  Don't give a damn if they are wrong or right.
  As long as folks think war is justified.
  I say the words, I say the words..."

• Bush Misleads (To be sung to "Let It Be")
  "We must drive ourselves in times of trouble.
  Mustn't tarry, must be free.
  We shall work to oust him. Bush misleads..."

• Democrats' Anthem: Election 2004 (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind")
  "How many wars must a President start
  Without any reason at all?
  How much ill will must a President cause
  Until he at last takes the fall?
  How many wars must a President launch
  Because he is greedy for oil?
  The answer my friend is dump Republicans.
  The answer is dump Republicans...."

• "Traitor" Chicks Serenade (To be sung to "Lollipop")
  "Call 'em Traitor Dixie Chicks, tell you why,
  Insulting Bush besmirches apple pie.
  So when they try to sing and play and dance,
  Man, they haven't got a chance..."

• All I Want Is A New Regime (To be sung to "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady")
  "All I want is a new regime,
  In the White House a brand new team,
  From ear to ear I'd beam,
  Aow, wouldn't it be loverly..."

• Bush and Tony (To be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage")
  "Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
  Go together like a cart and pony.
  This I tell you brother
  You can't have one without the other.
  Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
  Always waging war & being phony..."

• Iraq, Iraq (To be sung to "New York, New York" from "On The Town")
  "Iraq, Iraq, I refuse to back down.
  Most hawks say yup, but some others just frown.
  Hussein belongs in a hole in the ground.
  Iraq, Iraq, I refuse to back down..."

• Dubya's Dream (To be sung to the tune of "Impossible Dream" from "Man From La Mancha")
  "To scheme an insidious scheme,
  Where every dissenter's my foe,
  To act like I share people's sorrow,
  To run three fast miles in a row..."

• Don't Cry For Dick's Halliburton (To be sung to the chorus of "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina")
  "Don't cry for Dick's Halliburton.
  The truth is he never left you.
  All through his Veep days,
  His mad existence,
  He kept his promise.
  He went the distance..."

• Bush Don't Need No Demonstrations (To be sung to "Another Brick in the Wall," by Pink Floyd)
  "Bush don't need no demonstrations.
  He don't need no 'pinion polls.
  No dark forecasts of gloom and war doom.
  Peaceniks! Leave George Bush alone..."

• Don't Think Twice, Let's Just Fight (To be sung to "Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan)
  "Well it ain’t no use to curse and pine and sigh, babe.
  If you don't know by now.
  And it ain’t no use to miss that other guy, babe.
  And the ever rising Dow.
  Cause my boosters crow and the weak Dems fawn.
  Read any paper. You'll see I've won.
  That's the reason I'm warrin' on.
  Don't think twice, let's just fight..."

• Bush Loves Things Just The Way They Are (To be sung to "Just The Way You Are" by Billy Joel)
  "Don't go blaming
  George Bush for Wall Street,
  Cause fuzzy math is such a bore..."

• Old George Dubya's Talkin' (To be sung to "Everybody's Talkin'")
  "Old George Dubya's talkin' at me.
  I don't buy a word he's sayin'.
  Can't bear the echoes of his lies..."

• Prez From Old New England (To be sung to "Girl From Ipanema")
  "Tall and tan and brash and ornery,
  The Prez from old New England goes talking,
  And when he rants, yes, the Dems he bashes go -- Bah..."

• Class Warfare Song (To be sung to "Moon River")
  "Class warfare,
  Poverty will swell
  If Karl and Dubya get
  Their way..."

• Bush Don't Want No Arms Inspections (To be sung to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones)
  "I don't want no arms inspections,
  I don't want no arms inspections.
  But I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie..."

• Irresolution Blues (To be sung to "I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter" by Ahlert/Young)
  "I had to rubber stamp that Iraq resolution.
  And make believe it's right to do.
  The GOP is tough to beat.
  I'm scared to go down in defeat.
  And so I kissed George Bush's bottom.
  Please don't think I'm rotten..."

• War's A Distraction (To be sung to "Anticipation" by Carly Simon)
  "We can never know about the days to come.
  But we think about them anyway.
  And I wonder how we let Bush bring us down.
  Why he always gets his damn mean and evil way.
  War's a distraction. War's a distraction.
  He's feeding us hate.
  Iraq he's baiting..."

• Preemption (To be sung to "Tradition" from "Fiddler On The Roof")
  "Preemption, preemption! Preemption!
  Preemption, preemption! Preemption!
  Who, day and night, must run the greatest nation,
  Heed the polls and Karl Rove, say his daily prayers?
  And who has the right, as U. S. President,
  To have the final word on war..."

• I Read The News Each Day, Oh Boy (To be sung to the tune of "A Day In The Life" by Lennon/McCartney)
  "I read the news each day, oh boy
  About a President who got poor grades.
  Of course the news is mostly sad
  Though one thing made me laugh
  The chewing gum photograph..."

• Nukes Glorious Nukes (To be sung to the tune of "Food Glorious Food" from "Oliver")
  "Nukes, glorious nukes! I'm eager to build 'em.
  When I'm in the mood, I might even launch 'em.
  Peace? Don't make me laugh, boys. What's next? There's no question.
  Rich patriots rule. Doves get indigestion..."

