Posts Tagged ‘Lawyers’

Sundry Trump Limericks & More

Thursday, September 28th, 2017

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Politico Headline of the Day: “Trump takes on a new cause: ‘Make the United Nations great'”

I don’t think we can take any more greatness.

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This headline deserves a limerick: “Price cut — Health Secy quits after Trump complains of travel ‘optics’”

Price is OUT! Why is Donald so mad?
It’s NOT that Tom’s plane use was bad.
Yes those charters were pricey,
But THAT’S not what’s dicey;
Trump’s upset by the “optics.” Egad!

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Trump’s hired a notoriously poor succession of personal lawyers since RussiaGate began. My limerick explains why.

The best lawyers prefer to be paid
YUUUUGE fees, right on time, for their aid,
And they’re bound to be miffed
When they find themselves stiffed…
Which explains why Trump’s DON’T make the grade.

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A 2-verse limerick about Trump’s retweeting a vile animation, described here by the LA Times:

“In the first part of the animation Trump retweeted on Sunday, the president is seen in golf attire, teeing off. The second shows footage of Clinton tripping as she boards a plane, with the video altered to show her being struck in the back with a golf ball.”

What’s it take to make Donald feel tough,
Like a fellow who has the right stuff?
Being seen with a swing
That’s so strong, he can fling
A ball, knocking Hill to her duff.

Nothing else can explain his retweet
Of a golf gif that Donald finds neat–
Animation conveying
Misogyny saying:
Striking women at will can’t be beat!

Limerick Ode To Same Sex Marriage

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

Will Femia, over at MaddowBlog, has challenged us to a “good old-fashioned marriage equality limericking bee.” Here’s my contribution:

Limerick Ode To Same Sex Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Same sex couples are quick to endorse
The spread of gay marriage, of course.
But the happiest folks
Are THESE women and blokes:
Hungry lawyers who handle divorce.

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

John Mortimer (Barrister, Author, Rumpole Creator) Dies at 85

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

I was very saddened to read that Rumpole creator John Mortimer died. Not only am I a fan of his books, but I had the pleasure of meeting, interviewing, and profiling John Mortimer for British Heritage Magazine back in 1996 … not to mention sharing champagne with him while we chatted.

Needless to say, I sipped very slowly.

We spoke about everything from feminism and God to computers and murderers. Here are some excerpts from my Mortimer profile:

Judges, according to Mortimer, “take themselves too seriously,” while prisons are a “university of crime.” Mortimer speaks from experience; he earned considerable acclaim as a barrister, especially for his successful defenses in censorship cases. He also represented many divorce clients and accused murderers during his barrister years. According to Mortimer, he much preferred the murderers.

I asked Mortimer which was more difficult to write, comedy or tragedy. “Comedy,” he answered without hesitation. “It is very easy to make people cry, be sad, be miserable. Farce is an incredibly difficult genre. Comedy requires enormous imagination. There are quite a lot of great tragedies, and there aren’t many great comedies.”

Mortimer was equally emphatic about the relative difficulties of his two careers. “Writing is much, much harder than being a lawyer. If you’re a lawyer you can rattle on doing things other people can do. If you’re a writer, you’ve got to do something which nobody else can do. Except writing has less disastrous results. If you write a bad book, no one goes to prison, which is rather a relief.”

Mortimer appears to relish making comments that would tend to provoke a rise, or at least a laugh. Indeed, he laughs easily and often, a condition I found quite contagious. When asked if it’s possible for men and women to communicate without gender getting in the way, he said, laughing, “No. Thank God for it. Vive La Difference.” He added with another chuckle, “I think women don’t want to be sex objects, but I’d love to be a sex object. My own ambition is to be loved only for my body.”

Mortimer, like Rumpole, enjoys making fun of feminists. Yet I sensed that behind his flippant love-me-for-my-body remark was a man who, again like Rumpole, measures women when it matters on merit alone. I suggested that while many women enjoy being sex objects, they don’t want gender to interfere with their careers. “Absolutely,” Mortimer responded, “and so it shouldn’t.”

You can read my entire John Mortimer interview here.

(Cross-posted on my general Humor Blog.)

Ode To Ron Kuby (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

Ron Kuby is known on the street
As a lawyer who rarely is beat.
And his show Doing Time
Is quite simply sublime.
Now Ron Kuby has learned how to Tweet.

And speaking of Twitter, you can follow me on Twitter here.