Posts Tagged ‘Media’
Saturday, October 31st, 2009
One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. Fox News Live Desk’s Trace Gallagher seems especially fond of it, making repeated (and inaccurate) comparisons to Tolstoy’s War and Peace. (Well, we always knew that Fox is fond of fiction.)
“Short On Facts” Fox (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When on substance your grasp just ain’t strong,
Simply bitch that the health bill’s too long.
“War and Peace is much shorter,”
Rants Trace (Fox “reporter”),
And even on that Fox is wrong.
Tags: Fox News, Health Reform, Law Satire, Legislation Satire, Leo Tolstoy, Literature Humor, Media, Russian Novels, Talking Points, Trace Gallagher
Posted in Fox News Humor, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | Comments Off on “Short On Facts” Fox
Monday, October 19th, 2009
Last week I managed to avoid the Balloon Boy media frenzy. Reality show participants with an endangered child on an AWOL helium balloon? Yeah … right. Then again, I don’t spend my time watching kids being rescued from wells either.
In any event, I’m not surprised that Wife Swap participants (and reality TV series pitchers) Richard and Mayumi Heene may be arrested for “concocting a publicity stunt by pretending that their young son [Falcon] had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the skies above Fort Collins, Colo.”
The Heenes’ lawyer David Lane expects the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office to file charges this week, and Denver man Robert Thomas says Richard Heene gave him advance word of a media stunt.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Heinous Heenes?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Two publicity mongers named Heene
Are accused of a hoax quite obscene:
Claimed their wayward balloon
Held their child. Opportune
For a shot at “reality” green.
Update: I’ve heard the Heenes’ name pronounced three different ways, two of which screw up my rhyme scheme. Since I’m not sure which pronunciation is correct, I guess I’ll leave my limerick up as written.
Tags: Balloon Boy, Colorado, David Lane, FAA, Falcon Heene, Mayumi Heene, Media, Publicity, Reality TV, Richard Heene, Robert Thomas, Weather Balloons, Wife Swap
Posted in Celebrity Verse, Crime, Entertainment Humor, Hi Tech Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Science Verse, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Weather Satire | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. The Americano, a news site for Hispanic-Americans, is a transparent effort to lure memory-impaired Latinos over to the GOP.
A two-verse limerick in honor of the hypocritical Newt Gingrich:
Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a long-standing view from the right:
Education bilingual’s a blight.
That’s how Newt has opined.
Dearest Newt, changed your mind?
Quite the pander — your bilingual site.
Guess you’re hoping Latinos forget
Your stance that bilingual’s all wet,
That they’ll vote GOP.
But Latinos shall see
Through your bilingual lies on the Net.
Related Posts: Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks; and Ode To Fresh Faces
Tags: Bilingual Education, Hispanics, Latinos, Media, Newspeak, Newt Gingrich, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Bilingualism, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
I may be a non-practicing Jew, but I’m deeply offended by Glenn Beck’s attempt to co-opt and politicize Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Beck, you are bad to the bone,
So it’s time that you start to atone.
And stop trying to steal
Jewish holy days. Heel!
Kindly leave all my people alone.
UPDATE: Don Davis says: Forget Yom Kippur, Glenn Beck Declares A National Circumcision Day.
Related Post: Bill O’Reilly’s Faux War On Christmas — Song Parody
Tags: Atonement, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Jewish Holidays, Media, Religion, Yom Kippur
Posted in Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 21st, 2009
The White House fashion police are at it again: First Lady Michelle Obama was caught wearing shorts on her way to a Grand Canyon vacation! The horror!
Ode To The White House Fashion Police (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Once again I just can’t help but frown
At the journalists going to town:
“The First Lady wore shorts,”
Blare the breathless reports.
Please Michelle, when you hike wear a gown.
Related Post: Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone
Tags: Clothing, Fashion, Fashion Police, First Lady, Grand Canyon, Media, Michelle Obama
Posted in Appearance Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Media Satire, Michelle Obama, Political Limericks, Social Satire, White House | 3 Comments »
Sunday, July 5th, 2009
Why does Sarah Palin need to be Alaska’s governor, when she has Facebook?
Translating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The media’s mean, so I quit:
(That’s the message that Palin has writ.)
And you don’t need a title
To do something vital.
I’m betting she runs against Mitt.
