Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor

I hope you enjoy my limericks and other light verse, so I welcome you to my funny poems, limericks, haiku, senryu, tanka, clerihews, framed couplets, cinquains, quaterns, double dactyls, and other humorous poetry by Madeleine Begun Kane.

• A Sax Tale
  "A blowhard musician named Rand
  Played sax (not too well) in a band..."

• Well-Endowed Limerick
  "A man got a look at the titty
  Of the well-endowed, lovely Miss Kitty..."

• Halloween Haiku (2012)
  "Though schools remain closed,
  trick-or-treat stash is untouched:
  Halloween Sandy..."

• Limerick Passion
  "About lim’ricks, I truly have passion,
  And I guess that is love, in a fashion..."

• Time Flies
  "'Time flies' is a popular phrase.
  So it does, and in frightening ways..."

• Mucked Up Music
  "I swear that this limerick is based on an actual news item: Artist makes music with bird droppings in Liverpool..."

• Dining Out Limerick
  "There are rest’rants that set a good mood
  And are great at adjusting your tude. ..."

• Limerick Dismay
  "A woman displayed her dismay
  At her pug, who refused to obey..."

• Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros
  "The rhino appears prehistoric,
  With a diet that’s vega-caloric...."

• Lusty Limerick
  "Kindly expedite. Speed is a must.
  Do it quick as you can — that’s my thrust. ..."

• Pompous Limerick
  "A pompous conductor named Clyde
  Was worshipped by fans far and wide...."

• Kick-Ass Limerick "The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s 'unpresidential' language. ..."

• Nevada’s Wingnut Angle "Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. ..."

• Infamous Limerick
  "An infamous author named Gene
  Was obnoxious and often obscene. ..."

• Haley’s Barbaric Attitude "Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has been downplaying the Gulf oil spill disaster, talking as if it’s a fictitious crisis created by the media. ..."

• Kirk’s “Factual” Quirks "It turns out that Mark Kirk’s problems with the truth go well beyond exaggerating his military resume. ..."

• Whimsical Limerick
  "A woman succumbed to a whim
  And enrolled in an overpriced gym. ..."

• Hatching Hypocrisy "Okay, so we have two Senatorial candidates who’ve pumped up their military records..."

• Panning Palin "Is speculation that Sarah Palin’s speaking career’s starting to crash and burn just wishful thinking? ..."

• Brassy Limerick
  "A brassy old woman named Joan
  Loves the trumpet, but hates the trombone. ..."

• Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross "Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has 'embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.' ..."

• Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon? "In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. ..."

• Operatic Limerick
  "An eccentric soprano named Brett
  Auditioned to sing at the Met. ..."

• Maine Mishigas "Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve? ..."

• Oily Obstruction "You’d think that, in the wake of the BP Gulf oil disaster, raising oil spill liability limits would be a no-brainer, even for Republicans. ..."

• A Dog Of A Limerick
  "A wealthy old woman named Kate
  Left her dog an enormous estate. ..."

• Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice "As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law. ..."

• Leery About Elena "Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. ..."

• Lush Limerick
  "A fellow who drank to excess
  Got to work in a state of undress: ..."

• Obama’s What??? "How amusing! We’ve moved from 'Obama’s Katrina' to 'Obama’s Harriet Miers.' ..."

• John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer? "My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. ..."

• Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No!
  "Attempting to watch World Cup soccer?
  Then you’re likely to go off your rocker: ..."

• Limerick Affairs
  "A fellow who had an affair
  Got caught by his lovely wife, Claire. ..."

• The Tenor Of Our Anniversary "My husband Mark and I had a wonderful time celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary on Friday, June 4th in Manhattan. ..."

• Creative Verse
  "A creative young woman named Ro
  Snagged a role in an Off-Broadway show. ..."

• American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized "Another American Idol season has come to a close and, once again, the wrong contestant won. Yes, the nervous guy, Lee DeWyze is the new American Idol, besting beating out the far superior singer, Crystal Bowersox. ..."

• Not-So-Clean Limerick
  "A fellow who hated to clean
  Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.) ..."

• Felonious Verse
  "An elderly woman named Ellen
  Was suspected of being a felon. ..."

• Nerdy Limerick
  "A hard-working fellow named Zeke
  Was thought of as rather a geek. ..."

• Criminal Ode
  "Some crimes are quite flagrantly blatant—
  Not subtle, nor secret, nor latent. ..."

• Limerick Ode To Kathleen Madigan "Saturday night hubby Mark and I went to see Kathleen Madigan perform in New York City’s Gramercy Theatre. ..."

• An Unmagical Night of Magic
  "David Copperfield’s show on the Strip—
  Neither clever, nor witty, nor hip. ..."

• Romantic Verse "I couldn’t let International Limerick Day go by without posting a new limerick prompt, could I? ..."

• Limerick Ode To Edward Lear "Mother’s Day isn’t this week’s only important holiday. What else is there? International Limerick Day, of course, which celebrates the May 12th birthday of Edward Lear. ..."

• Limerick Ode To Betty White
  "The comedy legend named White
  Hosted SNL Saturday night. ..."

• Just In Time For Mother's Day...
  "A hard-working mother named May
  Had three children and twins on the way. ..."

• Mad About LOVE "So here’s my love limerick to the Beatles-inspired Cirque du Soleil show LOVE. ..."

• Limerick Ode To Cher
  "The singer and actress named Cher
  Looks amazingly good nearly bare. ..."

• Miserly Limerick
  "A miserly fellow name Joe
  Was obsessed with his weekly cash flow. ..."

• Swimming In Verse
  "There once was a swimmer named Dean.
  He was swift and his breast stroke was mean. ..."

• Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
  "Great thanks to a judge I admire:
  Justice Stevens, alas, must retire. ..."

• Musical Chairs
  "A symphony cellist named Kate
  Shares her stand with a man, once her mate. ..."

• Republican “Patriots” "It’s amazing how many Republicans are rooting for Obama to fail..."

• Yet Another Limerick Ode To National Grammar Day

• Catty Limerick
  "There once was a kitty named Brad
  Whose attraction to catnip was rad. ..."

• Inflammatory Fleming "It’s bad enough to write an anti-Obama column packed with falsehoods about President Obama’s national security policy. ..."

• Taxing Deadlines (Limerick)

• Half-Baked Limerick
  "There once was a baker, Lenore,
  Who’d been baking three decades or more. ..."

• Unreal American Stories "I was glad to see that Sarah Palin’s Fox News Special did just so-so in the ratings. ..."

• Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain "Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly! ..."

• Senseless About The Census "Attention unhinged wingnuts: Obama’s Census illegally invades your privacy! ..."

• Don't Put These Limericks On Your Headstones
  "If your doc says, “Go under the knife.
  Only surgery’s saving your life.” ..."

• Liberal Drilling? Chill, Obama, Chill! "Like so many of my fellow progressives, I am dismayed by Obama’s plans to open offshore areas to oil drilling for the first time. ..."

• Rehab For Serial Wife-Cheating? Bullox! (Double Limerick) "I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying Jesse James’ (or Tiger Woods’) rehab ploy. ..."

• Political April Fools' Day April Fools' Day is coming up on April 1st, and you'll want to be prepared. After all, you don't want to fall victim to any political practical jokes. My latest limerick should help.

• Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused "Credit where credit is due: When it comes to self-contradiction, Mitt Romney is both fearless and peerless. ..."

• Chuck Grassley Upchucks Hypocrisy "Senator Chuck Grassley, one of healthcare reform’s most vocal opponents, has outdone himself. He’s now trying to take credit for portions of the Affordable Health Care For America Act, bragging that he authored the good parts. ..."

• Republicans: Stuck Between Their Crock And A Hard Place "When it comes to health reform, Republicans are stuck between their crock and a hard place. ..."

• South African Pinot’s Too Pricey? Blame The Baboons. "Are you a wine aficionado? A fan of pinot noir? Apparently baboons like pinot too, which is providing quite a challenge for South African vineyard owners and winemakers. ..."

• Republican Trials (Limerick) "For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious. ..."

• Addled Threats "Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. ..."

• A Limerick Meal

• Feed Needs "In simpler (pre-social networking) days, I suffered from just one web addiction — checking my email. And that was bad enough. But now it’s Facebook and Twitter and blogging, oh my! ..."

• “Deem and Pass” Ditty My limerick explains the real reason 'deem and pass' health reform plans were abandoned.

• Religion Hits Bottoms
  "CDD is an odd Christian fad
  For punishing wives when they’re 'bad.' ..."

• Dear Press: Clean Up Your Own Damn Mess! (Limerick)
  "We get headlines each March from the press:
  “It’s Spring — Time To Clean Up Your Mess.” ..."

• Are Health Studies Making Us Sick? "Here we go again: Yet another scientific study says many of us should have ignored a previous study. ..."

• Et Tu, Dennis? "Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. ..."

• Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick) "J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. ..."

• Holier-Than-Thou Wars
  "The GOP’s trying to smack
  The Dems on their ethics. How whack! ..."

• Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
  "Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
  I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad. ..."

• Not Going Postal Over Saturday Mail "Are you upset by the cost-savings proposal to cut Saturday mail delivery in 2011? ..."

• Ode To An Obstructionist "As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office. ..."

• Subversive Limerick "South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws. ..."

• Gosh-Darn Pols!
  " California Assembly’s decree:
  The first week of March is “cuss-free.”..."

• A Limerick For Lamar "As Steve Benen points out, we’ve already tried incrementalism. ..."

• Frankly My Dear Gaffney, You’re Nuts "Right-wing activist Frank Gaffney is at it again. His latest tin-foil hat paranoia involves the Missile Defense Agency’s website logo ..."

• Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy "It’s getting hard to keep track of all the Republican 'trash and cash' Recovery Act hypocrisy. ..."

• Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire "I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this line frequently used by Obama and other pols: 'America can’t afford to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.' ..."

• Senator Bayh, Buh Bye! "Senator Evan Bayh (Pretend-Dem-Indiana) has announced that he won’t seek reelection this year. ..."

• Just What Drivers Need — More Distractions! (Car Poem) "I’m as big a web addict as the next woman. But do we really need Internet-enabled dashboards in our cars? ..."

• We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway (Double Limerick)
  "My husband and I like to dance.
  Are we good? Oh no way — not a chance. ..."

• Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained "When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:

  Notes on your hand,
  Notes on your hand,
  Lookin’ like a fool
  With your notes on your hand. ..."

• How To Muck Up Gift-Giving (Marriage Verse)
  "Dear hubby, I’d really be miffed
  If you gave me manure as a gift. ..."

• Super Bowl Sunday Blues (Sports Limerick) "This probably sounds un-American, but I never watch football on television … or anywhere else, for that matter. Not even the Super Bowl. ..."

• Ode To Barack Hussein Hoover (Limerick) "Responding to his political crisis, President Obama is doing precisely the wrong thing. ..."

• Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats "In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies. ..."

• Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood "There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. ..."

• Fight Firewalls With Kindle "My humorist pal Rose Valenta recently created a Kindle version of her blog and inspired me to do the same. Why? Because many employers are getting strict about web access, blocking employees from reading their favorite blogs and sites ..."

• Dear Jay Leno "I’m on Team CoCo, as you can tell from my Conan-Leno talk show wars limerick. ..."

• Go, Conan! "A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show ..."

• Simon, Say It Ain’t So! (Limerick)"“Insult judge” Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol at the end of this season. How will I ever survive? ..."

