Dubya's White House Daze -- Week 69   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

May 13, 2002

Dear Diary -- Damn! The Connecticut Dept. of Transportation is puttin signs on a coupla highways, sayin "Welcome to New Haven, Connecticut, Birthplace of George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States." I hate it when people mess with my Texas image!

So I told Ashy ta stop the signs, but he said he can't on accounta states' rights. I liked states' rights a whole lot better when I was runnin Texas.

Which reminds me -- that annoyin Schumer's makin noise bout our new position on my favorite amendment. He's all in a tizzy just cause we decided that the 2nd amendment protects private gun ownership. He's even bitchin that I'm interferin with states' rights. Hey, I'm all fer states' rights -- so long as the state is right -- hahaha!

May 15, 2002

Dear Diary -- Damn that Prince Abdullah! He dissed me big time -- in public yet -- & even said I need ta brush up on the Mideast. I'm so steamed, I may ask Poppy ta call & put him in his place.

This is all Bill Clinton's fault on accounta that secret meetin he had with the Prince when nobody was lookin. I bet Clinton acted real smart on purpose, just ta make me look bad.

And speakina has-been Ex-Prezes tryin ta make me look bad, Jimmy Carter's at it again, makin mischief in Cuba. He actually announced that we don't have any proof that Cuba's engaged in terroristic activities. Which is true of course, but that doesn't mean he's allowed ta say it.

And Ex-Veeps are makin noise too. Quayle's been talkin family values again, which I don't mind so much, cause he talks worse than me.

But Gore I mind! He says that using the 9/11 photo of me phonin Dick from the plane ta raise money is exploitin dead folks. He's just jealous cause it wasn't him fleein DC on Air Force One.

I've gotta go now & congratulate Ari on his latest success -- that mean Bill Maher's bein bounced off the air.

May 17, 2002

Dear Diary -- I don't know who ta blame first. Cynthia McKinney? CBS & the resta the liberal media? The whole damn Dem party? All I know is I need some great spin & I need it now!

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