• Bush And His Shadow (To be sung to the tune of "Me And My Shadow")
  "Bush and his shadow, ruling the United States.
  Bush and his shadow, not a word to Dems whose guts he hates.
  And when it's time to act, he turns to Blair.
  Bush won't share facts with Congress on a dare.
  Just Bush and his shadow, all alone and feeling great..."

• Dubya's Ode To Korean Sunshine (To be sung to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine")
  "I praise the sunshine, I root for sunshine,
  Tween South Korea and N. K. too.
  They'll never know, Dick, how much I'm lying.
  Please don't take my war ruse away..."

• McCain's Memory Purge (Limerick)

• Petraeus and Crocker Face Hume Humiliation "I had to laugh when I heard about Brit Hume’s exclusive Fox interview with General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker “about the state of the Iraq war and their testimony to Congress.” What’s the matter — wasn’t Hannity available? ..."

• Bush's Iraq Strategy: Here ... Catch "President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill. Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. ..."

• Ode To The Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven "Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered George Bush about Iraq and had the 'most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.' ..."

• Merchants Of Hype "On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. ..."

• Dems Pull Bush's Chain (Limerick)
  "The Congressional Dems reached a deal.
  No, it isn’t ideal, yet I feel ..."

• What George Bush Might Say, If He Spoke English
  "You’re cowards! You’re traitors! J’accuse!
  You in Congress, I’ll surge if I choose. ..."

• Why Does George Bush Hate Our Troops?
  "Where’s the medical aid for our troops?
  When they’re injured, they’re treated like dupes. ..."

• Ode To Little John Warner "You just have to love it: Senator John Warner helped kill the debate on Bush’s surge, voting to block a vote on his own Warner-Levin Iraq War Resolution: ..."

• Bellicose Bush "I’ve finally figured out George Dubya’s philosophy: If you can’t solve a problem, make it bigger: ..."

• Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview "Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it: ..."

• Bush On The Couch; Dub On The Divan "Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview. ..."

• "A Way Forward?" To Where, Exactly?

• Ode To Diminished Expectations
  " Unanimous yeses for Gates,
  Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes. ..."

• Dub's Shriveling ... Coalition
  "George Dubya's Iraq coalition
  Is suff'ring from major attrition. ..."

• A Rep From Ohio Named Jean -- Limerick
  "A Rep from Ohio named Jean
  Called John Murtha a coward. How mean! ..."

• Some Say That Reid's Act Was A Stunt -- Limerick
  "Some say that Reid's act was a stunt,
  Just a rude and unfair Frist affront..."

• Ode To Cindy Sheehan
  "The mother of a soldier dead
  Has Dubya running scared.
  Her very name fills Bush with dread.
  Face Sheehan? Dub don't dare..."

• War? What War?
  "The war on terror's going bad,
  So what's a Prez to do?
  He simply calls it something else.
  The "struggle" has debuted..."

• Two Limericks about Rove and Bush
  "Some say that Karl Rove should apologize,
  Cause he slandered the Dems with derisive lies..."

• Dubya's Democracy Occupation
  "Democracy cannot succeed,
  Said Dubya with a glower.
  In countries that are occupied
  By mean old foreign powers..."

• Dupe-Meister Dub
  "Dubya's modus operandi
  Has become quite clear.
  Conj'ring up a looming crisis
  And inciting deep fear...."

• Halliburton Blows
  "Dick's fav'rite co
  Has blown another job.
  Losing stuff's their mo,
  When they dare not rob..."

• Hail To The Hawks
  "Religious talk
  Of morals and faith
  Spews forth from hawks,
  Engendering hate..."

• But Does He Like Naked Statues? -- Limerick
  "The Geneva Conventions are quaint,
  Said Gonzales. A scholar, he ain't..."

• Yet Another Anti-Bush Poem
  "Lost explosives -- many tons.
  Feeling safer anyone?
  Bush forgot to mind the store.
  Must not give him four years more..."

• Ode To The August PDB
  "When Condoleezza Rice speaks out
  Does anybody buy her?
  It's hard to fathom how she fumbled warnings, oh so dire..."

• Dubya's Poetic Injustice
  "A humble foreign policy,
  Bush promised way back when.
  Then wages war preemptively.
  For bloodshed Dubya yens..."

• General Boykin's Ballad
  "We're at war against Satan?
  A startling idea!
  That explains all the hatin'
  And mongering fear."

• Press Filter Follies (Dubya's Anti-Media Poem)
  "An evil filter is the press.
  They lie and say Iraq's a mess.
  Though things are going great down there,
  You'll never hear it on the air."

• The Rummy Poem Slate Missed
  "Don Rumsfeld wants some muting
  Of news that he's disputing
  And photos he's refuting,
  Cause we've won every fray..."

• Disinfo Ode
  "Are we being misled
  By reporters embed
  Spewing info spoon-fed?
  Is the truth being shred..."

• Why Is General Petraeus Letting The White House Write His Iraq Progress Report? (Poll) "Do you think the long-awaited General David H. Petraeus’s Iraq surge report will “see” as much “tangible progress” as Petraeus claimed to see in the election-influencing op ed he wrote for the Washington Post back on September 26, 2004? ..."

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