• Shoo, Heels! "I’m short. Five-foot-zero, to be specific. But I never wear heels. Okay, I do have one pair of special-occasion shoes with a one-inch heel. Does that even count? ..."

• Ode To The Weatherman "A huge snow storm (perhaps even a blizzard) is about to descend on New York City and has already hit much of the east coast. And that means it’s the weatherman’s time in the sun. ..."

• Ode To Cappuccino (Limerick)
  "When my hot cappuccino’s denied me,
  I am steamed. I must have it inside me. ..."

• Joe “Vote 60? No Mo’ (Limerick) "I’ve been searching for a positive note in the Massachusetts election debacle and its effect on health care reform and Obama’s agenda. ..."

• Al-Qaeda Talking Points? (Limerick) "Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama? ..."

• Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11? Giuliani Loses His Mind "It was silly enough when Bush-defender Dana Perino, while appearing on Sean Hannity’s TV show, claimed there were no domestic terror attacks under George W. Bush. ..."

• Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain’t Kosher "Up until now, I’ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods’ serial philandering. But Brit Hume’s outrageous comments leave me no choice. According to Hume, if Tiger Woods wants forgiveness, he must convert from Buddhism to Christianity. ..."

• Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack "Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit. ..."

• Dressing Down The President "Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree. ..."

• “No-Man” Joe "When it comes to health care reform, Joe Lieberman is acting like a petulant baby: “Wah, wah, wah! Dump the public option, or I filibuster. So there!” ..."

• Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool "Somebody please explain why the garbage and lies spewed by Richard Cheney are routinely treated like they’re gospel. ..."

• Testy Republicans "By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative 'purity test,' a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party 'undesirables.' ..."

• Fraidy-Cat Republicans "According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. ..."

• Bowing … And Scraping Bottom "Fox News and all the usual wingnut suspects are simply horrified because President Obama, in a show of diplomatic courtesy, bowed to Emperor Akihito of Japan. ..."

• Stupak Stupidity "The Republican National Committee, the wingnutty Focus on the Family, and both groups’ donors are abortion-loving baby killers. Yes, I was shocked too. But it’s true, if you follow the thought process behind the Stupak Amendment to its logical conclusion. ..."

• Larry King and Carrie Prejean — Not Headed To The Altar "Note To Beauty Pageant Coaches: Must add storming-off-tv-set etiquette to your coaching regimen...."

• Stewing Over Stupak "This feminist is furious over the abortion-coverage-banning Stupak Amendment to the House health care reform bill. And no, Stupak isn’t a Hyde Amendment-equivalent. It’s the Hyde Amendment on steroids. ..."

• Celebrating Sarah "On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century. ..."

• “Short On Facts” Fox "One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. ..."

• A Limerick For Traitor Joe "Traitor Joe Lieberman is back to his old tricks, once again trying to undermine Democrats. ..."

• Bystander President? "Recent comments by Sen. Jay Rockefeller and others indicate that a strong public option could become a reality, if only President Obama stopped being a Bystander President. ..."

• The Price Of Facebook Friendship "Are you suffering from Facebook friend envy? Do you have a few hundred spare bucks lying around? Then uSocial, an Australian marketing company, is eager to help you buy thousands of “targeted” Facebook friends and fans and Twitter followers. ..."

• Ode To Party-First Republicans "Remember when you could tell the difference between right-wing loons and your average Republican politician? ..."

• Ode To Incivility "What’s with prominent celebrities and pols whose last names begin with “W”? Joe Wilson, Kanye West, and Serena Williams have all made unspeakably rude public asses of themselves during the last few days. ..."

• Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans "Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. ..."

• Happy Birthday To Me "Friday, September 11th was my birthday — one of those traumatizing, ends-with-zero birthdays. So I told my husband Mark that, unless he wanted me to be a basket case on nine-eleven, he’d better plan something good. ..."

• Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak "Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ’splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. ..."

• Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur "I may be a non-practicing Jew, but I’m deeply offended by Glenn Beck’s attempt to co-opt and politicize Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. ..."

• Chris Wallace Feels Dissed "Poor Chris Wallace has been whining to Bill O’Reilly about Fox News Sunday not getting an Obama interview. ..."

• Balking At The Baucus Bill "Wendell Potter, the former health insurance industry executive-turned-whistleblower, presents a scathing analysis of the Max Baucus health reform plan. ..."

• The Not-So-Frugal Traveler "South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford sure has expensive travel habits for such a 'frugal conservative.' ..."

• Bathing In Bad News "Just when you thought it was safe to take a shower, here’s a health scare that would make Alfred Hitchcock turn pale: ..."

• Republicans Bring Classiness To the Classroom "Remember when a presidential speech to school kids was considered positive and uncontroversial? ..."

• Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg "New Hampshire’s Senator Judd Gregg, a big “majority rules” fan back when Republicans held the majority, has suddenly become a minority rights advocate. ..."

• Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Texting? "Brace yourself for a large dose of libertarian outrage: Texting while driving may soon be outlawed. ..."

• Alpha-Political Verse 2009 "From time to time, I write an alphabetical poem summing up a period’s zany and significant political moments. ..."

• Ode To Ted Kennedy "Aa serious double limerick to commemorate the life and death of the great Senator Ted Kennedy: ..."

• Ode To The White House Fashion Police "The White House fashion police are at it again: First Lady Michelle Obama was caught wearing shorts on her way to a Grand Canyon vacation! The horror! ..."

• An Open Limerick To President Obama " Watching Republicans out-maneuver President Obama on “bi-partisan” health care reform has been so painful, I sometimes feel forced to avert my eyes. ..."

• Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them "Republican hypocrisy is stunning. Almost everyone who’s been throwing around the “death panel” epithet used to have a very different opinion of end-of-life-care planning: ..."

• Tantrum Politics "Planning to attend a local town hall meeting about health care reform? Hoping to learn something and to express your opinion? Well, be sure to bring a pair of ear plugs. Because the only thing you’re likely to hear is an enraged, screaming mob. ..."

• Our Liberal Media "Steve Benen points out the contrast between the coverage of two abortion-related polls: ..."

• Waterloo Lies
  "The GOP’s spreading big lies
  To ensure that our health reform dies ...."

• Dear Senator Inhofe "Boohoohoo! Poor, innocent Republicans are being hassled by wingnut birthers — loons who would refuse to believe President Obama was born in the U.S., even if they witnessed his Hawaiian birth themselves. ..."

• Kindle Swindle? (3-Verse Limerick)
  "Have you noticed your e-book list dwindle? You’re probably using a Kindle. ..."

• Crotchety Ode (Limerick)
  "A crotchety fellow named Rich
  Would always complain, 'Life’s a bitch!' ...”

• Flailin' Palin "Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving 'dead fish' and a 'lame duck?' ...”

• Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford "South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford shouldn’t resign because he’s an unfaithful, lying, hypocrite … although he’s all that and more. ...”

• My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)

• De-Moralized? "I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake. ...”

• Empty Nest (Limerick)
  "A woman was feeling depressed.
  (Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”) ...”

• Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy "All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. ...”

• Steeley Plan For Health Care "Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond. ...” ”

• Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign! (Limerick)

• Dim-Witted Driver
  "A dim-witted driver named Ed
  Often finds that his battery’s dead. ..."

• Doc Mockery
  "A nervous young fellow named Phil
  Asked his doc if he needed a will. ...”

• Hannity Insanity (Limerick) "Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded 'alternate reality' than Fox’s Sean Hannity. ...”

• Not An American Idol
  "There once was a woman named June
  Whose singing was way out of tune. ..."

• Bankrupt Values "Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about. One of their favorites? The General Motors bankruptcy. ...”

• Battle of the Search Engines "I couldn’t let the launch of Google-challenger Bing pass without a limerick. ...”

• Pedestrian Plea
  "There once was a fellow named Mike,
  Who was bored while out riding his bike. ...”

• Ode To Mark Krikorian "The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. ...”

• A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid? (Double Limerick) “I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student. ...”

• A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth?
  “Can yoga de-wrinkle your face?
  Your forehead and frown lines erase? ...”

• Ben Nelson, DINO … Or Dinosaur? "If you didn’t know Sen. Ben Nelson’s a Democrat, you’d swear he’s a conservative Republican. And that’s why the fantasy of a Frankenized, filibuster-proof Senate is ludicrous. ...”

• Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys "The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. ...”

• Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies "It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee! ...”

• An Ode To The American Idol Finalists "Since American Idol is one of the few TV shows I watch regularly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on the finalists and write a limerick for finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert: ...”

• Ode To JetBlue “We’re back from a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas. So I thought I’d celebrate our thirteen hour return-flight delay with a limerick: ...”

• Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee “I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. ...”

• My Homage To Feigned Outrage “Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) have been staging yet another temper tantrum. ...”

• Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions “It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch. ...”

• Which Veep Talks Too Much? “Dick Cheney refuses to crawl back into his undisclosed location … and Democrats rejoice: ...”

• Ode To Fresh Faces
  “Republican planning is plain.
  They want to rebrand, they explain. ...”

• Quaking Over Handshakes “Newsflash via a Republican video ad: Obama is endangering the U.S. by consorting with foreign leaders like Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz. ...”

• Karl’s Roving Standards (Double Limerick) “Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter: ...”

• Secession? Did I Say Secession? "For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check. ...”

• They Only Have Themselves To Blame “On Thursday, Obama sent the filibuster-happy Republicans a message: Their zero-vote obstructionism has consequences. ...”

• An Ode To Writer’s Block
  “I’ve nothing amusing to write
  Cuz I feel uninspired tonight. ...”

• Rudy's Family Values
  “To marry your cousin is fine.
  To pretend not to know it — divine. ...”

• Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy “My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha: ...”

• Fox Pundits At Sea “Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong. ...”

• Dogged Journalism “At long last, we have an answer to these burning questions: What kind of dog will Obama get daughters Malia and Sasha, and when will he get it? ...”

• Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown “I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. ...”

• Republican Road To Remedial Math “I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the House Republicans’ number-free budget. And I’m looking forward to the expanded version they’ve promised for next week — the one that won’t have any letters in it either. ...”

• Ode To AP's Ron Fournier “After President Obama’s outstanding performance during his second primetime press conference, the AP’s Ron Fournier had some column inches to fill. So, what words of wisdom did he share in his 'news analysis'? Obama really 'likes to have [his words] up on the Teleprompter.' ...”

• Email Swiped From Dick Cheney's In-Box “Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box: ...”

• Ode To The Laughter-Police “I could have sworn that Obama’s 60 Minutes interview was both serious and informative. But I guess that’s what happens when you watch something yourself, instead of relying on press accounts. ...”

• Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone “I’d hoped that Maureen Dowd was all done with her Michelle Obama biceps obsession. But apparently not. ...”

• Fuming About Hume “What delicious irony — Brit Hume bitching about blogger partisanship. ...”

• Ode To The Easily Offended “President Obama was witty and entertaining on last night’s Leno appearance, and what’s the upshot? He’s forced to apologize for a self-deprecating, throwaway line comparing his bowling performance to the Special Olympics. ...”

• Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies! “I practiced law for over a dozen years and negotiated lots of contracts. And, unlike the Bush administration, I always kept my poker face. Why? Because if you want the best possible deal, you must make the other party think that he needs you more than you need him. ...”

• Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus? “The AIG bonus fiasco has been very enlightening. Giving incompetent employees huge bonuses, so they won’t resign? And with taxpayer cash yet? What a concept! ...”

• Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters! “The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal. ...”

• Ode To Ari Fleischer “The stream of deceit that came pouring out of Ari Fleischer’s belligerent mouth during his Chris Matthews’ interview must surely have set some sort of record. ...”

• Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit. “Republicans love to attack Obama’s initiatives by claiming they’re distractions from his “fix the economy” job. Apparently, if the economy continues to tank, it’s because he wasted all that time signing an executive order opening up stem cell research. ...”

• Finally, An Up Side To Filing Tax Returns
  “When paying my taxes great pains
  Always shoot through my muscles and veins. ...”

• Steele-Buyers’ Remorse “It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. ...”

• Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal “I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on. ...”

• Ode To Roland Burris “The (I hope) soon-to-be-ex-Senator Roland Burris is quite the word weasel, isn’t he? So I thought I’d join the calls for his resignation with my latest limerick: ...”

• Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long? “I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist. I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days! ...”

• Valentine's Day Verse (Limerick & Haiku)
  “St. Valentine’s Day’s coming soon.
  It’s a choc’late and rose-sellers’ boon. ...”

• Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!
  “Dear Republicans, stop all your bluster—
  Your obstructionist taunt: 'Filibuster!' ...”

• Wall Street Woes
  “I shudder when opening mail,
  And my sinking accounts make me wail. ...”

• D.C. Snow Job “Life in Washington, D.C. must be great! Otherwise, the D.C. Council would surely have better things to do than passing laws that require drivers to remove snow from their cars. ...”

• Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes “First Tim Geithner, and now Tom Daschle. Anyone else getting tired of rich, powerful people failing to pay taxes, saying “Oops! Sorry! My bad!” and getting away with it? ...”

• Caffeinated Verse (Limerick)
  “I’ve rarely been tempted by tea,
  And coffee does nothing for me. ...”

• No Quid? No Quo! (Stimulus Bill Limerick)

• An Alpha-Political Farewell To George Bush & Dick Cheney
  “A is for Jack Abramoff who’s big in pay-to-play.
  B’s for greedy bankers who have fleeced the USA.
  C is for Sen. Craig who isn’t gay, except in bed.
  D is for democracy which Dubya hasn’t spread. ...”

• “Dear Son” Letters (Limerick)
  “Whenever my husband gets mail
  From his mom, this is true without fail: ...”

• Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead! (TARP Limerick)

• Why Caroline Kennedy? (Legacy Appointment Humor)

• Who Needs Oversight, When You're Spending Money You Don't Have?
  “I’m never a person to carp,
  But nobody oversees TARP. ...”

• Dental Verse
  “I think I’m becoming unglued —
  Not my mind, but a cap caught on food. ...”

• Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives “Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives. ...”

• Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing? “Like The New York Times’ Gail Collins and so many others, I think Bush and Cheney need to take early retirement. Otherwise, by the time Obama is president, there won’t be anything left to preside over. ...”

• What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? “Does anyone else think all this rumor-mongering is a wee bit silly? ...”

• "Traitor Joe" Wasn't Disloyal Enough? (Haiku)

• Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Limerick)
  ““Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
  He deserves to be stripped of his chair. ...”

• Celebratory Limerick
  “Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
  You have done it. You’ve won it. You’re in! ...”

• An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
  “Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
  But enough! I must know who has won. ...”

• McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo (Limerick)
  “There’s a ticket that can’t get along
  Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong. ...”

• The Couple That Reads Together (Limerick)
  “A tech-savvy husband and wife
  Once suffered occasional strife ...”

• Twitter Jitters (Limerick)
  “I really don’t mean to sound bitter,
  But it’s hard to fit humor on Twitter. ...”

• Just Call It The McPettiness Express (Limerick)
  “Beware of the wrath of McCain.
  If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane. ...”

• Not So Stylish Limerick (Limerick)
  “I’ll admit that I’m not into clothes.
  And I don’t follow style, heaven knows. ...”

• Does Sarah Palin Even Know What Intellectual Means? "It’s hard to believe, but Sarah Palin told People Magazine that she’s an 'intellectual.' ...”

• Where’s My Personal Shopper? "After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. ...”

• Sarah Palin Haiku

• Is GOP Idiocy Real, Or Is It Memorex? "What on earth is the matter with Republicans like Rep. Michelle Bachmann and Rep. Robin Hayes? Not only do they say insane things, but they deny saying them, as if recording devices had never been invented. ...”

• Ode To Sarah “Geography-Challenged” Palin (Limerick)
  “Gov. Palin’s geography gap
  Is appalling. Please give her a map. ...”

• Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain "Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? ...”

• Memory Limerick (Limerick)
  “Whenever I meet someone new,
  I use memory tricks till I’m blue. ...”

• Ode To David Frum "David Frum, infamous for fathering (or at least taking credit for fathering) the phrase “Axis of Evil,” took on the wrong person last night. I’m referring, of course, to Rachel Maddow. ..."

• Sarah In Wonderland "A bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power. So is Palin contrite? Hahahahaha! ...”

• Team Of Liars (Limerick)
  “The McCain/Palin team now is rife
  With liars, including John’s wife. ...”

• McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act "It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily. ...”

• Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
  “Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
  (Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.) ...”

• Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test (Limerick)

• Finally, A McCain Statement I Can Agree With "At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark. ..."

• A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin? "According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault. ..."

• Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah "How many 'everyday, working-class Americans' do you know who own 'a single-engine plane, two boats, two personal watercraft and a half-million-dollar, custom-built home on a lake…'”?

• An Ode To Crybaby Republicans "Even The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page thinks Republicans are crybabies about the bailout bill. ...”

• Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? "The guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes, is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate. ...”

• Ode To Corporate Vultures (Haiku)

• McCain's Memory Purge (Limerick)

• Palin Panic (Limerick)

• Not So Artful At Athletics "When I was in elementary school, I was really bad at two things — art and athletics. ..."

• Bailin' On Palin? "How nice that John McCain is finally getting around to vetting his temper-tantrum-inspired, Lieberman/Ridge-rebound Veep pick. ..."

• Sarah Who??? "Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake. ..."

• Engagement Bling (Limerick)
  “I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
  “I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom. ...”

• Kristol-izing Feminism "So Bill Kristol’s a feminist. Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep. ..."

• McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns (Limerick)
  "McCain is confused. Stop the presses!
  And if stumped by a query, he guesses. ..."

• Gray Matters (Limerick)
  "Though young when I started to gray,
  I refused to say, “Gray, go away!” ..."

• Some Friendly Advice For Obama "The longer this presidential campaign goes on, the more worried I become. ..."

• My "Dear John" Edwards Letter (Limerick)
  "Dear John, to your run I said, "Yay!"
  And I thought you’d go far, come what may. ..."

• Media Sheep
  "McCain’s a straight talker.
  Ignore all his lying.
  Obama is pompous.
  He’s humble? Not buying!
  That’s the agreed-upon narrative. See? ..."

• Musical Discord
  "'Your playing is way out of tune,'
  The conductor informed the bassoon. ..."

• A Humorist’s Lament "By now, everyone’s surely seen Barry Blitt’s New Yorker cover, depicting Barack Obama as a flag-burning, bin Laden-loving, fist-bumping Muslim. Intended to satirize “The Politics of Fear,” the image is being widely criticized as reinforcing the very stereotypes it seeks to mock. ..."

• Ode To Judge Ronald Leighton
  "Attorneys are often verbose,
  Penning legal complaints grandiose, ..."

• My Confession
  "I’m married, but still like to date.
  It’s good for my marriage — no, great! ..."

• Irreparable Poem
  "I’m writing some verse about mending.
  My deadline is soon and unbending. ..."

• Vacation Verse
  "My husband is swimming outdoors.
  I expect he’ll be back when it pours, ..."

• Quick Story
  "'Quick story,' my husband declares.
  'It’s short — I’m not kidding,' he swears. ..."

• Bugged
  "Mosquitos are on the attack.
  They have bitten my arms and my back. ..."

• Tempo, Tempo "Prompted to pay special attention to tempo and pacing, I’ve written a tanka made up entirely of Italian musical tempo terms. ..."

• Ode To A Letter Opener (Tanka)

• Sleepless In Bayside
  "My husband can catnap at will,
  And my jealous reaction is shrill. ..."

• Why So Quiet? A Limerick Explanation
  "This space has been quiet of late.
  But it’s not that my readers don’t rate. ..."

• The Poetry Of Dating
  "The gal was enjoying her date
  Till her escort became quite irate. ..."

• Wham! Bam! No Thank You, Phil Gramm!
  "We’re 'a nation of whiners,' says Gramm.
  Our economy’s not in a jam. ..."

• Dear Obama
  "Dear Obama, your flight to the right
  Is making me feel quite uptight. ..."

• Some Friendly Advice For McCain’s Veep Vetting Team
  "McCain doesn’t use a PC
  Or a Mac, so he needs a VP ..."

• So, Is This Ageist Too?
  "Wah, wah, wah! Don’t critique John McCain.
  If you do so you’re ageist — Insane! ..."

• Is Olbermann Turning Into O’Reilly?
  "In the past I cheered Olbermann’s rants—
  Loved his anti-war, anti-Bush stance. ..."

• Email Hell
  " I’m out of the office right now.
  Do I hate answ’ring email? And how! ..."

• The Outgoing Message I’d love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine

• Puppy Love (Limerick and Haiku)
  "Dear puppy, how long will it be
  Till you learn where it’s kosher to pee? ..."

• George Who??? "After losing three back-to-back Congressional races in solid Republican districts, the GOP has a spanking new game plan. ..."

• Impulse Buy Haiku

• This Is A Warning

• Trash Day (Limerick and Haiku)
  "On trash day I set a tv
  On the curb and before I could flee, ..."

• Life Stages (Limerick and Haiku)
  "“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
  Said the coach to the gals on the stage. ..."

• Ring Of Truth (Limerick)
  "“This engagement ring — that’s what I’d like,”
  Said the gal to her boyfriend named Mike. ..."

• Yard Yarns (Limerick and Haiku)
  "I admit that I’m bad with a rake,
  And disposing of leaves makes me quake. ..."

• Rivals (Limerick)
  "An arrogant fellow named Kirk
  Thought each of his rivals a jerk. ..."

• Creature Of Habit (Limerick)
  "“Shall I tell you our specials today?”
  Asks the waiter, who knows what I’ll say: ..."

• Crazy Aunts (Limerick and Haiku)
  "Crazy aunt in your fam’ly? Let’s see:
  Does she scoff at conventions with glee? ..."

• Ode To The Haiku & Other Poems About Poetry
  "It’s seventeen-syllable verse --
  Maybe less -- yes it has to be terse. ..."

• Dear IRS (Limerick)
  "Dear folks at the Fed IRS,
  Your rules and your regs are a mess. ..."

• Tripped Up By Traveling (Limerick)
  "It’s outrageous, a rip-off, a gyp
  What we paid for that terrible trip. ..."

• Ode To A Grudge-Holding Judge (Limerick)
  "There once was a federal judge
  Who was famous for holding a grudge. ..."

• Temper, Temper (Limerick and Haiku)
  "A felonious fellow named Mort
  Went to jail cuz his temper was short. ..."

• Dear Spring (Limerick)
  "Dear spring, you are late once again.
  Yet you claim that you’ve been here, since when? ..."

• Ode To An Earthquake (Limerick)
  "It’s ‘71. I awake
  In LA to a 6.6 quake. ..."

• Healthy Verse (Limerick and Haiku)
  "Maladjusted men sometimes say, “Doc,
  Chiropractic is naught but a crock. ..."

• Ode To A Despicable Person (Limerick)
  "Hey bud, don’t pretend to be fearless.
  In your cowardice, you’re nearly peerless. ..."

• Taxing Verse (Limerick and Haiku)
  "My records are scattered. Oh dear!
  And tax filing day’s almost here. ..."

• Spring In New York (3 Haiku)
  "Calendar says spring,
  But the weather disagrees.
  Hope they work it out. ..."

• Deja Verse
  "'I could swear that I’ve been here before,'
  Said the gal as she stepped through the door. ..."

• Media Life Cycle

• If I Were A Judge (Limerick)
  "Your argument doesn’t make sense.
  It’s absurd and illogical. Hence, ..."

• Loan Poem (Limerick)
  "Are you desp’rate — in need of a loan?
  Friends and fam’ly won’t throw you a bone? ..."

• Pedestrian Poems (Limerick and Haiku)
  "Oh WALK light, you change way too fast.
  Your pedestrian green doesn’t last. ..."

• Rejected Apology (Limerick)
  "Your apology isn’t enough.
  You always act distant and gruff. ..."

• No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye (Limerick and Haiku)
  "I’m late and I can’t miss this train!
  It’s arrived, and I’m here, yet in vain: ..."

• Romance -- A Foreign Concept? (Limerick)
  "“Instead of your long-winded rants,”
  Says the gal, “I’d prefer some romance.” ..."

• This Haiku Has Legs

• There's No Substitute For A Bad Job (Limerick and Haiku)
  " In my twenties I substitute taught.
  ‘Tis a challenging job and it’s fraught; ..."

• Lost Cause? (Limerick and Haiku)
  "“Please help me! I really need aid,”
  Said a lady who looked quite afraid. ..."

• Street Metal (Limerick)
  "While I drive, I espy something bright.
  To avoid it, I swerve to the right. ..."

• Decisions, Decisions (Limerick and Haiku)
  "If there’s one thing I cannot abide,
  It is people who cannot decide ..."

• Hey Pundits, Stifle Yourselves! (Limerick)
  "The pundits opine and expound:
  On sheer nonsense they chew and they pound, ...."

• Miss Dating? Not Me! (Limerick)
  "Before I was married I dated
  Hardly ever, cause dating I hated...."

• Banking On Money Poems (Limerick and Haiku)
  "I once balanced my checkbook with ease.
  But, alas, it’s no longer a breeze. ..."

• Dear Editor: Enough With The Polls, Already! (Limerick)
  "My int’rest in polling is waning:
  Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s gaining. ..."

• First and Last Visit (Limerick)
  "I’m allergic to felines; I sneeze
  And I tear when they’re near—then I wheeze. ..."

• Ode To John "You Little Jerk" McCain (Limerick)
  "Among John McCain’s irksome quirks
  Is his habit of calling guys jerks ..."

• Multitasking Mania (Limerick and Haiku)
  "It’s risky to drive while you eat,
  Most especially pasta with meat:..."

• Weathering Bush (Haiku)

• My Family Needs Me (Limerick and Video -- Read It or Watch It) "I’m always amused when politicians and other public figures get into legal hot water and develop a sudden urge to spend more time with their family. ..."

• One Car Guaranty I'd Gladly Forgo (Limerick)
  "Those dents seem to come right on cue
  A few days from your auto’s debut...."

• Why Are These Journalists Smiling? (Limerick) "I’ve noticed that many reporters and talking heads are almost giddy over Hillary Clinton’s recent stumbles and the rumored return of Barack Obama’s mojo. ..."

• New Year's Resolution Haiku

• Lies and Deception Limerick and Haiku
  "'Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
  You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,'..."

• Ode To A Greedy Squirrel (Limerick)
  "A squirrel who wanted some food
  Did something I’d call rather rude: ..."

• Wine and Spirits Limerick & Haiku
  "The bartender offered cheap brandy.
  'No fine cognac?' I whined—wasn’t handy. ..."

• Love At First Sight (Limerick and Haiku)
  "‘Twas amoré (yes, love) at first sight
  When I met my dear husband that night. ..."

• Annoying Advice (Limerick and Haiku
  "“Keep your chin up, and things will be fine.
  Just act brave. Do not bitch, flinch, or whine. ..."

• Weathering New York Weather (Limerick)
  "The weather outside isn’t nice,
  And the walks are all covered with ice. ..."

• Misspent Youth (Limerick)
  "We tend to be charmed and beguiled
  By a talented prodigy child. ..."

• Why I Don't Relish Shopping (Limerick)
  " I stare at the shelves in confusion,
  Wond’ring why there is such a profusion ..."

• One Of These Days, I’ll Actually Say This (Limerick)
  "We’re annoyed by your motormouth child.
  He is boist’rous and noisy and wild. ..."

• Time Travel (Limerick)
  "Please stop all the clocks. Cut the phone.
  Pull the plug on each ‘puter you own. ..."

• Vive La (Brain) Différence! Humorous verse about the differences between men's brains and women's brains.

• First Pakistan And Then... (Haiku) "While Bush and Cheney are busily threatening World War 3 over of Iran’s potential future nuclear threat, ..."

• Charge! (Limerick)
  "'A charge account’s wrong to its core,'
  Said the dad, who paid cash at each store. ..."

• Ode To Our Petulant Prez (Limerick) "George Bush has been sounding extra whiney lately. The poor guy! Those abusive Dems have been torturing him, giving him a mere 98% of what he asks for. ..."

• Problem Poetry (Limerick)
  "'Your verses belong in the can,'
  Said the prof to a man. “They don’t scan. ...'"

• Heckofajob, Karen! (Haiku) "So Karen Hughes has resigned from her job to 'promote America’s values ...'"

• The Joys Of Winter (Limerick)
  "It was windy and snowy. I stumbled.
  Then I fell and my keys and phone tumbled ..."

• The Poetry Of Rudy Giuliani "Did you know that Rudy Giuliani is a poet? Me neither. So I was really surprised to unearth the poetry of Rudy Giuliani. Here are six poems I found in the Rudy Reader: ..."

• What Will I Be When I Grow Up? (Limerick)
  "Ev’ry decade I change my career.
  The first used my musical ear. ..."

• Message To Obama: Hammer! Don't Stammer! (Haiku) "This is starting to get silly. It seems like every other day, Barack Obama promises to bolster his lagging poll numbers by changing his campaign style and getting tough on Hillary Clinton. ..."

• Possibly Good, Albeit Annoying Advice (Limerick)
  "Ev’ry weekend take time to forget
  All your worries and cares and your debt. ..."

• Pondering Condi "Condi Rice’s testimony this past week, in which she belligerently defended the State Department’s work in Iraq, was her first appearance before a Democratically-controlled House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. True to form, she blamed everything but the Bush’s many administration failures for the problems in Iraq: ..."

• Me Gamble? No Dice! (Limerick)
  "You should never play cards on a lark
  With a Vegas-style card-wielding shark. ..."

• Bridling At A Question (Limerick)
  "At his question, I’m fit to be tied
  Cuz it comes from left field. I must hide! ..."

• Do Bosses Really Need Their Own National Holiday? "Did you know that tomorrow, October 16th, is National Boss Day? So, are you excited yet? ..."

• A Horse Of A Different Color (Limerick)
  "There are folks who succumb to a weakness
  For races like Belmont and Preakness. ..."

• Fishing For Company "I’m an insomniac and I must admit to taking a bit of solace at learning from a podcast that 'zebrafish - a common aquarium pet - can have a genetic mutation linked to sleep problems.' ..."

• Musical Duo (Flute & Lute Humor)

• Toying With Kites (Limerick)
  "The sight of a kite in the sky
  Is delightful and lovely, so why ..."

• Pondering Rudy "I live in New York City, so I’m pretty familiar with the pros and cons of Rudy Giuliani. And yes, there are pros. What pros? Well, Rudy does love opera. ..."

• SCHIP Haiku "At long last, the real reason George W. Bush vetoed SCHIP..."

• Ode To Ann (ti-Semite Coulter)

• Is Rove's Loyalty Roving? "How amusing! Karl Rove wants to be remembered for something more than just being the “Brain” of the worst President in U.S. history..."

• Not Tickled Pink About Girlish Pink Guns "I wish I were making this up but, alas, I’m not — pink guns for girls. ..."

• The Definitive Bad Date (Limerick)
  "A salty young gal is enraged
  When she learns that her date is engaged, ..."

• Is It July 4th, Columbus Day, Or Halloween? I'm Confused!

• Chick Flick Flack (Limerick)
  "When a film’s called a chick flick, it’s meant
  To appeal to most women. How bent! ..."

• Democrats Keep Making Elephants Of Themselves

• Rudy Giuliani: Bald Ego

• Web Withdrawal Woes (Limerick)
  "This outage has led me to think
  I’ve gone bonkers, berserk—need a shrink. ..."

• Curb Your Age Of Turbulence Enthusiasm "Poor little innocent Alan Greenspan is shocked, SHOCKED, I TELL YOU, by the Bush administration’s budget deficits and loss of fiscal discipline. ..."

• Mad Kane's Gone Mobile, And So Can You "There’s good news for the on-the-run multitasker: Mad Kane’s gone mobile, so both of my blogs can be read on cell phones. And there’s even more good news — it’s easy to set up. How? I’ll tell you where to go … but first, a limerick: ..."

• Spam Haiku "Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku. How do I do it? I simply mix and match phrases from various annoying email solicitations and turn them into Spam Haiku. Here are some examples: ..."

• Some Dishy Verse (Limerick)
  "We’re discussing our favorite dish,”
  Said the gal. “Please chime in if you wish. ..."

• Taking Our Marriage's Temperature
  "My husband and I can agree
  On most everything—“a” straight through “z”. ..."

• Petraeus and Crocker Face Hume Humiliation "I had to laugh when I heard about Brit Hume’s exclusive Fox interview with General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker “about the state of the Iraq war and their testimony to Congress.” What’s the matter — wasn’t Hannity available? ..."

• Mustachioed Men -- Downtrodden Minority? "Is the American Mustache Institute (AMI) for real? When I first read about it, I figured it must surely be fictitious. Either that … or John Bolton’s new employer. ..."

• A Trio Of Limericks For Idaho Senator Larry Craig "I just couldn’t resist writing some limericks about the hypocritical, gay-bashing Senator Larry Craig: ..."

• Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits ("As a result of a neighbor’s lawsuit, a Swedish woman can no longer smoke in most of her garden. (And you thought the United States was a litigious country.) ..."

• Bach! Humbug! "It’s time for some silly classical music punning. ..."

• No Butt Cams For Me — No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts "If you’re ever in Scottsdale, Arizona and feel the need to buy jeans, prepare yourself for a scary rear view: ..."

• Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing "It’s mid-August, which means back-to-school day is just around the corner. And that in turn means it’s time to start shopping for school supplies: rulers and notebooks and pens and lunch boxes and calculators and computers and school clothes and … bulletproof backpacks??? ..."

• Dirty White House Complains About Gonzales "Mud" "Poor Alberto Gonzales! During those countless (and fruitless) Congressional hearings, Gonzales had but one job — protect George Bush. And so he lied, obfuscated, feigned amnesia, and did everything he could to muddy the truth. ..."

