Posts Tagged ‘Election Satire’

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

Guess who’ll save the middle class and crack down on millionaires: In the upside-down world of political advertising, it’s Mitt Romney.

Yes, that’s the message of Romney’s latest ad, which depicts Obama as a liberal scourge of the middle class who (judging from the pictures) is in love with Nancy Pelosi.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is on the attack
With the L-word. Yes, “Lib’ral!” is back.
Here’s the shocking j’accuse:
Lib Obama should lose
Cuz, like Nance, he’ll the middle class whack.

Mitt’s Debate Challenge (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

So, is everyone looking forward to Romney’s zingers tomorrow night?

Mitt’s Debate Challenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mitt, it just isn’t enough
To zing and critique and act tough.
Want to gain voter-ardor?
Your job is much harder:
Prove you’re better and have the “right stuff.”

Courting Votes (Limerick)

Monday, October 1st, 2012

Today is the First Monday in October, which means the U.S. Supreme Court is back in session. A court, I might add, that’s packed with aging Justices, who could very well retire in the next four years.

Courting Votes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Supreme Court is back in DC—
A reminder that voting is key.
Just imagine the blight:
A court swing further right—
Forty-seven percenter debris.

UPDATE: In a Facebook discussion of my limerick, someone suggested that smoking weed might improve the Justices’ ability to render good decisions. So naturally, I had to write this:

The Justices need to be stoned —
Not with rocks, of course. Cannabis-zoned.
They’d make better decisions
And fewer provisions
Wherein stare decisis is boned.

Limerick Ode To Ill-Tempered Romney

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

According to the New York Times, Mitt Romney is memorizing debate “zingers” which, he hopes, will goad Obama into churlishness or smugness.

Mitt’s also practicing “composure,” which strikes me as a good idea, in light of Romney’s apparent anger management problem. On the other hand, perhaps Romney is just a spoiled-brat CEO, who can’t quite break his corporate temper-tantrum habit.

In any event, I’m looking forward to Romney losing his cool at this Wednesday’s presidential debate.

Limerick Ode To Ill-Tempered Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Does Romney have trouble with rage,
If a questioner’s not on his page?
When he’s challenged, his voice
Gets an edge that ain’t choice.
This should kill on the prez debate stage.

Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

As a political satirist myself, I was very amused by the brouhaha over Roger Simon’s recent satirical column. I’m referring to his amusing Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench” piece that several journalists mistook for straight reporting. As Rick Perry would say, “Oops!”

Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some beliefs are a challenge to quench,
Like “Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench.”
A satirical column
Was taken as solemn.
Simon’s mischief made journalists blench.

Dear Dems, Don’t Get Cocky!

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

Open Limerick To Obama Supporters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Dems, while the polls look ideal,
I’m not certain the polling is real.
Dem wins are still hard,
So don’t let down your guard.
And make sure it ain’t too close to steal.

(Linked at We Write Poems.)

Limerick Ode To Magical Mitt Romney

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

I like the way Paul Krugman sizes up Mitt Romney’s “plan” for our economy:

As many people have noticed, Mr. Romney’s five-point “economic plan” is very nearly substance-free. It vaguely suggests that he will pursue the same goals Republicans always pursue — weaker environmental protection, lower taxes on the wealthy. But it offers neither specifics nor any indication why returning to George W. Bush’s policies would cure a slump that began on Mr. Bush’s watch.

In his Boca Raton meeting with donors, however, Mr. Romney revealed his real plan, which is to rely on magic. “My own view is,” he declared, “if we win on November 6, there will be a great deal of optimism about the future of this country. We’ll see capital come back, and we’ll see — without actually doing anything — we’ll actually get a boost in the economy.”

Limerick Ode To Magical Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul has slashed Romney’s plan down to size:
The mere fact of Mitt’s win would give rise
To a positive feeling
And thus, fiscal healing.
Vote for Mitt — get a magic surprise.

Romney Unleashed (Limerick)

Friday, September 14th, 2012

Romney Unleashed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt the “robot” is suddenly hot,
Unpredictably stirring the pot.
Once disturbingly guarded,
Now caution’s discarded.
I’m starting to miss the old “bot.”

Limerick Ode To Smirking Romney

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

Mitt Romney’s weird facial expressions during yesterday’s press conference about the killings at the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, inspired me to write this limerick:

Limerick Ode To Smirking Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Can a person be judged by his smile?
I’d say yes, when it hints at his bile.
If like Mitt’s, it’s a smirk,
Then a creep may well lurk
Underneath, one whose essence is vile.

Foolhardy Romney Strikes Again (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

Mitt Romney really stepped in it this time:

Mitt Romney’s sharply-worded attack on President Obama over a pair of deadly riots in Muslim countries last night has backfired badly among foreign policy hands of both parties, who cast it as hasty and off-key, released before the facts were clear at what has become a moment of tragedy.

Foolhardy Romney Strikes Again (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In his quest for political gain,
Romney rushes to judgment, it’s plain:
Lashing out before learning
The facts, he risks burning
Our nation with statements insane.

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Republicans are feigning horror at the Ted Kennedy tribute video played at the Democratic National Convention. It seems using Teddy v. Mitt debate footage that makes Romney look pathetic, somehow dishonors the deceased Ted Kennedy. Yeah … right.

Here’s RNC Chairman Reince Priebus on Twitter: “Classless Dems use tribute video of deceased Ted Kennedy to attack Mitt Romney.”

