“Sarah Palin Developing Her Own Judge Judy-Style Reality Show”
Judge Palin? Please say it ain’t so.
Don’t panic. Supreme Court’s no go;
Not a judge in real life,
Simply legal case strife
On TV, a Judge-Judyish show.
Damn! I was so hoping she’d be The Donald’s running mate.
Sarah Palin’s and Donald’s toxicity
Are now linked. What a dose of duplicity!
She endorsed him in Ames;
Trump is great, so she claims,
But I’ll bet she’s just starved for publicity.
Apparently, Karl Rove’s election night histrionics pushed Roger Ailes too far. Rove’s been benched.
…Ailes has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now. For Karl Rove and Dick Morris — a pair of pundits perhaps most closely aligned with Fox’s anti-Obama campaign — Ailes’s orders mean new rules. Ailes’s deputy, Fox News programming chief Bill Shine, has sent out orders mandating that producers must get permission before booking Rove or Morris.
Karl Rove’s Ailing Punditry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Roger Ailes appears sick of Rove’s failin’
To get anything right, so he’s bailin’:
Fox News has been told
Not to book that old scold.
But alas, Fox still carries Ms. Palin.
Note to Sarah Palin and Ted (Tea Party Express, Texas) Cruz, a would-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate: Just because Texas and Kansas both end in “as” doesn’t make them the same state:
Sarah Palin called with a tip that Cruz was the man for the GOP.
Thank goodness the Cruz campaign directed a robocall to my office of the Topeka Capital-Journal.
Getting meaningful political advice from Palin was a treat.
“Hello, Texas!” she blasted into my ear. “I’m Sarah Palin.”
State of Embarrassment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, when trying to aid
Mr. Cruz, all your robocalls played
On phones through the state
Of Kansas ain’t great,
When it’s Texans you aim to persuade.
The verdict is in: Sarah Palin isn’t running for president.
Humorists Bid Sad Goodbye To Sarah (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sarah Palin ain’t running. Boohoo!
Just what is this jester to do?
Palin’s precious to mock—
With her gone, must take stock:
Are there mockable pols left? A slew!
Just when you thought they couldn’t stoop any lower, Republican presidential wannabes like Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, and Michele Bachmann are lining up to kiss Donald Trump’s … uh … ring. After all, nothing says presidential like a Donald Trump endorsement.
Wooing The Donald (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some Republicans hope for a bump
In their polls if endorsed by Don Trump.
Here’s a warning for those
Who are kissing his toes:
Self-promotion’s “Goal 1” for that grump.
Sarah Palin will apparently do anything to keep her name in the news … and the money flowing in:
Alaska Republican Sarah Palin is “on the verge of making her decision of whether or not to run for office” – and her backers should write a check right away, a letter from her political action committee says.
Sarah “Send Cash” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I need money to help me decide,
Says a woman I can not abide.
I’m referring to Palin—
Ex-Gov known for bailin’.
Let your non-gift be Palin’s best guide.
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost feel sorry for Christine O’Donnell. No, I’m not talking about O’Donnell’s paltry book sales. I’m referring to her being bigfooted by Sarah Palin out of an appearance at a Tea Party of America rally.
Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sarah Palin’s a very spoiled brat.
To other gal pols she says, “Scat!”
Prima donna bar none —
She would bar ev’ry one,
Looking down from her very high hat.
Up until today, I was pretty convinced that Sarah Palin wouldn’t enter the Republican presidential primary race. I figured she’s enjoying her new-found ability to parlay celebrity into wealth. And that she’s making way too much green to be bothered with the hard job of campaigning for president.
But there’s another type of green — the envy kind. And I can’t help but think that Michele Bachmann’s early success may be tempting Palin to steal back the limelight by making a White House run.
My Presidential Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m betting that Palin will run,
Cuz Michele’s having way too much fun.
Bachmann’s stealing her niche,
Which is making her twitch.
Sarah’d freak if some other gal won.
Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.
That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.
And now, my latest limerick:
Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Whenever I think Sarah Palin can’t get more stupid, she proves me wrong. This time she actually said:
But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies. We’re bound to by treaty –.
(Her co-host on Glenn Beck’s radio show corrected her.)
