Posts Tagged ‘Florida’

Florida’s CRT Cops Strike Again (Limerick)

Sunday, April 17th, 2022

Headline: “Florida says it rejected math textbooks for referring to critical race theory”

Frenzied Florida’s CRT-craze
Is now targeting math books. This phase
Features conjured up claims
Of doctrinaire aims;
Textbooks banned in a bigoted blaze.

Limerick Ode To Governor Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis

Saturday, March 12th, 2022

gay GAY gay gay GAY gay gay GAY,
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gay GAY gay gay GAY,
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Gov. DeSantis’s Reign Is A Killer (Limerick)

Thursday, August 12th, 2021

Headline: “DeSantis rakes in cash as Florida’s Covid wars rage”

Gov. DeSantis is raking in bread,
While his rules boost the number of dead.
His “pro-freedom” brand
Brings in cash, so he’s banned
Ev’ry mandate that slows Covid’s spread.

Malaise At Mar-a-Lago? (Limerick)

Sunday, March 21st, 2021

Mar-a-Lago is partially closed,
Due to Covid. No shock: Trump’s opposed
To the wearing of masks;
In rebellion, he basks.
The result? His club’s rep has been hosed.

Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.

Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)

Monday, February 26th, 2018

This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”

Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!

Conspiracy Theorists Are Up In Arms (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 21st, 2018

“The high school survivors are actors,”
Claim the gun-demonstration detractors.
“And they’re liberal plants
Coached by dads, mothers, aunts.” —
Anti-gun-control’s prime malefactors.

Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida

Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.

*****

Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.

Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.

I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.

But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:

“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”

Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”

“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gave a speech today at the Brookings Institution. His appearance featured this amusing gaffe:

“I left my last page of the speech, does anyone have my last page? Did I Ieave it with you?”

Now such a slip-up wouldn’t ordinarily be limerick-worthy. However, Rubio seems to have a “glass house” problem:

Rubio calls President Obama “the most articulate and talented teleprompter reader in America,” a line that drew big laughter and applause in East Manatee.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How ironic that Rubio’s known
To have thrown a speech-mockery stone
At Barack. It’s self-bruising
And rather amusing
When Rubio screws up his own.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This undoubtedly sounds naive, but I keep expecting the GOP to disavow Florida Rep. Allen West’s insane lies. (The guy makes your average Birther look nearly normal.) But so far, it hasn’t happened.

West’s claim that up to 80 U.S. Congressional Democrats are Communists is merely the latest example of West’s nutcase rantings. And my search for evidence that Republicans are repudiating his pernicious nonsense yielded nothing but an angry complaint and denial from Libero Della Piana, a vice-chairman of the Communist Party USA.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Rep. Allen West
Invents scandalous falsehoods with zest.
His mad claims don’t compute,
Yet his party stays mute —
His lies thus implicitly blessed.

Republicans’ Bush-League Fantasy (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

Many GOP leaders are understandably upset by the remaining quartet of presidential aspirants. Their solution? A brokered convention featuring the brother of “He Who Can Not Be Mentioned.” Yes, Jeb Bush, as Republican Savior.

Republicans’ Bush-League Fantasy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans weave quite the web
Of fantasy — Florida’s Jeb:
They’d replace their prez roster
With Bush, who will foster
A fix for the GOP ebb.

Limerick Ode To Newt’s Latest Temper Tantrum

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

Newt Gingrich seemed way off his game at last night’s Florida debate. And at first, I attributed this to Mitt Romney’s new, improved debating style.

But Newt apparently needs the adrenalin rush that comes with cheers and applause. And last night’s NBC debate rules precluded such a rush: Audience feedback was limited, in the interest of using the time for actual debating.

So now Newt (always on the outlook for another excuse to bash the media) is petulantly threatening to boycott any debate that limits the audience’s free speech:

Mr. Gingrich’s performance in the debate in Tampa on Monday night was far more muted. Critics noted that he seemed to be off his game. The National Journal, which co-hosted the NBC debate, compared Gingrich to “a stand-up comedian whose routine suffers without echoes of laughter egging him on.”

Mr. Gingrich clearly noticed something was off, too. “We’re going to serve notice on future debates,” he told Fox. “We’re just not going to allow that to happen. That’s wrong. The media doesn’t control free speech. People ought to be allowed to applaud if they want to.”

Hmmm…., I wonder how Newt feels about boos.

Limerick Ode To Newt’s Latest Temper Tantrum
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No cheering at last night’s debate!
This has Gingrich quite peeved and irate.
He says cheers from the crowd
Simply must be allowed.
Without cheers, will Newt Gingrich deflate?

Limerick Ode To Republican Panic

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Newt Gingrich demolished Mitt in South Carolina. Newt’s surging in Florida. And Romney’s large national lead is collapsing. Needless to say, the Republican establishment is starting to panic:

To the extent Newt threatens the Establishment, it’s because of his electability–or lack thereof. The GOP’s mandarins see Gingrich’s nomination as a sure way to blow their chance of deposing Barack Obama. They see Gingrich as the political equivalent of a Fukushima nuclear plant worker, with polls showing him to be lethally irradiated by his negative approval ratings. Whereas Mitt Romney is running about even with Barack Obama in head-to-head polling, Newt loses by double-digit margins. Sure, those numbers could change if Gingrich beats Romney and wins the nomination, with all the accolades it entails. On the other hand, his grandiosity syndrome may kick in, as it has before, and render him a laughing stock. Hence the many Establishment Republicans now saying things like, “Newt means losing 45 states.”

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Limerick Ode To Republican Panic
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican powers-that-be
Are scared of a Newt-nominee:
Newt’s grandiose ways
Could trigger malaise,
As voters to Democrats flee.