I’ll say one thing for Donald Trump: He’s great at changing the rules and perplexing the political pundits.
Sheepish pundits are wiping their brow.
From “The Donald,” they’re having a cow.
They’ve been robbed of convictions;
When asked for predictions,
They groan and then beg, “Please, not now!”
Tuesday’s a big primary day:
Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.
So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.
Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.
Though my tweet-sized Maureen Dowd-style fake quote didn’t win last week’s New York Magazine contest, at least it got me an Honorable Mention.
Here’s my HM-winning entry:
Hill’s at war; vicious oval of ambition vs doting grandma dotage. Will Monica Redux push her past pantsuit to sweatsuit?
Earlier today, I posted about Karl Rove and Dick Morris being benched by Fox News. I couldn’t resist writing another limerick on the topic:
Ousted Pundits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Morris and Rove, what a blow:
Fox has noticed you ain’t “in the know.”
Special leave is now needed
Before we are treated
To blowhards like you on a show.
Apparently, Karl Rove’s election night histrionics pushed Roger Ailes too far. Rove’s been benched.
…Ailes has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now. For Karl Rove and Dick Morris — a pair of pundits perhaps most closely aligned with Fox’s anti-Obama campaign — Ailes’s orders mean new rules. Ailes’s deputy, Fox News programming chief Bill Shine, has sent out orders mandating that producers must get permission before booking Rove or Morris.
Karl Rove’s Ailing Punditry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Roger Ailes appears sick of Rove’s failin’
To get anything right, so he’s bailin’:
Fox News has been told
Not to book that old scold.
But alas, Fox still carries Ms. Palin.
Up until now, I’ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods’ serial philandering. But Brit Hume’s outrageous comments leave me no choice. According to Hume, if Tiger Woods wants forgiveness, he must convert from Buddhism to Christianity:
Tiger Woods should turn his back on Buddhism and become a Christian to be forgiven for cheating on his wife, Hume told Fox News’ Chris Wallace Sunday.
“The extent to which he can recover seems to me depends on his faith,” said Hume. “He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of redemption and forgiveness offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger is, Tiger turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.”
You can watch the charming video over at Crooks and Liars.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain’t Kosher
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Tiger Woods’ rep has really been hurt.
Hume’s solution? The guy should convert:
Be a Buddhist no more —
Enter Christian faith’s door.
Get redemption for chasing each skirt.
Related Posts: Fuming About Hume; and Petraeus and Crocker Face Hume Humiliation
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
