Posts Tagged ‘GOP Humor’

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

The aptly-initialed Paul Ryan pulled quite the PR stunt last week. Did you catch the video of Ryan’s uninvited Ohio soup kitchen visit, and watch him “scrub” an already clean pot?

The head of a northeast Ohio charity says that the Romney campaign last week “ramrodded their way” into the group’s Youngstown soup kitchen so that GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan could get his picture taken washing dishes in the dining hall.

“We’re a faith-based organization; we are apolitical because the majority of our funding is from private donations,” Antal said in a phone interview Monday afternoon. “It’s strictly in our bylaws not to do it. They showed up there, and they did not have permission. They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors.”

He added: “The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan expects us to cheer:
He’s a soup kitchen fake volunteer!
Watch him scrub a clean pot
In his sham, cooked up spot,
As he schemes to make OUR lives austere.

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Republicans are feigning horror at the Ted Kennedy tribute video played at the Democratic National Convention. It seems using Teddy v. Mitt debate footage that makes Romney look pathetic, somehow dishonors the deceased Ted Kennedy. Yeah … right.

Here’s RNC Chairman Reince Priebus on Twitter: “Classless Dems use tribute video of deceased Ted Kennedy to attack Mitt Romney.”

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reince Priebus, Republican knave,
Disapproves of how Dem pols behave:
They showed Ted debate Mitt!!!
Angry tweet — what a twit!
Just St. Reagan can speak from the grave.

Open Limerick To Chief Justice John Roberts

Monday, July 2nd, 2012

Open Limerick To Chief Justice John Roberts
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Justice Roberts, your allies are mean,
And their attitude’s often obscene.
When they hate one decision,
Their answer’s derision:
Your meds fried your brain. No more sheen!

With people like that in your camp,
Perhaps it is time to revamp
Your views and opinions.
Dump low-lives as minions.
Convert! Be a working man’s champ.

GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)

Friday, June 29th, 2012

Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!

Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.

GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?

Limerick Ode To Republican Schadenfreude

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Limerick Ode To Republican Schadenfreude
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch Republicans feign being sad
When employment news comes, and it’s bad.
How they try not to grin—
They’re more likely to win!
If you vote GOP, you’ve been had.

The GOP Pitch (Limerick)

Monday, April 30th, 2012

The GOP Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans made a huge mess.
Dems’ fixes they’ve tried to suppress.
Yet Republicans crow:
“The recovery’s slow.
Dump Obama. We’ve earned that address.”

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This undoubtedly sounds naive, but I keep expecting the GOP to disavow Florida Rep. Allen West’s insane lies. (The guy makes your average Birther look nearly normal.) But so far, it hasn’t happened.

West’s claim that up to 80 U.S. Congressional Democrats are Communists is merely the latest example of West’s nutcase rantings. And my search for evidence that Republicans are repudiating his pernicious nonsense yielded nothing but an angry complaint and denial from Libero Della Piana, a vice-chairman of the Communist Party USA.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Rep. Allen West
Invents scandalous falsehoods with zest.
His mad claims don’t compute,
Yet his party stays mute —
His lies thus implicitly blessed.

Limerick Ode To “Cheerful” Newt Gingrich

Saturday, February 25th, 2012

Limerick Ode To “Cheerful” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I confess I became rather tearful
At Newt’s self-description as “cheerful.”
These were not tears of sadness,
But rather of gladness:
Cuz the “Newt Show” ain’t done. (I’d been fearful.)

The Chastity Chase (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

When I see a title like this, I pretty much have to write a limerick: Santorum Good for Chastity-Belt Sales? Manufacturer Says, “We’ve Had a Boost”

The Chastity Chase (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s good news for Republican men:
You can guard against gals with a yen
For sex you deem evil
With something primeval:
Yes chastity belts — Curb your hen!

Republicans’ Bush-League Fantasy (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

Many GOP leaders are understandably upset by the remaining quartet of presidential aspirants. Their solution? A brokered convention featuring the brother of “He Who Can Not Be Mentioned.” Yes, Jeb Bush, as Republican Savior.

Republicans’ Bush-League Fantasy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans weave quite the web
Of fantasy — Florida’s Jeb:
They’d replace their prez roster
With Bush, who will foster
A fix for the GOP ebb.

Clint Eastwood Ad Flap Madness (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

Poor Karl Rove! His delicate sensibilities were offended by Clint Eastwood’s uplifting auto industry Super Bowl ad:

Over stirring French horns and stark photos of Detroit workers, the ad used the auto industry’s rebirth from bankruptcy as a symbol of American renewal and determination. But it contained some shocking language for those, like Mr. Rove, who are easily bruised:

“Detroit is showing us it can be done and what’s true about them is true about all of us. This country can’t be knocked out with one punch. We get right back up again and when we do the world’s going to hear the roar of our engines. Yeah.”

