Posts Tagged ‘Robert Mueller’

Whiner-In-Chief (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Trump: 2 years of my term were ‘stollen’”

The first half of Trump’s term has been “stollen,”
Complains Donald by tweet; he is all-in
On his claim of harassment.
His Twitter amassment
Of gripes shows the guy can’t stop bawlin’.

Trump Testy Over Mueller Testimony (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Objects to Mueller Testifying Before Congress”

Donald Trump is beginning to panic
Over threats to a long reign, tyrannic:
What has roused Donald’s fear?
Mueller’s said he’ll appear
Before Congress. (Cue terror volcanic.)

Republicans Scan Mueller Report … And Shrug (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019

Have Republican consciences shrunk
To the point where the GOP’s sunk?
Donald’s Senator/flunkies
Scan Mueller like junkies
Who (strung out on Trump) deem it bunk.

Trump’s “Complete And Total Exoneration” (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2019

New York Magazine Headline: “Trump Aides Fear He Is Overselling His ‘Exoneration’”

Trump lies, as he brags to our nation
That he’s gotten complete vindication
From the Mueller Report,
While some staffers exhort:
Don’t distort please, in worried frustration.

Release The Damn Report! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

I don’t care if it sounds like I’m chiding;
The principle’s clear, overriding:
We’ve a strong need-to-know
All that Mueller can show.
What are Donald and William Barr hiding?

The Press Messes Up Yet Again (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

Eric Boehlert on Twitter: “the press is now doing postmortems on the Mueller Report, which they haven’t read.”

Dear press, do not do a postmortem
On the Mueller Report. Please abort ’em.
It’s unseen and unread,
So you can’t put to bed
Or assess it. Don’t write or report ’em.

Trump Cronies v. Schiff (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

Headline: “Schiff smacks back at Republicans calling for him to resign”

Chairman Schiff’s under heavy attack
By many a Trump-ally hack;
From the truth they all travel
To yell: Yield the gavel!
But they’re trumped by his data-filled whack.

William Barr (Trump’s Savior?) (Limerick)

Monday, March 25th, 2019

William Barr is as sleazy as Bork.
(His tongue has been pierced by a fork.)
Donald got what he bought.
Let’s just hope that he’s caught
By the courts in the State of New York.

Limerick Ode To Michael Flynn

Wednesday, December 19th, 2018

“Flynn gets slapped for lawyer stunt claiming he was somehow set up”

If you’re tempted to try legal stunts,
Take this lesson from Flynn, who’s a dunce:
When you feign being set up,
Your troubles won’t let up;
Fed’ral judges detest such affronts!

The Beauty Of A Butina Deal (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2018

Headline: “Accused Russian spy Maria Butina appears poised to plead guilty”

Donald Trump should be tied up in knots,
Cuz Maria Butina knows lots,
And it looks like she’ll squeal;
She has just made a deal.
Oy gevalt! Trump may actually plotz.

“Smocking Gun” Mockery (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2018

From a Trump tweet today: “No Smocking Gun…No Collusion.”

Donald tweets about guns that ain’t “smocking,”
Which occasions a whole lot of mocking.
Poor Trump’s in a bind,
For soon he will find
Much bad news and “clean” coal in his stocking.

Mueller’s Got Him! (Limerick)

Saturday, December 8th, 2018

Headline: “Mueller Is Telling Us: He’s Got Trump on Collusion

Robert Mueller’s got Trump on collusion.
Is there evidence? Yes, a profusion!
Mueller’s caught him red-handed.
Trump’s never been candid;
With Russians he banded. (Conclusion)

The GOP’s Silence Is Deafening (Limerick)

Saturday, December 8th, 2018

From Pulitzer Prize-nominated journalist Victoria Brownworth: “It’s extraordinary that the GOP leadership has said not one word about the events of the last 24 hrs. A sitting US president has been named as a felon. A felon. And they are silent.”

Now that Donald has clearly been named
As a criminal, who could be blamed
For wondering when
Republican men
Will acknowledge their party’s been shamed?

Sentencing Memo Mania

Thursday, December 6th, 2018

“Tomorrow is going to be a big day. Both Manafort and Cohen’s sentencing memorandums will be released by the Mueller team.”

More sentencing memos tomorrow!
I’m glad, but will suffer great sorrow,
If they’re filled with redactions;
Need facts, not subtractions!
Else I’ll cry and need tissues to borrow.

Trump: “Witness Tamperer In Chief” (Limerick)

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Kellyanne Conway’s Husband Accuses Trump of Witness Tampering”

Donald’s latest illegal pursuit:
Witness tamp’ring on Twitter. The coot
Injudiciously hurts
His case; his tweet-blurts
Furnish proof Trump can never refute.

Mueller V. Kushner (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Jared Kushner in trouble as Mueller expands probe to his foreign money”

Seems that Jared’s in trouble. Too bad!
(Just another Trump family cad!)
He’s had dealings financial
Suspicious — substantial!
And Mueller is after him. SAD!!!

Trump’s Need To Be Number 1 Pays Off: He’s Mueller’s “Individual 1” (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “In Mueller investigation, Trump is now ‘Individual 1’

“Individual Número 1”
(Adding “number” in Spanish for fun.)
The Donald’s been “named”
In Fed court filings, blamed
For some felonies. Donald’s undone!

Trump’s Need To Be Number 1 Pays Off: He’s Mueller’s “Individual 1” (Limerick)

Mueller Closes In (Limerick)

Friday, November 30th, 2018

Trump distracted at G20:

Mueller’s hunt for the truth’s been protracted,
And the Donald is rather distracted.
Though he’s tried to obstruct,
Trump has failed, so he’s fucked;
Robert Mueller’s still uncounteracted.

Mueller Tightens The Noose (Limerick)

Thursday, November 29th, 2018

Robert Mueller is tight’ning the noose,
Making progress in cooking Trump’s goose.
Can Trump save his own bacon?
The Donald looks shaken.
How long can he stay on the loose?

Trump’s Really Really Extra Bad Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

“Guilty” Manafort ain’t going free,
And Cohen has taken a plea.
So brace for more tweets
Packed with self-serving bleats;
Whiny Trump can’t let anything be.