Dubya's Early White House Daze - Week 3   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

Feb. 5, 2001

Dear Diary -- What a ruff weekend! Laura's still mad at Dick on acounta what he said about teachers. I never shudda put it in my diary. Plus I was real upset cause of Fridays bad economy news. But Dick says bad news is really good news cause we can blame it on Clinton and use it to get our tax plan past. Kinda confusing -- but cool!

I spent a lotta time with democrats this weekend. Didn't wanna. Don't much like democrats after all those mean things they said about me while I was beating the pants off Gore. But Poppy says I havta make nice with them so they won't notice we're doing stuff they don't like.

Feb. 6, 2001

Dear Diary -- Larry Somebody who I think is one of my advisers says this is gonna be a big week for my tax package. I asked him to explain my tax package again and he did for a while. Then things got kinda fuzzy and I asked him to stop. But he kept talkin till Dick came in and saved me.

Dick says when I make speeches and stuff I should just emphasiz that this is the People's tax package and the People know in their hearts its fair. I'm pretty sure I can do that.

Gotta go now and practice before I forget what to say.

Dear Diary -- I been talkin to a buncha foreign leaders on the phone and learning a whole lot. Fer instance I talked to that new Philipines gal and found out the US and Philipines are on totally different time lines.

And I met the head Canada guy in person -- we had a real nice conversation about fishin. I even made up a joke about him seeming like a right Christian fella. But when I told it to Laura she yelled at me and made me promise not to repeat it. She also said dont put it in my diary. So I wont.

Dick says he's real proud of the job I did yesterday when I talked tough about potenshul airline strikes and promised to explore all options if agreements arent reached. That made me feel real good. But I could have sworn options had something to do with stocks.

Feb. 8, 2001

Dear Diary -- Some crazed IRA guy with a gun was shot yesterday morning right outside the White House. Kinda scary! Specially cause I was on the South Lawn earlier doing one of my tax plan cheerlead thingys. A buncha gun lobby folks called right away to make sure I wouldnt change my gun control position. But I told them not to worry -- I really love my guns.

Laura foned as soon as she heard about the shooting -- she's back at the ranch and wanted to make sure I'm okay. I told her I was safe inside doing my jumping jacks and I miss her a whole lot. Which reminds me --- there's good news -- I might get back to the ranch real soon. Dick says if I keep doing a good job this week he'll probly give me the weekend off.

Feb. 9, 2001

Dear Diary -- Yesterday was my best day yet as Prezident. I even got to submit my tax cut plan to Congress. But when I asked Dick if Congress will be thru with it by this afternoon Dick said it might take a little longer than that. I can't wait to start executin it.

Dicks been all smiley the last coupla days which is kinda weird. So I asked him why he swallowed a canary. He said its cause the Clintons had to return a buncha furniture they stole from the White House. But he stopped smilin when I asked if they really did it on purpose on acounta my remembrin how confusin it was when Poppy moved out. He said it dont matter -- we got the Clintons real good this time.

He got all smiley again talkin about the Rich Hearing whatever that is. I said shouldn't we be there? We're both real rich. Then he gave me one of his scary looks and said dont you have smore exersising to do? So I did.

Dubya's Dayly Diary Main Page

Dubya's Dayly Diary Archives

Subscribe to MadKane Humor

Mad Kane's Latest Humor Columns

Liberal Links

Return Home (MadKane.com)