Trump Election Blame Game (Limerick)

November 12th, 2024

The Dems and the press-folk are keen
On playing a blame game, obscene.
But they’re missing the point
In their haste to anoint
A fall guy: Most voters are mean!

My Post-Election Feed (Limerick)

November 9th, 2024

On Facebook, wherever I look,
I see posts penned by folks who are shook.
They’re depressed, just like me.
Not one whisper of glee!
Well, at least I’ve blocked fans of the CROOK!

Election Grief (Limerick)

November 7th, 2024

Both my heart and my mind can’t stop achin’;
Human decency’s vanquished, forsaken.
Trump’s so clearly depraved,
That I thought we’d be saved,
But the virtuous path was not taken.

Open Limerick To Trump Voters

November 6th, 2024

Dear Trump Voters: You surely must know
That he’s ruthless; it’s NOT just for show.
Yet despite, or because
Of his numerous flaws,
You’ve elected Democracy’s Foe.

Election Anxiety (Limerick)

November 4th, 2024

Election Day’s here and I’m tense.
My fear of a Trump win’s immense.
I keep telling myself:
“Stick your angst on some shelf;
Voters surely can NOT be THAT dense!”

What Happens In The Booth, Stays In The Booth (Limerick)

October 31st, 2024

This limerick was inspired by Kamala Harris’s latest ad, voiced by Julia Roberts.

Dear Gals: Secret votes are your right!
So PLEASE don’t vote “Trump” out of fright.
“Yes” your spouse, if you must,
But support who you trust…
And give voice to your choice in this fight.

Trump’s Message (Limerick)

October 29th, 2024

“Stay on message,” Trump’s people advise.
But its essence is hatred and lies.
It’s divisive and crude,
Racist, fascist, and lewd–
A clear message sane folks should despise.

Non-Endorsement Turmoil (Limerick)

October 27th, 2024

The great Post has been sullied by fear.
Give that cowardly Bezos a jeer!
WaPo planned to endorse
VP Harris, of course.
But Jeff quashed it and kissed Donald’s rear.

Trump’s BS Bibles (Limerick)

October 9th, 2024

The Donald faults China and trade.
“Huge tariffs,” he cries, “must be paid.”
“They steal jobs from our nation,”
He rants to ovation.
But THAT’s where Trump’s Bibles are made.

No, I am NOT making this up. Here’s a quote from CBS News:

“Thousands of Donald Trump’s “God Bless the USA” Bibles — sold for $59.99 each — were printed in a country that the former president has frequently accused of engaging in unfair trade practices and stealing American jobs: China.”

Our Supreme Problem (3-Verse Limerick)

October 8th, 2024

My latest 3-verse limerick was inspired by a CNN article that included this paragraph: “Roberts was shaken by the adverse public reaction to his decision affording Trump substantial immunity from criminal prosecution. His protestations that the case concerned the presidency, not Trump, held little currency.”

Poor John Roberts is in a deep funk;
His beloved court’s stature has shrunk.
And it’s largely his fault
For harsh rulings that halt
Basic rights. He’s a punk and a skunk.

About justice his court doesn’t care.
There’s no effort to ever be fair.
It treats stare decisis
Like trash. We’ve a crisis;
Sound rulings are brutally rare!

So if Roberts is sad, fine by me!
For the court must be changed. You agree?
Then be sure to vote Dem.
No more hawing. Don’t hem!
It’s the one way to stem the debris.

Limerick Ode to Donald “Protector of Women” Trump

September 28th, 2024

Washington Post Headline: “Trump in Pa.: Digressions, threats and vows to be ‘protector’ of women”

The “Protector of Women” — that’s me,
Proclaims Trump. Just elect me; you’ll see.
Yes, the man who destroyed
Roe v. Wade seems annoyed
That we long to be Donald Trump-free.

How absurd that a sexual abuser,
One who often defames his accuser,
Now audaciously claims
He’ll protect all the dames
If he wins. Let’s make sure he’s the LOSER!

