Dubya's White House Daze -- Week 55   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

Feb. 5, 2002

Dear Diary -- Yesterday was "New Realities" Budget Day. And what a great budget it is, with almost everything going ta my favorite stuff. Like the military, homeland security, & tax cuts fer my friends. Plus TV ads that say "fight terrorism by fightin illegal drugs." Unless the drugs come from pals like the Northern Alliance.

Of course there's not much left ta spend on anything else -- just like we planned when I first agreed ta run.

Naturally the Dems are real steamed, but all they can do is make noise. Cause here's another New Reality -- Dick & I can do whatever the hell we please.

I'm also prouda my government reform plan, which uses performance ratins ta stops wasteful spendin. Fer instance, if a program I don't like flunks the test, that program gets punished with zero dinero. But if a program I do like flunks the test, it gets mucho moro dinero. Cause that's how things work when Merica's at war.

Which reminds me -- Condy's doin a great job tellin our nambypamby pals what's what. I can't believe they're still freakin out over the Evil Axis thing. Cause like I love ta say, you're either with me or agin me. And if our so-called allies don't clean up their act, that Evil Axis just might get bigger.

Speakina tuff gals, Dick's better half came up with a great way ta get me more supporters. History teach-ins! She says they'll help Mericans learn what freedoms I'm defendin. Like freedom a speech --- hahaha!

Note ta self: Ask Lynne what other books I should pretend ta be readin.

Feb. 7, 2002

Dear Diary -- I'm real PO'd cause Dastardly Daschle's refusin ta bring my stimulus package to a vote. But Karl says it's actually good fer the GOP. Cause from now on everyone can call Daschle a "Stimulus Killer." And claim that the "Do Nothin Daschlecraps" want the recession ta continue, so they can blame the economy on Republicans & steal their seats. It sounds like Limbaugh got his hearin back just in time!

I wanted ta add that great "Stimulus Killer" stuff ta my Olympics Opener speech, but they won't let me. They said it isn't the right forum. Also, I'm bipartisan -- hahaha! Too bad -- Daschle & his Daschlecraps woulda made a great addition ta my Evil Axis.

Which reminds me -- I'm also PO'd at Powell cause he told people my Evil Axis line doesn't mean we're gettin ready ta invade anyone. Or that we're not willin ta talk. What the heck happenened ta that guy's leash?

I'm probably just in a bad mood cause I was stuck in NYC yesterday. Makin nice bout that money I promised em. And raisin funds fer Pataki who I don't even like.

Jeez I hate that place! Those people have no preciation fer family values. Though, like I told Roy Blunt the last time I went there, it turns out New Yorkers can wave with all of their fingers, after all.

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