Tags: Alaska, Facebook, Governor Palin, Governors, Media, Republican Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Facebook Verse, Governors Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin | 2 Comments »
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake.
A double limerick, just for Rush Limbaugh:
De-Moralized?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.
When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!
Tags: Democrats, Hypocrisy, Limbaugh, Mark Sanford, Media, Obama, Philanderers, Radio, Republicans Humor, Scandals, Sins, Stimulus, Talk Shows, Womanizers
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Family Values Humor, Fiscal Policy, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh | 3 Comments »
Monday, June 15th, 2009
I tend to avoid embroilment in comment fights. But Sunday was an exception.
Over at Facebook (I’m at facebook.com/madkane, should you wish to befriend me) a George Stephanopoulos post had drawn some really crazed comments. The topic was the Sarah Palin / David Letterman brouhaha, and I couldn’t resist chiming in with this comment:
He was clearly referring to Palin’s unwed-mother/18 year old daughter, who apparently has become a spokesperson for abstinence and is in the public eye thanks to Palin’s actions. He apologized. Palin, instead of accepting his apology in a classy fashion, continues to distort and exploit what he said.
Nine minutes later an outraged woman named (I kid you not) Belle Blessing posted this over-the-top response:
Madelin, maybe you like perverts hanging out their tongues at your daughter or maybe you even offer her up to them. The majority of this American nation who still have their moral values in tack…don’t want the perverts giving second glance. The foundation that this country was founded on had higher moral values than letting the dirt bag over 50 population treat women and girls like sex slaves. The perverts should stick to passing toilet paper under the wall and picking up on other perverted men.
In an exercise of extreme self-control, I posted just this in response:
Dear Belle, I hope you and Sarah Palin will be very happy together. :)
Aren’t you impressed with my self-control?
Not so fast!
Twenty minutes later I just couldn’t help myself. Ms. Belle deserved a limerick, so I posted this:
There once was a woman named Belle,
Who believed I was destined for hell.
So self-righteous was she,
She condemned me with glee
And an arrogance no one could quell.
I feel much better now.
Tags: Abstinence, Bristol Palin, Comment Fights, Facebook, Letterman, Media, Palin, Self-Righteous, Stephanopoulos, Unwed Mothers
Posted in Facebook Verse, Gender Politics, George Stephanopoulos, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded “alternate reality” than Fox’s Sean Hannity. Columnist Dick Polman provides an excellent example:
On his Fox show one week ago, Sean Hannity told his credulous fans that President Obama had made a deliberate effort during his Cairo speech “to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” … Hannity even backed up his reporting by airing a video clip from the speech, with Obama saying: “I am aware that there are still some that would question or even justify the events of 9/11.”
…
… Hannity’s video clip of Obama was truncated after that single quoted sentence, omitting everything that followed. Here’s what Obama said next, none of which was aired for the Fox viewers:
“But let us be clear. Al Qaeda killed nearly 3000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people … These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” …
For that outrageous deception alone, Sean Hannity deserves a limerick:
Hannity Insanity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Hannity
Who strutted and showed off his vanity.
From his Fox chair he lied,
Took his fans for a ride,
And showed utter disdain for humanity.
Tags: 9/11 Sympathizers, Al Qaeda, Alternate Reality, Dick Polman, Fox News, Krauthammer, Lies, Media, Obama, Sean Hannity, Talk Show Hosts, Terrorism
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Foreign Policy, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sean Hannity Verse, Terrorism | 6 Comments »
Friday, May 29th, 2009
The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. Apparently, its pronunciation doesn’t sufficiently conform to Krikorian’s Anglo standards. So what’s his solution? He pronounces it any old way he feels like it. And he thinks the rest of us should do the same.
Krikorian argued that the proper pronunciation, preferred by the judge and her family, is “unnatural in English,” and “something we shouldn’t be giving in to.” It wasn’t clear which group of people constituted “we.”
Krikorian added that “newcomers” should “adapt” to how “countrymen say your name.” To do otherwise would be a failure of “multiculturalism.” He knows how to pronounce the Supreme Court nominee’s name, but he doesn’t like it, and would like others to join him in pronouncing it incorrectly.
After catching some well-deserved flack about these comments, Krikorian further embarrassed himself with this:
While in the past there may well have been too much social pressure for what sociologists call Anglo-conformity, now there isn’t enough. I think that’s a concern that most Americans share at some level, which is the root of the angst over excessive immigration, bilingual education, official English, etc.