Trump & Vance v. The Haitians (3-Verse Limerick)

September 21st, 2024

“In Ohio, they’re eating the cats!
They are eating the pets,” yell the rats,
Known as Donald and Vance,
Harming Haitians with rants;
Racist lies told by cads in red hats.

When informed it’s not true, they both sneer
And continue repeating their smear,
Cuz they really don’t care
If there’s pet-eating there.
Told to cease and desist, they just jeer.

“You’re endangering innocent folk,”
They’re advised, but to Trump that’s a joke;
Donald’s fans gets their highs
From enjoying Trump’s lies.
Give up lying? No, THAT would be “WOKE!”

Trump v. Taylor Swift (Limerick)

September 16th, 2024

Spoiled brat, cry-baby Trump actually posted this on his money-bleeding, inaptly named Truth Social: “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!”

On Truth Social, The Donald lashed out;
A failed effort to weaponize clout.
His “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!”
Angered Swifties. They’re miffed!
Quite the gift for the VEEP from that lout!

“Prizefighter” Trump Claims Kamala Harris Lost The Fight (Limerick)

September 15th, 2024

Trump’s pretending he won the debate,
Citing polls (non-existent) that rate
Him the winner by lots.
(Were they written by bots?)
Dotty Don can’t face up to his fate.

Open Limerick To Kamala Harris

September 12th, 2024

Dear Veep Harris, I thank you for winning
And demolishing Trump. I’m still grinning!
On the eve of my birthday,
You gave me a mirth day…
Watching bait-taking Trump lose each inning.

JD Vance’s Childcare Plan (Limerick)

September 8th, 2024

Headline: “JD Vance’s plan to lower childcare costs: have grandma and grandpa ‘help a little bit more'”

JD Vance has a fabulous plan
To reduce childcare costs. What a man!
It’s not tax breaks or grants:
Just cry “Help!” to the aunts,
Uncles, granddads, and each weary gran.

The Media’s Mistake (Limerick)

September 7th, 2024

This New Republic column inspired my latest limerick: “How the Media Sanitizes Trump’s Insanity”

Dear Political Press, please take note:
Stop reframing Trump’s rants; use a quote!
No more rend’ring coherent
His spewings aberrant;
Cease helping him skew how folks vote!

Trump’s “Genius” Speeches (3-Verse Limerick)

September 5th, 2024

So…, you know all those oddball rally rants about wind and bacon, sharks and electrocution, “Alphonse” Capone, and the “late, great Hannibal Lecter?” According to Trump, he’s doing the “weave,” which makes him an oratorical genius:

Trump’s meandering salad linguistic
Is (to Donald) a “weave” — his euphuistic,
Novel term for confusing
And logic-abusing
Addresses. (Turns out they’re artistic!)

Trump’s digressions, he says, all make sense;
They are woven with brilliance intense.
He defies expectations
With dazzling orations.
Seems the Donald’s a “genius” immense.

So the next time you hear Donald speak,
Do not call him off-script or oblique.
With his language command,
He’s the best in the land;
A true maestro of flapping his beak.

Trump’s Poll Obsession (Limerick)

August 27th, 2024

In a call-in to Fox News, Trump argued with Martha MacCallum about the polls:

When Ms. MacCallum observed, accurately, that Ms. Harris was “having some success” with women, Hispanic and Black voters, Mr. Trump objected. “She’s not having success; I’m having success,” he said. “I’m doing great with the Hispanic voters, doing great with Black men, I’m doing great with women.”

“It’s only in your eyes that they have that, Martha,” he added. “We are doing very well.”

Hence, this limerick:

Trump obsessively follows each poll,
And bad numbers are taking their toll.
When he’s bested, he’s pissed.
I’m ahead, he’ll insist.
Don-OLD’s poll-envy’s out of control.

Trump’s Woman-Problem (Limerick)

August 24th, 2024

NY Times Headline: “On Truth Social, Donald Trump Tries to Refashion Himself as Supportive of Abortion Rights”

As his poll numbers fade, Trump’s dismayed,
So the felon who wrecked Roe v. Wade,
Now is feigning support
For the right to abort.
Too late Don-OLD! By CHOICERS you’re NAYED!