Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Planned ignorance, such is the scheme
That conservatives love — what a dream:
Withhold info that’s needed
And ought to be heeded.
That’s the key to get wins for their team.
Whitewashing textbooks and refusing to allow the CDC to study gun violence are but two examples.
Republicans are feigning horror at the Ted Kennedy tribute video played at the Democratic National Convention. It seems using Teddy v. Mitt debate footage that makes Romney look pathetic, somehow dishonors the deceased Ted Kennedy. Yeah … right.
Here’s RNC Chairman Reince Priebus on Twitter: “Classless Dems use tribute video of deceased Ted Kennedy to attack Mitt Romney.”
Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Reince Priebus, Republican knave,
Disapproves of how Dem pols behave:
They showed Ted debate Mitt!!!
Angry tweet — what a twit!
Just St. Reagan can speak from the grave.
Newt Gingrich demolished Mitt in South Carolina. Newt’s surging in Florida. And Romney’s large national lead is collapsing. Needless to say, the Republican establishment is starting to panic:
To the extent Newt threatens the Establishment, it’s because of his electability–or lack thereof. The GOP’s mandarins see Gingrich’s nomination as a sure way to blow their chance of deposing Barack Obama. They see Gingrich as the political equivalent of a Fukushima nuclear plant worker, with polls showing him to be lethally irradiated by his negative approval ratings. Whereas Mitt Romney is running about even with Barack Obama in head-to-head polling, Newt loses by double-digit margins. Sure, those numbers could change if Gingrich beats Romney and wins the nomination, with all the accolades it entails. On the other hand, his grandiosity syndrome may kick in, as it has before, and render him a laughing stock. Hence the many Establishment Republicans now saying things like, “Newt means losing 45 states.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Limerick Ode To Republican Panic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican powers-that-be
Are scared of a Newt-nominee:
Newt’s grandiose ways
Could trigger malaise,
As voters to Democrats flee.
A Trump-moderated Republican debate? Even Karl Rove says it’s a terrible idea.
Damn! Me — agreeing with Karl Rove. That’s seriously scary!
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney did the classy thing, for once, adding his name to the list of candidates who’ve declined the Trump Debate Invite. So far, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Romney have declined to participate, while Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have accepted.
Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debate moderation’s an art,
And practitioners need to be smart,
Diplomatic, well versed—
In the topic immersed.
Donald Trump? Not just bad. Off the chart!
UPDATE: Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has come out against the Donald Trump debate, citing as his reason Trump’s ongoing flirtation with an independent run for president. Additionally Perry has now declined his debate invitation.
Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.
That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.
And now, my latest limerick:
Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond:
STEELE: So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.
If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? …
And so it’s time for yet another Michael Steele limerick:
Steeley Plan For Health Care
By Madeleine Begun Kane
U.S. health reform’s easy, says Steele.
Simply get in a room — do the deal.
Whether access or cost
Is the problem, accost
Those involved, do the deal, and get real.
It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. And it’s not just his humiliating apology to Rush Limbaugh, his mismanagement of the RNC, and a pair of ethics issues:
In just a month on the job, Steele has insisted that government jobs aren’t real jobs. He’s raised the specter of undermining moderate Republican incumbents. He’s given multiple interviews in which he’s shown humiliating confusion about the basics of public policy. His efforts to make the Republicans “off the hook” and “beyond cutting edge” are already the subject of widespread ridicule. The man, by all appearances, doesn’t have the foggiest idea what he’s doing.
So what’s my take on all this? I think Michael Steele is perfect for the job:
Steele-Buyers’ Remorse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are Republicans starting to feel
That they erred when the named Michael Steele
As the RNC head?
(Maybe Limbaugh instead?)
Funny … Dems think that Steele is ideal.
After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. But sorry, Alaska. It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.
So here’s what I want to know: Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?
Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
Testy Republicans
Monday, November 30th, 2009By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative “purity test,” a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party “undesirables.”
Under this test (Reagan’s Unity Principle for Support of Candidates), if you’re not right-wing enough to pass muster on at least eight of ten position points, you forfeit RNC support.
How ironic and amusing that Ronald Reagan, the “purity test’s” namesake, couldn’t come close to passing it.
And that brings me to my latest double limerick:
Testy Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some Republicans want to ensure
That all of its members are pure:
Wrong on 3 of 10 planks?
Then it’s “Sorry, no thanks,”
Cuz you’re lacking in wingnut allure.
So how odd that their “God” would not pass
This purity test — what a gas!
Reagan’s record is clear:
He would fail, were he here.
Yet he’s Prez nonpareil, under grass.
Tags: Election Humor, GOP Humor, Irony, James Bopp, Purity Test, RNC, Ronald Reagan, Wingnuts
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor, Ronald Reagan, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »