Posts Tagged ‘GOP’

Which Veep Talks Too Much?

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Dick Cheney refuses to crawl back into his undisclosed location … and Democrats rejoice:

Which Veep Talks Too Much?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Dick, thanks for talking non-stop
And for ruining the GOP’s op
To convince normal folks
That they aren’t all jokes.
Keep ensuring their “rebrand” will flop.

They Only Have Themselves To Blame

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

On Thursday, Obama sent the filibuster-happy Republicans a message: Their zero-vote obstructionism has consequences. More specifically, Obama plans to use the budget reconciliation process to enact health care reform and student loan legislation if the GOP fails to mend its obstructionist ways.

I thought I’d celebrate Obama’s filibuster-proofing plans with a double limerick:

They Only Have Themselves To Blame
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bipartisanship had a chance.
But the GOP zero-vote stance
Was very instructive.
Their actions obstructive
Derailed any two-party dance.

They’ve clearly expressed their intent,
So as much as they scream and they vent,
We should screw the minority.
Let the majority
Govern how money is spent.

Republican Road To Remedial Math

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the House Republicans’ number-free budget. And I’m looking forward to the expanded version they’ve promised for next week — the one that won’t have any letters in it either.

Republican Road To Remedial Math (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The purported Republican budget
Has no numbers, so how can we judge it?
There’s no dollars or sense
In this PR offense.
It appears they decided to fudge it.

Email Swiped From Dick Cheney’s In-Box

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box:

Dear Dick Cheney, return to your cave.
The GOP’s health is quite grave,
And you’re making things worse.
Write a book or some verse
Till such time as you learn to behave.

Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Republicans love to attack Obama’s initiatives by claiming they’re distractions from his “fix the economy” job. Apparently, if the economy continues to tank, it’s because he wasted all that time signing an executive order opening up stem cell research.

Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Obama’s distracted. His plate
Is too full,” his detractors berate.
“His attention’s dispersed.
Put economy first.”
The problem is nothing can wait.

But Republicans don’t like his plans
And they often use indirect pans.
So research and health
Don’t relate to our wealth?
Boosting science and health — they ain’t fans.

Ode To GOP Grovelers (Song Parody)

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Who’s in charge of the GOP? Based on all the groveling and Limbaugh-tuckus-licking, it’s surely the guy with “talent on loan from God” … even though God foreclosed over a decade ago.

And that brings me to my latest song parody … with apologies to Walt Disney, the founder of my alma mater:

Ode To GOP Grovelers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Who’s the leader of the clubby, selfish GOP?
Steele or Rush?
(Newt won’t hush.)
They’re all the same to me.

Mickey mouse,
Mickey mouse.
How ever do they hold their heads up high?
High, high, high.

Each presumptive leader shares a callous policy.
Commonweal’s
Naught to Steele’s
And Limbaugh’s GOP.

UPDATE: The DCCC has a good sense of humor. You’re sure to have fun with its Republican Apology Machine.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

“The great irony of where we are today is that we had a Bush-Obama big-spending program that was bipartisan in its nature. We got big spending under Bush, now we’ve got big spending under Obama.” (Newt Gingrich as quoted by the New York Times)

Funny, but I could have sworn that Dick Cheney was Bush’s Veep.

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on.

Jindal’s GOP response last night was a gift to Democrats in terms of both style and content. (I’ll leave it to others like Buzzflash to analyze the substance of Bobby Jindal’s speech.)

Getting back to style, the similarity between Jack McBrayer’s “Kenneth the Page” character on NBC’s “30 Rock” and Jindal’s sing-song, sixth-grader-talking-to-third-graders response to Obama’s speech before Congress last night is downright weird.

And that’s why my latest limerick poses the question that everybody’s surely asking right now: Are “Kenneth the Page” and Bobby Jindal related?

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Bobby, is Kenneth your twin?
From your voices, I’d swear you were kin.
You’re the GOP’s best?
Then the GOP’s quest
For the White House is done — you can’t win.

Mad Thought Of The Day

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Are Republicans insane? Their bombastic rants and stimulus bill obstructionism could easily lead to that conclusion.

But I think there’s a more basic explanation. Republicans are simply being consistent with their long-held GOP credo:

     If at first you don’t succeed, make sure your successors don’t either.

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives:

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s election’s to blame
For irony’s death, many claim.
Is there nothing to mock?
To satirically knock?
Spoof the press and the pundits — I’m game.

And there’s always the cowardly Dems,
And obstreperous GOP “gems,”
Greedy banks, AIG,
CEOs, bad TV.
Start lampooning — no haws and no hems.

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response.  But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”