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Madeleine Begun Kane,
Humor Columnist,

Madeleine Begun Kane


Cheney Misfires Big Time & Other Dick Cheney Humor


  • In The Year 2000
    "In the Year 2000,
    A man named Dub
    Stole our Prez election,
    Treated Dems like schlubs..."

  • Bush and Cheney Horrorland Song Parody (to be sung to "Winter Wonderland")
    "People die, for no reason.
    People starve, 'tis the season.
    A terrible blight,
    Each night after night,
    In the Bush and Cheney Horrorland..."

  • Georgie Dub
    "Georgie Dub still won't divulge
    The truth behind that telltale bulge..."

  • Yet Another Anti-Bush Poem
    "Lost explosives -- many tons.
    Feeling safer anyone?
    Bush forgot to mind the store.
    Must not give him four years more..."

  • Mary Cheney-nigans
    "Feigning righteous indignation,
    Rightwing zealots spout and yell..."

  • Sinclair's Limerick
    "A media co. named Sinclair,
    Has decreed that its stations must air..."

  • Battle of the Debate Bulge Limerick
    "Some think that George Dubya was wired,
    While debates with John Kerry transpired..."

  • The Education President Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs")
    "Bush promised parents that he'd fix our schools.
    That he'd make sure their children didn't turn out fools.
    But all the teachers got were lots of rules..."

  • Cheney v. Edwards Limericks
    "There once was a Veep named Dick,
    Whose actions made liberals sick..."

  • Top Secret Debate Contract Addendum "As most people know by now, President Bush and Senator Kerry have signed on to a 32 page debate agreement. But few are aware that they also signed a secret addendum to that agreement. Fortunately, has an exclusive copy of that secret addendum, provided by a DC insider whom I will identify only as Debate Throat..."

  • Ode To John Edwards a/k/a The Trial Lawyers Song (to be sung to "Moon River")
    "Trial lawyers
    Go that extra mile,
    To see that all those vile
    Guys pay..."

  • Sore Loser Limerick
    "There once was a man named George Dub,
    Who debated and mis'rably flubbed..."

  • Shipping Bush/Cheney Back Home (to be sung to "The Caissons Go Rolling Along")
    "On the Hill, on the dale,
    Kerry/Edwards will not fail.
    We'll be shipping Bush/Cheney back home..."

  • Cheney's E-Bray
    "Be happy and be gay.
    It's a fabulous new day.
    Things are A-okay.
    Cause you're trading on eBay..."

  • "W" Stands For What?
    "W" stands for "wrong,"
    Says Kerry on the stump.
    But some give "wrong" a gong,
    And say it should be dumped..."

  • Mass Distraction
    "A Massachusetts Liberal
    They call him with a hiss.
    For wingnuts could there ever be
    A better Kerry diss..."

  • Odes to the "Zellot"
    "There once was a turncoat named Zell,
    Whose soul to George Bush he did sell..."

  • Oust George Bush Song Parody (to be sung to "Five Foot Two" a/k/a "Has Anybody Seen My Gal?")
    It's time to oust them from DC.
    Evict George Bush and all his pals..."

  • The GOP Hits New York Song Parody (to be sung to "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")
    "The GOP bash will soon be here.
    Oh, no! Oh, no!
    Won't give 'em a hearty welcome cheer.
    Oh, no! Oh, no..."

  • Daily News Haiku I've created a news haiku page where I'll be archiving all the current events related haiku posted on my Notables Weblog.

  • Dub & Dick's Limerick
    "George Dub has a Veep named Dick Cheney.
    Next to Dub he appears rather brainy..."

  • Ode to Our Misleader
    "We have a misleader named George.
    On power and lies he does gorge..."

  • Dick's The Ticket
    "Dick Cheney's Halliburton teamed
    With evil axis, mad regimes,
    To make big bucks while Dick was CEO.

    Now Cheney lies and feigns and schemes..."

  • Cheney Cheney! I've written so much Dick Cheney humor -- two fake interviews, two song parodies, & a couple of poems -- I figured he deserved his own special page. And so it's time to Cheney Cheney!

  • Dub's Dream "A dictatorship would be easier, Bush has said in jest..."

  • Dubya's Plea
    "Our Bishops need to do much more
    To safeguard all that's good,
    Said Dubya to the Pope when Dub
    Was in the neighborhood..."

  • Dump Bush Song (to be sung to "Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush")
    "We must defeat George W. Bush,
    George W. Bush, George W. Bush.
    We must defeat George W. Bush.
    Vote Kerry this November..."

  • Mis-Education President
    Bush swore he'd leave no child behind,
    A very worthy goal.
    Instead, he left the states a great big budgetary hole..."

  • Alpha Politics
    "A" is for John Ashcroft and the liberties he's mauled.
    "B" is for Barb Bush and hub. Dub's birth is all their fault.
    "C" is for Ms. Condi Rice, who speaks so many lies.
    "D" is for the Dixie Chicks, who dare to Bush despise..."

  • Fact-Free Bush (to be sung to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain")
    "When the facts get in the way you change the facts,
    And when facts get in the way, give facts the ax.
    When the facts get in the way,
    When the facts get in the way,
    When the facts get in the way you change the facts..."

  • Hires An Ombudsman For years I've been flooded with emails challenging the accuracy of At first I did what most publications do -- I ignored them. But as time went by, I realized that something had to be done. So in keeping with recent trends and in the interest of sound journalism, I've appointed an ombudsman who'd like to be known only as "Bud." Here is Bud's first report...

  • Education Humor A collection of my education humor columns and cartoons, including columns about the GMAT, music lessons, and drivers ed plus comic strips about Education Secretary Rod Paige and Bush's academic record.

  • Political Dish Crossword Puzzle (Interactive)

  • AWOL Jobs
    "Our jobs are disappearing
    To nations far and wide.
    While Dubya has no plan at all
    To stem this risky tide..."

  • Ralph & Rove "It looks like Ralph Nader is poised to announce another run. I guess he found this email persuasive:
    Subject: What will it take? ..."

  • Parody Interview with Vice President Dick Cheney (2004) For some inexplicable reason, VP Richard Cheney returns for a second spoof interview.

  • State of the Disunion Crossword Puzzle (Interactive)

  • Dubya's Poetic Injustice
    "A humble foreign policy,
    Bush promised way back when.
    Then wages war preemptively.
    For bloodshed Dubya yens..."

  • 2nd Annual Dubya Quote Quiz Can you tell the difference between a satirical Dubya quote and the real enchilada? Take the second annual Dubya Quote Quiz and see.

  • Oh, What A Mis'rable Failure (to be sung to "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" from "Oklahoma")
    "There's a right wingnut based in the White House.
    End that right wingnut's stay in the White House.
    His lies are piled high as an elephant's eye,
    And it looks like they're climbin' clear up to the sky..."

  • Satirical Poetry Page. To make it easier to find my funny poems about politics, the media, and other topics, I've created this poetry page.

  • Dubya's Don't Blame Me Song (to be sung to "Good King Wenceslas")
    "I didn't do it. Not my fault!
    Maybe 'twas some sailor.
    Banners ain't my thing at all.
    I was with my tailor..."

  • The Spinning Song (to be sung to "Spinning Wheel" by David Clayton Thomas -- Blood, Sweat & Tears)
    "Down is up. Up is down.
    Spinners wield lies that confound.
    Claimin' that our troubles really prove: We win!
    Spreadin' Bush baloney, Dubya smirks as he spins...."

  • The Traitorgate Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs" by Barry Manilow)
    "The scandal started with a Niger lie
    About nuke matter Saddam never did buy.
    But Dubya would not let that falsehood die.
    It's Traitorgate, it's Traitorgate..."

  • The Traitor Tune (to be sung to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain")
    "If you criticize the White House, you're a fool.
    Nothing more than an Al Qaeda pal and tool.
    If you criticize the White House,
    If you criticize the White House,
    If you criticize the White House, you're a fool..."

  • Yellow Bush of Texas (To be sung to "Yellow Rose of Texas")
    "There's a yellow Bush in Texas, that's where he loves to be.
    Where Dub can dodge the media, evading scrutiny.
    He cries so when he leaves there, it nearly breaks his heart..."

  • Bush Misleads (To be sung to "Let It Be")
    "We must drive ourselves in times of trouble.
    Mustn't tarry, must be free.
    We shall work to oust him. Bush misleads..."

  • Democrats' Anthem: Election 2004 (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind")
    "How many wars must a President start
    Without any reason at all?
    How much ill will must a President cause
    Until he at last takes the fall?
    How many wars must a President launch
    Because he is greedy for oil?
    The answer my friend is dump Republicans.
    The answer is dump Republicans...."

  • All I Want Is A New Regime (To be sung to "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady")
    "All I want is a new regime,
    In the White House a brand new team,
    From ear to ear I'd beam,
    Aow, wouldn't it be loverly..."

  • Election News Alert "Health care professionals throughout the United States are bracing for a severe outbreak of National Election Withdrawal Syndrome..."

  • Ms. LegalPerson Tries To Explain Election 2000 "Ms. LegalPerson is happy to report that Tuesday's Presidential election is over and that Gore ... no ... Bush ... no ... Gore ... no ... Bush ... no.... Hmmm, better begin again in the "do over" spirit that's overtaken the U.S. media. Here goes: Ms. LegalPerson is happy to report that Tuesday is history. Tuesday's election, however, may never end..."

  • Great Math Divide Every time I open a newspaper or surf the Web, there's another poll trying to predict who will be our next President. But are the pollsters asking the right questions? I'm convinced that when push comes to lever pull..."

  • A Kiss Before Speechifying "Actually, I was trying to send a message to Tipper." So said Vice President Al Gore, when asked if he was trying to send a message to the country with the Gores' nationally televised smooch on the final evening of the Democratic National Convention. For some reason I can't quite grasp, people are making a big deal about the not quite X-rated kiss Al gave Tipper right before he began his nomination acceptance speech...

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