Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)

January 24th, 2024

A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:

“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”

Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad.
I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad?
You di’n’t win by enough?
Oh, poor baby! That’s rough!
But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.

Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump

January 20th, 2024

My latest limerick requires a bit of background info, for those who missed Trump’s latest cognitive quagmire: In New Hampshire this past week, Trump converted his Pelosi lie about January 6 security into a Nikki Haley lie.

And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)

Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:

Pelosi’s a female, it’s true.
So is Haley, and both oppose YOU.
Nonetheless, it’s unwise
To (while spinning your lies)
Confuse those two gals, as you spew.

Trump Quatrain

January 2nd, 2024

Ruthless Trump lies and spews
Countless gripes that are groundless.
His fans buy his “truths.”
Their naivety’s boundless!

Hooray For Wokeness (Limerick)

November 29th, 2023

Heartless GOP pols keep expounding
On the “evils of wokeness,” confounding
All the fine, humane folk
Who remain proudly woke–
Social justice awareness abounding.

Schadenfreude Quatrain

October 30th, 2023

It’s mean to enjoy
someone’s suffering, but boy,
I’ll never grump
if the sufferer’s Trump.

A Trump Quatrain, For A Change

October 24th, 2023

Donald Trump bound in shackles
would surely raise hackles
of Trump’s loyal jackals.
From me, expect cackles.

Still Munching On Popcorn (Limerick)

October 20th, 2023

The House GOP is a mess.
And it seems to be anyone’s guess
When they’ll fin’lly elect
A new Speaker. They’re wrecked!
Is it glee you detect? Oh my, yes!

Dear Donald (Limerick)

October 4th, 2023

Here’s a free tip for Trump: Spewing bile
Is best to avoid while on trial.
It may help you raise cash,
But it still remains rash.
My advice: Try pretending to smile.

Matt Gaetz v. Speaker McCarthy

October 2nd, 2023

The long-looming motion by Gaetz,
Meant to toss out the Speaker he hates,
Has fin’lly been filed.
So McCarthy is riled
And heated arm-twisting awaits.

Boebert’s Juicy Display (Limerick)

September 24th, 2023

By now, you’ve surely heard about Lauren Boebert’s Beetlejuice “performance.” Here’s an entertaining column about Boebert somehow managing to outdo herself in the indecency department.

And here’s my latest limerick:

“Pious” Boebert’s well-known for her rudeness,
Even crudeness (though surely not shrewdness.)
Her vulgar display
At a play made my day:
An infamous “born-again” lewdness.

Open Limerick To Kevin McCarthy

September 23rd, 2023

Dear Kevin, a Speaker must lead
And inspire; not meekly accede
To demands from a few
Nihilist loons. You shall rue
Selling out to a crew with no creed.

The Former Liar-In-Chief (Limerick)

September 15th, 2023

Though Donald, whose falsehoods are chronic,
May not think of his speech as ironic,
The irony’s clear
In a phrase he holds dear:
“To be honest.” (It’s also demonic.)

A Plea Deal For Donald? Don’t Even Think About It! (Limerick)

August 11th, 2023

Headlines like this drive me nuts: “Is It Possible Trump Will Strike a Plea Deal to Avoid Prison?”

A plea deal for Trump? That’s just mad!
Speculation like that’s simply sad.
Any pact he might make,
He would instantly break!
Trump’s a slippery snake of a cad.

Whining For Time (Limerick)

August 7th, 2023

“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea
From John Lauro, last week in DC.
But the judge should be tough,
Cuz oddly enough
John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.

Smith v. Trump (Limerick)

August 4th, 2023

Though Donald’s the lowest of low,
His infamy slide’s been too slow.
But the courts are all humming,
And justice is coming;
Trump’s finally battling a pro.

Donald Trump’s Finally Trumped (Limerick)

August 2nd, 2023

Another indictment’s been filed,
And Donald’s both anxious and riled
And undoubtedly frightened.
The vise has been tightened,
And law shall prevail! (“Will be wild!”)

Trump’s “Delete The Server” Woes (Limerick)

July 28th, 2023

Security footage begone!
Ordered Trump, like a mafia don.
Said a tech in IT:
I can’t do it. Not me!
And so Trump is a soon-to-be con.

Trump’s “Bravado” Defense

June 28th, 2023

Headline: “Trump says it was just ‘bravado’ when he claimed having Iran attack plan in caught-on-tape Bedminster meeting”

Caught on tape, Trump’s exposure is dire,
So he seems to have taken a flyer
On a novel defense
For admissions immense:
He just labels himself a big liar.

Limerick Ode To Adam Schiff

June 22nd, 2023

Headline: “House GOP votes to censure Schiff over role in Trump investigations”

Adam Schiff has been censured? So what!
It’s hardly a kick in the gut
To be savaged by asses
Who lie to the masses
To placate a traitorous nut!

Hope, At Last? (2-Verse Limerick)

June 15th, 2023

The Donald has many a flaw;
For instance, contempt for the law.
Then there’s meanness and greed
And his self-centered creed.
Plus he lies with each flap of his jaw.

So our household is filled with excitement
Over Donald Trump’s fed’ral indictment.
He at last just might pay
For his crimes. Till that day,
I shall savor my dream with delightment.