• Why I No Longer Get Excited When Bush Cronies Quit "Can we ever get rid of Bush’s spinmeister cronies? Apparently not. Sure, they eventually quit. But they stubbornly refuse to stay quit. ..."

• This Doesn't Pass The Smell Test "According to this odd story, a smoking ban in British pubs has managed to make British bars smell even worse. Apparently, the acrid smell of smoke is a delight compared to all the foul odors smoke used to mask: “stale food and beer, damp, sweat and body odour, drains and - how do you put this nicely - flatulence. ..."

• Yet Another Snow Job? "I wasn’t surprised to hear that Tony Snow plans to leave his Bush spokesperson gig when his “money runs out,” and possibly as early as September. ..."

• Selling Tickets To Brooke Astor's Funeral: Scam Or Satire? "Every so often, I’ll get an out-of-the-blue email from some on-deadline journalist in search of a timely, amusing quote. And though I’m not exactly a one-liner kind of gal, I always give it a try. ..."

• The Five-Second What??? "I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence. Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor. (And yes, we’re still married.) ..."

• Bush's Private Podium -- The Real Dope (Haiku) "According to Americablog, CNN’s Ed Henry has reported that Bush now has a spanking new (and personal) press briefing room podium. ..."

• Bush Growls; Dems Kowtow on Eavesdropping (Limerick & Poll) "I finally dare to fantasize that the Democrats may have gotten their act together, and they pull a cowardly stunt like this. ..."

• Games People Play ... At Meetings (Limerick)
  " Buzzword bingo’s a game workers play
  To record pompous things people say: ..."

• Every Bushie’s Testimony Summed Up In A Single Limerick (Limerick)
  "Don’t recall, don’t remember, can’t say
  What I did or I said on that day. ..."

• Chinese Exports — The Real Poop (Limerick) "I was a bit grossed out to learn that “The Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base has come up with a dung-for-profit scheme that turns droppings from the endangered species into odour-free souvenirs ranging from bookmarks to Olympic-themed statues… .”

• Probing Question (Haiku)

• Pity The Poor Lawyer (Limerick)
  "“Your billable hours are low,”
  Said the partner. “They simply must grow..."

• Reviewing The Reviewers (Limerick & Poll)
  "I just saw a play I abhorred
  That reviewers quite simply adored. ..."

• Ode To The Google PageRank Obsession "In honor of Google PageRank update season, which apparently is upon us, I’ve written this limerick. ..."

• May I Please Have Your Paw In Marriage? (Limerick)
  "Is your schnauzer in love with your collie?
  Jolly England can help you, by golly: ..."

• Pity The Poor Lawyer (Limerick)
  "“Your billable hours are low,”
  Said the partner. “They simply must grow..."

• Message: I Share … Your Goals. (Bush to the Revolting Republicans) "Dan Froomkin isn’t surprised that “confronted with a tide of anti-war sentiment and a growing number of defecting Republican lawmakers, the White House is changing not its policy on Iraq, but its message. ...”

• Yoga For What??? (Limerick)
  “There is yoga for doggies, I swear—
  Caught a canine-filled class on the air; ..."

• Lawless President Pays Off Law-Breaker Libby

• An Arresting Affair (Limerick)
  “A gal in New York was arrested
  For strolling outdoors while bare-breasted. ..."

• Money Limerick Contest Results - And The Winners Are...

• Cashing In With “Doggie da Vincis” (Limerick)
  “A dog trainer needed some cash,
  So she dreamed up a plan—made a splash: ..."

• Suffering From Bloomberg-Envy … Or Just an Idiotic Egomaniac? "Oh, lovely! Ralph Nader is threatening to run for President again: ..."

• The GOP’s In For A Rudy Awakening "As a long-time New York City resident, I’m amused by Rudy Giuliani’s candidacy. ..."

• A Lamb On The Lam "I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about the seven-month-old lamb that escaped a live-animal market in The Bronx, New York and led police on a several block chase before it was captured. ..."

• Fantasy “Dear Editor” Letter (Limerick)
  “My writing is great, you should know,
  Yet you turn it all down. What a blow! ..."

• Bush Stems Progress (Haiku)

• Bush's Language Police Foiled by Bush/Cheney Expletives "Remember the time Dick Cheney told to Senator Leahy what he could do to himself on the Senate floor? ..."

• A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys (Limerick)
  “Introducing your gal to your mom?
  Are you worried your intro will bomb? ..."

• Married To Money (Limerick)
  “He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
  That he threw an embarrassing bash: ..."

• School Daze (Limerick)
  “I crammed for the test—studied madly.
  But, alas, I’m afraid I did badly ..."

• Bloody Hell, It'll Be Bloody "That great seer, soothsayer, and visionary George Bush predicted Thursday that August may be a bloody month in Iraq: ..."

• Chance Meeting (Wedding Anniversary Limerick "My wonderful husband Mark and I are celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary today. Happy anniversary Mark! This limerick is my gift to you. (How’s that for getting off cheap?) ..."

• Bugged By Mosquitos (Limerick)
  “Mosquitos are driving me mad.
  Seems a zillion are biting me—bad! ..."

• If This Is True, My Head May Explode (Limerick)
  “The Dems disappoint once again,
  Caving in to Dub’s warmong’ring yen. ..."

• Airing My Airline Gripes (Limerick)
  “To travel by plane was once pleasant,
  But flying’s horrific at present. ..."

• Captured By CAPTCHA "If you’ve ever registered for a site or an email list, you’re surely familiar with those frustrating anti-spam CAPTCHA forms. ..."

• No Sweat Divorce (Limerick)
  “'My husband and I are estranged,'
  Said the wife, 'cause he acts so deranged'. ..."

• Yet Another American Idol Limerick "As regular readers know, watching American Idol is one of my guilty pleasures. But it sure wasn’t much of a pleasure last week, when mellifluous Melinda was sent packing and Blake wasn’t: ..."

• Only In Queens, New York (Limerick)
  “'Wanna ride?' says a cop on the force.
  I decline, though politely, of course. ..."

• He's Staying! So, There! "No, I’m not talking about Alberto Gonzales, although Gonzo seems to be staying too – so far, at least. I’m referring to yet another Bush administration miscreant: ..."

• Ode To The Can-Do Comic, Fran Capo "Without planning to, I seem to have launched an “Entertaining New Yorkers” series of limericks. ..."

• ADD Ode (Limerick)
  “Hey, doc, have I got ADD?
  My attention span’s short as can be. ..."

• Keeping Abreast Of Bras (Limerick)
  "There are gals who view bras as a gift,
  For without ‘em their breasts are adrift. ..."

• Bush's Iraq Strategy: Here ... Catch "President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill. Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. ..."

• Bandwidth Blues
  "“I’ve no bandwidth for that,” some folks say.
  It’s their style of responding, “No way! ..."

• Ode To The Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven "Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered George Bush about Iraq and had the 'most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.' ..."

• Mother's Day Limerick Contest Results -- And the Winners Are

• More 24, Please
  "I’m hooked on the show 24.
  Those CTU plots I adore. ..."

• Ode To Judy Carmichael, Stride Pianist "I live in New York City, so my husband Mark and I often catch great musical acts, plays, art shows, and other entertainment and cultural diversions in the Big Apple. ..."

• Bill Collection Time (A Legal Limerick)
  "The judge viewed your case with derision,
  So he rendered an adverse decision. ..."

• American Idol — My Guilty Pleasure (Limerick)
  "American Idol’s a show
  I enjoy. Why? I really don’t know: ..."

• Sleepless In Geekdom (Limerick)
  "My husband’s a super-smart geek
  Who’s on overnight call once a week. ..."

• Doggone Limerick
  "“It’s so cute!” said the child, with delight.
  “You can’t have it,” said Mom. “Puppies bite. ..."

• Merchants Of Hype "On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. ..."

• Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick "I’m afraid I can’t stop writing tax return limericks — probably because it’s a lot more fun than actually working on my tax return. ..."

• Truth On The Lam "Rachel Maddow has an update on Orrin Hatch’s smear campaign against Carol Lam, the U.S. Attorney for San Diego who was recently fired by the Justice Department. ..."

• Give Me A Break! (Limerick)
  "The play was quite talky and lacked
  Something crucial. It had but one act. ..."

• Tacky Verse (Limerick)
  "These armchairs are tacky and lack
  Sound support for my weary old back. ..."

• Ode To Unselfishness (Limerick)
  "My husband is great—good as gold.
  And there’s no one more giving, all told. ..."

• Form 1040 Blues (Limerick)
  "There’s a tax form that makes me irate:
  Form 1040, a long form I hate..."

• Collegiate Conversation (Limerick)
  "“Tell me, why are you being so mean?”
  Cried the girl to the college’s dean. ..."

• Stop Yelling!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
  "Those points that are meant to exclaim
  Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame. ..."

• It’s Not That I Don’t Like Movies, But… (Limerick)
  "I prefer to catch movies at home,
  Not in theaters where tall fellows roam. ..."

• Dems Pull Bush's Chain (Limerick)
  "The Congressional Dems reached a deal.
  No, it isn’t ideal, yet I feel ..."

• Gonzo, Begone ... And Take Your Pal Bush With You! (Limerick)
  "It appears that the Bushies conspired
  To ensure that some lawyers were fired ..."

• Boot-Licked (Limerick)
  "My new laptop refuses to boot,
  So I’m thinking of filing a suit. ..."

• Running From Mistakes (Limerick)
  "It’s essential to learn from mistakes
  And to not place the blame on bad breaks. ..."

• Chafing At "Chick" (Limerick)
  "When a guy calls a woman a chick,
  It strikes me as sexist and sick. ..."

• A Rueful Rhyme (Limerick)
  "Your inventions are brilliant, it’s true.
  Yes, you’re smart; it’s your rudeness I rue. ..."

• That Errant List
  "Oh, what have I done with my list
  Of the things I must do to exist? ..."

• How About Campaigning For Shorter Campaigns?
  "Campaigns seem to lengthen each year;
  When elections are held, how I fear ..."

• Purges and Surges, Twin Scourges, Oh My!
  "Dub’s prosecutorial purges
  And unauthorized, bellicose surges ..."

• A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice (Limerick)
  "My filters should block them, but nay!
  Spam emails beset me each day, ..."

• What George Bush Might Say, If He Spoke English
  "You’re cowards! You’re traitors! J’accuse!
  You in Congress, I’ll surge if I choose. ..."

• Office Politics
  "Your career is at stake, you should know,
  And you don’t want that guy as a foe. ..."

• Why I Don't Hate My Hate Mail
  "There are folks quite averse to my verse.
  In their emails, perverse, how they curse! ..."

• Why I Won’t Use What’s-Her-Name’s Name Anymore "Here’s a good story about the hate-filled, bigoted venom directed at John Edwards, which was recently spewed by a person whose name I will no longer mention, because it only encourages her. ..."

• Amusing Wine (Limerick)
  "When experts say wine is amusing,
  It’s a compliment. Ain’t that confusing? ..."

• Tasty Verse (Limerick)
  "There are folks who like food rather bland,
  Where all trace of flavor’s been banned. ..."

• Why Does George Bush Hate Our Troops?
  "Where’s the medical aid for our troops?
  When they’re injured, they’re treated like dupes. ..."

• Backup Blues
  "They told me to back up my drive,
  Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive. ..."

• A Waxman Haiku Is Overdue

• Happy Presidents' Day?
  "It’s Presidents’ Day, but I’m glum,
  Cause our President’s worse than a bum. ..."

