March 2, 2008 Election '08 Haiku

• U.S. middle class
  Nickel-and-dimed by George Bush.
  Change way overdue.

• “People want change,”
  Claim presidential candidates.
  I’d prefer twenties.

January 9, 2008 Hillary Haiku

• “Hillary cried,”
  The media lied.
  Who’s crying now?

December 8, 2007 Weathering Bush

• I shovel the snow
  As Bush blares through my head phones,
  Shov’ling something else.

November 4, 2007 First Pakistan, And Then... (Two Haiku)

• Musharraf declares
  Martial law in Pakistan.
  Bush lets freedom ring.

  Emergency rule.
  Constitution suspension.
  Dick Cheney’s wet dream.

October 31, 2007 Heckofa Job, Karen!

• Karen Hughes resigned
  From her boost-our-image job.
  Mission accomplished?

October 30, 2007 Tough Talk Obama-Style

• I’ll be more forceful
  Against Hillary Clinton.
  I mean it this time.

October 25, 2007 Unfair Censorship Of Plame's Fair Game

• Plame’s book censored by
  Bush blackguards, who black out truths
  Already revealed.

October 25, 2007 Blithe Dana

• The White House isn’t
  Concerned about the war’s cost.
  Isn’t that special?

October 22, 2007 Too Close To Call

• “It’s too close to call,”
  When said of elections, means
  “Close enough to steal.”

October 18, 2007 Methinks Bush Doth Be Defensive

• George Bush feels the need
  To brag that he’s relevant.
  What would Shakespeare say?

October 17, 2007 How?

• How do they weather
  that initial door knock with
  news: “Your loved one’s dead.”

October 9, 2007 SCHIP Haiku

• Bush vetoed S-CHIP
  Cuz he had a better plan:
  No Child Left Alive.

September 20, 2007 The Rudy Complex

• Giuliani brags
  About how famous he is.
  Like Napoleon?

September 16, 2007 Curb Your Age Of Turbulence Enthusiasm

• Panning fiscal acts
  He once endorsed, Greenspan feigns
  Bystander status.

September 15, 2007 Spam Haiku

• "Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku. ..."

September 10, 2007 Bush's Magic Formula For Iraq Violence Reduction

• Reducing violence
  In Iraq is quite easy:
  Redefine violence.

August 27, 2007 Dirty White House Complains About Gonzales "Mud"

• Dub’s dirty secrets
  Created the “mud” Bush claims
  Gonzales dragged through.

August 17, 2007 Selling Tickets To Brooke Astor's Funeral -- Scam Or Satire?

• Craigslist ticket ad
  For Brooke Astor’s funeral:
  Masterful satire.

August 9, 2007 Bush's Private Podium -- The Real Dope (3-Liner, But Not A Haiku)

• Bush on his podium
  Fills me with odium.
  Pass the Imodium.

July 21, 2007 Probing Question (Haiku About Bush Colonoscopy)

• Dick Cheney’s in charge
  While George Bush is unconscious.
  How’s this day different…?

July 3, 2007 Lawless President Pays Off Law-Breaker Libby

• Bush obstructs justice,
  Rewarding Scooter’s silence:
  Prison-free pay-off.

June 21, 2007 Bush Stems Progress

• Bush stem cell veto
  Kills the hopes of the ailing,
  Says “no” to science.

June 7, 2007 Bush's Language Police Foiled By Bush/Cheney Expletives

• Fleeting expletives
  Uttered by Bush and Cheney
  Stymie censorship.

March 5, 2007 A Waxman Haiku Is Overdue

• Investigations
  Into White House wrongdoing
  Wax, thanks to Waxman.

November 21, 2006 Fair And Balanced Haiku

• Democratic win
  Is Terrorist Victory:
  Fair and balanced Fox.

November 21, 2006 Joe's Jive

• Joe warns: Compromise
  And heed election’s lessons.
  A not so veiled threat?

November 21, 2006 Trent Lott's Revenge

• GOP misdeeds
  Make Lott look nearly saint-like,
  Enabling comeback.

November 13, 2006 Haiku For A Former "Genius"

• Dream of Bush’s Brain:
  Permanent Majority,
  Surgic’ly removed.

November 5, 2006 A Convenient Noose

• Saddam’s death sentence.
  Serendipitous? Hardly!
  Leave no scheme behind.

November 1, 2006 Thoughts of Elections Past

• Kerry’s mad as hell
  And won’t take it anymore.
  Late, but still welcome.

October 30, 2006 Nixing The Chicks

• NBC nixes
  Ad for Dixie Chicks movie.
  Flips bird at fairness.

October 26, 2006 Rush Limbaugh Verse

• Limbaugh’s Fox attack:
  Pestilence in broadcasting,
  Toxic radio.

October 25, 2006 Leave No Bewildered Bush Behind

• Dear Dub,

  You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between "tactics" and "strategy." Perhaps this haiku will help:

  Tactic: Language games.
  Strategy: Deceive voters.
  Goal: Win at all cost.
  

