Posts Tagged ‘Television’

A New Gig For “Word Salad” Sarah

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016

“Sarah Palin Developing Her Own Judge Judy-Style Reality Show”

Judge Palin? Please say it ain’t so.
Don’t panic. Supreme Court’s no go;
Not a judge in real life,
Simply legal case strife
On TV, a Judge-Judyish show.

Damn! I was so hoping she’d be The Donald’s running mate.

GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 5th, 2016

I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:

Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.

Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tonight we’ll be glued to our set,
Even though it’s a very safe bet
That, as always, the SOTU
Will drive us to go to
Strong drink. (We’ve no hash cigarette.)

SOTU Antics (Limerick)

Monday, January 27th, 2014

SOTU Antics (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch the SOTU’s bipartisan fight,
As the Prez walks the aisle Tuesday night.
Pols will lunge for his hand
Or a cheek, so they’ll land
On TV in this annual rite.

*****

And speaking of the State of the Union Address, remember the good old days when there was one yearly State of the Union speech and a single response from the opposition party?

Then, suddenly, the Republicans added a second rebuttal (referred to as the Tea Party response.) This was done in accordance with the “Oh my God! There’s a black president!” rule.

Well this year, two Republican responses have been deemed insufficient. (The “Why hasn’t he been impeached yet?” rule.)

So this Tuesday night we’ll be treated to three Republican rebuttals from Cathy McMorris Rodgers, Mike Lee, and Rand Paul, respectively.

What’s the matter? No room for Chris Christie?

Maybe next year, if he hangs on to his gig in New Jersey.

Trumped Up Campaign (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Here we go again! It’s too early to pretend to run for U.S. President. So instead, Donald Trump is fake-running for Governor of New York State.

Trumped Up Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This brainchild (I trust) won’t get far:
New York Governor Trump — TV star.
He might run, Donald claims,
But we know his true aim’s
To get press for his show … or be czar.

Sarah Palin Edict: Reality show contestants without talent must not compete … unless their last name is Palin.

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Once again, Sarah Palin shows she has no sense of shame or irony. In her new book America By Heart, the woman has the audacity to criticize American Idol singers as “talent-deprived” contestants who suffer from “the cult of self-esteem.” Now mind you, this is the very same woman whose talentless daughter Bristol has been making a spectacle of herself on Dancing With The Stars.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

There’s a cult of no-talent, rants Palin.
How ironic’s her Idol show railin’!
With a daughter whose dancing
Is talentless prancing,
What’s next? Bristol’s Idol show wailin’?

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Unreal American Stories

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I was glad to see that Sarah Palin’s Fox News Special did just so-so in the ratings. And I was amused that her just-pretend interviews with LL Cool J (which ended up being pulled) and Toby Keith drew objections from her non-interviewees. After all, if you’re going to do a show called Real American Stories, there should be something … uh … real about it.

And now, yet another Sarah Palin limerick:

Unreal American Stories
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin’s show was a snooze on TV.
Even fans did not find it must-see.
Plus pretending to talk
With celebs made them squawk.
And recycling old footage? Ennui!

Political April Fools’ Day

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Political April Fools’ Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

April Fools’ Day is coming. Beware!
Cuz it’s practical joke time. Prepare!
Don’t assume something’s frank,
Though perhaps as a prank,
Fox News will be balanced and fair.

Now Playing On My Other Blog

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

If you’d like a break from politics, my other (general humor) blog has a pair of limericks about the Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, NBC controversy and about Simon Cowell’s decision to leave American Idol.

Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Monday, May 25th, 2009

The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. Of course, to have even a shot at avoiding their tortured lies, I’d have to cancel my Net connection, throw out my radios, and avert my eyes in the unlikely event that I encounter a newspaper.

Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a daughter named Liz
Who joined in the family biz.
The business was lying,
With all members vying
For liar-in-chief — each a wiz.

Ode To Fresh Faces

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.

Ode To AP’s Ron Fournier

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

After President Obama’s outstanding performance during his second primetime press conference, the AP’s Ron Fournier had some column inches to fill. So, what words of wisdom did he share in his “news analysis?” Obama really “likes to have [his words] up on the Teleprompter.”

How nice to know we can count on Fournier to perpetuate the “Obama can’t talk without his Teleprompter crutch” rubbish. Apparently, poor Ron can’t write without a nonsensical meme:

Ode To Ron Fournier (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Ron, you have nothing to say.
But, alas, you’re on deadline today.
Just continue a meme
Like that lame prompter theme.
Maybe someday you’ll merit your pay.

Ode To The Easily Offended

Friday, March 20th, 2009

President Obama was witty and entertaining on last night’s Leno appearance, and what’s the upshot? He’s forced to apologize for a self-deprecating, throwaway line comparing his bowling performance to the Special Olympics.

Obama sure is lucky he didn’t compare his basketball prowess to that of short people. Otherwise, I might have to sue him.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Ode To The Easily Offended
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are people quite readily stressed
And appalled by the innocent jest.
Our problems are great,
Yet they’re often irate
Over nonsense. Is umbrage their quest?

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on.

Jindal’s GOP response last night was a gift to Democrats in terms of both style and content. (I’ll leave it to others like Buzzflash to analyze the substance of Bobby Jindal’s speech.)

Getting back to style, the similarity between Jack McBrayer’s “Kenneth the Page” character on NBC’s “30 Rock” and Jindal’s sing-song, sixth-grader-talking-to-third-graders response to Obama’s speech before Congress last night is downright weird.

And that’s why my latest limerick poses the question that everybody’s surely asking right now: Are “Kenneth the Page” and Bobby Jindal related?

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Bobby, is Kenneth your twin?
From your voices, I’d swear you were kin.
You’re the GOP’s best?
Then the GOP’s quest
For the White House is done — you can’t win.

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives:

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s election’s to blame
For irony’s death, many claim.
Is there nothing to mock?
To satirically knock?
Spoof the press and the pundits — I’m game.

And there’s always the cowardly Dems,
And obstreperous GOP “gems,”
Greedy banks, AIG,
CEOs, bad TV.
Start lampooning — no haws and no hems.