Donald Trump, Pied Piper Of Pols (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In The Donald’s fantastical tune,
He’s the hero – the movie’s “High Noon.”
He’ll end gangs, build a wall
That’s a zillion feet tall;
With a wand wave, all enemies swoon.
Donald Trump, Pied Piper Of Pols (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In The Donald’s fantastical tune,
He’s the hero – the movie’s “High Noon.”
He’ll end gangs, build a wall
That’s a zillion feet tall;
With a wand wave, all enemies swoon.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Republican Primary
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Donald Trump, Pied Piper Of Pols (Limerick)
Political haiku for a change of pace:
Hurricane’s over,
but the political storm
is never-ending.
(More storm haiku here.)
Tags: American Politics Haiku, Budget Cuts, Congress Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Cliff, Negotiations, Political Battles, Political Haiku & Senryu, Washington Politicians
Posted in Fiscal Policy, Legislation Humor, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Washington | 9 Comments »
Congratulations to Dictionary.com for its excellent 2012 Word of the Year selection — Bluster. (Needless to say, its luster inspired a limerick.)
2012 saw the most expensive political campaigns and some of the most extreme weather events in human history, from floods in Australia to cyclones in China to Hurricane Sandy and many others. Man-made disasters spiraled as the European Central Bank continued to hem and haw over bailouts and austerity, and Greeks went to the polls after years of uncertainty. Even after many spilled words, the stability of the Euro fuels debate around the world. So what one word conveys these dominant trends of 2012? Bluster.
Limerick Bluster
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The wordies have managed to muster
An apt word for the year: It is “Bluster.”
Windy pols and big storms
Are Two-Thousand-Twelve norms—
Not to mention a big budget buster.
Tags: Bluster, Campaign Humor, Dictionary.com, Election 2012, Election Satire, Extreme Weather, Global Warming, Hurricane Sandy, Political Campaigns, Politicians Limerick, Weather Humor, Word Of The Year
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Faux Controversies, Global Warming, Partisanship Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Weather Satire | 2 Comments »
I know that I shouldn’t indulge in Schadenfreude, but I can’t help myself: Watching the Republican rats desert Mitt Romney’s sinking ship is immensely entertaining! And in my defense, Gail Collins seems to be enjoying it too.
Mitt Romney’s Sunken Ship Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney is now on the outs.
Having lost in a rout, Romney pouts,
Making whiny remarks,
Giving GOP sharks
An excuse for disownership shouts.
Tags: Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal, Election Satire, Gail Collins, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Election, Republicans Humor, Schadenfreude
Posted in Barack Obama, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 6 Comments »
Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney doesn’t use the word “bribes” in rationalizing his loss to his donors, but he sure comes mighty close:
A week after losing the election to President Obama, Mitt Romney blamed his overwhelming electoral loss on what he said were big “gifts” that the president had bestowed on loyal Democratic constituencies, including young voters, African-Americans and Hispanics.
In a conference call on Wednesday afternoon with his national finance committee, Mr. Romney said that the president had followed the “old playbook” of wooing specific interest groups — “especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people,” Mr. Romney explained — with targeted gifts and initiatives.
If I understand Romney correctly, winning votes because of policies that benefit the middle class, minorities, and the poor is bad. But winning votes and tons of donor cash because of policies that will make rich people even richer is just fine and dandy. So glad we cleared that up.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney is sore-loser cross,
Blaming targeted “gifts” for his loss.
Mitt in essence describes
Good programs as bribes
To Blacks, Youths, Hispanics. What dross!
Tags: African-Americans, Barack Obama, Black People, Blame Game, Election 2012, Election Satire, Hispanics, Joe Biden, Minorities, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Policy Humor, Presidential Election, Republican Donors, Republican Policies, Republicans Humor, Sore Losers, White House, Youth Vote
Posted in Barack Obama, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »
Open Limerick To Angry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republicans rail round the clock:
“How on earth was Mitt beat by Barack?”