If anyone deserves a limerick, it’s Mark Krikorian:
Ode To Mark Krikorian
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pronouncing some names can be tough.
When they’re foreign they’re weird and they’re rough.
Yes, Krikorian’s right.
Krik, they’re really a blight.
So one syllable’s surely enough.
Tags: Bilingual Education, Immigrants, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Mark Krikorian, Media, Names, National Review, Pronunciation, Sonia Sotomayor, Supreme Court
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
It’s simple enough to avoid Judge Sonia Sotomayor smear-tweets like these:
White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw.
Imagine a judicial nominee said “my experience as a white man makes me better than a latina woman” new racism is no better than old racism.
Just be sure not to follow Newt Gingrich’s Twitter feed.
If only it were as easy to dodge Newt on TV, in print, and on the Net.
And that brings me to my latest song parody, which you can sing to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:
Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks.
News cos eagerly come through.
They don’t care his claims ain’t true.
Gleefully he airs his lies,
Spreading venom, media buys.
Watch the ousted Newt proclaim,
Sonia is just a racist dame.
Darkly, Gingrich spews his views.
Can’t avoid him on the news.
Tags: Judiciary Satire, Latina, Law Satire, Lies, Media, News, Newt Gingrich, Obama Nominees, Racism, Smears, Song Parody, Sonia Sotomayor, Speaker, Supreme Court, Twitter
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court, Twitter | 8 Comments »
Monday, May 25th, 2009
The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. Of course, to have even a shot at avoiding their tortured lies, I’d have to cancel my Net connection, throw out my radios, and avert my eyes in the unlikely event that I encounter a newspaper.
Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a daughter named Liz
Who joined in the family biz.
The business was lying,
With all members vying
For liar-in-chief — each a wiz.
Tags: Dick Cheney Satire, Gitmo, Liars, Lies, Liz Cheney, Media, National Security, Newspapers, Rachel Maddow, Television, Torture
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Family Values Humor, Foreign Policy, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Liz Cheney, Media Satire, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rachel Maddow, Republicans Humor, Torture Humor | 8 Comments »
Saturday, May 16th, 2009
Republicans are truly gifted at changing the subject, and the media falls for it every time. Take CIA torture, for instance. Is the media focusing on who in the Bush administration broke the law and ordered torture? Of course not! Instead, the topic’s morphed into whether Nancy Pelosi is lying when she says the CIA misled Congress about torture.
Following Republican logic is never an easy task. But from what I can gather, here’s the Republican position: Bush’s CIA did nothing wrong, & Pelosi could have and should have stopped them.
In honor of the Republicans tortured position on torture, I’ve written them a theme song to the tune of Stephen Foster’s Camptown Races:
The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA did nothing wrong.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew and went along.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture is always right.
Torture can make our day.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
She could have got in the way.
Interrogation must be tough.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew we got too rough.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Never did break no laws.
Torture? Who, us? No way!
Pelosi’s nothing but a lying hag.
Nancy would lead you astray.
The CIA protects us all.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
It’s time Pelosi took the fall.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture was never done.
Torture is lots of fun.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
Nancy Pelosi should pay.
Tags: Bush, CIA, Congress Humor, Interrogation, Media, Music, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans Humor, Song Parody, Stephen Foster, Torture, Waterboarding
Posted in CIA Satire, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Iraq War Humor, Media Satire, Pelosi Verse, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 11th, 2009
Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh have been having quite the love fest lately. Of course, they’ve always been in bed together:
Dick and Rush,
And Rush and Dick—
The only real Republicans.
They really click.
The soulless man for Dick is Rush,
And Rush for Dick.
Love lying together.
(My apologies to the The Turtles.)
Tags: Cheney, Liars, Limbaugh, Media, Radio, Republicans Humor, Talk Shows, TV
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Media Satire, Music Humor, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh, Song Parodies | 2 Comments »
Friday, May 8th, 2009
Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.
Tags: Cheney, Face The Nation, Fox News Sunday, Gingrich, McCain, Media, Rebranding, Republican Rebranding, Stephanopoulos, Talk Shows, Television, TV
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
Newsflash via a Republican video ad: Obama is endangering the U.S. by consorting with foreign leaders like Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz.
Oooooh! Handshakes! Scary!
