Donald Trump made an error he rues:
Using age as a way to abuse
And disparage Joe Biden.
Now folks are deridin’
Poor Don-OLD as old. Hence his blues!
Posts Tagged ‘GOP Humor’
Just Deserts For Donald Trump (Limerick)
Saturday, July 27th, 2024Matt Gaetz v. Speaker McCarthy
Monday, October 2nd, 2023The long-looming motion by Gaetz,
Meant to toss out the Speaker he hates,
Has fin’lly been filed.
So McCarthy is riled
And heated arm-twisting awaits.
Stop The TEASE!
Thursday, March 23rd, 2023Is anyone else feeling teased
By Trumpian news? I’m displeased!
Yes, there’s LOTS of excitement,
But where’s the indictment?
No perp walk? No plea? Not appeased!
Wake Up and Be Woke! (Limerick)
Sunday, February 19th, 2023Republican pols love to cloak
Their meanness by calling things “woke.”
Well if showing awareness
Of blatant unfairness
Is “woke,” we should ALL be woke folk.
More McCarthy Mockery
Thursday, January 5th, 2023According to WP’s Robert Costa, Matt Gaetz says McCarthy must either “withdraw from the race,” or commit to a “straitjacket” agreement.
Come to think of it, straitjackets sound like a great idea for most of the House Republicans!
*****
As self-centered loons
impede race to be Speaker,
insanity reigns.
*****
This haiku, I swear,
is my last McCarthy verse
until tomorrow.
*****
Way too many pols
in Republican Party
naught but Pied Pipers.
*****
“Concession-Kevin”
becomes just-pretend Speaker.
Pyrrhic victory.
*****
Loony Lindell (Limerick)
Friday, November 25th, 2022A headline like this one cries out for a limerick: “Mike Lindell Weighing Run Against GOP’s Ronna McDaniel ‘If God Willing'”
Mike Lindell is consid’ring a run
For RNC Chair. Oh what fun!
He’s a “pillow tycoon”
And conspiracy loon,
Whose motto’s “Republicans won!!!”
The Trump Cult (Limerick)
Monday, August 24th, 2020“In lieu of a party platform, Republicans express ‘strong support’ of Trump.”
The GOP seems to exult
In becoming the Donald Trump Cult.
No platform this year —
Just a Donald Trump cheer;
Lots of toadies, but not one adult!
Devilish Deal (Limerick)
Saturday, February 1st, 2020Trump’s impeachment’s erased any doubt
That the GOP’s ceded its clout
And sold off its soul
To that scurrilous troll
In the Oval; it’s owned by that lout.
Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018
Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Stocks are fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
*************
(ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS)
Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Mueller’s fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.
The Worst Excuse Yet For Gun Violence (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2018Headline: “GOP Lawmaker Blames Porn for School Shootings”
What’s to blame for school shootings? It’s “porn.”
So says Tennessee’s Black, with much scorn
For the Dems who’d curb guns.
Lame excuse? Rs have tons;
GOP — where insanity’s born.
Greed Trumps All (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2017Headline: “Donald Trump And GOP Leaders Could Be Enriched By Last Minute Tax Break Inserted Into Final Bill”
Corker’s tax “reform” “yes”-vote’s a blow!
So why did he switch it from “no?”
Mega real estate owners
(Like Corker) got boners
From a tax break that’s worth mega dough.
The Great Tax “Reform” Con (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2017The tax “reform” process was stealthy,
And its impact’s acutely unhealthy.
The damage is clear;
We’ll lose ALL we hold dear,
As the rich become even more wealthy.
Limericks and Sundry Humor (September 2017)
Thursday, September 14th, 2017Dear Donald, I wish you’d vamoose
It ain’t safe in DC with you loose.
The whole nation, in fact,
Would at last be less racked,
If you’d simply become a recluse.
*****
The Donald is starting to backtrack
In response to fierce tweets from the whack-track
That their love for him’s gone
Cuz he’s “Amnesty Don.”
DACA deal with the Dems? Cue sad sack-track.
*****
The media’s only too glad
To opine that Trump’s pivoting. Sad!
Though he turns on a dime,
Those ain’t pivots; Each time
It’s a sign he’s insane. The guy’s MAD!
*****
CNN Headline of the Day: “Trump has nominated 42 people for US attorney. Only one is a woman”
No doubt Ivanka is VERY disappointed.
*****
Devastating Hurricane: “WRONG Time To Mention Climate Change!”
Mass Shooting: “WRONG Time To Mention Gun Control!”
Anyone detect a pattern here?
*****
Headline of the Day: “Upbeat Trump raves to Schumer, Pelosi about news coverage of their deal”
Donald loves to be praised in the press,
Which is rare, cuz his reign is a mess.
But the deal he just made
With the Democrats paid
Off in cov’rage that’s easing his stress.