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reince Priebus, Republican knave,
Disapproves of how Dem pols behave:
They showed Ted debate Mitt!!!
Angry tweet — what a twit!
Just St. Reagan can speak from the grave.

Yes We Are! (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

If you aren’t sure whether we’re better off now than we were four years ago, check out these headlines from September 2008.

Yes We Are! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are we better off now? Yes we are!
To suggest that we’re not is bizarre.
Prez Barack turned the tide,
Though Republicans tried
To ensure things remain way sub-par.

A Morsel To Chew On (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

What genius decided that talking about Romney’s weird eating habits would make him sound more human?

I’ll grant you that robots probably don’t eat muffins. However, a normal human being doesn’t eat just the muffin top and cast aside the rest.

A Morsel To Chew On (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In an effort to boost Mitt’s appeal,
Just what does he choose to reveal:
He likes muffin tops best
And he tosses the rest.
“Vote for Mitt — He wastes food.” What a spiel!

Rising Oceans Aren’t Risible (Limerick)

Sunday, September 2nd, 2012

That Romney sure has quite the sense of humor. Here’s an example of his convention speech wit:

“President Obama promised to begin to slow the rise of the oceans and to heal the planet. My promise is to help you and your family.”

Rising Oceans Aren’t Risible (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The sea level’s rising, but Mitt
Treats that danger as grist for his wit:
Mocks a serious threat
With a joke that’s all wet—
A GOP cheer-swelling hit.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Birther” Romney

Saturday, August 25th, 2012

The Birther crowd surely loved this alleged joke from Mitt Romney:

Mitt Romney descended into birther politics today, when he joked during a campaign stop that “No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate.”

“I love being home, where the both of us were born,” Romney said at a rally in his native Michigan. “Ann was born in Henry Ford Hospital. I was born in Harper Hospital.”

“No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate,” he continued. “They know this is the place where we were born and raised!”

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Birther” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No one ever has questioned my birth,
Brags Mitt Romney, with make-believe mirth.
His “joke” was a hit.
Stay classy, dear Mitt.
Boost the Birthers. It shows your true worth.

Limerick Ode To Smear-Meister Mitt Romney

Monday, August 20th, 2012

Your average politician, when caught and called on a blatant lie, will stop repeating it. But not Mitt Romney.

Mitt’s welfare-related smear, claiming Obama has ended welfare’s work mandates is indisputably false, having been famously debunked three weeks ago. And yet Romney still won’t stop repeating it in speeches and using it in fresh ads.

Limerick Ode To Smear-Meister Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

For Romney, the truth holds no sway,
As his lies mount up day after day.
Welfare, health care and tax—
With the facts he is lax,
Treating voters like ignorant prey.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)

Friday, August 17th, 2012

In one fell swoop, Paul Ryan’s been caught in a web of hypocrisy and lies over Obama’s stimulus package:

After repeated denials, Paul Ryan has admitted he requested stimulus cash even after sharply criticizing the program.

Ryan had denied doing so as recently as Wednesday, when he spoke to ABC’s Cincinnati affiliate, WCPO, in Ohio.

“I never asked for stimulus,” Mitt Romney’s new running mate said. “I don’t recall… so I really can’t comment on it. I opposed the stimulus because it doesn’t work, it didn’t work.”

Two years ago, during an interview on WBZ’s NewsRadio he was asked by a caller if he “accepted any money” into his district. Ryan said he did not.

“I’m not one [of those] people who votes for something then writes to the government to ask them to send us money. I did not request any stimulus money,” the congressman answered.

But as we’ve now learned, Ryan did write letters. He did request stimulus funds.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan’s been caught in a lie
And hypocrisy too — what a guy!
To the stim he said, “No!”
Yet he asked for stim dough,
Then denied that he did it. Pork pie!

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans love to submit:
“Ryan’s plan will reduce your tax hit.”
Though I’d like to deny
It I can’t, and here’s why:
It is true, if you’re wealthy like Mitt.

Limerick Ode To Romney Hood

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

President Obama has aptly named Mitt Romney “Romney Hood,” inspired by “a recent report from the non-partisan Tax Policy Institute that claims Romney’s tax proposals are likely to result in a net tax increase of $2,000 for middle-class wage earners while cutting hundreds of thousands of dollars from the tax bills of the country’s most wealthy.”

Limerick Ode To Romney Hood
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s an outlaw in town, Romney Hood,
Who’d become U.S. Prez, if he could.
He targets the poor—
Would the middle class gore.
His election plans must be withstood.

Mitt Romney Dances Away From Dressage (Limerick)

Saturday, July 28th, 2012

In a healthy marriage, spouses share each other’s joys and take pride in one another’s accomplishments. For instance, imagine a married woman whose horse makes it all the way to the Olympics. If her marriage is a good one, you’d expect her to watch and root along with her spouse.

Alas, Ann Romney won’t be experiencing such loving togetherness. Why not? Because Mitt has made his indifference quite clear, presumably for political reasons: Dressage is Ann’s thing, and he doesn’t plan to watch it.

“I have to tell you, this is Ann’s sport,” he said. “I’m not even sure which day the sport goes on. She will get the chance to see it, I will not be watching the event…”

Mitt Romney Dances Away From Dressage (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ann’s horse in Olympic contention
Has been causing Mitt’s camp apprehension:
He won’t watch it compete.
What a strange way to treat
His fine wife. Should she skip his convention?