Quaking Over Handshakes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re endangered, the GOP says,
By a handshake with Hugo Chavez.
Seems the nation Bush left
Is wholly bereft
And too weak for some pics with the Prez.
Tags: Foreign Leaders, Hugo Chavez, King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz, Media, National Security, Obama Bow, Obama Handshake, Photo Ops, Republican Video Ads, Republicans Humor, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Ads, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Quaking Over Handshakes
Monday, April 13th, 2009
Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong.
Such, thankfully, was the case with the loony rantings indulged in by Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck and sundry Fox News personalities who “bet against the Obama administration’s ability to rescue Richard Phillips, the American ship captain who was taken hostage by Somali pirates.”
How those Fox nuts salivated in anticipation of Obama’s failure! And how disappointed they must surely be in the wake of Phillips’ rescue after the Obama-authorized killing of three pirates.
I, for one, don’t expect any gracious apologies any time soon. Do you?
Fox Pundits At Sea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama’s been tested and won.
Three pirates were killed with a gun.
Now will loons who foretold
That he’d fail to be bold
Say they’re sorry, congrats, job well done?
Tags: Cable, Fox, Gingrich, Glenn Beck, Media, Obama, Predictions, Pundits, Richard Phillips, Somali Pirates
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Fox Pundits At Sea
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
At long last, we have an answer to these burning questions: What kind of dog will Obama get daughters Malia and Sasha, and when will he get it? From a plethora of breathless press reports we learn that it’s a male Portuguese water dog puppy named Bo with a Kennedy pedigree.
Next on the press agenda? World peace. But first, a limerick:
Dogged Journalism
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a new White House dog. Stop the presses!
Yes, at last there’s an end to the guesses:
What dog will Obama
Acquire? Next drama:
Just who will clean puppy Bo’s messes?
Tags: Bo, First Dog, Journalism, Kennedy, Malia & Sasha, Media, Obama, Portuguese Water Dog, Press, White House Dog
Posted in Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
After President Obama’s outstanding performance during his second primetime press conference, the AP’s Ron Fournier had some column inches to fill. So, what words of wisdom did he share in his “news analysis?” Obama really “likes to have [his words] up on the Teleprompter.”
How nice to know we can count on Fournier to perpetuate the “Obama can’t talk without his Teleprompter crutch” rubbish. Apparently, poor Ron can’t write without a nonsensical meme:
Ode To Ron Fournier (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Ron, you have nothing to say.
But, alas, you’re on deadline today.
Just continue a meme
Like that lame prompter theme.
Maybe someday you’ll merit your pay.
Tags: AP, Deadlines, Media, Memes, News Conference, Obama, Press Conference, Ron Fournier, Teleprompter, Television
Posted in AP Humor, Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Press Conferences, Ron Fournier, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
I could have sworn that Obama’s 60 Minutes interview was both serious and informative. But I guess that’s what happens when you watch something yourself, instead of relying on press accounts. Silly me! Somehow I missed the part where Obama laughed it up over our economic hardship.
On the other hand, perhaps it’s because it NEVER HAPPENED!
Yes, there was a bit of gallows humor in the course of Steve Kroft’s interview with the President. But the laughter-police media has completely mischaracterized the President’s demeanor.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To The Laughter-Police
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Watch the press-buzzards busily mocking:
“The President laughed — oh, how shocking!”
Distortion’s their game
As they try to place blame.
Wake me up when there’s something worth knocking.
Tags: 60 Minutes, Bush, CBS, Economy, Gallows Humor, Interview, Laughter, Media, Obama, Punch Drunk, Steve Kroft
Posted in Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. The Americano, a news site for Hispanic-Americans, is a transparent effort to lure memory-impaired Latinos over to the GOP.
A two-verse limerick in honor of the hypocritical Newt Gingrich:
Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a long-standing view from the right:
Education bilingual’s a blight.
That’s how Newt has opined.
Dearest Newt, changed your mind?
Quite the pander — your bilingual site.
Guess you’re hoping Latinos forget
Your stance that bilingual’s all wet,
That they’ll vote GOP.
But Latinos shall see
Through your bilingual lies on the Net.
Related Posts: Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks; and Ode To Fresh Faces
Tags: Bilingual Education, Hispanics, Latinos, Media, Newspeak, Newt Gingrich, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Bilingualism, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »