Dubya's White House Daze -- Week 44   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

Nov. 19, 2001

Dear Diary -- From now on I'm gonna invite more foreign leaders ta Texas. Cause it's a great excuse ta spend long weekends at the ranch!

Of course I was hopin to stay there thru Thanksgivin weekend. But with the war & everthin else goin on, they said it'd look bad. Besides, it's easier ta take all the credit fer the Plane Bill with a big signin ceremony at Reagan's Airport.

I got a real kick outta Laura's "just pretend" feminist radio address Saturday. They tell me she's the first First Lady ta do one of those babies solo. I bet it drove the "two fer the price a one" Clintons crazy!

Laura enjoyed talkin bout how mean the Taliban are ta women. And explainin that the war on bin Laden is a fight fer gal's rights. Except now she's all upset over some column by that nasty Maureen Dowd.

Dowd bitched that we don't lift a finger when our Arab allies are mean to their women. And that we didn't care bout Taliban women till 9/11. Well, like the twins are fond a sayin, Duh! That Dowd really needs ta learn somethin bout piorities.

Anyway, I'll say this fer the Taliban -- at least they'd never let their women write columns.

I told Laura not ta feel bad cause she's playin a real important role. Dick & Ashy & I've got a buncha promises ta keep ta our pro-life pals. And we figure if Laura keeps pretendin ta be a feminist, maybe the real ones won't notice.

I gotta go now cause today's schedule's jam packed. Besides the airport thing and a buncha meetins, I've gotta do that dumb turkey pardon today. I was hopin ta get out of it, cause I really hate givin pardons!

Nov. 20, 2001

Dear Diary -- I called Dick today & told him he's gotta change hobbies. No more pheasant huntin! From now on him and his new black lab need ta shoot turkeys instead.

Okay, maybe I'm overreactin. But after what that ingrate turkey pulled yesterday, who could blame me? That Liberty bird almost did serious damage ta what Laura likes ta call my best parts!

I'm not supposed ta upset schoolkids anymore. So I told em that Liberty's a very sweet bird. But it's really 55-poundsa pure evil!

Speakena mean turkeys, Clinton & Carter are in the news fer a change. Clinton spoke at Harvard yesterday bout public service & globablization, I think. I don't know what he said, but I'm sure it's annoyin.

As fer Jimmy "I'll never lie ta ya" Carter, he's bitchin that we shouldna made a big deal bout droppin only 35,000 food packets ta help 3 million Afghanistan refugees. Here we go again with fuzzy math!

Anyway, 35,000 is a nice round number. Though I could always unpardon that turkey & make it 35,001.

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