“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea
From John Lauro, last week in DC.
But the judge should be tough,
Cuz oddly enough
John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.
Posts Tagged ‘Mike Pence’
Whining For Time (Limerick)
Monday, August 7th, 2023Smith v. Trump (Limerick)
Friday, August 4th, 2023Though Donald’s the lowest of low,
His infamy slide’s been too slow.
But the courts are all humming,
And justice is coming;
Trump’s finally battling a pro.
Donald Trump’s Finally Trumped (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023Another indictment’s been filed,
And Donald’s both anxious and riled
And undoubtedly frightened.
The vise has been tightened,
And law shall prevail! (“Will be wild!”)
Who Caused The Jan. 6 Violence? It’s Pence, says Trump (Limerick)
Thursday, March 16th, 2023Washington Post Headline: “Trump claims violence he inspired on Jan. 6 was Pence’s fault”
“The former president suggested the riot could have been avoided if his vice president had cooperated in overturning the results”
As usual, Trump makes no sense
And his distance from truth is immense.
Who’s at fault for Jan. 6?
Here’s the “culprit” Trump picks:
He’s now blaming the violence on Pence.
Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2022Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”
On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.
What Will It Take For Pence To Stop Repeating Trump’s Lies? (Limerick)
Thursday, March 4th, 2021My latest limerick was inspired by a recent Mike Pence op-ed in The Daily Signal. Here’s how he begins: “After an election marked by significant voting irregularities and numerous instances of officials setting aside state election law, I share the concerns of millions of Americans about the integrity of the 2020 election.”
Dear Mike Pence, I am forced to surmise
That you haven’t stopped backing Trump’s lies.
He endangered your life!
Yet your statements are rife
With Trump myths. That’s bizarre and unwise.
Pence’s Flying Friend (Limerick)
Thursday, October 8th, 2020Headline: “A fly sat atop Mike Pence’s head for two minutes during the V.P. debate.”
A fly’s lengthy stay on Mike’s head
(Two minutes, until the fly fled)
Went unnoticed by Pence,
Or ignored. Makes no sense,
Unless Pence is a robot … or dead.
Trump’s Real Mission? (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 7th, 2020I’ve tried, but can’t shake my suspicion
That Trump and Mike Pence have this mission:
To infect Biden’s team —
That’s the Donald’s wet dream,
Which he thinks cancels out his condition.
Pence To the Rescue (Limerick)
Thursday, February 27th, 2020Headline: “Mike Pence was criticized for his handling of Indiana’s HIV outbreak. He will lead the U.S. coronavirus response.”
A pandemic? No worries! Mike Pence
Is in charge, which makes wonderful sense.
No doubt he’ll repeat
His HIV feat.
So relax! Let the praying commence.
Mayor Pete v. Pence (Limerick)
Friday, April 12th, 2019There’s a Mike Pence/Pete Buttigieg feud
Cuz the Veep is an anti-gay dude,
Who pretends to be pious
To justify bias…
As he praises a Prez, crude and lewd.
A 2-Mike Limerick
Friday, December 14th, 2018I am betting Pence ain’t in the clear;
He ran the transition, I fear,
And he knew what Mike Flynn
Was up to. I’ll grin
At a Mike Pence arrest. How I’ll cheer!
Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2018Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”
Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.
Resign Already! (Limerick)
Friday, August 24th, 2018Hey Donald, it’s time to show spine.
Save your nation and fam’ly — resign!
You destroy and debase;
You’re an Oval disgrace.
While you’re at it, take Pence, your Veep-swine.
Hypocritical Pence (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 8th, 2018Mike Pence’s hypocrisy cries out for a limerick:
Vice President Mike Pence once argued the president of the United States should be held to the highest moral standards to determine whether he should resign or be removed from office.”
Pence made the argument in two columns in the late 1990s, where he wrote that then-President Bill Clinton’s admission of an affair with a White House intern and prior lies to the public about the matter, possibly under oath, meant Clinton should be removed from office.
When Bill Clinton was Prez, Pence decried
And denounced Bill’s affairs. How he tried
To get Clinton expelled.
But such quibbles seem quelled;
He’s Trump’s VEEP now, so standards have died.
Gun Ban Hypocrisy (Limerick)
Monday, April 30th, 2018USA Today headline: “NRA draws fire from backers, foes for gun ban at event with Vice President Pence”
“Lots of guns make you safer in schools.”
That’s the NRA’s stance — greedy tools!
So they’d arm ev’ry teach,
But when Pence gives a speech
At their meeting — NO GUNS!!! — them’s the rules.
Trump/Pence Flag Abuse (Limerick)
Monday, October 9th, 2017Donald Trump was again on the hunt
For distraction — a tax-funded stunt,
So he told his Veep-peon
To locate a knee on
The ground and to flag the affront.
Taking umbrage at “sins” and “misdeeds”
Is Mike’s hobby; that’s how the guy feeds.
Off he flies to a game
With his pre-ordained claim:
Those Flag-bashing blacks are bad seeds!
On The Other (Very Tiny) Hand (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017At the risk of appearing too dense,
I must ask if it makes any sense
To impeach Donald Trump,
If success means we’d jump
To a Theocrat President Pence.
You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2017“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”
Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.
Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.
Our Mother-Effing Veep? (Limerick)
Monday, January 23rd, 2017Are you as creeped out as I am by VP Pence calling his wife “mother?”
A fellow who calls his wife “mother?”
In the 21st Century? Brother!
That’s our VEEP, who wants gov
To control whom we love
And our bodies. Please get us another!
Here’s a motherlode of Pence quotes, thanks to Stephen Rodrick of RollingStone:
While Mike Pence was governor, his relationship with the Democratic minority in the legislature was crap. Someone on his staff suggested having the Democratic leaders over to the governor’s mansion for dinner. The table was set for 20, but there were only around seven in attendance. One unlucky legislator stuck next to Pence tried to make conversation, but found even at dinner she couldn’t shift Pence off his talking points. Gov. Pence shouted to his wife, Karen, his closest adviser, at the other end of the table.
“Mother, Mother, who prepared our meal this evening?”
The legislators looked at one another, speaking with their eyes: He just called his wife “Mother.”
Maybe it was a joke, the legislator reasoned. But a few minutes later, Pence shouted again.
“Mother, Mother, whose china are we eating on?”
Mother Pence went on a long discourse about where the china was from. A little later, the legislators stumbled out, wondering what was weirder: Pence’s inability to make conversation, or calling his wife “Mother” in the second decade of the 21st century.
Pence Offended, But Apparently Not THAT Offended (Limerick)
Saturday, October 8th, 2016Donald Trump has expressed his “remorse,”
Says Mike Pence, who is “grateful,” of course.
He hopes Trump will impart
What he has “in his heart.”
It seems Pence doesn’t want a ‘divorce.’