They have theories galore,
But they need just one more:
It’s the policies, stupid! Take stock!
Tags: Barack Obama, Election 2012, Election Satire, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Policy Humor, Presidential Election, Republican Policies, Republicans Humor, White House
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 8 Comments »
Stay classy, Tommy Thompson:
Former Gov. Tommy Thompson, a Wisconsin Republican running for Senate, recently suggested that his wife was to blame for his decision to end his career in public service and join a lobbying firm because she “likes to shop.”
Limerick Ode To Tommy Thompson
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In the cringe-worthy GOP crop
Thompson’s coarseness continues to pop.
He defends with a smirk
His lobbying work:
Needed money — “my wife likes to shop.”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminist Limerick, Lobbying, Tommy Thompson, Wisconsin
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wisconsin | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Tommy Thompson
Mitt Romney’s campaign co-chair John Sununu has a long history of making racist comments and being forced to (sort of) walk them back. His attributing Colin Powell’s endorsement of Obama to their both being black, is only Sununu’s latest race-baiting remark.
And yet Sununu (and others with a similar history) remain valued Romney surrogates. (Don’t kid yourself — there’s racism behind Donald Trump’s Birther garbage and his Obama college transcript crapola.)
So here’s a good question posed by John Presta: Isn’t it time for John Sununu, Mitt Romney’s racist surrogate, to step aside?
Romney Owns His Surrogates’ Racism (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s allies quite frequently base
Their attacks on Obama on race.
Of this fact, Mitt’s aware—
Seems he just doesn’t care.
Mitt’s campaign’s racist face — a disgrace!
Update: Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, Colin Powell’s chief of staff during his time as Secretary of State criticized the racism of his (Republican) party:
Let me just be candid: My party is full of racists. And the real reason a considerable portion of my party wants President Obama out of the White House has nothing to do with the content of his character, nothing to do with his competence as commander-in-chief and president, and everything to do with the color of his skin. And that’s despicable.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Colin Powell, Donald Trump, Election Satire, John Presta, John Sununu, Mitt Romney, Racism
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Racism Limerick, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
I try so hard to ignore publicity whores, like Donald Trump and Ann Coulter. And yet, their obnoxious antics make me look … and limerick.
Oh, why I can’t disregard stuff like this Coulter tweet:
…Coulter sent a Twitter message during the presidential debates Monday saying [she] approved of “(Mitt) Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard,” referring to Obama.
And while I’m at it, I’d love to tune out Donald Trump’s nonsensical “bombshell:”
Donald Trump said on Wednesday that if President Obama releases his college records and his passport application, the mega-millionaire developer will give a $5 million check to charities of Obama’s choosing.
Limerick Ode To Publicity Whores
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Trump and Coulter, two bores I abhor,
And I promise myself to ignore.
But alas, my resistance
Is down. Their persistence
In boorishness strikes at my core.
Tags: Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Publicity, Retard
Posted in Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Mitt Romney’s Final Debate Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear voters, I’m not into war.
I’m really a peacenik full-bore.
Scary things I once said
Are just in your head.
And teachers, I really adore!
*****
Update: Mitt Romney’s campaign reminds me of HBO’s True Blood: You have Romney, the Shape Shifter and Paul Ryan, the Vampire. And pushing Romney’s foreign policy buttons (except at the foreign policy debate) you even have Neo-Con Paul WereWolfowitz.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Education Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Mitt Romney, Teachers, War and Peace, War Mongers
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Mitt Romney’s Final Debate Message (Limerick)
I’m convinced that most so-called “undecided voters” are doing it for the attention. And that includes New York City’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who has declined to endorse either Obama or Romney for president. And who voices complaints about both of them to the New York Times.
Open Limerick To Michael Bloomberg
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mike, I have long been a fan,
But alas, you’re no longer my man:
Prez endorsement? You waffle,
Though Romney is awful.
Need attention? Find something to ban!
