Posts Tagged ‘Tariffs’

Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions (If He Could Write Limericks)

Tuesday, December 31st, 2024

“Tell me Sir, what’s your best resolution?”
Getting vengeance with each prosecution!
Also closing the borders,
Undoing Joe’s orders,
And trashing the damn Constitution!

Then there’s placing high tariffs galore
To give nations a giant what-for,
Getting rid of non-whites
And that dumb Bill of Rights,
Plus I’ll dump X-man Musk. What a bore!

Trump’s BS Bibles (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 9th, 2024

The Donald faults China and trade.
“Huge tariffs,” he cries, “must be paid.”
“They steal jobs from our nation,”
He rants to ovation.
But THAT’s where Trump’s Bibles are made.

No, I am NOT making this up. Here’s a quote from CBS News:

“Thousands of Donald Trump’s “God Bless the USA” Bibles — sold for $59.99 each — were printed in a country that the former president has frequently accused of engaging in unfair trade practices and stealing American jobs: China.”

Those Taxing Tariffs (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 5th, 2019

Headline: “Trump’s tariffs might amount to the biggest U.S. tax hike since the 1980s”

And now my two-verse limerick:

A tariff is really a tax
That Trump’s hitting us with to the max,
Just to make his base think
Trump the “tough guy” won’t blink.
Dear voters, please give him the ax.

Donald counts on his fans not to know
That tariffs are taxes, and so
He keeps raising those taxes.
Here’s hoping the ax is
About to deliver its blow.

Grassley’s Gonna Sit Right Down and Write The Prez a Letter

Tuesday, May 14th, 2019

From the Washington Post, re Trump’s tariffs:

“Senate Finance Committee Chairman Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) said he planned to write a letter to Trump to explain the concerns of farmers because he felt the argument he had repeatedly made to the president in person was not registering.”

I apologize to Ahlert and Young for these song parody lyrics:

I’m gonna sit right down and write the Prez a letter
And make believe that Trump can read.
I’m gonna write words, oh, so sweet.
They’re gonna help guys growing wheat.
A lotta kisses on Trump’s bottom.
He’ll be glad he got ’em.

I’m gonna smile and say I hope he’ll end his tariffs.
Then I’ll close with love the way I do.
I’m gonna sit right down and write to help the farmers.
And pray my letter helps me too.

Trump’s Tariff Whopper (Limerick)

Sunday, May 12th, 2019

Donald Trump likes to brag and enthrall,
By claiming his tariffs are all
Paid by China — a LIE
That his base seems to buy…
Just like Mexico’s paid for the wall.

Trumpy Wonderland

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

With apologies to Winter Wonderland’s composers:

Tariffs mount. Markets plummet.
Pundits spin. Goodbye summit.
The Donald’s a nut
Who praises his gut.
Living in a Trumpy Blunderland.

McConnell Stop Trump Tariffs? Don’t Hold Your Breath (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Mitch McConnell: Trump’s Tariffs Are a ‘Slippery Slope’”

Donald’s tariffs? A “slippery slope,”
Says McConnell. But follow-through? Nope!
Though his warnings are dour,
He won’t use his power
To curb him; that coward can’t cope.

Trump Blunders Yet Again (Limerick)

Thursday, March 8th, 2018

Trump’s determined to screw up our trade,
Signing orders most experts have nayed,
Foisting tariffs with zest,
Cuz The Donald knows BEST,
And the Dunce-In-Chief Must Be Obeyed!

Gary Cohn, Bye-Bye (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2018

Yet another departure! Now Cohn
Has resigned. Say goodbye to the lone
Voice of reason on trade.
Since this rational aide
Can no longer persuade, coop’s been flown.