• A Biting Limerick (Limerick)
  "'Ow! My tooth aches,' a man told the nurse,
  Whose answer was biting and terse: ..."

• I Guess They Miss The “Good Old Days” "This weekend’s Senate session reminds me of the fuss Republicans made when Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi imposed a substantially longer work week on Congress. Some even argued that the imposition of a 5-day work week proved that Democrats are anti-family. ..."

• Why I’m Qualified To Be Dick Cheney’s Top Aide "I take a strange solace in Libby’s “awful memory” defense. Why? This limerick should explain it: ..."

• Man Can’t Live By Bread Alone … Or Can He? (Limerick)
  "Here’s some bread for some bread at the store.
  Bring back change or you’re toast, cause we’re poor. ..."

• To Be Honest...
  "“In all candor” prepares me for lies
  When it’s said by political guys. ..."

• Blogroll Scrooges Must Be Punished "Some major bloggers (most prominently Atrios/Eschaton and Kos) have recently instituted a blogroll purge, eliminating, for the most part, all but the usual suspects. And to add insult to injury, they referred to it in Orwellian fashion as 'Blogroll Amnesty Day.' ..."

• Ode To Little John Warner "You just have to love it: Senator John Warner helped kill the debate on Bush’s surge, voting to block a vote on his own Warner-Levin Iraq War Resolution: ..."

• Ode To The Great Molly Ivins "Alas, the magnificent Molly Ivins has died. To call her a great wit and outstanding journalist would be an understatement. She has always been an inspiration to me and to every other liberal I know who tries to write political satire. ..."

• Open Sesame (Limerick)
  "Why on earth are CDs packed so tight?
  You can’t hear them without a huge fight. ..."

• Mess? What Mess?
  "From Dub’s State of the Union address,
  Who would guess that our nation’s a mess? ..."

• Marriage Catch (Limerick)
  "Said the fellow, 'I need some advice.
  Tell me how I can catch me some mice, ...'"

• Read His Lips: Tax The Middle Class
  "George Bush has at last found a tax
  That he’s fond of and backs to the max: ..."

• Jenna Bush, Author? "In a move sure to aggravate unagented (and poorly agented) authors, Jenna Bush has scored a high-powered literary agent — Robert Barnett. ..."

• Appearances Count (Limerick)
  "Her appearance took all by surprise,
  For her hair had succumbed to some dyes. ..."

• Bellicose Bush "I’ve finally figured out George Dubya’s philosophy: If you can’t solve a problem, make it bigger: ..."

• Belated Apology
  "“Your apology’s rather belated,”
  Said the gal to a fellow she hated. ..."

• Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
  "It is time for another Bush speech,
  Which leaves honor and facts in the breach. ..."

• Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview "Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it: ..."

• Musical Faux Pas
  "The solo violist played well,
  With strong bowing, tone clear as a bell. ..."

• Bush On The Couch; Dub On The Divan "Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview. ..."

• Deep Pockets/Pricey Dockets (Limerick)
  "If you’re broke, it ain’t smart to defame
  An affluent fellow’s good name. ..."

• Edu-Gaffe (Limerick)
  "Being accurate’s highly essential.
  This is math, not some course existential. ..."

• Leave No Campaign Plans Behind … in a Hotel Room
  "Rudy claims that he has expertise
  In security matters. Oh, please! ..."

• Ode To A Former Canadian Ice Shelf

• Those Appealing Lawyers (Limerick)
  "A litigant’s lawyer needs zeal
  When he argues a client’s appeal. ..."

• Shopping For A New President Would Be Nice "President Bush had some words of wisdom for us at Wednesday’s press conference: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.” ..."

• Accounting For That CPA
  "This accountant is no CPA,
  Though he hopes to become one some day. ..."

• Deal, Or No Deal? (Limerick)
  "You lied in your last deposition,
  Further weak’ning your flimsy position. ..."

• Practice, Practice, Practice (Limerick)
  "The teacher called out from his car:
  “Ma’am, your daughter’s a driver’s ed star. ..."

• Dog Days Of Roofing (Limerick)
  "Our roofers must enter your yard,
  But their access is blocked by your guard..."

• Wintry Woes
  "In winter, a job I’d not pick
  Is wielding an ice pick, when sick. ..."

• Is Mental Health Overrated? (Limerick)
  "There once was a drunken, loud fellow
  Who ordered his drinks with a bellow. ..."

• Ode To Ambling (Limerick)
  "Deserting my day-to-day scramble
  When the weather is nice, I will amble ..."

• Healthy, Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
  "My spouse likes to lie in the sun,
  Absorbing those rays just for fun. ..."

• I'm Not Bowled Over By Bowling "The last time I went bowling, I aimed my ball so badly, it went flying diagonally and landed in a neighboring lane. (On the other hand, I’m not half-bad at Wii-Bowling.) ..."

• Ode To The Bar Exam (Limerick)
  "'I’m worried I won’t pass the bar,'
  Cried the would-be attorney (no star). ..."

• Antique Antics (Limerick)
  "Is this lampshade antique or just old?
  They tell me it’s rare. I’m not sold. ..."

• Those &^%$#$% Auditions!!!
  "If a symphony job is your mission,
  You’d better learn how to audition. ..."

• Sibling Trickster (Limerick)
  "'Pick a card,' was a phrase I would hear
  As a child, from my brother, all year. ..."

• A Take-Charge Marriage (Limerick)
  "We’re both bossy, my husband and I.
  Domineering, some say with a sigh...."

• Litigation Ode (Limerick)
  "'You don’t care about others. You’re callous,'
  Said the plaintiff, with undisguised malice. ..."

• Is It Spring Yet? (Limerick)
  "We are having a foul-weather bout—
  Lots of snow, sleet, and hail—not a drought. ..."

• The Up Side Of Winter "Here’s another limerick about our recent New York snow and ice storm: ..."

• Why I Rarely Go To Parties
  "The minute I walked in the door,
  I was trapped by a talkative bore. ..."

• O'Donnell v. The Donald "Have you heard about the Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump feud? Yeah … like you could possibly avoid it. Those publicity-mongers deserve a limerick, don’t you think? ..."

• "A Way Forward?" To Where, Exactly?

• Ode To Diminished Expectations
  " Unanimous yeses for Gates,
  Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes. ..."

• What A Card!

• Ode To Dennis "Muslim Menace" Prager
  "I’m enraged at host Prager. Yes, Dennis.
  To the truth he is rather a menace, ..."

• Ode To Prosperity
  "The affluent prosper quite well,
  As their savings continue to swell. ..."

• Uncivil Drivel
  "The pundits incessantly muse,
  'Is it civil or not?' I’m confused, ..."

• Where's The Beef?

• Our Banished VEEP (Limerick)
  "He’ll be banished from office, VEEP Dick;
  Not his job, but his real estate pick. ..."

• Ode To Autumn

• Limerick For Bush's Brain
  " The man who’s called George Bush’s Brain
  Has been weakened. Yes, that much is plain...."

• Give Me An "A!"
  "When symphony instruments tune,
  They’re not matching the flute or bassoon; ..."

• Post-Election Haiku Trio (Fox News, Trent Lott, Joe Lieberman)

• Hack This Limerick (E-Voting Verse)
  "A ballot should faithfully note,
  Each candidate getting a vote. ..."

• Ballsy Limerick
  " Although males come equipped with two balls,
  There are men who ain’t ballsy at all. ..."

• Haiku For A Former "Genius" I was amused to read that, in the wake of last week’s Republican debacle, Karl Rove remains 'steadfast' ..."

• Mad Kane Gets Greedy
  "I am blissful, contented, and happy.
  The election results weren’t crappy. ..."

• A Convenient Noose "As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!” I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, ..."

• Thoughts Of Elections Past "A pair of poems today — more serious than usual – inspired by the latest attempt to swift-boat John Kerry. ..."

• Ode To Lynne Cheney
  "The author of Sisters, named Lynne,
  Thinks her party at all costs must win. ..."

• Nixing The Chicks (Haiku)

• Rush Limbaugh Verse
  " Limbaugh maligned Michael Fox,
  Who is ill and admired and rocks. ..."

• Leave No Bewildered Bush Behind (Haiku) "Dear Dub: You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help: ..."

• Chatty Jack "Jack Abramoff has been so helpful to the FBI’s widening corruption investigation, that they’ve given him his own desk. I never thought I’d say this, but keep up the great work, Jack! ..."

• Bush Stays His Lying Course "Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty. But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. ..."

• Wine Tasting Robots, Oh My! "Would you trust a wine tasting robot? What about a robot that thinks humans taste like bacon? ..."

• Dear Peggy "It’s always embarrassing for me to admit this, but Peggy Noonan and I went to the same high school – Massapequa High School on Long Island, New York. ..."

• Attention Wal-Mart ... Patients?
  "Wal-Mart is marketing health care
  Via clinics in stores. Near the hardware? ..."

• GOP Terror Ad Haiku

• Trade Deficit, Budget Deficit, Truth Deficit

• Ode To The Garish Katherine Harris
  "The gal who stole Bush his “election,”
  Now is spurned like a lethal infection. ..."

• The Buck Stops ... On Clinton?

• No Penance For Dennis?
  "Hastert is blaming his staff,
  But those in the know have to laugh. ..."

• Nuclear Test? Testy Prez
  "A part of the “axis of evil,”
  North Korea has caused some upheaval. ..."

• Ode To Keith Olbermann

• Ode To Genetically Altered Cats
  "Do cats make you suffer and wheeze?
  There’s a cure for some real hefty fees: ..."

• Dirty Denny
  "There once was a House Speaker Denny,
  With character not worth a penny. ..."

• Fordham Axed, Scapegoated To The Max
  "Congressman Reynolds’ charade
  Is dumping Kirk Fordham, his aide. ..."

• Hastert Haiku

• NIE Lies

• Foley's Folly
  "There once was a Congressman Foley,
  Who acted all pious and holy..."

• Torture Bill Haiku

• Ode To Spinach - Limerick
  "I’ve never been fond of fresh spinach,
  Or the cooked kind. That word makes my throat twitch..."

• Ode To GOP Hypocrisy
  "When accusations first arose
  V. Foley in the House.
  The GOP top leadership
  Was quiet as a mouse..."

• Bob Woodward, Born Again Journalist
  "State of Denial’s
  Bob Woodward’s new book.
  At long last he’s onto
  Those devious crooks..."

• Muted Media Blues
  "Civil war rages.
  Generals speak out.
  The press must be in cages:
  There’s a coverage drought..."

• Bush's Burst Bubble
  "Our housing bubble’s fin’lly burst,
  Our pockets picked by George The Worst..."

• Devilish Haiku

• Blog Relocation Limerick
  "Coding by hand is quite hard.
  It takes time from my being a bard..."

• Ode To Bush Loyalists
  "George Dub’s defenders shock me still,
  Especially those up on the Hill..."

• Bush Clouds Issue With "Clarity"

• Ode to Ann Althouse
  "Some bloggers are easily shocked
  When gal lefties don't look like they're jocks..."

• Ode to The Segway Scooter
  "The maker of scooters called Segway
  Has recalled them from road, walk, and hedgeway..."

• Bully Bush Political Haiku about GOP and Bush propaganda and bully pulpit abuse.

• Ode To ABC Political Haiku about ABC's 9-11 movie.

• The Rumsfeld Trap Two news haiku inspired by our charming "leaders."

