Posts Tagged ‘Gun Humor’
Sunday, May 20th, 2018
Headline: “Texas shooting renews debate about American school design”
The gun-loving NRA faction
Creatively thwarts gun-law action.
Students down on all fours
Dodging death? It blames doors:
Prevent murder by entrance contraction.
Tags: Gun Bans, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Lobby, NRA, School Safety
Posted in Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Guns Don’t Kill People; Doors Kill People (Limerick)
Monday, April 30th, 2018
USA Today headline: “NRA draws fire from backers, foes for gun ban at event with Vice President Pence”
“Lots of guns make you safer in schools.”
That’s the NRA’s stance — greedy tools!
So they’d arm ev’ry teach,
But when Pence gives a speech
At their meeting — NO GUNS!!! — them’s the rules.
Tags: Gun Bans, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Lobby, Mike Pence, NRA, School Safety
Posted in Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Mike Pence, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Gun Ban Hypocrisy (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 27th, 2018
The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.
Tags: Bravery, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Education Humor, Florida, Florida Massacre, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, NRA, Parkland Florida, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Trump Bragging, Umbrella
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)
Monday, February 26th, 2018
This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”
Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!
Tags: Bravery, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Education Humor, Florida, Florida Massacre, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, NRA, Parkland Florida, Police Humor, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Trump Bragging
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2018
Dear NRA lovers and tools:
“Armed teachers protecting our schools?”
This insults the police
Who FULL-TIME keep the peace.
Sniper skills ain’t a hobby, you fools!
Tags: Cop Limerick, Cops, Crime Humor, Education Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, NRA, Police Humor, School Safety, Schools, Teachers
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Education Limerick, GOP Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To NRA TOOLS
Tuesday, August 9th, 2016
Donald Trump in the Oval Office? Imprisonment for threatening a fellow presidential candidate seems more appropriate to me.
Trump’s gun-loving supporters knew exactly what Trump meant, when he said this:
If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is, I don’t know.
Did you hear the vile message Trump sent?
To the gun owners, here’s what he meant:
If Trump’s beaten by Hill,
Then their gun rights are nil–
Something only her death can prevent.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Hillary Clinton, Second Amendment
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, June 17th, 2014
A Not-So-Modest Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Want to thin out the NRA crowd?
Here’s a concept that’s got me quite wowed:
Pair a gun range and bar,
Cuz those folks won’t get far
When gun-toting drunks are allowed.
(Alas, Combination gun ranges/bars do in fact exist.)
Tags: Alcohol, Assault Weapons, Bars, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Range, NRA, Second Amendment
Posted in Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, March 20th, 2014
Obama’s highly qualified Surgeon General nominee, Vivek Murthy, is in limbo. Why? Because Murthy supports an assault weapons ban and believes guns are a health care issue.
Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The move against Murthy ain’t stealth
Cuz gun fans are using their wealth.
Seems his Surgeon Gen. quest
Failed the NRA test:
He thinks guns can be bad for your health.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Health Humor, Law Satire, Legal Verse, NRA, Obama, Second Amendment, Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy
Posted in Barack Obama, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
Sunday, July 14th, 2013
Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.
*****
Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.
Tags: Crime & Punishment, Firearms, Florida, George Zimmerman, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Racism, Second Amendment, Stand Your Ground Law, Trayvon Martin, Trial Humor, Vigilante, Weapon Humor
Posted in Crime, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, July 8th, 2013
The Kansas legislature, in its great wisdom, recently passed a law allowing gun owners to carry weapons in public buildings. And surprise, surprise, insurance companies think this is dangerous.
The EMC Insurance Cos. insures 85 percent to 90 percent of all Kansas school districts and has refused to renew coverage for schools that permit teachers and custodians to carry concealed firearms on their campuses under the new law, which took effect July 1. It’s not a political decision, but a financial one based on the riskier climate it estimates would be created, the insurer said.
Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In municipal spots, like a school,
Concealed weapons in Kansas are cool.
But the pols that decreed this
May soon have to heed this:
They’ve entered a sky-high risk pool.
“You are too great a risk,” said the co
That insured Kansas schools. What a blow!
“We do NOT mean to screw you,
But just can’t renew you.
It’s financial — a matter of dough.”
Forrest Knox, who’s an NRA shill
And the fellow who sponsored the bill
That started this mess,
Says insurers should bless
Teachers toting their weapons at will.
“This will make us all safer,” he swears.
“What do carriers know about scares,
And dangers and risk
And hazards. Tsk-Tsk!
I know better than they!” he declares.
What’s next? It remains to be seen.
At the least, it will take far more green
To insure any school
Where an NRA tool
Hides a gun in her purse or his jean.
Tags: Custodians, Education Humor, EMC Insurance, Forrest Knox, Gun Humor, Insurance Coverage, Insurance Humor, Kansas, Legislation Humor, NRA, Risk Pool, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Weapon Humor
Posted in Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Insurance Humor, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, April 29th, 2013
Who’s paying Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe to invent and spread lies about Obama stockpiling bullets to deprive 2nd Amendment huggers of ammunition? The gun industry? The bullet industry? Both? Surely he’s not doing it solely because he’s an idiotic conspiracy theorist. Or is he?
Limerick Ode To James Inhofe
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Buy bullets before there’s none left—
All bought up by Barack — you bereft:
That’s conspiracy loon
Jim Inhofe’s new tune;
At making up lies, the guy’s deft.
Tags: Barack Obama, Conspiracy Theories, Constitution Verse, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Jim Inhofe, Oklahoma, Second Amendment
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, James Inhofe Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, April 1st, 2013
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Battering Spouses, Colorado, Domestic Abuse, Family Values, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Family Values Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
I won’t be visiting Jay Laze’s pizza place any time soon:
A Virginia Beach pizza shop owner is showing his support for firearm rights by giving gun owners a 15 percent discount.
The discount is given to anyone who brings a gun or concealed handgun permit to All Around Pizzas and Deli.
The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This news from Virginia’s alarming,
Although some may consider it charming:
Bring your gun to Jay’s shop.
Watch your pizza price drop.
I do NOT find this fellow disarming.
Tags: All Around Pizzas And Deli, Assault Weapons, Firearms, Food Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Jay Laze, National Rifle Association, NRA, Pizza Discount, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Virginia, Virginia Beach
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Virginia Humor | 6 Comments »
Friday, September 28th, 2007
I wish I were making this up but, alas, I’m not — pink guns for girls.
Firearms shops in the US are stocking pink rifles and shotguns to encourage girls to get into shooting. …
They include a Remington 20-gauge shotgun with a pink and black stock emblazoned with the slogan: “Shoot like a girl if you can!” …
“Females want to shoot guns, but they want them to look pretty, too,” he said. “Guys could give a rat’s butt what their gun looks like.”
I think it’s time to take aim at those guns with a limerick:
Not Tickled Pink About Girlish Pink Guns
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like your young daughter to shoot?
Simply buy her a shotgun that’s cute.
But be sure that it’s pink.
It’s so pretty, she’ll think.
Breeding killers—a stylish pursuit.
(You can find more of my feminist humor here, my family humor here, and my outdoor sports humor here.)
Tags: Breeding Killers, Daughters, Firearms, Firearms Shops, Girls, Gun Humor, Hunter Humor, Pink Guns, Pink Remington, Rifles, Sexist Humor, Shoot Like A Girl, Shotguns
Posted in Feminism Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Political Limericks, Social Satire | 34 Comments »
