Our Supreme Court has messed with the law,
And political fears leave me raw.
So I got quite a fright
When the “Random Word” site
Elected to spew out “WITHDRAW.”
(This really happened, as you can see from the image below.)
Posts Tagged ‘Law Humor’
Random Limerick
Friday, July 5th, 2024Trump v. Everyone (Haiku)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2022“I’m immune from suits,”
Claims Trump, again and again.
Judges disagree.
Pondering Pardons (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020Is the almost-ex-prez on the skids?
Will he pardon himself and his kids?
While we don’t know for sure,
Seems he’ll never abjure
Engaging in acts law forbids.
Leading By Example (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018Headline: “Man Cites Trump After Groping Woman on Flight”
Trump’s impact is rather immense,
And it often defies common sense.
Grope a gal sans permission?
No need for contrition;
Just rely on the “Donald Defense!”
Clarence Thomas Speaks (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2016CNN 2/29/16 Headline: “Justice Clarence Thomas breaks 10-year streak, asks question in court.” (The issue before the court was whether a domestic assault conviction based on reckless conduct qualifies as a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence that would block firearm possession.)
Clarence Thomas can talk, after all;
Once famed for a decade-long haul
Of no-questions-in-court,
Now that Nino is mort,
He is having a gun-query ball.
Scalia (Song Parody To Leonard Bernstein’s Maria, from West Side Story)
Monday, July 6th, 2015Though I already wrote an Antonin Scalia limerick today, I’m itching for more. So I composed these song parody lyrics to the tune of “Maria.”
Now Scalia/Maria does sound obvious. So I’m surely not the first to use “Maria” to parody Scalia. But I don’t want to do a Google search, lest I be inadvertently influenced by someone else’s lyrics.
And with that disclaimer out of the way, here’s my parody:
Scalia,
The jiggery-pok’ry Scalia,
Treats justice like a game,
The worst judge I can name, you see.Scalia,
The wingnutty jurist, Scalia,
Demands the final word
With phrases so absurd, to me.Scalia,
When he loses a case, he’s sulking,
And his presence is always so hulking.Scalia,
The nastiest Justice, Scalia.Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, etc.
Scalia,
Pitches disses, instead of reason,
Disagreements with him — treats like treason.Scalia,
That sore-losing, pompous Scalia.The most odious person on that Court:
Scalia!
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
Monday, July 6th, 2015If you follow the U.S. Supreme Court, you know that Justice Scalia ended the term by hurling some colorful, spoiled-bratty insults at his fellow judges. His behavior was so over-the-top, that Slate created The Antonin Scalia “Sick Burn” Generator, an insult creator packed with Scalia-isms.
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Using lingo arcane and absurd,
Scalia must have the last word:
Gives “the bird” to his peers
With “pure apple sauce” jeers
He’s a “jiggery-pokery” turd.
Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch
Thursday, June 18th, 2015Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.
So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:
To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:
2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 24th, 2014Happy 225th birthday to the U.S. Supreme Court! (On Sept. 24, 1789 President George Washington signed the
Judiciary Act of 1789, which created a Supreme Court with six justices.)
Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems today marks the birth of a court,
The court of supreme last resort.
Chief Justice John Jay
Ran it back in the day.
I just wish it would do what it ort.
A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 8th, 2013I can’t help admiring the audacity and creativity of this fellow’s Citizens United-inspired legal argument:
A driver in San Rafael, California is attempting to appeal a traffic citation for driving alone in a High Occupancy Vehicle lane. Jonathan Frieman and his attorney, Ford Greene, argue that since Frieman had corporate incorporation papers in his car when he was stopped by an officer, he was actually carpooling at the time…
He’s sworn to chase the case all the way to the Supreme Court should the first trial not go his way in an attempt to “expose the impracticality of corporate personhood.”
A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not driving alone, said the guy
In the HOV lane, and here’s why:
Corp’rate personhood rules,
And my corp files, you fools,
Are right here. My defense — you must buy!
Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012Chances are, you’ve heard about the latest Supreme Court travesty:
In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled against a New Jersey man erroneously arrested during a 2005 traffic stop for a fine he had already paid. Today’s ruling holds that even people arrested for minor offenses can be subjected to strip searches.
Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thanks to Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia,
And their pals, cops can strip ya and see ya.
They don’t need any reason:
It’s strip searching season.
Our privacy’s gone! Mama mia!
Yet Another Modest Mormon Proposal (Limerick)
Friday, February 24th, 2012Continuing in the spirit of turnabout (for LDS’s dead Jews conversion practice) is fair play:
Yet Another Modest Mormon Proposal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I wonder what Mormons would do
If their dead were converted to Jew.
Would they think it okay
Since their dead could say, “Nay!”?
Or perhaps get a lawyer and sue.
(Related Post: A Modest Mormon Proposal (Limerick))
Cain’s Grandstanding Demands (Limerick)
Thursday, December 1st, 2011I have to laugh at Herman Cain’s audacious demand for the phone records of extra-marital affair accuser Ginger White.
I presume this is just grandstanding. Because Cain’s lawyer, Lin Wood, surely knows that he has no right to those records, except in the course of litigation discovery. In other words, no lawsuit — no phone record fishing expedition.
Cain’s Grandstanding Demands (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So did Cain break his marital vow?
He’s demanding the phone records now
Of the gal who accused him.
She ought to refuse him:
No lawsuit? No right! Disallow!
Peppery Haiku
Friday, November 25th, 2011Patrons pepper-spray
their fellow store customers.
Emulating cops?
(Yes this really happened at Wal-Mart.)
Republican Trials
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010How ironic that GOP state leaders are vowing to challenge the Affordable Health Care for America Act in court. For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious:
Republican Trials (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans constantly boo
Trial lawyers. They do it on cue.
For a party that feels
Such attorneys are heels,
The GOP sure likes to sue.
J.D. Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:
You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.
Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.
The Trump Pick Blues (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024When a Trump pick is forced to withdraw
Over sex-crimes, or some other flaw,
It seems likely, alas,
That an even worse ass
Will be named to help Trump flout the law.
Tags: Cabinet, Cabinet Nominees, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Law Humor, Law Satire, Republicans Humor, Trump, Trump's Cabinet
Posted in Donald Trump, Election 2024, Election Satire, Law Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, Trump | Comments Off on The Trump Pick Blues (Limerick)