I may soon have to start placing tags
On my satire posts; flashing flags
That say, “Warning! Not True!
“It’s a spoof!” How I rue
The resemblance of real news to gags.
Posts Tagged ‘Satire’
Satirist’s Quandary
Sunday, August 27th, 2017Limericks & Sundry Humor (July and August 2017)
Sunday, August 27th, 2017I’ve gathered into a single batch loads of limericks and other (mostly Trump-related) humor I wrote during the summer of 2017, while recovering from wrist surgery:
*****
I suspect there’s a hole in Trump’s soul;
Donald pardoned a bigoted troll,
Deeming racism kosher.
(What act could be gaucher?)
Bias AIN’T just okay. It’s Trump’s goal.
*******
An unqualified Trump aide named Gorka,
Who’s despised by most ev’ry New Yorkuh,
Has been dumped. Will he rail
In a big pay-day tale?
I’m betting his story’s a corkuh.
*********
Alas, Harvey is fixing to mow
Through Texas, a menacing blow.
Trump’s FEMA’s done little;
Just talk laced with spittle.
But at least, Donald’s helped Sheriff Joe.
*****
Life With Mark and Madeleine:
Mark: I love NPR, except for late afternoons.
Madeleine: What’s the problem?
Mark: Each time I tune in, I hear the same damn story!
Madeleine: Maybe they should call it “One Thing Considered.”
*****
“Alex Jones calls Charlottesville violence a false flag, because alternative facts are still a thing”
What to do when your allies are caught
Doing wrong, and you fear all’s for naught?
There’s the Infowars’ chestnut:
Yes Jones is the best nut
To hatch “false flag” claims, overwrought.
*****
Oval Office blight;
Hope’s plummeting out of sight.
Can’t succumb to plight!
*****
I have run out of patience with those
Who voted for Trump. Your vote blows!
If you still like the guy,
Please do NOT explain why.
I don’t care; You’re to blame for our woes!
*****
Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “The President is probably one of the strongest presidents we’ve had on economic issues.”
So true! Which Is why I can’t wait for Trump’s forthcoming treatise:
Strong Dollar/ Weak Dollar: Which One’s Better?
*****
Trump Advisor: A quick question, Mr. President, before you leave for golf: Any thoughts on naming an Ambassador to South Korea?
Trump: Absolutely not! No ambassador until they stop building nukes!
Trump Advisor: Sir, I’m pretty sure North Korea’s the one with the nukes.
Trump: Double check and get back to me. But first, where are my clubs?
*****
“POTUS has been briefed on [Hurricane] Harvey’s progress, as well as preparations, by his Homeland Security Advisor, Tom Bossert.”
Bossert: Harvey’s headed to Texas, but things are under…
Trump: Paul Harvey! Great radio guy! But isn’t he dead?
*****
Trump’s White House (from Cab Secs to VEEP)
Is so lawless, I just want to weep.
Take the Hatch Act; Ben’s speech
Last night was a breach.
My advice? Plead “I spoke in my sleep.”
(Ben Carson Hatch Act Phoenix Rally)
*****
“Trump to Congress: Fund the Wall or I’ll Shut the Government”
Donald thinks he has magical powers
To bully, till ev’ryone cowers:
“Build my wall!” (His first love)
“Or I’ll shut down the gov!”
No, not Mexico’s government! Ours!
*****
Trump’s Phoenix Rally
Yet another divisive Trump rally!
(Donald’s held way too many to tally.)
He was crazy, yet boring;
I swear I heard snoring,
As hundreds skipped Donald’s finale.
*****
Photo of the Day: “President Trump stares straight into solar eclipse without glasses”
The eclipse had us viewing our skies,
But ev’ryone knows it ain’t wise
To stare at the sun
While the moon’s having fun;
So dear Donald, good luck with your eyes.
*****
Our Naval destroyer collides.
Ten sailors are lost in the tides.
Trump is asked, as the Prez,
To comment, and says:
“That’s too bad!” What a lift he provides!
*****
Mar-a-Lago keeps losing events,
Reducing Trump’s dollars and cents;
Non-profits galore
Wish to be there no more.
Schadenfreude? My case is immense!
*****
Modest Proposal 4 Trump’s Afghanistan speech:
Declare victory. Take credit. Announce immediate withdrawal.
What’s another Trump lie?
*****
Though Trump skirts the truth to the max,
With an attitude far worse than lax,
He defended delaying
Tough statements by braying:
Before speaking, “I like to know facts.”
*****
Both sides good!
Both sides bad!
Me like facts!
Fake media’s mad!
*****
Dear Trump, don’t expect me to cheer
Today’s speech; your reluctance was clear.
Condemnation delayed
Simply won’t make the grade.
Sneers and jeers for your words insincere!
*****
Me great president!
Racism bad!!!
Everyone happy now?
Can I go back to golf?
*****
The Donald’s an arrogant fool
Who possesses just one tiny tool:
The dominance game,
Which is best not to aim
At someone who’s equally cruel.
*****
Trump & North Korea Haiku
“Fire!” “Fury!”
“Locked and Loaded!”
Adolescent bullies, goaded.
*****
Bombings tend to make Trump go to town;
He’ll speak out and he’ll tweet and he’ll frown!
But he’s yet to decry
Friday’s mosque attack. Why?
Have Twitter and Facebook been down?
*****
Seems that Pence has been caught at ambition,
A perilous White House condition.
Pence denies it, of course.
Will Trump force a “divorce,”
As suspicion incites trust attrition?
*****
“Is the Donald about to ‘reset?'”
