Dubya's Early White House Daze -- Week 23   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

June 25, 2001

Dear Diary -- I hear Jersey jailbird-to-be Torricelli is PO'd cause I -- I mean the Justice Dept. -- won't let him have a Special Prosecutor. I can't imagine why he thinks he needs a Special Prosecutor -- hahaha!

And speakin of enemy Senators, that damn Jeffords got Sharon Stone to say lotsa nice stuff bout him. She even wants to meet him and shake his hand. I guess I'm gonna have to ban her from the White House. Too bad! Her movies are the next best thing to baseball.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by the Jeffords thing -- Stone's married to the liberal media. But at least her husband got his desserts -- he was bit & nearly killed by a dragon that took a liking to his foot. That dragon sure could come in handy for the Bush family punishment list! Hmm, I wonder if the Lawyers Bill of Health Care Rights covers dragon bites.

Which reminds me -- the fight over that bill is goin real bad. But at least Karl's idea to distract people by changin the subject worked well. My radio address bout human gnomes managed to confuse everyone!

June 26, 2001

Dear Diary -- Waxman's been gunnin after Karl, demandin investigations into his meetins and finances. But yesterday good ol Burton came thru for us -- he released some anti-Clinton document & stopped Waxman in his trouble-makin tracks. That'll teach Weasle Waxman not to mess with Rove!

But so far nobody's been able to stop Waxman from goin after Cheney. Him and the GAO are in cahoots over Dick's energy powwows. Hmmm, I wonder if Burton has anything juicy on the GAO.

I gotta go now and meet with the Israel guy who has a girl's name.

June 27, 2001

Dear Diary -- The American Airline stewardesses are in a stew -- hahaha -- cause I threatened to stop their strike. They say it's pay-back for the big bucks I got from AA executives. Well, duh! I know where my bread is jellied!

Which is exactly what I was eatin when I told Laura bout my AA intervention. And what a funny mix-up we had -- she thought I was talkin bout the twins.

That reminds me -- some Vermont company named a beer after Jeffords -- Jesus Jim I think it's called. How can they name a beer after a guy who I'll bet drinks beer outta a glass?

Speakin of Jeffords, the Senate's still makin trouble over the Lawyers Bill of Health Care Rights. They even voted down Gramm Cracker Phil's employer immunization amendment.

June 29, 2001

Dear Diary -- Things are so bad, I almost wanna go back to the nation of Europe. The polls I don't pay attention to are way down. Drillin's goin nowhere. They're makin me talk up energy conservation. And they won't let me conserve my own energy by takin a long vacation.

And if I wanna keep money pourin in for my next election I may haveta veto a bill that people who are sick or might get sick or who know somebody who's sick, think they want. Then, if they're not too sick to get to the polls, they'll hold it against me. And that's no fair!

Plus Putin fired a missle justa make me look bad & there's an arsenic lawsuit & Mooslims are mad over some SS screwup & the budget surplus outlook is crashing even faster than my polls. But lookin on the bright side -- at least I got my wealthiest one percent pals their tax cuts just in time!

I gotta go now and take a nap -- I had a real late night cause my brother Marvin married an actress. Not that he married her last night. But she was in some stupid Simon play and Laura made me go see it. Another strike against fundin for the arts!!

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