And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Pelosi’s a female, it’s true. So is Haley, and both oppose YOU. Nonetheless, it’s unwise To (while spinning your lies) Confuse those two gals, as you spew.
Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:
Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”
With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?
Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”
When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.
It would be hard to think of a worse candidate for the House Education Committee than Marjorie Taylor Greene. Yet, here we are:
NBC News: “House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., on Thursday denounced House Republican leaders for appointing Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., to the committee overseeing education after she has questioned the legitimacy of mass shootings and harassed student survivors.”
The Speaker is angry, you’ll glean;
Education Committee for Greene?
Greene’s a pol with no scruples:
Mass shooting of pupils
Was mocked by her – cruelly obscene!
Headline: “Trump reportedly won’t meet with Pelosi on a coronavirus bill, or for any reason, because he’s mad at her”
Trump won’t meet with Pelosi; he’s bruised
And aggrieved, wounded, hurt — feels misused.
She impeached him and tore
Up his speech, so he’s sore.
Yes he needs her, but contact? Refused!
Headline: “Pelosi trashes Trump address: ‘He shredded the truth, so I shredded his speech'”
Said Nancy, “He shredded the truth,
“So I shredded his speech.” Not ‘uncooth,’
But an act overdue.
Donald’s SOTU was true???
Happy hunting for facts! Try a sleuth.
“New documents show why the president has been trying to hide evidence from Congress.”
New proof’s in the public domain,
Which may prove to be Donald Trump’s bane.
So though Nancy’s demand
Was not met, those who’ve panned
Her may rue this large evidence gain.
Headline: “Pelosi says Trump ‘scared’ of impeachment inquiry in exclusive ABC News interview”
The Donald appears to be scared,
As his villainous actions are bared.
He is used to eschewing
A price for wrong-doing.
So for punishment, Trump’s unprepared.
That diss! How did Nancy unearth it?
It’s the ultimate slam! Did she birth it?
Despite fervent beseeching,
She’s anti-impeaching.
Her reason? Trump just is “not worth it.”
Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”
Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:
Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.
Dear Donald, I see that the state
Of our Union is closed, so the date
That you’re set to appear
In my House (nearly here)
Isn’t great. “Speak” in writing … or wait.
When Pelosi says “no,” she means “NO!”
Trump will NOT get his wall-building dough.
Unlike Donald, she’ll walk
The walk and won’t balk.
Nancy’s toughness is true. Trump’s? Just SHOW!
The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.
Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”
The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.
The odds of a shutdown are growing,
And the BS-packed blame-game is flowing.
Blame Pelosi, they blare.
Schumer! Durbin! I swear,
Those Republican noses are growing.
Headline: “McCarthy calls on incoming Democrats to embrace bipartisanship, not ‘food fight’ or investigations”
Kev McCarthy, of Party-First rule,
Must believe ev’ry Dem is a fool.
Now that Dems run the House,
That hypocrite louse
Touts bipartisanship. What a tool!
Trump had the audacity to threaten the Democrats: He “warned he would not work with Democrats if they continue to support the special counsel investigation and are ‘going to do presidential harassment.’”
Donald’s warnings to Dems are confusing;
Also foolish, bizarre, and amusing:
“Presidential harassment”
Must stop! If the Ass meant
To scare us, he must have been boozing.
Pelosi’s a powerful lass;
I loved how she kicked Donald’s ass.
Then she stomped the insurgents
And conquered deter-gents.
That woman has skills, smarts, and brass.
Some claim Donald was goaded by Chuck
Into owning the shutdown. Good luck
With excuses as lame
As THAT. Who’s to blame
For this misstep? It’s President Schmuck.
In the “fiscal cliff” negotiations, Republicans are irrationally demanding a hike in the Medicare eligibility age — what Nancy Pelosi refers to as “a trophy that the Republicans want.”
As Ezra Klein explains, this would not save money or help solve the health care cost problem, and it would hurt lots of people. Unfortunately, Republicans seem to favor symbolism over substance, and raising the Medicare eligibility age would be “a signal that they won something big on entitlements.”
Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
GOPers want change that ain’t sage:
Raise the Medicare-el’gible age.
This does harm — won’t address
The health care cost mess:
It’s the fruit of entitlements-rage.
Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump
Saturday, January 20th, 2024My latest limerick requires a bit of background info, for those who missed Trump’s latest cognitive quagmire: In New Hampshire this past week, Trump converted his Pelosi lie about January 6 security into a Nikki Haley lie.
And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Nancy Pelosi, Nikki Haley, Republicans Humor, Speaker Pelosi, Trump
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