October 20, 2006 GOP Terror Ad Haiku

• What Atrios said, but in a pair of haiku:

  Bin Laden is back,
  Touted in GOP ads.
  They're proud of failure?

  Frightening people
  Is the goal of terrorists,
  Like the GOP.
  

October 11, 2006 The Buck Stops ... On Clinton?

• The Buck Stops ... On Clinton?
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  North Korea’s nukes
  Are Clinton’s fault, claims McCain.
  Bill’s still Prez? Who knew?

October 4, 2006 Hastert Haiku

• Hastert Haiku
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Hastert must resign
  Because of his coverup.
  No “buts,” no delay.

September 29, 2006 Torture Bill Haiku

• Torture Bill Haiku
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  The Constitution
  Was cast aside by Congress.
  Hideous corpus!

  (My political poetry is here, my media satire is here, my political satire blog is here, and my non-political humor blog is here.)

September 26, 2006 Devilish Haiku

• Devilish Haiku
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Is Bush the Devil,
  Or just an evil-doer?
  Either way it’s hell.

September 12, 2006 Bully Bush; Framing The Season (Haiku about GOP Propaganda)

• Bully Bush
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Bush bully pulpit
  Catapults propaganda,
  Just as he promised.

• Framing The Season
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  GOP slogan:
  Security September,
  Their frightful campaign.

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September 7, 2006 Ode To ABC (Haiku about 9-11 Movie)

• Ode To ABC
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  ABC movie
  Shifts Nine-one-one blame through lies,
  To steal votes from Dems.

  (My political poetry is here, my media satire is here, my political satire blog is here, and my non-political humor blog is here.)

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September 7, 2006 The Rumsfeld Trap; The Difference Between Republicans & Democrats (Haiku)

• Two news haiku inspired by our charming "leaders:"

  The Rumsfeld Trap
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Rummy's just one man.
  It's The Policies, Stupid.
  See forest, not trees.

  (Thanks to Matt Yglesias and Atrios for pointing out that those who focus too much on the evils of Don Rumsfeld are missing the big picture.)

  The Difference Between Republicans & Democrats
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Republicans chide
  The press, when it tells the truth.
  Dems decry press lies.

  (My political poetry is here, my news haiku page is here, my political satire blog is here, and my non-political humor blog is here.)

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May 12, 2006 Telco Haiku

• Telco Haiku
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  With threats, maybe bribes
  Feds coaxed our files from phone cos.
  Big Brother Bell Hell.

  (You can find my political poetry here.)

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May 10, 2006 Tax Cut Haiku

• Tax Cut Haiku
  By Madeleine Begun Kane

  Waxing deficits,
  Lax, ballooning war budget,
  The stench of tax cuts.

  You can find my money and tax humor here.

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May 7, 2006 Fishing For Accomplishments

• I couldn't resist writing a haiku in honor of Bush's self-described "best moment" in office:

  Dub's best time as Prez?
  Catching a big fish, he says.
  Perch. Not bin Laden.

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April 9, 2006

• DeLay has resigned,
  So House cleaning's started, but
  We're still infested.

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September 28, 2005

• DeLay's indictment.
  Long awaited by lib'rals.
  The delay's over.

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August 29, 2005

• Bush on vacation.
  So can you tell the diff'rence?
  DC less toxic.

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September 30, 2004

• Opponents debate,
  While U.S. citizens wait
  To be told who won.

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September 27, 2004

• My latest haiku feature Dubya v. Kerry, Edwards v. Cheney, and Buckingham Palace:

  Dubya v. Kerry:
  Which man is likely to win?
  It's debatable.

  Edwards v. Cheney,
  Tort lawyer v. Tort Feasor,
  Lawyer v. Liar.

  Man in Batman garb
  Scales Buckingham Palace wall.
  Skirts security.

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September 15, 2004

• My latest haiku feature assault weapons, Bob Novak, Tom Ridge, a cabbie with a quirky sideline, and "pajama blogging:"

  Assault weapons ban
  Has lapsed, due to Bush flip-flop.
  Why does Bush hate cops?

  Plame-Gate's Bob Novak
  To CBS: "Reveal source."
  Reveals no remorse.

  Ridge says terrorists
  Hope to disrupt election.
  Their names? Bush/Cheney.

  NYC cabbie
  Runs dating co for riders.
  Traffics in matches.

  "Pajama blogging."
  Valid criticism, or
  Naked jealousy?

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September 6, 2004

• My latest haiku feature Zell Miller and his good pal George.

  Zell betrayed the Dems,
  Slurred Kerry for GOP.
  He's Rove's problem now.

  Bush sees U.S. as
  A child who needs parenting.
  Just like the Bush twins.

  Bush has failed this term
  By any fair measurement.
  Leave Dubya behind.

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September 1, 2004

• My latest haiku feature Rod Paige, Bill Frist, Arnold, and the Bush twins:

  Paige tells Convention
  No Child Left Behind is great.
  Paige leaves truth behind.

  Frist slams lawyers for
  Insurance hikes really caused
  By bad investments.

  Arnold says Dems are:
  "Economic girlie men."
  Botoxified brain?