She has earned herself yet another limerick:
Palin Unveils Our Newest Ally — North Korea
By Madeleine Begun Kane
North Korea’s an ally, says Palin.
Her brain cells have clearly been bailin’.
Though her knowledge is weak,
She hastens to speak
With her fact-free assurance prevailin’.
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Once again, Sarah Palin shows she has no sense of shame or irony. In her new book America By Heart, the woman has the audacity to criticize American Idol singers as “talent-deprived” contestants who suffer from “the cult of self-esteem.” Now mind you, this is the very same woman whose talentless daughter Bristol has been making a spectacle of herself on Dancing With The Stars.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
There’s a cult of no-talent, rants Palin.
How ironic’s her Idol show railin’!
With a daughter whose dancing
Is talentless prancing,
What’s next? Bristol’s Idol show wailin’?
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Poor Newt Gingrich! Periodically, he starts feeling neglected. So he begins making noise about running for president, in order to drum up media attention.
This usually turns out to be more about peddling books than making it into the Oval Office. But this time Pat Buchanan thinks Newt is serious. Unfortunately for Newt, Buchanan also thinks Newt’s gone off the deep end with his so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” remarks:
This week, disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R), hoping to make the case against the proposed Park51 community center, compared Muslim Americans to Nazis. On MSNBC yesterday, Pat Buchanan — yes Pat Buchanan — said Gingrich went too far.
Now being too wingnutty for Pat Buchanan is no mean feat:
It’s “absurd,” said Buchanan. “There is no valid comparison there.”
Buchanan also called Gingrich a “political opportunist” who’s trying to be “more controversial than Sarah Palin,” who would be his potential primary challenger in the 2012 presidential election.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
The ambitious Republican Newt
Once was Speaker, but then got the boot.
He so longs to be Prez
That he willingly says
Stuff Buchanan thinks mad. What a hoot!
Related Posts: Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak, Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks, and Refudiating Sarah
I usually ignore Sarah Palin’s language-mangling. But her “refudiate” the “Ground Zero Mosque” Twitter “tweet” is too priceless not to comment on:
Refudiating Sarah (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, it’s time to rebootiate
And to malapropism “refudiate.”
Cuz your incorrect usage
Is language abusage.
Either learn to speak English, or mutiate.
Update: This is too funny: Sarah Palin excuses her malapropisms and accidental word coinages by comparing herself to William Shakespeare.
Is speculation that Sarah Palin’s speaking career’s starting to crash and burn just wishful thinking, or something more? One thing’s for sure — her Las Vegas keynote speech didn’t impress commercial realtors.
Panning Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I never “got” Palin’s appeal.
I’m confused. Please do tell. What’s the deal?
Ill-informed and quite crass,
With a voice that breaks glass —
Why on earth would folks pay for her spiel?
When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:
Notes on your hand,
Notes on your hand,
Lookin’ like a fool
With your notes on your hand.
Sorry, I watch way too much American Idol.
But relying on a cheat-sheet on your left hand during a friendly Q & A session is rich, coming from a woman who disparages President Obama’s (fictitious) inability to speak without a teleprompter.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sarah Palin comes armed when she speaks
With crib notes on “hand” for sneak peeks.
Guess she’d better not wash
Before speeches. Oh gosh,
I sure hope that those scrawls ain’t antiques.
On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century.
Thanks also to Dick Armey for his help in electing Democrat Bill Owens. (I understand Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman has a big, wet kiss for Dick Armey too.)
And now it’s time for a limerick:
Celebrating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, your meddling is great.
I just love what you did to my state.
Your GOP purge
Will make Democrats surge
As you spread anti-moderates hate.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 6th, 2013The housecleaning over at Fox News didn’t stop with Sarah Palin: Dick Morris has been cast out, as well.
That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Say goodbye to the Dick Morris snarl.
Dick (like Palin) can no longer gnarl
All his poisonous spews,
Perched at Fox Cable News.
But alas, Fox is still keeping Karl.
Tags: Dick Morris, Fox News, Karl Rove, Media Humor, Political Commentator, Sarah Palin
Posted in Fox News Humor, Karl Rove, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »