Dubya's Early White House Daze -- Week 9   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

March 19, 2001

Dear Diary -- The medias been even meaner than usual the last coupla days so I guess my engagement is offishully over.

Fer instance that Paul Krugman is using fuzzy math on my tax plan again. And the NY Times let some girl writer Gail Collins say I broke campaign promises and am runnin the country like Pets.com. At first nobody knew what the Pets.com thing meant. But then some secretary (not the Cabinet kind -- the real kind) whose into the internet superhighway told us its an insult.

Dick tells me the ultra liberal ABA is all upset cause we're gonna stop lettin them screen judge candidates. I dont understand why people who only have a BA ever had any say over judgeships.

Speakin of things I dont understand, we all had a big laugh over Army berrets this morning. Until Ari explained it, I thought the berret thing had something to do with Monica.

Gotta get to to the gym before Dick comes by & tries to make me work.

March 21, 2001

Dear Diary -- On Monday I had a workin lunch with some big honcho from Japan. I hate workin during lunch but they made me. They also made me serve something fancy -- I was more in the mood for peanut butter and jelly.

It turns out those Japanese folks are still mad about the fishin boat problem. They sure know how to hold a grudge!

I really wanted a nap after lunch but I had to meet with some energy taxforce. We talked about the state thats been havin blackouts lately -- it begins with a C I think. And they reminded me to keep pretendin to be upset by the Opec cutbacks.

Yesterday was fun cause I got to repeel a buncha Clinton work safety rules. After I was done with the signing Dick asked if my hand hurt and we all laughed a lot.

I also met with someone from Isreal and had a press conference. A cell phone rang during the conference and I got to show how powerful I am by yelling at an aid.

March 22, 2001

Dear Diary -- So far its been a great week. I even got to expunge a buncha Russians!

And yesterday I undid another Clinton rule -- some enviro thing about mining and letting arsenic get into water. At first I dint wanna cause I always thought arsenic was bad. But then Dick reminded me if Clinton's for it we're agin it. Besides we always drink bottled water.

I also told a buncha cardiologists I wont approve the Senates Patients Last Rites Bill. And that I'd only support a plan based on sound principals. Dick wanted me to sign the Senate bill, but Karl told Dick not to go soft on us. He also said we owe HMOs big time. And that I'm doing a good job makin believe I care about patients rites.

March 23, 2001

Dear Diary -- The Russians are threatening to punish me by throwin out a buncha our men. And some news guys are sayin there may be another Cold War. At first I was upset. But then Dick and Rummy reminded me that thats exactly the plan.

Speakin of war, yesterday we declared war on siber-terrorists and I got real excited. But then I found out guns arent involved.

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