Headline: “Paul Ryan: Trump ‘didn’t know anything about government’ and ‘I wanted to scold him all the time'”
Craven Ryan is finally “brave,”
Slamming Donald, the President/Knave.
When it mattered, he’d cower.
Now Paul’s out of power;
Missed his op to stop Donald’s crime wave.
Headline: “Paul Ryan sure wishes we could have fixed the deficit he helped explode”
Good riddance, Paul Ryan. Buh-bye,
To a craven and faux-wonkish guy.
“Budget hawk?” What a joke!
You’re a tax-cutting bloke,
And your life’s a big deficit lie!
Headline: “Trump Bashes Paul Ryan Over Birthright Citizenship”
The Donald is having a fight
With Paul Ryan, and Ryan is right.
I’m in need of a breather;
Agreeing with either
Is painfully draining. Good night!
Dear Republicans: Jabber is cheap,
And it won’t force the Donald to keep
Mueller’s Russia probe going.
The danger is growing.
You’re emboldening Trump and his Veep.
Headline: “Donald Trump And GOP Leaders Could Be Enriched By Last Minute Tax Break Inserted Into Final Bill”
Corker’s tax “reform” “yes”-vote’s a blow!
So why did he switch it from “no?”
Mega real estate owners
(Like Corker) got boners
From a tax break that’s worth mega dough.
The tax “reform” process was stealthy,
And its impact’s acutely unhealthy.
The damage is clear;
We’ll lose ALL we hold dear,
As the rich become even more wealthy.
Dear Donald, your pleasure and awe
Over Trumpcare are marred by a flaw
Eas’ly found with a mouse:
It takes more than one house
To convert your bill into a law.
According to Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL), sick people don’t deserve affordable healthcare.
If you’re healthy, this means that you’re good.
Only bad folks get sick. Understood?
That’s the gospel of Mo;
Rep. Mo Brooks — what a schmo!
“Christian love” from the GOP hood.
Ryan’s power and clout are in doubt;
Reign adrift from its rout in the bout
Over health care reform,
The repeal/replace storm
Leaving Paul with a leverage drought.
TrumpCare’s dead, and the Donald is grim,
So he’s thrashing and bashing at whim.
Who’s at fault — Dems or Paul?
Freedom Caucus? We all
Know he’ll NEVER admit that it’s HIM!
Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”
Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.
They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.
But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.
John Boehner pretty much predicted today’s events in this article: “Now In Happy Retirement, John Boehner Admits Republicans Will Never Agree on Obamacare Repeal.”
I’m wond’ring if Boehner feels glee
At the TrumpCare affair, cuz no plea
Saved that bill from the brink.
Surely Boehner must think:
“Better Donald and Ryan than me!”
On healthcare, Trump gives up the store.
But the wingnuts say “No!” They want more!
Donald throws up his hands
At their endless demands;
It’s golf-time. This feels like a chore.
You think healthcare expenses are rough?
Wait till RyanCare’s passed. It’s so tough
On folks who ain’t rich,
You’ll say, “Life is a bitch!”
Yet some holdouts claim: “NOT mean enough!”
Trump’s been bitching about the publication of an old 1040 — a partial tax return that actually makes him look like a successful businessman and that does him no real harm. Moreover, he’s called it “fake news,” even though its validity was confirmed by Trump’s own office. So here’s my theory via limerick:
Dear Donald, the news makes you burn,
And your wiretap fib’s in an urn.
Ryan’s plan is a bust,
And distraction’s a must,
So I’m betting YOU leaked your return.
There’s an ad with a rather odd twist;
A GOP health ad, whose gist
Is the plan that replaces
Obamacare’s aces…
What a shame such plan DOESN’T exist.
The American Action Network, a conservative advocacy group linked to House GOP leadership, is running an ad claiming that an unidentified Republican “plan will create a health insurance system that has ‘more choices,’ ‘better care,’ and ‘lower costs’ than the ACA.”
You can watch the BS ad here.
Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:
“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”
Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!
Most press coverage about the “cleaning the barn” two-year “budget deal,” negotiated by Boehner as he was handing off his Speaker gig to Paul Ryan, is unduly optimistic. It tends to lull us into thinking that the opportunity for House wingnuts to wreak havoc has been largely eliminated for a substantial period of time.
But that really isn’t true. Why not? Because, generally speaking, there are three broad opportunities for Tea Party types to threaten or cause shutdowns.
1: Budget bills.
2: Debt ceiling crises.
3: Appropriation bills.
And, alas, only the first two items on that list were resolved, leaving ample opportunities for essential appropriation bills to be saddled with unacceptable riders. For instance, riders eliminating Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood, to name just two. In other words:
Right-wing Republicans can still pursue their goals through riders on appropriations bills—and, if they don’t get their way, shut down the government.
With Ryan as Speaker, don’t think
That we aren’t stuck right on the brink
Of Tea Party trouble.
It still can cause rubble
Through spending bills yet to gain ink.
The fact that the budget’s resolved
And the ceiling on debt ain’t involved,
Should not make you relieved.
If you are, you’re deceived,
Cuz the poison pill risk isn’t solved.
The House must appropriate cash,
Via bills which the wingnuts can trash
Through riders from guys
With Tea Party ties,
Turning programs we need into ash.
If that happens, then what can be done?
Only vetoes, and those aren’t fun.
But the blackmailing Hill
Can’t prevail on such bill!
Are there any good choices? Nay! None.
I have read each Paul Ryan demand,
Which he labels “requests.” They won’t stand.
There is no way that raucous
So-called “Freedom Caucus”
Assents, and that’s Ryan’s scheme grand.
When you don’t want a job, then you’re free
To ask for the world, which you see
Is what Ryan has done.
They say “No?” Then he’s won…
And back to his old job he’ll flee.
Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:
Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout —
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*
*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
