Dubya's White House Daze -- Week 56   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

Feb. 11, 2002

Dear Diary -- I gave another "rah rah let's roll" speech at the Olympics opener & then headed off ta Jackson Hole. I was gonna stick round fer a buncha the games, but it turns out there isn't any baseball. What the hell kinda Olympics is that?

While I was out in Salt Lake I met that cute Sasha Cohen, who supposedly skates real good. I don't know bout that. But like I told her mother on the phone, that's one well behaved little girl. Maybe we shoulda given the twins skatin lessons.

I wanted ta keep hidin out in Jackson Hole on accounta this week's campaign finance reform vote. Cause the Shays bill is givin Hastert a hissy fit, & he's takin it out on me. But like I keep tellin him, though I'd really like ta help, he's mostly on his own. Cause my twistin arm's been Enronized.

And there's more bad news -- the FBI didn't get Johnny Walker Lindh's confession in writin. If that screwup gets him off, I'm gonna be real steamed. But Poppy says don't worry, cause no juror'll feel sorry fer that poor, misguided Marin County hot tubber.

I sure hope he's right. But just in case he isn't, I'm keepin my spankin new cowboy hat handy. Cause modelin that $2500 gift from the Beef Association is a surefire way ta cheer myself up.

Laura thinks that wearin such a fancy, custom built hat'll hurt my man a the people image. But I told her not ta worry -- it goes perfect with my custom boots.

I also said she should stick ta readin & lookin pretty. And ta leave the politics ta me.

Feb. 13, 2002

Dear Diary -- Damn it all! There's a leak in the White House, & Card better seal it up fast -- unless he doesn't care bout keepin his job. Somehow the NY Times found out I'm usin the RNC ta stop campaign finance reform. And that I'm only pretendin I've got nothin ta do with it. It even says my aides told em I'm tryin ta be invisible on the issue cause I'm worried bout Enron political fallout. Damn right! Only how my supposeta stay invisible when my big-mouth aides blurt it ta the Times?

Plus the Times said I'm pushin fer a big-money-from-individuals "Kenny Boy exception," which of course I am, but it's none a their damn beeswax.

And on topa that, Weasley Waxman's makin all kindsa trouble again, demandin a probe into Enron's political activities. He even wants ta know bout political candidates usin Enron jets -- my favorite transport except fer Air Force One.

Of course Waxman's pressurin Dan Burton bout the probe -- & Burton's just crazy enuff ta go along with it. Expecially since he's still mad on accounta that dig bout Waxman bein at riska transformin himself into the Dan Burton of the Democrats. Ari and his big mouth!

And speakena Enron, Ken Lay took the the 5th yesterday. He said he really wanted ta talk but his lawyer wouldn't let him. Yeah -- right. Even I couldn't sell that line.

Anyway, I'm sure glad Lay's lawyer "made" him take the 5th. Otherwise I'd a needed a 5th myself.

Feb. 15, 2002

Note From Mad Kane: Dubya's next entry will be on Feb. 19th. In the meantime, I hope you'll check out my "Let's Roll" Trademark Adversaries Unite Against President Bush. And please don't miss my Latest Humor page.

Dubya's Dayly Diary Main Page

Dubya's Dayly Diary Archives

Ode To Kenny Boy (To be sung to the tune of "Danny Boy")

Dick Cheney Parody Interview

Pretzel Producers Allege Dubya Defamation, File Multibillion Buck Lawsuit

Comics' Relief: Late Night Comedians Begin Group Therapy

George Dubya Bush Channeler Seeks Therapy

Subscribe to MadKane Humor

Mad Kane's Latest Humor Columns

Liberal Links

Return Home (MadKane.com)