Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

Republican creativity never ceases to amaze me. Here’s the latest in Iowa’s battle against teenage promiscuity:

Seven Republicans in the Iowa House are pushing a bill to prohibit parents of minor children from getting a “no fault” divorce and the proposal could be debated in a House committee this week.

A three-member subcommittee debated the bill today. Representative Tedd Gassman, a Republican from Scarville, said he’s concerned about the negative impact divorce has on children.

“In my opinion, it’s time to look out for the children instead of constantly worrying about the adults,” Gassman said.

Representative Gassman said the issue is “near and dear” to his heart because his daughter and son-in-law recently divorced, putting his granddaughter at risk.

“There’s a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous?” Gassman said. “What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?”

Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If your children are minors, watch out!
You may have to stay wed to that lout:
It seems no-fault divorce
May be nixed, as of course,
By Iowan wingnuts with clout.

Limerick Ode To Mitt-Simplicity

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

I’ve been meaning to comment on Mitt Romney’s cluelessly callous remarks to students at Otterbein University in Ohio:

…Mitt Romney told students that, his friend, Jimmy John, started a business by borrowing $20,000 from his parents at a low interest rate. Romney suggested anyone in the audience could do the same:

“…Take a shot, go for it, take a risk, get the education, borrow money if you have to from your parents, start a business.”

In other words, Romney wants students to be “job creators,” but he has no plans to help them. Now if you’re a rich “job creator,” that’s another story.

Limerick Ode To Mitt-Simplicity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mitt, I was grateful and glad
That you shared the quick fix to be had
For youths who can’t pay
For college today:
Start a biz with a loan from your dad.

1996 Humor Column About Underwear Shopping With My Mom

Monday, January 5th, 2009

Thanks to all of you for your kind emails, comments, and Twitter tweets about my mother’s death. I really appreciate it!

In my mother’s honor, I’m posting a 1996 humor column she inspired during happier (and funnier) times:

Secret Shopper
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’m not going in there. No way. Forget it.”

My seventy-something mother’s stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I’d just suggested.

She and I had spent the entire afternoon combing through three department stores for the definitive pair of panties. Or at least my mom’s idea of same. This illusive undergarment had to be loose, comfortable, 100% cotton, and totally devoid of lace. And that was just for starters. It also had to completely cover my mother’s hips and come in a large size, the exact number of which she resolutely refused to disclose. … (Secret Shopper is continued here.)

Rest In Peace, Mom

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

2008 was a very difficult year for me and for my family. My father died in January, and my mother died December 30th and is being buried tomorrow.

Rest in peace, mom. I hope you and dad are together again.

I love you both and miss the two of you more than my words can express.

Beatrice Begun (1925-2008)