• Hey Condi, When They Asked You To Be A Hands-On Secretary of State, This Isn't What They Meant
  "Like Rice, I'm a well trained musician.
  But if I were in Condi's position..."

• No Liebe For Lieberman
  "Joe Lieberman thinks he's entitled
  To votes and devotion unbridled..."

• Ode To The Groper
  "When diplomacy's needed, Bush gropes.
  With his veto, he murders our hopes..."

• Bush Isn't God. Who Knew?
  "The Supremes slapped George Dubya quite hard,
  Saying George, you ain't Czar, King, or God..."

• Coulter Heist
  "For Ann, facts are pests that intrude,
  And we've learned she's a plagiarist too..."

• (Peter) King-Sized Menace
  "Peter King and his ilk defy reason
  When they call the Times guilty of treason..."

• New Yawkers Are Polite ... So There!
  "New Yorkers are very polite,
  Says this study, and damn it, they're right!..."

• Swift Intrusions
  "From the Times we know Bush likes to sift
  Through our bank records managed by SWIFT..."

• Dub's Shriveling ... Coalition
  "George Dubya's Iraq coalition
  Is suff'ring from major attrition. ..."

• Arlen, The Intellectual?
  "Reid ain't a deep thinker, says Specter,
  The GOP's brain wave detector..."

• Specious Specter
  "There once was a Senator Specter,
  Who was briefly a Cheney defector..."

• Ann's Master Plan
  "A right-wingnut woman named Ann
  Had a book tour publicity plan..."

• Jeb For Prez?
  "George Dubya wants Jebby to win
  The White House, Dub says with a grin..."

• Arlen Specter Limericks & Humor

• Ann Coulter's Limericks & Verse

• Wedding Anniversary Limerick

• Ode To Rep. Jefferson
  "Rep. Jefferson seems to have stashed
  90 grand in his freezer - cold cash..."

• Frist And Hastert Rediscover The Constitution "Frist and Hastert don't care if the Bush administration invades the privacy of ordinary citizens. Nor do they seem bothered by the Executive branch's brazen power grab, evidenced by Bush's "de facto veto" signing statements, Congressional oversight avoidance, and sundry law breaking. But just let the Justice Department mess with one of their own..."

• Tabloid Times "It's only May 2006, and the New York Times is already doing trashy, tabloid-style coverage of the Clintons. What's the matter, New York Times? You didn't have a juicy Iran-war-inducing story to plant on your cover page? ..."

• Sleeper VEEP
  "There once was a GOP VEEP
  Who in meetings fell soundly asleep..."

• Big Boys Cry Uncle When Wrong
  "If someone used "gay" to mean coward,
  Aravosis would rightfully glower..."

• Net Neutrality Ad Madness
  "I've no problem with blogs hosting ads.
  But some of those ads make me sad..."

• We Have Bush's Number ... and He Has Ours
  "Most telcos caved in to requests
  From the Feds that fail privacy tests..."

• Mother's Day Limerick
  "A day that's unique, like no other,
  Is the day that we celebrate mothers..."

• Probable Cause To Spike Mike's Nomination

• Fishing For Accomplishments

• Tax Cut Haiku

• Ode To The Signing Statement and Other Limericks
  "Dub's never once vetoed a bill,
  Though he's threatened to, sounding quite shrill..."

• George Bush Has Been Urged To Clean House
  "George Bush has been urged to clean house,
  By his GOP pals and his spouse..."

• Only Lefties Are Crude. Who Knew?
  "Henninger waxes loquacious,
  Claiming blogs are unduly salacious..."

• Dubya Ain't Known For Decorum
  "Dubya ain't known for decorum.
  He'll embarrass at most any forum..."

• Scotty & Andy & Josh, Oh, My!
  "Bush once had a press guy named Scott,
  Who always looked sweaty and hot..."

• Ode To The Decider-In-Chief
  "The Decider-In-Chief's an angry man,
  Lambasting folks who Rumsfeld pan..."

• A Pair Of Limericks For A Six-Pack Of Generals
  "Some Gen'rals are filling our ears,
  With Rummy critiques and Bronx cheers..."

• Scalia's Stability Revisited
  "When questioned about his refusal
  To agree to a Dick case recusal..."

• Nuclear Limericks
  "When I heard that George Dubya had plans,
  To attack and launch nukes at Iran..."

• Ode to the Leaker-In-Chief
  "The latest revelation
  In the Scooter Libby case,
  Is that when it comes to leaking,
  Georgie Dub is quite the ace..."

• Tom DeLay Duo of Limericks
  "Tom's speech was jam-packed with some gems.
  His withdrawal he blamed on the Dems..."

• Tom DeLay Haiku

• Mugged By Dub's Drug Program -- Limerick
  "Dub's drug program's chock full of bugs.
  It's a gift to insurance co thugs..."

• Immigration Blather
  "The move to alter immigration laws
  For many's an excuse to jaw..."

• Saturday Silliness
  "Liberal bloggers are socialist tools..."

• Bloggers Cook? Who Knew?
  "Bloggers who can cook?
  Yes, it's hard to believe..."

• Ode To Scalia -- Limerick
  "Scalia's caught acting obscene,
  In a church yet, how shockingly mean..."

• Russ Feingold Verse
  "The praiseworthy Senator Russ
  Has created a rather big fuss..."

• The Donation That Keeps On Giving
  "Storm fund donors often earmark cash for food and meals..."

• The Rich And Unethical Harris - Limerick
  "The rich and unethical Harris
  For her record should feel quite embarrassed..."

• Only Bush Can Protect Us Some Say
  "Only Bush can protect us some say,
  Though George Dubya deceives us each day..."

• Bye-Bye Balls - Dubai Port Deal Limerick
  "There once was a fellow named Frist,
  Who quite loudly the seaport sale dissed..."

• It's Surely Snowing In Hell - Dubai Port Deal Verse
  "I never thought I'd see the day
  That I'd agree with Tom DeLay..."

• A State-Run Firm Based In Dubai - Limerick
  "A state-run firm based in Dubai,
  Is well known for its terrorist tie..."

• Cheney Misfires -- Big Time! & Other Political Verse
  "A fellow named Whittington, Harry,
  In the future will likely be wary..."

• Arlen & Alberto
  "Why was Arlen Specter loath
  To make Gonzales take the oath?..."

• Ode To Press Hypocrisy & Other Oprah Winfrey / James Frey Verse
  "An Oprah book author named Frey
  Wrote a memoir quite jam packed with lies..."

• Personal Poems For Some Sam Alito Filibuster Holdouts - Senators Byrd, Landrieu, Akaka, and Nelson
  "Sen. Byrd you're at times quite inspired,
  Speaking words that I've often admired.
  Now it's time to help muster..."

• If Not Now, Then When? -- Sam Alito In Verse -- Five Alito Related poems
  "Will Senate Dems preserve our rights
  And filibuster Sam?
  How 'bout it Dems? Let's see you fight
  And prove you give a damn..."

• A Bush Pioneer Who's Named Jack -- Limerick
  "A Bush pioneer who's named Jack
  Raised for Dubya a huge money stack..."

• George Bush Says His Spying Is Cool -- Limerick
  "George Bush says his spying is cool,
  And he broke not a law, nor a rule..."

• Did The White House On Christiane Spy? -- Limerick
  "Did the White House on Christiane spy?
  And on Rubin, a Kerry team guy?..."

• Consultation Dubya Style -- Limerick
  "When George Dubya extended that invite
  To Clintonites Perry and Albright..."

• Preacher Pat -- Limerick
  "Preacher Pat once again made me groan,
  When he spoke of the ailing Sharon..."

• A Congressman Known As Rep. Randy -- 2 Rep. Randy Cunningham Limericks
  "A Congressman known as Rep. Randy
  Found that yacht living's fun and quite dandy..."

• Ode To Bob Woodward
  "Bob Woodward had an ax to grind
  When Plamegate he critiqued.
  We've finally learned that Woodward
  Was the first to get that leak.
  He failed to tell his audience..."

• Yet Another Ode To Ann Coulter
  "Ann Coulter lacks powers of reason,
  Claiming Murtha-type Dems commit treason..."

• An Unscrupulous Fellow Named Jack
  "An unscrupulous fellow named Jack
  Has deep ties with Republican hacks..."

• A Rep From Ohio Named Jean -- Limerick
  "A Rep from Ohio named Jean
  Called John Murtha a coward. How mean! ..."

• Pat Robertson Does Dover -- Limerick
  "The Dover folks showed their defiance,
  When they nixed ID preaching with science..."

• Some Say That Reid's Act Was A Stunt -- Limerick
  "Some say that Reid's act was a stunt,
  Just a rude and unfair Frist affront..."

• 4 Sam Alito Limericks
  "There once was a judge named Alito,
  Who's often called Judge Sam Scalito.
  He's fond of state powers.
  At labor he glowers..."

• Fitzmas Madness (Poem about pre-Plamegate indictment anxiety)
  "I keep scanning the Net
  For some news from Pat Fitz.
  If he don't indict soon,
  I may go on the fritz..."

• The Judy Miller Quartet (of Limericks) (Four limericks about Judy Miller, The New York Times and the Plamegate investigation)
  "Ms. Miller has written her tale,
  And as tales go, it's rather a whale.
  Her memory's convenient,
  On Libby she's lenient..."

• Mired In Harriet Miers -- A Limerick & 2 Poems
  "Bush named the unqualified Miers
  To the Court when O'Connor retires.
  Her only credential..."

• The Blunt Punt Limerick
  "They Thomas DeLay did indict,
  And that filled me with joy and delight.
  They've replaced him with Blunt..."

• It's Another Bush Crisis
  "It's another Bush crisis,
  And day after day,
  Dub's stooges are spinning,
  While Bush says, "let's pray..."

• Tom DeLay Indictment Haiku

• Why Bother?
  "Judge John Roberts' confirmation
  Is a certainty, it's true.
  We're powerless to stop it..."

• Mr Propriety?
  "Judge Roberts is a fan of propriety,
  And maintaining his impartiality.
  Yet on Hamdan he ruled..."

• Rebuilder-in-Chief
  "George Bush said he'll Gulf Coast rebuild
  In a speech that was platitude filled.
  And he'll do it with cash..."

• Two John Roberts Limericks
  "Though Judge Roberts is getting a hearing,
  To measure his outlook and bearing,
  He's determined to hide..."

• A Trio of FEMA Limericks
  "The FEMA head Michael D. Brown
  Helped cause thousands to suffer and drown.
  Now he's dodging the blame.
  Who's at fault? Val'rie Plame? ..."

• Two Crackpot Pats
  "A broadcasting preacher named Pat,
  Who quite frequently talks through his hat..."

• Ode To Cindy Sheehan
  "The mother of a soldier dead
  Has Dubya running scared.
  Her very name fills Bush with dread.
  Face Sheehan? Dub don't dare..."

• Bolton and Novak and Bush, Oh My! -- 3 Limericks
  "George Dubya sure loves to vacation,
  And his workout time Dub rarely rations.
  He likes recesses too,
  For the power imbued..."

• War? What War?
  "The war on terror's going bad,
  So what's a Prez to do?
  He simply calls it something else.
  The "struggle" has debuted..."

• Supreme Court Shenanigans -- 3 Supreme Court Limericks
  "There once was a Justice O'Connor,
  The first Sup Court Judge called "Her Honor."
  Now O'Connor's resigned..."