That’s a query I simply don’t get.
Yet the press loves to ask it.
Instead, I would task it:
Truly cover our national threat.
*****
The Trump presidency could be just the thing that converts me from agnostic to atheist.
*****
Dear Head of the Boy Scouts, explain
Trump’s invasion inside your domain
With a broadside so mad,
You said “Sorry! My bad!”
Tell me: Why would you think he’d act sane?
*****
If Trump’s White House is a “fine-tuned machine,” mark me down for a jalopy.
*****
Sean Spicer has fled from his box,
So the White House is losing his vox,
Which was often embattled;
He lied and he prattled…
Skills soon to be transferred to Fox?
*****
A visit from “Donald, the Cad”
To London’s postponed; the poor lad
Heard that protests were planned,
Making Trump feel unmanned.
Demonstration-fears stopping him? Sad!
*****
Junk health insurance—
Just what the doctor ordered.
*****
Dear Jared, you’ll soon be in hock
To your lawyers, who bill round the clock.
Will they help you to skate?
I say prison’s your fate,
As a chip off the old Kushner block.
*****
Trump’s Voter Fraud “Investigator” Demands State Voter Records, And States Ain’t Happy:
“Just what are they trying to hide?”
Trump’s response, when most states won’t abide
By vile records demands;
Voter privacy stands
Somehow wrong? Trump’s returns, still un-eyed.
*****
Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)
Thursday, September 27th, 2012As a political satirist myself, I was very amused by the brouhaha over Roger Simon’s recent satirical column. I’m referring to his amusing Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench” piece that several journalists mistook for straight reporting. As Rick Perry would say, “Oops!”
Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some beliefs are a challenge to quench,
Like “Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench.”
A satirical column
Was taken as solemn.
Simon’s mischief made journalists blench.
Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Updated)
Friday, November 7th, 2008Now that the Democratic Senate majority has grown so much, Harry Reid plans to strip Joe Lieberman of his Homeland Security Committee chairmanship, even if Joe continues to caucus with the Democrats. Sounds great to me! (Update: Lieberman’s chairmanship status will be determined by a secret Democratic Senate caucus vote on November 18th.)
Of course, Lieberman thinks Reid’s being mean and unfair. Cuz apparently Dems are supposed to just look the other way after Lieberman disses Obama and campaigns enthusiastically for McCain, Palin and down-ticket Republicans.
Joe’s even intimating that he may caucus with the Republicans. Well I, for one, say good riddance, and I hope Harry Reid (and his fellow Dems) stick to their guns. Lieberman can’t be trusted to back Dems when it comes to filibusters, so who needs him?
And now it’s time for a limerick:
Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
He deserves to be stripped of his chair.
Cuz when push comes to shove
He shows Lieberman-love.
Mitch can take him … and buyer beware!
McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response. But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:
McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”
Just Call It The McPettiness Express
Monday, October 27th, 2008I’m a bit late on this. But I was amused to read that Joe Klein has suffered the same fate as Maureen Dowd — banishment from the McCain / Palin planes:
Just Call It The McPettiness Express
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Beware of the wrath of McCain.
If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane.
You’ll join Klein and Mo Dowd —
That non-patriot crowd.
Wave goodbye to the “straight talk” campaign.
Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom
Monday, February 23rd, 2009Mystified about Twitter? Wondering what the tweet fuss is all about? Desperate to find out what words of wisdom you’ve missed by ignoring the Political Twittersphere?
Well, your worries are over. Because I’m launching (as a public service) the Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom. Here’s my first selection of recent, genuine, and attributed tweet quotes:
“trying to explain to junior white house staffers that mickey rourke was once young handsome and supercool.” @jaketapper
“tweeting about twitter no longer meta, now oafish. starting…..NOW.” @jaketapper
“My intvu with Gov. Huntsman. He says GOP needs ‘bold solutions’ instead of ‘gratuitous political griping.'” @NorahODonnell
“I’m at Chef Geoff’s eating the most delicious meal ever of bucatini and veal meatballs. Can u say garlic?” @NorahODonnell
“So @algore makes cut w/ 12 tweets since Nov? And I didn’t even know @chuckgrassley existed. But we’re talking so @thepolitico wins.” @williambeutler
“Bombay. It should be called Bombay, dammit. #oscars” @williambeutler
“you would think that our largest affiliate could actually put us on the air before the 1st segment ends. grrrrr.” @Radioblogger (Senior producer of the Hugh Hewitt Show)
“All GOP governors will take most of the money. Otherwise, they’re taxing their residents for states that didn’t control spending.” @KarlRove
“query: once all the newspapers are gone, what happens during an internet outage?” @craig_crawford
“Why is Gibbs tie distracting me? Perhaps that’s the point since he’s having to talk about cutting entitlements.” @craig_crawford
“Choreography at White House fiscal event is interesting: Obama calls on McCain, Cantor, etc Maybe he’s serious abt this bipartisanship stuff.” @TerryMoran
“Feeling kind of defeated in my shabby attempts to pretend to cover the WH. Do I need to sip from the Potomac more? Or less?” @anamariecox
“Cosi across the street from the WH is like an annex. Two other journos here, Secret Service guy just got a chicken salad to go.” @anamariecox
Well, that’s it for the first edition of Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom. Please let me know if I should make this a regular feature. Oh … and if you’d like to follow me on Twitter I’m @MadKane.
Tags: Journalists, Political, Quotes, Satire, Twitter, Wisdom
Posted in Media Satire, Political Commentary, Technology Humor, Twitter | 3 Comments »