Posts Tagged ‘South Carolina’
Monday, June 22nd, 2015
I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We can always depend on Ted Cruz
To be tacky in voicing his views;
He tells gun control jokes
After massacres, folks,
Crudely preying on death to “amuse.”
Sen. Ted Cruz apparently finds mass murder amusing. Here’s just one of his campaign jokes uttered just two days after the Charleston church massacre:
“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Charleston Church Massacre, Crime & Punishment, Dylann Roof, Election Humor, Gun Control, Hate Crimes, South Carolina, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Crime, Election Satire, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Ted Cruz | Comments Off on I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
Even though I have no use for porn, I do have a soft spot for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt.
Why?
1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.
2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.
Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.
He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.
Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.
In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”
An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Congress Humor, Election Humor, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, Endorsements Humor, George W. Bush, Larry Flynt, Mark Sanford, Media Humor, Porn Humor, Republicans Humor, South Carolina
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 23rd, 2012
Newt Gingrich demolished Mitt in South Carolina. Newt’s surging in Florida. And Romney’s large national lead is collapsing. Needless to say, the Republican establishment is starting to panic:
To the extent Newt threatens the Establishment, it’s because of his electability–or lack thereof. The GOP’s mandarins see Gingrich’s nomination as a sure way to blow their chance of deposing Barack Obama. They see Gingrich as the political equivalent of a Fukushima nuclear plant worker, with polls showing him to be lethally irradiated by his negative approval ratings. Whereas Mitt Romney is running about even with Barack Obama in head-to-head polling, Newt loses by double-digit margins. Sure, those numbers could change if Gingrich beats Romney and wins the nomination, with all the accolades it entails. On the other hand, his grandiosity syndrome may kick in, as it has before, and render him a laughing stock. Hence the many Establishment Republicans now saying things like, “Newt means losing 45 states.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Limerick Ode To Republican Panic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican powers-that-be
Are scared of a Newt-nominee:
Newt’s grandiose ways
Could trigger malaise,
As voters to Democrats flee.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Florida, GOP, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Polls, Republicans Humor, RNC, South Carolina, Voting Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Voting Satire | 6 Comments »
Friday, January 20th, 2012
The South Carolina primary is tomorrow, and Newt Gingrich’s poll numbers are picking up steam.
Mitt Romney’s South Carolina Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Newt Gingrich may win
Tomorrow, to Romney’s chagrin.
Just imagine the gloating
Right after the voting!
If this happens, will Mitt take to gin?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Polls, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Primary, South Carolina
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, January 11th, 2012
Newt Gingrich is on the warpath against Mitt Romney, just as he promised after being decimated by pro-Romney ads in Iowa. And Newt’s latest South Carolina primary video ad is packed with goodies.
One of my favorites is Romney’s “dog on the roof of his car” escapade. But there’s lots more, including “I like being able to fire people…,” “Corporations are people,” “I’m running for president for pete’s sake, I can’t have illegals,” and “10,000 bet.”
And that’s not even Newt’s only anti-Romney video. Another one hits Romney on his abortion rights hypocrisy.
A vindictive Newt isn’t a pretty picture.
Beware The Wrathful Newt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Newt Gingrich is on the attack.
His mission’s to Mitt Romney whack.
Revenge is his quest,
And he seeks it with zest.
Yes, the meanie we know has come back.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Iowa, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Ads, Revenge Humor, South Carolina
Posted in Campaign Humor, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws.
For instance, South Carolina has a little known (until now) law requiring subversive agents to register with the state and pay a five dollar fee.
No, I’m not kidding. If you’d like to overthrow the government, you’re required to register with the government.
Naturally, Tea Party members think this law was passed purposely to target their group. If so, that would make South Carolina pols highly precognitive — the law dates way back to 1951.
But if any subversives do feel the urge to register, they’d better do it soon. Why? Because State Sen. Larry Martin, a Republican, is pushing to repeal it:
“I readily recognize when it had been passed and what the purpose of it was back in the 1950s,” he said. “But I don’t think Osama bin Laden is going to register. It’s outlived its usefulness.”
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
Subversive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re subversive and live in SC?
There’s no problem — just pay a small fee.
File a form with a fiver.
It’s cheap, you conniver.
You’d best file if you party with tea.
