Posts Tagged ‘Ted Cruz’
Saturday, March 26th, 2022
Dana Milbank’s column about “counterfeit commoners” inspired this two-verse limerick:
With hypocrisy Cotton’s replete,
As he trashes the “legal elite”
At Judge Brown Jackson’s hearing,
His rhetoric searing
With “Fake Commoner” Cotton deceit.
It appears that Tom Cotton forgot
His two Harvard degrees. Oh, what rot!
One’s in gov., one’s in law.
Is “eliteness” a flaw?
Then he has it, which hampers his plot.
Tags: Counterfeit Commoners, Elites, Fake Commoners, GOP Hypocrisy, Harvard, John Neely Kennedy, Josh Hawley, Judiciary Limerick, Judiciary Satire, Ketanji Brown Jackson, Racism, Republican Hypocrisy, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Limerick, Ted Cruz, Tom Cotton, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Supreme Hypocrisy (Limerick)
Thursday, March 24th, 2022
The Republicans’ racist attacks
On Brown Jackson ignored all the facts.
And their dog whistle smears
Even pissed off some peers:
Sasse assessment? “Jackassery” acts.
Tags: Ben Sasse, Josh Hawley, Judiciary Limerick, Judiciary Satire, Ketanji Brown Jackson, Lindsey Graham, Racism, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Limerick, Ted Cruz, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Lindsey Graham, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Ted Cruz | Comments Off on Jackasses Attack Jackson (Limerick)
Saturday, February 20th, 2021
Did the frigid Ted Cruz flee his state
For a resort? (Cancún!) Yes, damn straight!
Let someone else master
The Texas disaster!
Why should Ted freeze his ass or his pate?
Tags: Anti-Regs, Heat, Libertarians, Power Grid, Ted Cruz, Texas, Texas Humor, Texas Republicans
Posted in GOP Humor, Libertarians Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, September 3rd, 2018
Headline: “Activists to remind Texas about Trump’s ‘Lyin’ Ted’ Cruz tweets with mobile billboard”
The Donald’s campaigning for Cruz.
I’m amused (aren’t you?) by this news:
A huge sign filled with tweets–
Donald’s anti-Cruz bleats–
Will be giving both scoundrels the blues.
Tags: Donald Trump, Social Media Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor, Trump Tweets
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump-Tweet Billboard Trolls Ted’s Campaign (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016
Dear Ted, you’re a wack and a hack,
And I’m tempted to make a snide crack,
But I almost feel pity;
It sure won’t be pretty
When Senators “welcome” you back.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election, Election Humor, Republican Primary, Senate Satire, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Ted Cruz On Suspending His Campaign
Thursday, April 28th, 2016
Dear Ted, if you’re trying to woo
Hoosiers’ fans, here is what NOT to do:
Call that “hoop” thing a “ring.”
(Also Carly can’t sing.)
Lots of luck with your GOP coup.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Election Humor, Hoosiers, Indiana, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carly Fiorina, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
Monday, April 25th, 2016
Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Election 2016, Election Humor, GOP Humor, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carly Fiorina, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)
Thursday, April 7th, 2016
Cruz was so thrilled by this headline, that he wrote Trump a limerick:
G.O.P. Donors, Eager to Defeat Donald Trump, Learn to Love Ted Cruz.
Dear Donald, I’m writing to say
You’ve a talent for making my day;
Cuz of you, the elite
Have embraced me — a feat
That’s far-fetched, without you in the fray.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP Elite, Republican Donors, Republican Elite, Republican Primary, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Ted Cruz’s Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Tuesday, March 8th, 2016
Here we go again: “Rubio camp accuses Cruz of ‘dirty tricks’ over Hawaii ‘dropout’ email.”
Dirty tricks before votes — Oy gevalt!
Yet another election assault!
And it’s always Ted’s team
That’s behind the false meme.
Yet somehow it’s never Ted’s fault.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Cruz Campaign Up To Its Old, Dirty Tricks (Limerick)
Monday, March 7th, 2016
Campaign debates used to be boring,
And could lead to some serious snoring;
As the pols prattled on
Going hither and … yawn…
I was known to nod off on the flooring.
But debates are quite diff’rent this year;
On the GOP side you will hear
Words that won’t let you sleep
And just might make you weep,
As the bullies hurl slurs, leer, and sneer.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Chris Christie, Debate Limerick, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Marco Rubio, Presidential Campaign Humor, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on GOP Debates, Then And Now (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, March 5th, 2016
I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:
Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.
Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Jerry Springer, Marco Rubio, Tabloid Television Humor, Tabloid TV, Ted Cruz, Television
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2016
Ben Carson is apparently dropping out of the Republican presidential contest. But Marco Rubio and John Kasich are desperately hanging on. And the GOP needs a two (evil) man race between Trump and Ted in order to have any shot at a non-Trump nominee.
I feel the Republicans’ pain.
They keep failing to halt Donald’s gain.
So unless they persuade
All but Ted to downgrade
Their ambitions, their clout’s down the drain.
Tags: Ben Carson, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz
Posted in Ben Carson, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on The GOP’s Thorny Path Backward (Limerick)
Sunday, February 14th, 2016
Says Rubio: “Cruz is a liar.”
I concur: Cruz’s pants are on fire.
But Ted’s hardly alone;
GOPers are prone
To eschew any truth in their choir.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Lies, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Pot, Meet Kettle (Limerick)
Thursday, February 11th, 2016
We’ve three Js in the race: Jeb, Jim, John.
(Bush and Gilmore and Kasich ain’t gone.)
Sleepy Ben, Grumpy Trump,
Cruz, and Marco still stump,
As the GOP con game drones on.
Tags: Ben Carson, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP2016, Jeb Bush, Jim Gilmore, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz
Posted in Ben Carson, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 9th, 2016
Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”
Tags: Ben Carson, Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Presidential Election, Ted Cruz
Posted in Ben Carson, Campaign Humor, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016
I’m certain “The Donald” is mad.
He’s a “LOSER” to Cruz, and I’d add,
More embarrassing yet
Is his delegate net;
It did NOT exceed Marco’s. Poor lad!
Yes, not only did Cruz beat Trump by 3.3 percent, but Marco Rubio was only 1.2 percent behind Trump, tying him in terms of delegate yields:
Ted Cruz’s victory in the Iowa caucuses means he’ll collect eight delegates to the Republican National Convention.
Donald Trump and Marco Rubio each get seven from the opening contest in the 2016 presidential race.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Iowa Caucus, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Iowa Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Trump Trumped In Iowa (Limerick)
Thursday, January 14th, 2016
Headline of the Day: “Ted Cruz Didn’t Report Goldman Sachs Loan in a Senate Race.”
“I’m a populist guy to the bone.
I got all that I have on my own.”
That’s the message Cruz flacks,
Leaving out Goldman Sachs
And that million-buck Senate-race loan.
Tags: Campaign Disclosure Rules, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Goldman Sachs, Senate Campaign, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Ted “Everyman” Cruz (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 12th, 2016
How ironic! According to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe, the very type of constitutional “originalist” judge that Ted Cruz says he’d appoint to the U.S. Supreme Court, is the very sort of judge who’d deem Cruz unqualified to be president by reason of his Canadian birthplace.
Trump’s Birther attack on Ted Cruz
Seemed, at first, like some dumb Donald news.
But a judge of the sort
Ted Cruz likes would retort:
“Call Cruz ‘natural born?’ I refuse!”
Here’s Tribe, as quoted by The Guardian:
“…the kind of judge Cruz says he admires and would appoint to the supreme court – an ‘originalist’ who claims to be bound by the historical meaning of the constitution’s terms at the time of their adoption – Cruz wouldn’t be eligible because the legal principles that prevailed in the 1780s and 90s required that someone be born on US soil to be a ‘natural born’ citizen.”
“Even having two US parents wouldn’t suffice for a genuine originalist. And having just an American mother, as Cruz did, would clearly have been insufficient at a time that made patrilineal descent decisive…”
Tags: Birthers, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Judiciary Humor, Laurence Tribe, Law Satire, Ted Cruz, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Ted Cruz, White House | 1 Comment »
Sunday, December 27th, 2015
Ted Cruz is the Senate’s “bad boy,”
But for Teddy that title’s a ploy;
The more INSIDERS hate him,
Despise and berate him,
The more he’s the hoi polloi’s joy.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Senate Satire, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Bad Boy” Cruz
Thursday, July 30th, 2015
What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.
Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”
Tags: Ben Carson, Bobby Jindal, Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Humor, George Pataki, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Jim Gilmore, John Kasich, Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz
Posted in Bobby Jindal, Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
