During the past week, I've read a slew of
posts and
columns about
ournewly"de-swaggerfied" (shouldn't that be a word?)
President.
Here's how I'd sum up Bush (and Rove's) post-Katrina angst:
It's Another Bush Crisis By Madeleine Begun Kane
It's another Bush crisis,
And day after day,
Dub's stooges are spinning,
While Bush says, "let's pray."
He is not on vacation.
He's handling affairs.
We know that from photos
That show Dubya cares.
Bush's numbers are tumbling.
It's clear that he's failed.
But Karl is determined
To Dub un-derail.
So we'll keep hearing speeches
That try to shirk blame,
And win back the voters,
Who fell for Dub's game.
But for once it ain't working.
The scam's falling flat.
Most voters have noticed
That Dub's a spoiled brat.
September 28, 2005 (Tom DeLay Indictment Haiku; Tom DeLay Song Parody Revisited)
I sure hope this haiku isn't premature:
DeLay's indictment.
Long awaited by lib'rals.
The delay'sover.
In any event, revisiting my Ode To Tom DeLay song parody, which I wrote last March, seems appropriate. Here's how it begins:
Ode To Tom DeLay (Sing to "To All The Girls I've Loved Before")
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A Rep whose name is Tom DeLay,
He breaks the rules most ev'ry day.
He don't respect the law,
Thinks ethics are a bore.
'Tis time to show him crime don't pay.
Tom practices dishonesty.
Ignores the law with joy and glee.
Misused the FBI,
Golf junkets on the sly,
How 'bout we stop his crim'nal spree...
But Friday's email brought me a reminder of my oversight -- a letter from former Governor Howard Dean, urging people to
speak out against Roberts. Dean's letter says in part:
... Some people even say that it's useless for us to speak out against him. They say we're wasting our time.
But how will we win any battle if we don't stand up for what we believe and speak the truth? More importantly, how will Americans know what to expect from a Democratic Congress and Democratic president if we don't fight for our values at every opportunity?
And now, my nearly forgotten poem:
Why Bother? By Madeleine Begun Kane
Judge John Roberts' confirmation
Is a certainty, it's true.
We're powerless to stop it.
Yes, no matter what we do.
But to those who say it's futile,
Making fun of things I rue,
I say it feels essential,
And that you should do it too.
Reid said that there are "too many unanswered questions about the nominee to justify a vote confirming him to this enormously important lifetime position." But while Roberts was certainly unforthcoming throughout his hearings, we actually know something about nominee Roberts that, in and of itself, justifies both a "no" vote and a filibuster. I'm referring to
Roberts' serious ethical breach in failing to recuse himself from the three judge panel hearing the Hamdan v. Rumsfeld appeal, while interviewing for a Supreme Court nomination.
The United States is a party to that case, which concerns the constitutionality of Gitmo military tribunals. So it was a conflict of interest for Judge Roberts to interview for a presidential appointment while that appeal was pending before him. As TalkLeft points out,judicial ethics and 28 U.S.C. § 455 mandated recusal. And that brings me to my Mr. Propriety limerick:
Mr. Propriety? By Madeleine Begun Kane
Judge Roberts is a fan of propriety,
And maintaining his impartiality.
Yet on Hamdan he ruled.
Does he take us for fools?
His action's the height of hypocrisy.
When I heard that President Bush was still refusing to raise taxes
or change his death-to-the-death-tax position, I figured Bush was planning to fund the Gulf Coast region's astronomical recovery costs with Monopoly money. But apparently, Bush has an even better idea:
slash domestic programs that have already been cut to the bone. And that, of course, brings me to today's limerick:
Rebuilder-in-Chief By Madeleine Begun Kane
George Bush said he'll Gulf Coast rebuild
In a speech that was platitude filled.
And he'll do it with cash
From fine programs he'll slash.
And for that, we're supposed to be thrilled?
I spent the better part of Tuesday listening to the Judge John RobertsU.S. Supreme Court confirmation hearings.
Unfortunately, I don't know much more about the judge's positions now, than I did before the Judiciary Committee started questioning him. But on the other hand, Judge Roberts' performance did inspire two limericks:
Though Judge Roberts Is Getting A Hearing By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though Judge Roberts is getting a hearing,
To measure his outlook and bearing,
He's determined to hide
Views that Dems can't abide.
His convictions he simply ain't sharing.
Judge John Roberts Is Smooth And Quite Smart By Madeleine Begun Kane
Judge John Roberts is smooth and quite smart.
Unlike Bork, he's not testy or tart.
But we still do not know
What he'll do about Roe.
He's declined to his viewpoint impart.
Throughout the evening. I dragged sundry bloggers (and the occasional blogger spouse) to the back of Julia's yard for -- hey, get your mind out of the gutter -- mini-interviews with them. Here's the first of two audio batches. (I'll post the second batch Wednesday.)