Seems the same can’t be said for old Mitch
And Paul Ryan. (Betrayal’s a bitch!)
With high hopes for some wins,
They put up with Trump’s sins.
Their reward? They’ve been dumped in a ditch.
******
Press Query: What will you do about X?
Trump: We’ll see.
Child’s Query: Can I do X? Can I? Can I?
Parent: We’ll see.
*****
Trump has a long history of taking undeserved credit for donations. Will Hurricane Harvey be yet another example?
Do not rush to give Trump an ovation
For his one million dollar “donation”
To victims of Harvey;
Though pledges are marvy,
Please buck promise and payment conflation.
******
Trump proclaimed he’d treat Dreamers “with heart,”
But his vow was a lie from the start.
Dumping DACA, he’s dashed
All their dreams; hope’s been smashed
By a bigot who’s slashed us apart.
*****
This probably sounds cynical, given Trump’s obvious instability.
But despite Donald’s mental unfitness, I don’t believe the powers that be will ever use the 25th Amendment to remove him from the presidency.
Hence my limerick rant:
Has the Donald succumbed to a funk?
Is his psyche okay? Oh what bunk!
Why fret NOW? It’s too LATE!
Foolish votes sealed our fate.
That ship’s sailed and, alas, we are sunk.
*****
Is anyone else sick of stories claiming that Ivanka and Jared tried really, really hard to get Trump to do the right thing?
Poor Ivanka and Jared are sad,
Once again disappointed by dad
After trying sooooo hard.
If you buy this canard,
You’re as blind as daft Donald is mad.
*****
Two-Verse Limerick:
Have you read Donald’s tweet-rants today,
Aimed at partners of DPRK?
They clearly were meant
To scare China. Trump’s vent
Was a threat to stop trade. Foolish bray!
Even Donald would rather not crash
Our economy. That would be rash.
So his threat to stop trade
With China charade
Is naught but nonsensical trash.
*****
Trump to Pence: I saw photos of you in Houston, hugging Harvey victims and clearing debris.
Pence: Just doing my part, Mr. President.
Trump: Stop trying to make me look bad!
*****
Dearest Trump fans, condemning Obama
For Katrina, with Sturm, Drang, and drama,
Is a waste of Snopes’ time.
Dopey gripes are a crime.
Did he also cause Black Tuesday trauma?
*****
Dear Donald, I hope you’re aware
That you’re poor at pretending to care.
Though some suckers still buy
Ev’ry pretense and lie,
Being selfish is all that you share.
*****
Trump: “Harvey. It sounds like such an innocent name, but isn’t.”
Me: Donald. It sounds like such an innocent name, but isn’t.
*****
Trump on the Hurricane Harvey recovery: “We want to do it better than ever before. We want to be looked at in five years or 10 years from now as this is the way to do it.”
I, for one, am looking forward to all the congratulatory phone calls Trump will be inventing.
*****
Pro-brutality, favors rascality,
Can’t accept or contend with reality,
Badly raised, must be praised,
His mentality’s crazed;
Trump’s normality — national malady.
*****
FEMA Adviser: The Dallas Convention Center will house 5000 Harvey refugees.
TRUMP: Unacceptable! I’ve banned ALL refugees!
*****
Journalist: During the campaign, you claimed to have no dealings with Russia.
Trump: That’s right, and I didn’t!
Journalist: Then how do you explain your Moscow Trump Tower “letter of intent?”
Trump: I INTENDED to have dealings. Bigly different!
*****
“Repeal & Replace,” A 4-Verse Limerick Saga
Friday, March 24th, 2017Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”
Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.
They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.
But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.
A Lackluster C-Lister Inauguration? (Limerick)
Thursday, December 15th, 2016Poor Donald! The best entertainers
Were ardent pro-Clinton campaigners,
Who do NOT want to sing
At Trump’s wingding; They cling
To their stance as Inaug’ral abstainers.
An End To The “Pivot” Spin? (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 16th, 2016Donald’s message: “I don’t want to pivot.”
Such a statement is certain to rivet
The Republican leaders–
Those desperate pleaders–
Will they somehow survive and out-live it?
Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)
Monday, April 25th, 2016Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.
Trump’s Team: “Plane” Incompetent (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 19th, 2016Prez Trump will be great! You know why?
His reason’s a bit hard to buy:
He will bring a “great team!”
Yet his team it would seem
Can not keep his plane reg’stered to fly.
Limerick Ode To George Santos
Wednesday, March 1st, 2023Most constituents sigh, whine, and grouse
About Santos, a villainous louse.
He’s a con-artist worm
Who should serve a long term
In a JAILHOUSE and NOT in the House.
Tags: Crime, Election Humor, Election Satire, George Santos, GOP Humor, GOP Lies, Republican Lies, Republicans Humor, Voters
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