• Two Limericks about Rove and Bush
  "Some say that Karl Rove should apologize,
  Cause he slandered the Dems with derisive lies..."

• The Doctor Turned Senator Bill -- Limerick
  "The doctor turned Senator Bill,
  Said John Bolton's appointment was killed..."

• Lynching Is Bad? Who knew?
  "The Senate said that lynching's bad.
  It took them long enough.
  It's hardly a position rad,
  Yet getting there was tough..."

• There Once Was A Compromise Deal
  "There once was a compromise deal,
  Entered into by "mod'rates" with zeal..."

• Ode To Misogyny
  "A liberal blogger named Kos
  Once was paid to offensive ad host..."

• Dopey Decision Explained In Verse
  "How dare you smoke that evil grass!
  Your pain is no excuse.
  The doctor who prescribed your weed,
  We'll string up with a noose..."

• A Pox On Cox's Nomination
  "Chris Cox is Dubya's nominee
  To head the SEC.
  A man who boosted corp'rate rights
  With fervor, zeal, and glee..."

• Some Say That George Dub's A Lame Duck -- Limerick
  "Some Say That George Dub's A Lame Duck,
  And that Dubya's agenda is stuck..."

• Injudicious Limericks A pair of limericks "celebrating" Bush judicial nominees Janice Rogers Brown and Priscilla Owen.

• The Top Secret Karl Rove Memo That Explains Everything
  "Never bother the Prez while he's having some fun,
  Or he's taking a nap, Or he's out for a run..."

• The Madness Is Back
  "I've been gone for two weeks.
  Did I miss something good?
  Didn't keep up with the news,
  Though I know that I should..."

• Cover Girl Coulter
  "The hate-spewing "pundit" named Ann,
  On Time's cover did manage to land..."

• AMT Owed Ode -- Tax Poem
  "The AMT's a sneaky tax.
  Though meant to snare the wealthy,
  It burdens workers to the max. ..."

• Can't Stem That Book Meme -- Poem About Blogging Memes
  "I try to shirk the memes that come around from time to time..."

• Nix The Nuclear Option -- Poem about the Senate Filibuster
  "With taunts and threats and lots of bluster..."

• Dems Revisited (April Fools' Day Poem)

• Bernie Ebbers Earns A Limerick
  "I knew nothing, said WorldCom Inc.'s Bernie,
  So I shouldn't make a prison-bound journey..."

• Dubya's Democracy Occupation
  "Democracy cannot succeed,
  Said Dubya with a glower.
  In countries that are occupied
  By mean old foreign powers..."

• A Baysider's Ode To Queens
  "Both a county and a borough,
  Part of New York City too.
  On Long Island, yet not of it.
  I'm confused as hell. Are you? ..."

• Please Tell Me We Aren't Through Fuming At Brit Hume
  "Did Fox's Hume betray his trust
  To viewers near and far?
  He surely did mislead them when he quoted FDR..."

• Ode To A Dull Drum Beat
  "Ev'ry ninety days or so,
  A blogger's post appears,
  That feigns concern for blogging gals
  Who pale beside male peers..."

• But Has He Ever Seen A Scanner?
  "In case there was ever a doubt at all
  That Dubya's out of touch,
  His answer to that three-job-mom
  Sure proves he don't know much..."

• The Gonzales Vote In Verse
  "Gonzales was a test of sorts:
  Can Democrats unite?
  Most Senate Dems came through for us,
  And fought for what was right..."

• "Jeff Gannon" Gets His Own Limerick
  "Dub's White House gave Jeff press credentials,
  Though he lacks all the media essentials..."

• Barbara Boxer Links In Verse
  "Profiled in the Mercury,
  Lauded by Birch Bayh,
  Speaking out on budget cons,
  And S.S. too. Oh, my..."

• There Once Was A Con Pulled By Bush
  "Claiming "crisis" in Social Security,
  Prez George Bush says he'll fix its impurity..."

• Limerick Madness
  "Saying "private" account proves we're biased,
  Charge the wingnuts in tones oh so pious..."

• Woe To The Foes Of Barb Boxer
  "Woe to the foes of Barb Boxer.
  They shouldn't even try to outfox her..."

• But What Kind Of Tree Would Bush Be?

• The New & Improved Alberto Gonzales
  "He'll obey our treaties,
  We'll be torture-free,
  Swears Alberto to the Senate,
  So they'll make him our A.G..."

• There Once Was A Year Named '04 It's time to review the horror referred to in polite company as 2004. But first, a limerick...

• Dupe-Meister Dub
  "Dubya's modus operandi
  Has become quite clear.
  Conj'ring up a looming crisis
  And inciting deep fear...."

• Time's Madman of the Year
  "Time's person of the year
  Is Bush once more.
  Cause he's good at spreading fear,
  And harming the poor?..."

• Bush To The Rescue
  "Our huge trade deficit's no big deal.
  According to Bush, it's easy to heal..."

• Kerik Alert
  "George Dubya's named his nominee
  To head Homeland Security.
  He's Rudy's man from head to toe.
  But why Bush wants him, I don't know..."

• Is There A Reader In The House?
  "Republicans have quite a scam:
  They load their bills with pork and ham,
  And sneak in clauses quite unfair,
  Whose merits aren't even aired..."

• Halliburton Blows
  "Dick's fav'rite co
  Has blown another job.
  Losing stuff's their mo,
  When they dare not rob..."

• Obligatory Post-Thanksgiving Poem
  "We visited my in-laws
  And we ate too fast.
  I fiddled on their piano,
  And we talked about the past...."

• Ernie Istook Explains All
  "I'm innocent,
  Says Rep. Istook.
  I'd never at your tax files look..."

• Ode To Alberto
  "Will the Dems roll over
  And give Gonzales a pass?
  Will anyone but Ted critique
  His sordid past..."

• Hail To The Hawks
  "Religious talk
  Of morals and faith
  Spews forth from hawks,
  Engendering hate..."

• But Does He Like Naked Statues? -- Limerick
  "The Geneva Conventions are quaint,
  Said Gonzales. A scholar, he ain't..."

• In The Year 2000
  "In the Year 2000,
  A man named Dub
  Stole our Prez election,
  Treated Dems like schlubs..."

• Georgie Dub
  "Georgie Dub still won't divulge
  The truth behind that telltale bulge..."

• Yet Another Anti-Bush Poem
  "Lost explosives -- many tons.
  Feeling safer anyone?
  Bush forgot to mind the store.
  Must not give him four years more..."

• Mary Cheney-nigans
  "Feigning righteous indignation,
  Rightwing zealots spout and yell..."

• Sinclair's Limerick
  "A media co. named Sinclair,
  Has decreed that its stations must air..."

• Battle of the Debate Bulge Limerick
  "Some think that George Dubya was wired,
  While debates with John Kerry transpired..."

• Cheney v. Edwards Limericks
  "There once was a Veep named Dick,
  Whose actions made liberals sick..."

• Sore Loser Limerick
  "There once was a man named George Dub,
  Who debated and mis'rably flubbed..."

• Blogtopian Ode
  "Will blogtopia be ruined
  By money, ads, and press?
  Will a few cash in and leave behind
  A sad, unholy mess..."

• Cheney's E-Bray
  "Be happy and be gay.
  It's a fabulous new day.
  Things are A-okay.
  Cause you're trading on eBay..."

• "W" Stands For What?
  "W" stands for "wrong,"
  Says Kerry on the stump.
  But some give "wrong" a gong,
  And say it should be dumped..."

• Odes to the "Zellot"
  "There once was a turncoat named Zell,
  Whose soul to George Bush he did sell..."

• Dub & Dick's Limerick
  "George Dub has a Veep named Dick Cheney.
  Next to Dub he appears rather brainy..."

• Ode to Our Misleader
  "We have a misleader named George.
  On power and lies he does gorge..."

• Ode to Ann Coulter
  "There once was wingnut named Ann,
  With one USA Today fan..."

• Dick's The Ticket
  "Dick Cheney's Halliburton teamed
  With evil axis, mad regimes,
  To make big bucks while Dick was CEO.

  Now Cheney lies and feigns and schemes..."

• Dub's Dream "A dictatorship would be easier, Bush has said in jest..."

• Bush Birthday Haiku

• Cheney 'Em All!
  "The "F word" and the "C word" and the "S word" and the rest
  Must make some room for "Cheney."
  As a curse word, it's the best..."

• Ode to the F-Word I couldn't resist waxing poetic about Vice President Dick Cheney's little temper tantrum...

• Number Fudging A La Bush

• Dubya's Plea
  Our Bishops need to do much more
  To safeguard all that's good,
  Said Dubya to the Pope when Dub
  Was in the neighborhood..."

• Dubya Takes The High Road

• Mis-Education President
  Bush swore he'd leave no child behind,
  A very worthy goal.
  Instead, he left the states a great big budgetary hole..."

• Alpha Politics
  "A" is for John Ashcroft and the liberties he's mauled.
  "B" is for Barb Bush and hub. Dub's birth is all their fault.
  "C" is for Ms. Condi Rice, who speaks so many lies.
  "D" is for the Dixie Chicks, who dare to Bush despise..."

• Ode To The August PDB
  "When Condoleezza Rice speaks out
  Does anybody buy her?
  It's hard to fathom how she fumbled warnings, oh so dire..."

• Brace yourself for "Operation Richard Clarke"

• AWOL Jobs
  "Our jobs are disappearing
  To nations far and wide.
  While Dubya has no plan at all
  To stem this risky tide..."

• Mass Distraction
  "A Massachusetts Liberal
  They call him with a hiss.
  For wingnuts could there ever be
  A better Kerry diss..."

• Ode To Feisty Franken
  "Ferocious Franken,
  Feisty Al's our man.
  He'll tackle hecklers sans battle plan..."

• Dubya's Poetic Injustice
  "A humble foreign policy,
  Bush promised way back when.
  Then wages war preemptively.
  For bloodshed Dubya yens..."

• Almanacs of Evil
  "If you dare to use an almanac,
  The Feds are on your case.
  You may swear you're not a maniac,
  But charges you could face..."

• So What's The Dif?
  "So what's the dif?
  Said Bush in a tiff..."

• Dubya's Travels, Brit Travails
  "George Bush so wants to greet the Queen
  And pose for photo ops.
  He'd also love some signs unseen,
  Their bearers nabbed by cops..."

• General Boykin's Ballad
  "We're at war against Satan?
  A startling idea!
  That explains all the hatin'
  And mongering fear..."

• Ode to the Barbed Bushes
  "George Dubya's mom goes on TV
  To plug her book and whine.
  She brags about her Forty-three.
  Says Dems shouldn't Dub malign..."

• Press Filter Follies (Dubya's Anti-Media Poem)
  "An evil filter is the press.
  They lie and say Iraq's a mess.
  Though things are going great down there,
  You'll never hear it on the air..."

• Arnold's Ode
  "California's picked a gov.
  One that's not reproach above.
  Gave Gray Davis quite a shove.
  California's picked a gov..."

• Power Pols
  "How the politicians glower
  When they're blamed for losing power.
  Make excuses by the hour,
  Faces grim and oh so dour..."

• The Rummy Poem Slate Missed
  "Don Rumsfeld wants some muting
  Of news that he's disputing
  And photos he's refuting,
  Cause we've won every fray..."

• Disinfo Ode
  "Are we being misled
  By reporters embed
  Spewing info spoon-fed?
  Is the truth being shred..."

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