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Endorsements Humor, Michael Bloomberg, Mitt Romney, New York Times, Undecided Voters
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mike Bloomberg, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Obama’s coined a great new word for Romney’s “forgetfulness” regarding Mitt’s many conflicting positions: “Romnesia.”
Limerick Ode To “Romnesiac” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt’s confused — can’t recall his position
On the issues, a dreadful condition.
Either lying’s his game,
Or Romnesia’s to blame—
The result of unbridled ambition.
Tags: Ambition, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Romnesia
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
Shadowy Mitt Romney (With Apologies To Robert Louis Stevenson)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I have a little binder that is filled with clever gals,
But what can be the use of them — I’ll have to ask my pals.
They are very, very diff’rent. They are poor, and I am rich.
And I make them jump before me. They refuse, then they’re a bitch.
The funniest thing about them is the way they do their jobs.
Not at all like proper workers, such as Teds and Gregs and Bobs.
And they sometimes shoot up taller while they’re asking for a raise.
But to me they’re always little, barely worth my regal gaze.
They haven’t got a notion of how peons ought to work.
I can always make a fool of them — my second-fav’rite perk.
They long to stay beside me. But I wonder if they’re dykes.
Yet they shamefully leave early. They must feed their spouse and tykes.
One morning very early, before the sun was up
I rose and said, “You’re fired!” Why? They never made me sup.
Then I found another binder to replace those vacant spots:
A tome that’s filled with women — desp’rate feminine have-nots.
(Related Post: Limerick Ode To Lady-Filled Binders)
(Linked at DVerse Poets Pub)
Tags: Binders, Binders Full Of Women, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Employment, Gender Humor, Gender Inequality, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, My Shadow, Political Parody, Robert Louis Stevenson, Sexism, Workplace
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire | 11 Comments »
The oddest line of last night’s presidential debate has to be Mitt Romney’s “binders full of women.”
Romney used that phrase when responding to a question about gender inequality in the workplace: He claimed that he’d proactively solicited such binders in order to staff his cabinet with women.
“…we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet.
“I went to a number of women’s groups and said, ‘Can you help us find folks,’ and they brought us whole binders full of women.”
Even if Mitt’s claim were true, which apparently it isn’t, this begs the question: Was Romney the Massachusetts Governor … or running an escort service?
Limerick Ode To Lady-Filled Binders
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney goes through his life wearing blinders
And surrounded by yes-men and minders.
I suppose this explains
Why Romney’s campaign’s
So proud of his women-filled binders.
Tags: Binders, Binders Full Of Women, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Employment, Gender Humor, Gender Inequality, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Sexism, Workplace
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire, White House | 7 Comments »
The Presidential Debate at Hofstra University, in Hempstead, Long Island, New York, is coming up in just over three hours. I don’t know about the candidates, or Candy Crowley, the moderator, but I’m a nervous wreck.
(On a personal note, I spent many hundreds of hours playing the oboe at Hofstra’s concert hall, which once was home base to the Nassau Symphony Orchestra.)
Pre-Debate Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Which lies will Mitt tell us tonight,
While disguising the fact he’s far right?
Will the Prez call Mitt out
When he fibs in this bout?
He had better. The polls are damn tight.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Candy Crowley, Debate Limerick, Election Satire, Hofstra University, Mitt Romney, Nassau Symphony Orchestra
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
The aptly-initialed Paul Ryan pulled quite the PR stunt last week. Did you catch the video of Ryan’s uninvited Ohio soup kitchen visit, and watch him “scrub” an already clean pot?
The head of a northeast Ohio charity says that the Romney campaign last week “ramrodded their way” into the group’s Youngstown soup kitchen so that GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan could get his picture taken washing dishes in the dining hall.
“We’re a faith-based organization; we are apolitical because the majority of our funding is from private donations,” Antal said in a phone interview Monday afternoon. “It’s strictly in our bylaws not to do it. They showed up there, and they did not have permission. They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors.”
He added: “The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”
Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Paul Ryan expects us to cheer:
He’s a soup kitchen fake volunteer!