Before I get to my limericks. I want to congratulate my good pal Skippy for getting his Skippy Challengementioned on CNN. What's the Skippy Challenge? It's a Katrina relief drive in which Skippy
urges political bloggers to donate to the Red Cross (or any other charity) any dollar amount plus 1 cent "to let everyone know that the donations came from blogtopia." I just contributed $200.01 to the Red Cross and I hope you'll make a donation too.
And now it's time for my FEMA limericks:
The FEMA Head Michael D. Brown By Madeleine Begun Kane
The FEMA head Michael D. Brown
Helped cause thousands to suffer and drown.
Now he's dodging the blame.
Who's at fault? Val'rie Plame?
Let's throw Dubya and Brown out of town.
Bush Is Fond Of Political Hacks By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bush is fond of political hacks.
He don't care what credentials they lack.
When they crim'nally flop,
He congrats them nonstop.
While Rove launches a fall guy attack.
Some Say That George Bush Should Brown Fire By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some say that George Bush should Brown fire,
For his failures at FEMA quite dire.
But that's not how it works
When your Prez is a jerk.
I'll bet Dubya gives Brown a post higher.
A Broadcasting Preacher Named Pat By Madeleine Begun Kane
A broadcasting preacher named Pat,
Who quite frequently talks through his hat,
Seems to think it's God's will
That we Prez Chavez kill.
Then we'll take all his oil, and that's that.
There Once Was A Man Named Pat Boone By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a man named Pat Boone,
A quite wholesome non-rocker who crooned.
Now he's spouting hot air,
Slamming folks anti-guerre.
Are all fellows named Pat crazy loons?
Reader Dub By Madeleine Begun Kane
Who cares what Dubya claims to read:
The history of salt?
Plus tomes on flu and Alex II
What nonsense! Oy Gevalt!
Bush Vacation Haiku By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bush on vacation.
So can you tell the diff'rence?
DC less toxic.
Will Cindy Sheehan's Crawford encampment prove to be a tipping point? Will her Texas standoff with George Bush inspire an antiwar activism growth spurt? The answer to both questions is a definite maybe. But whatever happens, we owe Cindy Sheehan a debt of gratitude, and I owe her this Ode:
Ode To Cindy Sheehan By Madeleine Begun Kane
The mother of a soldier dead
Has Dubya running scared.
Her very name fills Bush with dread.
Face Sheehan? Dub don't dare.
She's camped outside Dub's pseudo-ranch,
In Crawford's daunting heat.
Her mission's clear: She will not leave
Till she and Dubya meet.
An inspiration to us all,
This gal has guts to spare.
She speaks out for the troops that fall,
While Bush hides in his lair.
She needs to find a reason why
Her son's alive no more.
Like many, she just doesn't buy
Dub's reasons for this war.
Sorry for my long silence! My mother-in-law was hit by a cab shortly after my last post, so my online time has been very limited. (She's out of danger now, but has a broken pelvis, cracked ribs, etc.)
George Dubya sure loves to vacation,
And his workout time Dub rarely rations.
He likes recesses too,
For the power imbued
To name refuse to wreck our fine nation.
Novak Sacked? By Madeleine Begun Kane
The pundit who blew Val Plame's cover,
And who's far from a Democrat lover
Lost his cool on TV.
First he curses, then flees.
Now his CNN gig may be over.
Lame Duckitude Revisited By Madeleine Begun Kane
They say that George Dub's a lame duck,
That he's finally run out of luck.
But he keeps signing laws
That are chock full of flaws.
Lame Duck Dubya's still running amuck.
I've finally figured out why the Bush administration didn't bother to properly equip our soldiers in Iraq: We're not fighting a war -- we're in a "struggle." And who needs body armor and armored vehicles for a measly struggle?
As AmericaBlog points out, last week was a brutal week for jobs, with huge job cut reports from HP, Kodak, and Kimberly-Clark, plus news that Ford is "considering" cutting 10,500 jobs. So it seems like a good time to post (and record) my humorous how-to about job hunting, Working Stiffed:
Working Stiffed By Madeleine Begun Kane
Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you'll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the "living for the weekend" daily grind.
1. Lose job.
2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It's best to do this at home -- you'll be wanting that reference.
3. Torture everyone you've ever met with your tale of woe. Bitch about your former boss, your boss' boss, your lousy luck, the manipulative coworker who stole your job, the economy, and, of course, the world as we know it. Seriously consider buying a voodoo doll.
4. Perfect the art of sleeping late, parading about in slatternly garb, and doing absolutely nothing. Tell your spouse you spent the entire week working on your resume. When spouse says "Let me have a look," say you're still fine-tuning it.
