A Nor’easter is headed here soon.
With snow we are set to be strewn;
Twelve inches expected!
I’m feeling dejected,
As forecasters breathlessly swoon.
Archive for the ‘Television (TV) Humor’ Category
Snow’s Afoot! (Limerick)
Thursday, January 27th, 2022Limerick Ode To Emmy Award Watching
Monday, September 17th, 2018I’ll be viewing the Emmys tonight,
Though I don’t have a dog in that fight
(Or a cat, for that matter.)
I’ll watch all the chatter
And hope the hosts’ patter has bite.
Choice Viewing (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.
Limerick Ode To The Tonys
Sunday, June 8th, 2014Limerick Ode To The Tonys
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ll be watching the Tonys tonight
And rooting for Tony. That’s right —
It’s Shalhoub in “Act One”
Who should win when they’re done
Toting votes, or my angst won’t be slight.
Nightmare Limerick
Monday, February 17th, 2014Nightmare Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I rarely remember my dreams,
Except those that go off to extremes,
Like last night’s — I was taken:
A hostage, till wakin’.
I should stop watching Homeland, it seems.
Reality TV Humor (New York Magazine Contest)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2014New York Magazine recently started a new weekly contest. This week’s challenge is to invent titles of a “premodern reality-television series.” You can enter either on Twitter or in the contest page’s comment section.
Here are my entries (on Twitter) so far:
The Real Cavewives of Windsor
The Dinosaur Hunter
Reinventing The Wheel
Dancing With The Bard
Keeping Up With The Bardashians
The Sorcery Apprentice
Reality TV Shows That Will Never Be Produced
Thursday, November 14th, 2013In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.
Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:
“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”
“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”
“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”
Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards
Sunday, September 22nd, 2013Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Emmy Awards are tonight,
An annual Sunday night rite,
At which some make the list,
And others feel dissed,
And carpers harp: “TV’s a blight!”
Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
Saturday, August 3rd, 2013Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Most New Yorkers can’t see CBS.
It’s a hairy Time Warner Co mess.
But I see it fee-free:
We’ve no cable, you see,
And use rabbit ears — access success!
Note from Mad Kane: This limerick was inspired by the fee dispute between Time Warner Cable and CBS. A previous feud between Time Warner Cable and ABC inspired my original Ode To “Rabbit Ears.”
My Two Cents About The Voice (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 18th, 2013My Two Cents About The Voice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On the Voice my fav entrants are out.
It’s Sasha and Amber I’d tout.
Danielle doesn’t phrase,
Yet they keep heaping praise.
I just hope it’s Michelle in a rout.
My Super Bowl 2013 Wrap-Up (Limerick)
Monday, February 4th, 2013My Super Bowl 2013 Wrap-Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rumor has it, the game’s fin’ly ended,
Long delayed till the lighting was mended.
Someone lost. Someone won.
Watchers surely had fun.
As for me, my TV — unattended.
(Okay, this is technically a lie: My TV was attended by hubby Mark.)
In Defense Of TV (Limerick)
Friday, June 8th, 2012From time to time, somebody annoys me with bald assertions like this: “I don’t own a TV; they rot the brain.”
I usually ignore them, but NOT this time:
In Defense Of TV (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There is good stuff and bad on TV.
Some will rot out your brain, I agree.
(Fox News comes to mind.)
But there’s great stuff to find.
Just be choosy and spurn the debris.
House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)
Thursday, February 9th, 2012Fox’s medical drama House is finally coming to an end. So it’s confession time: I hate House.
In fact, I loathe all medical dramas, doctor comedies, and any other show about sick people. Why? Because the mere mention of symptoms makes me start feeling them. So if I want to avoid real life doctors, I have to stay far away from the fake ones.
House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though it’s not my intention to grouse,
I detest doctor dramas, like House:
TV ailments and ills
Make me itch, give me chills.
WebMD, here I come — Where’s my mouse?
Limerick Ode To Peter Falk
Friday, June 24th, 2011Mark and I were very saddened to hear that Peter Falk has died. He’s provided so much entertainment and so many laughs over the years, I had to write this limerick:
Limerick Ode To Peter Falk
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Alas, we have lost Peter Falk.
He was famed for his “one more thing” talk.
His Columbo spurred laughs
With his “just pretend” gaffes,
As he nailed ev’ry bad guy he’d stalk.
American Idol Not Idyllic
Thursday, March 10th, 2011American Idol Not Idyllic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I watched Idol last night — wasn’t dandy.
They gave compliments out just like candy.
And something is wrong
When with song after song
The toughest of judges is Randy.
(Linked in I Saw Sunday)
Limerick Odes To Charlie Sheen
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!
I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!
And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:
Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.
And here’s my second limerick:
Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.
(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)