Tags: Larry Martin, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Legislation Humor, Overthrowing Government, South Carolina, State Registration, Subversive Agents, Tea Party Members, Weird Laws
Posted in Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, South Carolina Humor, Tea Parties | Comments Off on Subversive Limerick
Thursday, September 17th, 2009
South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford sure has expensive travel habits for such a “frugal conservative.”
The Not-So-Frugal Traveler (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Making staffers use each Post-It side,
Mark Sanford would wastefulness chide.
Then he’d charter a plane,
Throwing cash down the drain.
Sanford sure took his state for a ride.
Related Posts: Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford; Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy; and Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It?
Tags: Conservatives Satire, Frugality, Governor Sanford, Philanderers, Planes, Republican Hypocrisy, South Carolina, Travel Expenses, Womanizers
Posted in GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Mark Sanford, The Not-So-Frugal Traveler
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
Here’s the transcript of the Joe Wilson (R-SC) Congressional Resolution that would reprimand him for his “You lie!” outburst at Obama during last week’s joint session of Congress.
And speaking of badly behaved public figures, I’ve written an Ode To Incivility on my other blog. It features the 3 W’s — Joe Wilson, Kanye West, and Serena Williams.
UPDATE: The Resolution rebuking Joe Wilson passed 240 to 179. Called a “resolution of disapproval,” it was supported by only seven Republicans and opposed by twelve Democrats.
Tags: Congressional Resolution, Joe Wilson, Joe Wilson Reprimand, Kanye West, Rudeness, Serena Williams, South Carolina
Posted in Congress Humor, Entertainment Humor, General Humor, House Satire, South Carolina Humor | Comments Off on Public Figures Behaving Badly
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
Back in July, South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint bragged about Republican plans to “break” Obama. How? By killing health care reform, turning health care into Obama’s “Waterloo.”
So it’s no surprise that the President’s foes are wielding the Big Lie in their non-stop efforts to block reform. Or that their lies target the elderly, scaring them into thinking Democrats intend to mandate elder-euthanasia.
This brings me to my latest limerick, Waterloo Lies:
Waterloo Lies
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s spreading big lies
To ensure that our health reform dies:
“The bill will kill gran —
Shorten seniors’ life span.”
Their goal? Cut Barack down to size.
Update: Check out the interesting and informative Health Wonk Review.
Related Posts: An Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; and Tantrum Politics
Tags: Big Lie, Elderly, Euthanasia, Health Care, Insurance Reform, Jim DeMint, Obama, Reform, Republicans Humor, Scare Tactics, South Carolina, Waterloo
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, James DeMint, Legislation Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, South Carolina Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Saturday, July 11th, 2009
Senator John Ensign surely celebrated when Governor Mark Sanford’s soul-mate scandal took Ensign’s sex-capade off Page 1.
But not for long! Ensign’s scandal is back, and it’s better than ever:
Dueling Scandals (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some scandals appear to be fleeting,
Like Ensign’s with Sanford competing.
But Ensign’s is back
With his pay-off scheme flack.
Guess whose scandal is next — please, no cheating.
Tags: Governor Sanford, Media Humor, Nevada, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, Senator Ensign, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, John Ensign, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Scandals Humor, South Carolina Humor | Comments Off on Dueling Scandals
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford shouldn’t resign because he’s an unfaithful, lying, hypocrite … although he’s all that and more. He should resign because he’s a moron! Only a blithering idiot could, in one breath, publicly describe his lover as his “soul mate” and, in the next breath, vow to salvage his marriage and fall back in love with his wife, Jenny.
Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sanford, you need to stay mum
Cuz your statements are dumb as they come.
Tell me: Why would your wife
Take you back in this life,
When your soul mate’s another? You bum!
Tags: Jenny Sanford, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
I don’t know what’s weirder — the fact that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s been missing since Thursday, or that his wife doesn’t seem at all worried.
Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Sanford — oh let’s call him Mark —
Has left his whole state in the dark.
He’s gone missing, they say.
Can they reach him? No way!
Is he nuts, or just lost in some park?
Update: Here’s my favorite rumor about South Carolina’s missing governor: Mark Sanford may have been hiking naked.
Update 2: Now that Governor Sanford’s fessed up to an Argentinean tryst, I’ve written him another limerick.
Tags: Mark Sanford, South Carolina
Posted in Governors Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 2 Comments »
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 4 Comments »