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April 2, 2001

Dear Diary -- I'm real mad at China. Sundays my one day to sleep late & on acounta China they woke me up real early yesterday. Everyone was upset cause China interrupted one of our Navy spy planes & collided into it & a buncha our men are missin. I still think they coulda let me sleep another coupla hours. What was I sposta do? Rescue the guys?

Dick & Rummy said I gotta crack down on China & get real tuff. Sounds like fun! As usual Colon said just the opposite but nobody listens to Colon.

Dick & Rummy also said if Clinton hadnt been so soft on China this never woulda happened.

That reminds me -- Some guy at Foreign Affairs Magazine -- which sounds like something Clinton would read -- has been complaining about my schoolyard bellacosity. I was kinda upset until Laura told me what bellacosity means. Cool!

April 3, 2001

Dear Diary -- Its 4 AM & I cant sleep & I can always sleep. But I'm real riled up about the China spy plane thing. China still has our plane & our crew & for all I know they've been rummagin around the plane and stealin our secrets and maybe even torturin our Military guys. Everyone here keeps tellin me I'm the most important person in the world. But if thats true how come China keeps defyin me?

Isn't defy a cool word? Laura taught it to me yesterday. Defy. Defy. Defy. Defy. L's still mad about my losin the grammer book she bought me accidentally on purpose. So now shes on a new word each week kick.

I'm gonna try to go back to sleep. They better not wake me up early again or I'm gonna be real P-Od.

April 4, 2001

Dear Diary -- Things have gone from worst to worser. All the liberal media wants to talk about this week is China & China isnt even this week's theme. What am I supposed to tell them? Heck, I'm not even sure where China is.

Then they act all angry & stuff cause I dont know enuff to please them. But if the People wanted an enciclopedia they woulda elected Al Gore.

The weird thing is Dick and Rummy arent even upset about Chinas stealin our spy plane secrets & kidnappin the crew. I asked them about it and they didnt wanna tell me. But I said I'm Prezident and you haveta. They finally told me after I promised not to tell anyone else, especially Laura. It turns out this China thing is a great excuse to spend lots more money on spyin & the Military. Cool!

April 5, 2001

Dear Diary -- I cant believe the nerve of those China guys -- they're demandin an apology. I never apologize! Laura will vouch for that.

Its bad enuff that Colon went and said he felt bad about the dead Chinaman. If the dead guy hadn't pushed our plane around he wunt be dead. But for some stupid reason or other they wont let me say that.

Some aids are even sayin I gotta apologize to make this blow over cause those Asian types are into savin cheek. Well I can be as cheeky as the next fella & I aint apologizin!!!

April 6, 2001

Dear Diary -- Poppy called & said I should try & not talk about China in public again till the crisus is over. He said I'm bein contra-productive. I said okay but isn't the contra business your thing? He got reeeeel mad & said just see if you can manage not to say anything too stoopid for the next 48 hours. Then he hung up on me reel hard.

All I can say is this china thing better not mess up my weekend!!

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