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DUBYA'S DAYLY DIARY (Week 16)


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Dubya's Dayly Diary       Subscribe to MadKane Humor

(Updated each weekday unless Dubya's "Gone Fishin'")

Dubya's Early White House Daze -- Week 16   This Week  Last Week  Archives  Main  Home

May 7, 2001

Dear Diary -- Friday was my best day yet as President cause the Yankees came to visit me at the White House. Stuff like that & T-ball on the South Lawn with Costas doin play-by-play makes it all worth while. Okay maybe not everythin. It sure didn't make up for the fight me and Poppy had over a New York Times article quotin Clinton. Clinton blabbered to someone about my tellin him I wouldn't repeat Poppy's mistake of neglectin domestic matters. I told Poppy Clinton made the whole thing up. But Poppy said your lies may work on the People, but don't expect me to buy em.

On Saturday to honor Cinqo de Mayo and to make more Hispanic voter friends I started doing my broadcast in English and Mexican. Laura tried to talk me out of it. She said I should consintrate on learning English first.

I'm real excited cause Tuesday's the big House budget vote. It was actually sposed to happen last week. But those Damn Dems got it posponed on acounta some lawyer technicality -- a couple of pages were missin. I don't see what the big deal is. I didn't read any of it so why should they?


May 9, 2001

Dear Diary -- Our China policy has been makin me all mixed up. First we do a buncha stuff hopin to get China to let us fix & fly the plane. Like holdin off on spy flights so they think we won't be doin them anymore. Then outta the blue we resume (my new word for the week) the spy flights and get China real mad so they say we can't fly the plane. (Laura told me resume means start again. I always thought it was a paper some people need to get a job.)

Anyway I asked Rummy why we resumed spyin when things were startin to look better with China. He said it's all Clinton's fault cause we couldn't talk him outta visitin China this week. And that if we didn't rile up China again they might say yes to flyin the plane and then Clinton would get all the credit. That Rummy's real clever!

I'm in the doghouse with Poppy again on acounta blamin the energy problem on there bein no energy policy for the last 10 years. He says I shoulda just blamed Clinton like always. I guess it just seems like Clinton was Prez for 10 years.

Speakin of energy, I'm real worried they'll make me into some sorta Carter if things dont turn around soon. But Dick says dont worry -- the only thing I have in common with Carter is we both can't pronounce nukular.


May 11, 2001

Dear Diary -- What a relief! The Senate past the budget yesterday. I was real worried, even tho Karl said we'd dupe enuff disloyal Dems into voting our way. That Karl has great political instincts.

And so does Caren, my favorite spin gal. She even managed to come up with some line for Powell to say explainin how the US got kicked off 2 UN commissions. I can't remember it exactly -- somethin about a buncha our friends figurin we had a lock, so they voted for somebody else. Caren sure knows how to shovel it!

That reminds me -- the House is so steamed about the UN embareassment they wanna punish them by holdin back lotsa money. But I'd rather punish the responsible parties, once the CIA figures out who the heck they are.

And Lott & lotsa other Senate guys are still steamed at Rummy for keepin them outta the loop about Pentagon stuff. What's the big deal? Rummy keeps me outa the loop all the time.


© 2001 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

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