And Rove is just one among many Republicans expressing outrage over the ad narrated by Eastwood, a loyal Republican who says the ad has nothing to do with politics.

Clint Eastwood Ad Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems Eastwood committed a sin:
His truth-telling ad brought chagrin
To the GOP crowd —
Words of hope said out loud
Are a threat — they might help our Prez win.

Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

In the wake of Mitt Romney’s misplaced $10,000 bet, the “Intrade political futures market shows Mitt Romney’s chances of winning the GOP presidential nomination dropping to 40% today, while Newt Gingrich’s chances have surged to 37%.”

Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt’s ten-thousand dollar faux pas
Makes Republican voters say, “Bah!”
So betting is strong
That Romney’s gone wrong,
And that Newt will get voters’ “Hurrah!”

Gunning for Gingrich (Limerick)

Saturday, December 10th, 2011

Tonight’s Drake University, Iowa Republican Presidential Debate, hosted by ABC News and moderated by Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopoulos, looks to be pivotal:

Gunning For Gingrich (Limerick)

They’re gunning for Gingrich tonight.
Opponents are poised for a fight.
The GOP’s freaking:
No more are they seeking
Non-Romney, with Newt as their plight.

Limerick Ode To the GOP

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Wow! President Obama is a closet limerick writer! Check out this poem “rescued” from the Oval Office trash:

Limerick Ode To the GOP By Barack Obama
“Rescued” By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, thanks for your slate
Of possible pols to debate.
I’ve been worried as hell.
Now you’ve made my hopes swell,
Cuz my years here may well grow to eight.

Pressing The Press On Voter Suppression (Limerick)

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Steve Benen has written an excellent post about the underreported voter suppression scandal:

Under the auspices of rooting out “voter fraud” — a problem that appears to exist largely in the over-active imaginations of GOP activists — Republicans are passing voter-ID measures, closing windows for early voting, and approving new laws restricting voter-registration drives, all targeting specific kinds of voters who happen to be traditional Democratic supporters.

And the Brennan Center For Justice has produced a frightening study of these “radical” voting law changes.

Now if only the media would take some time out from its hefty will-he-or-won’t-he Christie coverage, to report on this important issue.

Pressing The Press On Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP war on our voting
Is a problem the press isn’t noting.
Unfair laws will suppress
Dem votes with finesse,
The Republican prospects promoting.

The Crass Chris Christie Craze (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

The Republican powers-that-be never liked Mitt Romney. And they’re beginning to panic over Rick Perry’s abysmal debate performances. So they’re back to wooing the obnoxious New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, despite his lengthy list of flaws:

The Crass Chris Christie Craze (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some powerful GOP men
Are wooing Chris Christie again.
So why do these guys
Think a Chris-run is wise?
They’ve contracted a nasty-man yen.

Political Haiku Trio

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

As pandering pols
romance the Tea Partiers,
they imbibe madness.

*****

Tea Party blood lust:
Leave uninsured man to die —
GOP scares me.

*****

Republican pols
cater to greedy donors—
putting people last.

*****

(For more haiku, check out Sensational Haiku Wednesday.)

Paul Ryan, Educator???

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

The debt ceiling absolutely, positively must be raised to avoid a fiscal meltdown, and the Republican leadership knows it. But they’re saddled with a bunch of ignorant, “Tea Party” Congress-critters whose votes they desperately need.

Ironically, the job of educating them about debt ceiling realities has fallen to Paul Ryan, the Prince of Budget Misinformation.

Here’s what I’m wondering: The “Tea Party” nuts bought Paul Ryan’s lies. Will they believe him when he speaks the truth?

Paul Ryan, Educator???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the GOP leadership’s tryin’
To get Tea Party votes, they ain’t buyin’,
Cuz they’re itchin’ to spike
Any debt ceiling hike.
Now the burden to school them’s on Ryan.

Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign

Monday, June 27th, 2011

I’m looking forward to following Michele Bachmann’s just launched presidential campaign:

Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Michele Bachmann announced she’s in play,
And I welcome Michele to the fray:
Her positions bizarre
Will most certainly mar
The GOP’s comeback foray.

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

I love Mat Miller’s new definition of chutzpah:

Republicans who vote for the Ryan plan that adds trillions in debt and who then say the debt limit goes up only over their dead bodies!

That brings me to my latest Limerick:

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP debt-ceiling balkers
Are naught but hypocrisy hawkers.
Their plan adds eight trillion
(Not million or billion)
To the debt in a decade — Big Talkers!