  Dubya's twin daughters:
  Ditzy, vapid, clueless, dim.
  Chips off the cleared brush.

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August 31, 2004

• "We will win," says Bush,
  After saying that we can't.
  Flip-Flopper-In-Chief.

  McCain applauds Bush,
  As if Bush never wronged him.
  Ambition trumps pride.

  Mocking war wounded
  With purple heart bandages.
  Heartless right-wingers.

  Hastert slurs Soros.
  Links him to drug bucks sans proof.
  Two-hundred proof sleaze.

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August 30, 2004

• Today's haiku feature "moderates" on stage plus convention confetti made up of (believe it or not) pictures of George & Laura Bush and Dick & Lynne Cheney:

  Bush/Cheney photos
  On Convention confetti.
  Freedom haters rain.

  Moderates on stage.
  Extremists calling the shots.
  Dub dictatorship.

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August 20, 2004

• Today's news haiku feature Ralph Nader, Bush misspeaking for a change, and lawn sign thievery:

  Nader's ballot chase
  Stalled by legal challenges.
  Unsafe at all speeds.

  "Soviet dinar,"
  Said Bush, instead of "ruble."
  Wrong on the money.

  Lawn sign thievery
  By Texan Peter Sessions.
  Par for Repub's course.

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August 19, 2004

• Today's haiku feature peaceful protest discounts, Halliburton favors, Republican Astroturf, and the Plame investigation:

  Discount ticks, cheap wings
  Seduce peaceful protesters.
  Others jailed for free.

  Army reverses
  Halliburton punishment.
  Cheneyed yet again.

  Editors duped by
  Republican Astroturf.
  Outed by Google.

  Plame press subpoenas:
  Tough investigation, or
  Bush election stall?

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August 13, 2004

• Today's news haiku feature record high deficits and Halliburton:

  Record deficits:
  The product of voting for
  A "fuzzy math" Prez.

  Halliburton's books
  Off by almost 2 billion.
  But who is counting?

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August 10, 2004

• Today's haiku feature Peggy Noonan, Bush ads, and "four more years of hell."

  Peg Noonan's on leave.
  The GOP's her new boss.
  Same as the old boss.

  Bush ads shift focus
  To George Bush's achievements.
  Briefest ads ever.

  Four more years of hell.
  That's what Bush fans seem to crave.
  These people need help.

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August 7, 2004

• Today's haiku feature an Al Qaida double agent outing and Alan Keyes:

  Bush campaign outs an
  Al Qaida double agent.
  Screw-up, or treason?

  Carpetbaggers bad,
  According to Alan Keyes.
  Bags view to bag job?

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August 4, 2004

• Today's haiku feature the Bush twins, Kerry and Bush on the campaign stump, and two unexpected candidates:

  Plane detours for twins,
  Inconveniencing many.
  Rename it bUSh Air.

  Kerry rallies draw
  Many thousands more than Bush.
  Hope and help trump "hell."

  Alan Keyes may run
  Against Barack Obama
  And towards Illinois.

  Candidate James Hart,
  GOP eugenics fan.
  He should fit right in.

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August 3, 2004

• With luck, my "Daily News Haiku" will appear ... uh ... daily. Here's today's edition:

  "Our economy
  Is on the right track," says Don.
  Let's try the left track.

  "They hate our freedoms."
  "Extend the Patriot Act."
  Who hates our freedoms?

  Terror alerts based
  On data predating the
  August PDB.

  Halliburton sued
  Retirees who dared complain.
  Must like trial lawyers.

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August 2, 2004

• Ever since my Bush birthday haiku experiment, I've wanted to play some more with that much-harder-than-it-looks 17 syllable form. If it works out, I'll probably make News Haiku a regular feature:

  Bush goes on the stump
  And dares say, "results matter."
  Is Dubya on drugs?

  We've turned the corner
  And we are not turning back.
  More threat than promise.

  Bush claims of Kerry:
  "No signature achievements."
  While budget gap swells.

  Berger Nine-One-One
  Accusations trumpeted.
  Cleared sotto voce.

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July 7, 2004

• Well, yesterday was the big day! No, I'm not talking about Kerry's "Edwards is my running mate, even though he's much cuter and more charming than I am, damn him" announcement.

  Okay, that was important too, I'll grant you. But here's the really big news which, tragically, got lost in the VEEP hoopla: July 6 was Dubya's birthday, and Birthday Boy Bush got a special delivery gift from the DCCC folks over at The Stakeholder -- thousands of Bush birthday haiku, the results of a contest run by those creative rabble-rousers. And I'm pleased to say that one of my own contributions made it into the DCCC's Top Ten Bush Birthday Haiku list. Here's my winning entry:

  Happy birthday, Dub.
  The Presidency, you flubbed.
  Back to Crawford, bub!

  And yes, I know that, technically, haiku isn't supposed to rhyme. But you don't expect me to let a little thing like a poetry rule stand in my way, do you? Okay, just to prove I too can be obedient on occasion (but please don't tell hubby Mark), here's my non-winning entry:

  "Let freedom reign," George?
  We know that you meant "wane," George.
  You are freedom's bane.

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