Posts Tagged ‘J.D. Hayworth’

Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly!

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but McCain’s response to J.D. Hayworth’s primary challenge from the right is to say, “I never considered myself a maverick.” Of course, that would be a bit more convincing had McCain not, among other things, released a 2008 presidential campaign ad calling himself the “original maverick.”

That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a man named McCain,
The Republicans’ “maverick” bane.
He wore the term proudly
And touted it loudly.
But now it’s a primary pain.

So he’s claiming he never did use it,
Though we know that he’d often abuse it.
But he’s feeling the sting
Of the nutty right-wing,
So with lies he’s attempting to lose it.

J.D. Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:

You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.

Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:

Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.