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April 8, 2002

Dear Diary -- What a miserable weekend! Ta start with, me & Tony couldn't do any fun outdoor stuff cause it rained. Which we need in Crawford, but not when I'm there.

Plus Sharon dissed me on the phone & he shows no signs a heedin my call ta withdraw without delay. I don't wanna hear how he sympathizes with my position, damn it! I wanna see action & I wanna see results!

Then there's Arafat who's beyond belief stubborn -- he always acts like he's holdin cards. And he won't even pretend ta renounce terrorism.

Anyway, I still say this whole mess is Clinton's fault, even though they made me pretend I never blamed him. Which woulda been bad enuff, but then Powell went on some TV show & said all kindsa nice things about Clinton. He even said Clinton gave it his all. Where does Powell come off talkin like that? And besides, like I said the other day, if yur gonna call a summit, you sure as hell better succeed at your summitin.

The only good part is Tony's backin me in his own namby-pamby way. And at least he's not one a those handwringin Eurowimps. But I sure wish he didn't keep makin me look bad in press conferences. He's too damn good at that nuance business.

Tony really seemed ta enjoy our pecan-smoked beef tenderloin dinner. And he even liked the calf-fries ... till I told him what they are.

April 10, 2002

Dear Diary -- Boy am I in a terrible mood! Powell's gettin a bad Mideast reception. Israel's still defyin me. And some hecklers sneaked inta one a my speeches, & I had ta shout ta be heard. Plus my poll numbers dropped, & my head still hurts from when I pulled a Jerry Ford gettin outta the plane.

So I'm in no mood ta do the diary thing. Though I did write a song.

April 12, 2002

Dear Diary -- I gave one a my faith-based charity speeches Thursday & it went real good. I love tellin people that the government shouldn't discriminate against religion, cause it's lotsa fun gettin those no-good atheists riled up. Even more fun than pushin people to join Senior-Corpse.

And I also like explainin the golden ruler thing -- "Ya should love your neighbor & make your neighbor love ya back." Nope, that's not right. Maybe it's "If your neighbor loves you, be sure ta love him too." No, that doesn't sound right either. But I'm almost positive it has somethin ta do with neighbors lovin each other, but without the sex.

I just hope the Dems don't block my faith-based tax bill. Which reminds me, I got a big time kick outta Lott's latest scheme ta punish the Dems fer borkin Pickering & delayin my other judge nominees. He's accusin the Dems a discriminatin against Miguel Estrada cause he's Hispanic. Now that's what I call creative!

The idea tickled me so much, I'm almost ready ta forgive Lott fer sayin -- in public yet -- that if Powell fails, I should go ta the Mideast. What's he tryin ta do? Stick me in a failed summit? Get me killed so he can run fer Prez? I take it back -- I'm still mad at him.

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