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Madeleine Begun Kane,
Humor Columnist,

Madeleine Begun Kane

Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor


Are you in the mood to take a trip? You might change your mind after reading these humor columns and limericks. I hope you'll enjoy all the travel humor columns, vacation and tourist humor, limericks, and light verse by Madeleine Begun Kane.

  • Does The “Knee Defender” Have Legs? (Limerick) "After reading about the “Knee Defender” scuffle on board a United Airlines flight, I just had to write a limerick..."

  • Limerick Ode To Aviaton Day
    "On this day, aviation shines bright;
    Brother Orville, a father of flight..."

  • Happy National Maritime Day
    "A queasy man, drawn to the sea,
    Being lured by its lore made a plea..."

  • Man In Flight
    "A fellow with bus’ness in Rome
    Ended up on a plane ride to Nome. ..."

  • Time's "Flight"
    "It is said that “time flies,” but that’s wrong,
    Cuz the flights I’ve been on take too long. ..."

  • Homing Limerick
    "I may travel and wander and roam.
    For adventure, the streets I may comb. ..."

  • Cruising For Laughs
    "I learned some valuable lessons during the second annual Lewis Black Comedy Cruise: ..."

  • Diversion Verse
    "A pilot with coffee needs skills
    To captain his plane without spills. ..."

  • My New Policy "That’s it. No more vacations! Sounds a little extreme, I know. But strange things tend to happen when my husband and I have the nerve to travel or take time off. ..."

  • Ode To JetBlue (Limerick) “We’re back from a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas. So I thought I’d celebrate our thirteen hour return-flight delay with a limerick: ...”

  • A Traveler's Net Woes "If your husband ever invites you to join him on a business trip, be sure to ask him these questions:
       1. Will you ever get to see him while he is not -- technically -- asleep?
       2. What will he do, if you accidentally lock yourself out of your hotel room in the middle of the night while you are not -- technically -- dressed? ..."

  • Vacation Verse
    "My husband is swimming outdoors.
    I expect he’ll be back when it pours, ..."

  • How To Plan A Trip "A weekend trip is a splendid way to replenish your energy and deplete your bank account..."

  • Taking A Vacation on the Contract Plan "Planning a vacation can often be a daunting challenge. Especially when one spouse likes to rough it and the other prefers luxuries like toilets, showers, and cable TV. So what's a couple to do? Well, they can take separate trips. Or they can negotiate and sign on the dotted line..."

  • Tripped Up By Traveling (Limerick)
    "It’s outrageous, a rip-off, a gyp
    What we paid for that terrible trip. ..."

  • Traveling Baggage "Vacation travel. A time to relax, mellow out, let loose and forget your cares. To indulge yourself, boogie till dawn, gorge on gourmet fare. To spend an entire day shopping for a "must have" item you forgot to pack..."

  • Tubing Blues "Tubing - the masochistic act of hurtling down a fall-fraught river while clinging to an inner-tube. Somehow my husband Mark talked me, a devout wimp, into trying it..."

  • Airing My Airline Gripes (Limerick)
    “To travel by plane was once pleasant,
    But flying’s horrific at present. ..."

  • No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye (Limerick and Haiku)
    "I’m late and I can’t miss this train!
    It’s arrived, and I’m here, yet in vain: ..."

  • Can't Contain My Disgain For Luggage Rules "It’s hard to believe, but snow globes (even tiny ones) are a carry-on baggage no-no. ..."

  • Commuter Woes
    "There once was a fellow named Wayne
    Who commuted each day on the train. ...”

  • How To Visit An Art Museum "There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you're a novice art fan, this is how it's done:
    1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you're out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers..."

  • The Madness Is Back
    "I've been gone for two weeks.
    Did I miss something good?
    Didn't keep up with the news,
    Though I know that I should..."

  • New Yawkers Are Polite ... So There! "I'm a proud New Yorker, so I was pleased (and unsurprised) to read that a Reader's Digest poll ranks New York 'the most courteous major city in the world.'..."

  • Charge! (Limerick about money, travel and parenting.)

  • Surmounting Marriage "Before agreeing to marry my husband Mark, I asked him the usual questions..."

  • Going Topless "For months I resisted my husband Mark's vacation idea -- a Key West trip featuring a drive through the Keys in a rented convertible. I don't know about you, but I associate convertibles with youth and coolness. And as much as I hate to admit it, Mark and I are quite a bit beyond the former ... and seem to have skipped the latter..."

  • E-Mapping It Out "When my husband Mark suggested an impromptu trip to Long Island's East Hampton, I instinctively reached for a map. Then I remembered; we no longer own any maps. They were soaked beyond redemption in a flash flood that destroyed our car during our last impromptu trip. We replaced the car, but not the maps..."

  • Hazardous House-Guests "Has your country home been converted to an inn by people you scarcely know? Can friendship withstand a weekend stay with homeowners who long to be alone..."

  • When Guests Check In, But Their Cars Check Out "Sometimes a hotel stay doesn't go quite as smoothly as you'd like. I'm not talking about a room that isn't as nice or clean as you expected. I'm not even talking about lost reservations, a lousy view, or finding a dead body under your bed..."

  • Revel With A Clause "Your closest friends keep badgering you to join them on a trip. You're running out of excuses and may be forced to go along. Can friendship survive seven days of constant contact? Will you loathe each other by the time you return..."

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