Dubya's White House Daze -- Week 57   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

February 19, 2002

Dear Diary -- Everyone's in a tizzy on accounta me mixin up deflation & devaluation when I was in Japan. They even say my mistake made financial markets wobble. But I don't see what the big deal is. Japan's economy sucks big time anyway. And Japan refuses ta take my advice & increase jobs by cuttin taxes on rich folks. So they pretty much deserve what they get. Besides, it's not like I threw up on anyone.

Though I came pretty damn close when they made me eat yakitori with Koizumi. All I wanted ta do was order peanut butter & jelly from room service. And maybe some cheese doodles. Which reminds me -- why the hell don't the Japanese melt cheese on their rice?

But at least I enjoyed the bow & arrow horseback show which also begins with a ya. Plus Koizumi gave me a cool drawin which shows me as a Japanese archer firin an arrow. It's a perfect gift with me bein so busy goin ta war. Though it'd be even better if I was shootin a gun.

Of course the best parta bein outta the country is Hissyfit Hastert can't hassle me bout campaign finance reform. I hear he's still PO'd cause he says me givin mixed signals the day they voted undermined his opposition. Of course I gave mixed signals. How else my supposed ta take credit no matter which way things go?

Feb. 21, 2002

Dear Diary -- I've just bout had it with Asia. Japan was bad enuff, but South Korea's really the pits! Plus they made me tone down my lingo & it really cramped my style. What's the fun a speechifyin if I can't scare the bejesus outta everyone in the room?

And the press here are even pestier than the ones in the Homeland. They insist on askin questions even when I'm not in the mood. One cool thing though -- Karen taught me a word that gets me outta questions I don't wanna answer. I just say it's mute & demand another one.

Visitin the DMZ was worthwhile, I suppose, cause it shows the difference between good & evil back ta back. Plus the view with binos was real amazin. Especially after I unscrewed the lens cap.

Laura thinks I should enjoy the sights & have a good time, and I suppose she's right. Still, I'm countin the hours till I can eat Texas beef & do my run on Merican ground.

In the meantime, I'll take Laura's advice & try ta stay calm. But they'd better stop askin me bout Kim's sunshine policy. Cause supportin a united Korea makes me wanna puke. And gives me a hankerin fer moonshine.

Feb. 23, 2002

NOTE FROM MAD KANE: This is a special weekend feature, in honor of the GAO lawsuit. Also, Happy Birthday to a Great Mom! Aren't you glad you taught me this children's song?