I've been duped. Everything I read Tuesday afternoon about Bush's
then upcoming prime time address, convinced me that George Bush would be naming Judge Edith Clement to replace Justice O'Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court. And I was far from the only lefty
who expected Judge Clementto be Bush's choice. Of course, I'm probably the only one who wrote the decoy judge a limerick.
I was planning to delete my Clement verse, but I figure I'll share it with you instead. Cause why waste a decent, albeit moot, limerick?
Moot Court Limerick By Madeleine Begun Kane
Edith Clement, a New Orleans jurist,
Is a hard right-wing, fed'ralist purist.
As O'Connor's replacement,
She'd be a debasement.
Let's reduce her to Washington tourist.
Since I was reading about the wrong candidate all day, I don't know much about Judge John Roberts, Bush's real nominee. But I wouldn't let a little thing like that stop me from versifying:
Prime Time Distraction By Madeleine Begun Kane
In an effort at changing the subject,
From Bush staffers like Rove who are suspect,
Dub on prime time proclaimed
That he's John Roberts named.
If you like right-wing judges, he's perfect.
Ode To O'Connor By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a Justice O'Connor,
The first Sup Court Judge called "Her Honor."
Now O'Connor's resigned,
Putting Dems in a bind.
At least Rehnquist is still not a goner.
Warrior Dub's Anthem (Sing to Strangers In The Night, by Singleton/Snyder/Kaempfert)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bush didn't pick this fight,
But he shall win it.
We must show our might.
That's how he spins it.
Bush is in the right,
Cause Dubya speaks to God.
Those who disagree
Are evil traitors.
They'd back down with glee.
They're freedom haters.
We must wait and see.
The U.S. shall prevail.
Don't misunderstand.
We're gonna win this.
We shall save our great Homeland.
Yes, any minute.
True, we've had some awful blows.
But Georgie Dubya knows,
Victory's assured someday.
He can't say when.
Just keep the faith.
Ever since that day,
Yes, Nine-Eleven.
Bush has shown the way
To get to heaven.
Terrorists will pay.
Don't buy it? Are you gay?
Don't believe the press.
We're gonna win this,
Cause the U.S. is the best.
We'll beat the terr'ists.
Though the struggle is quite hard,
Our win is in the cards.
Victory's assured one day
Support the Prez and pray, pray, pray!
We must stay the course.
We're making progress.
Give George Dub support,
And show some patience.
It's a Godly war.
And it's worth dying for.
Rah, rah U.S.A.
George Dubya's righteous.
We'll prevail some day.
No one can beat us.
Dems who dare say nay,
Our nation do betray.
Have really lost their way
Must suffer sans delay.
On Friday night, hubby Mark and I attended a delightful blogger bash at Julia's. Fun was had by all, although I must disclose that the guest of honor and another guest had suspiciously French-sounding names. Nonetheless, I think our fête deserves its own song parody lyrics, which I will get to in a moment. But first, two limericks:
Some Say That Karl Rove Should Apologize By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some say that Karl Rove should apologize,
Cause he slanderedthe Dems with derisive lies. Will he yield? I think not.
Cause his speech was a plot
To distract us from failure and war unwise.
Bush And Cheney Send Soldiers To War By Madeleine Begun Kane
Nielsen Haydens graced the party.
So did Robin,Seth, and Lindsay. A wonderful time,
We had Friday night,
At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.
Julia's husband cooked and grilled up chicken.
And her charming daughter picked fresh fruit.
Chatter touched on all but Michael Milken.
And everybody had a laugh-filled hoot.
Later on, street fare beckoned.
Honeyed treats, Greek, I reckon.
An ethnic food time, we had Friday night,
At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.
Scott Lemieux came and Randy. All had fun! Ain't that dandy?
A wonderful time,
We had Friday night,
At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.
Wives and husbands attended.
No one wanted us to end it.
But leave that repast,
We did at long last.
Festive Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.
New York lib'ral bloggers we have plenty.
When we gather, we sure have a blast.
Maybe we are not the cognoscenti.
But when it comes to fun, we're unsurpassed.
I can't wait, for the next one.
We'll again, meet in person.
But till that takes place,
We'll meet in blog space.
In our lib'ral bloggers wonderland.
But getting back to the Bolton nomination, it's time for my latest limerick:
The Doctor Turned Senator Bill By Madeleine Begun Kane
The doctor turned Senator Bill,
Said John Bolton's appointment was killed.
But then Bush buttonholed him,
Demanding John Bolton.
Now Bill claims that appointment's just ill.
And speaking of audio, congratulations to my good pal Skippy,who's about to celebrate his third blogiversary.
Please help him celebrate by tuning in to his entertaining radio interview, in which he
"rambles and rants about everything from the downing street minutes to ayn rand and putting christ back into christianity, with plenty of bark, lark and on the mark snark..."