Watch him scrub a clean pot
In his sham, cooked up spot,
As he schemes to make OUR lives austere.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Charity Satire, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Ohio, Paul Ryan, Photo Ops, PR Stunts, Romney Campaign, Soup Kitchen
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Arguments about Social Security and Medicare aside, there’s good news for Senior Citizens in both the Biden/Ryan debate and the Obama/Romney debate: In each instance, the old guy won — Big Time!
Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debating Paul Ryan, Joe won.
Moreover, he won by a ton:
Tough and energized, quick,
Biden pierced Ryan’s schtick.
Prez Obama, now THAT’S how it’s done.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Joe Biden, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Senior Citizens, Seniors, Social Security
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 6 Comments »
Mitt Romney, who continues to lie about covering pre-existing conditions, seems to live in a fact-free universe. Here’s what he told the Columbus Dispatch yesterday:
We don’t have people that become ill, who die in their apartment because they don’t have insurance.
Well, if 26,100 deaths per year is the same as zero deaths, then Romney’s correct:
More than 26,000 working-age adults die prematurely in the United States each year because they lack health insurance, according to a study published ahead of a landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling on President Barack Obama’s healthcare reform law.
The study, released on Wednesday by the consumer advocacy group Families USA, estimates that a record high of 26,100 people aged 25 to 64 died for lack of health coverage in 2010, up from 20,350 in 2005 and 18,000 in 2000.
That makes for a rate of about 72 deaths per day, or three per hour.
The nonprofit group based its findings on data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and a 2002 Institute of Medicine study that showed the uninsured face a 25 percent higher risk of death than those with coverage.
Romney’s Fact-Free Universe Isn’t Healthy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney says nobody dies
For lack of insurance. He lies!
Three work-age adults
Die per hour — the results
Of no health plan. With Mitt that will rise.
*****
Political Haiku of the Day:
The debate’s on soon.
I’m sure hoping Joe Biden’s
less nervous than I.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Columbus Dispatch, Death, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Families USA, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney, Political Haiku & Senryu, Pre-Existing Conditions, Premature Death, Statistics, Studies
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Once Mitt Romney clinched the Republican presidential nomination, and Republicans were stuck with him, Mitt adopted a rather slick trick: When coverage is at its maximum (on TV, in front of large crowds, and in major newspaper interviews) he feigns moderate or centrist positions, only to have staffers take them back the next day.
Romney exploited that ploy during last week’s Obama v. Romney debate. And he did it again just yesterday, telling The Des Moines Register’s editorial board that “no abortion legislation is part of his agenda.”
Of course, Romney’s staff comforted his rightwing base the next day:
Spokeswoman Andrea Saul later walked back the comment telling the National Review that Romney “would of course support legislation aimed at providing greater protections for life.”
Rather clever (and sneaky) isn’t it? Maximize the audience for your just-pretend moderate views and minimize the audience for your genuine extremist positions.
Romney’s Political Hack Trick (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt’s slick and unusual tack
Proves the man’s a political hack.
He feigns moderate views
Where he’ll get the most news.
Then staff quietly walks it all back.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Andrea Saul, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Des Moines Register, Election Satire, Extremist Candidates, Iowa, Legislation Satire, Mitt Romney, National Review, Political Hacks, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
Mad Kane’s Political Madness is ©
Madeleine Begun Kane
Entries (RSS)
and Comments (RSS).
Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
Wednesday, October 10th, 2012Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.
C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.
E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.
G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.
I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.
K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.
M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.
O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.
Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.
S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.
U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.
W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.
Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.
(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)
Tags: Abortion Rights, Ballots, Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Global Warming, Homophobes, Immigration Humor, Journalists, Judiciary Satire, Justice John Roberts, Koch Brothers, Medicaid, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Regulations, Self-Deportation, Social Security, Supreme Court Humor, Tax Cuts, Unemployment, War, War On Voting, Wingnuts
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, Global Warming, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Medicare Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »