Posts Tagged ‘Election Satire’

Trump’s Poll Obsession (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 27th, 2024

In a call-in to Fox News, Trump argued with Martha MacCallum about the polls:

When Ms. MacCallum observed, accurately, that Ms. Harris was “having some success” with women, Hispanic and Black voters, Mr. Trump objected. “She’s not having success; I’m having success,” he said. “I’m doing great with the Hispanic voters, doing great with Black men, I’m doing great with women.”

“It’s only in your eyes that they have that, Martha,” he added. “We are doing very well.”

Hence, this limerick:

Trump obsessively follows each poll,
And bad numbers are taking their toll.
When he’s bested, he’s pissed.
I’m ahead, he’ll insist.
Don-OLD’s poll-envy’s out of control.

Relishing The Joy (Limerick)

Friday, August 23rd, 2024

(Written in a rare — for ME — moment of optimism)

I’m exceedingly happy to say
That the Dems are right now in array.
Will this last long enough
In a contest so tough?
All my money’s on YEA … and so YAY!

<== If Trump Could Write Limericks ==>

Friday, August 16th, 2024

During Thursday’s “just pretend” press conference, Trump used being called “weird” as a justification for personal attacks on Kamala Harris. Hence my “If Trump Could Write Limericks.”

Meanie Kamala says that I’m “weird.”
JD too, so we both have been smeared.
And that means I am free
To insult her with glee.
So here goes: Dougie Emhoff’s her BEARD!

Trump’s Scorned Advice (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

Donald’s allies keep warning the guy
That his insults and whining won’t fly:
She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?”
“AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?”
All false claims that most voters won’t buy!

Though he’s eager to once again reign,
Donald treats their advice with disdain.
To his old ways, he cleaves.
(He knows best, he believes.)
That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!

Donald’s Dilemma (Limerick)

Friday, August 9th, 2024

Trump’s new rival is chock-full of zest,
So old Donald’s morose and depressed.
With his poll numbers slidin’,
He misses Joe Biden.
(Time to fake a failed “bar exam” test?)

Cowardly Donald (Limerick)

Sunday, August 4th, 2024

I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:

“I am in litigation against ABC Network and George Slopadopoulos, thereby creating a conflict of interest.” What’s wrong with that excuse? Trump’s lawsuit is NOT a new development. Trump filed suit in MARCH and agreed to the ABC debate nearly two months later, in MAY.

To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male,
Who would never back down and/or bail.
Yet he’s scared to debate
Our great VEEP on the date
And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!

Phony Vance (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, August 2nd, 2024

JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible”
And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!)
But now Vance is debasing
Himself by embracing
The Donald, a move indefensible.

JD lives in a house made of glass,
Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class.
So he hurls his baloney
At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”)
Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.

More Trump Lies (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 31st, 2024

ABC News Headline: “Donald Trump says Kamala Harris, who’s married to a Jewish man, ‘doesn’t like Jewish people'”

Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP
“Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep
Knows full well Doug (her spouse)
Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse
And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!

Defeat Team “Weird!” (Limerick)

Sunday, July 28th, 2024

A creative critique of Trump/Vance
Is they’re “weird” which, while true at a glance,
Is the least of their sins.
We must ward off their wins!
If we don’t, freedom won’t stand a chance.

Just Deserts For Donald Trump (Limerick)

Saturday, July 27th, 2024

Donald Trump made an error he rues:
Using age as a way to abuse
And disparage Joe Biden.
Now folks are deridin’
Poor Don-OLD as old. Hence his blues!

Unity Rubbish (Limerick)

Saturday, July 20th, 2024

Please don’t fall for the GOP lies
About “unity.” Buyer be wise!
It does have a nice ring,
But their “unity” thing
Just applies to straight, white, Christian guys!

Random Limerick

Friday, July 5th, 2024

Our Supreme Court has messed with the law,

And political fears leave me raw.

So I got quite a fright

When the “Random Word” site

Elected to spew out “WITHDRAW.”

(This really happened, as you can see from the image below.)

GOPers Court Trump At Court (Limerick)

Thursday, May 16th, 2024

Washington Post Headline: “Republicans flock to court to ‘kiss the ring’ during Trump criminal trial”

GOPers are flocking to court
To kiss Donald’s rump and help thwart
New York’s efforts to try
Donald Trump. (He’s their guy!)
And to truth, law, and justice distort.

The Trials Of Trump (3-Verse Limerick)

Monday, April 22nd, 2024

It’s a challenge for Trump to comply
With societal rules. He’s a guy
Who has always felt free
To ignore them with glee;
To break laws and to flagrantly lie.

Trump’s accustomed to getting his way.
But in Criminal Court, he lacks sway.
It’s the Judge who has power,
So Don’s looking dour,
Forced to hold all his anger at bay.

Be quiet in court and sit down!
Trump’s compelled to comply (with a frown.)
For he fin’lly must face
His first criminal case:
It’s Judge Merchan who now wears the crown!

Trump’s “Pious” Supporters (Limerick)

Friday, March 29th, 2024

There’s no law fraudster Trump’s loath to flout!
And yet people who claim they’re devout,
Keep supporting the grifter,
That sleazy shape-shifter.
Surely Trump ain’t what “God” is about!

Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 24th, 2024

A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:

“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”

Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad.
I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad?
You di’n’t win by enough?
Oh, poor baby! That’s rough!
But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.

Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump

Saturday, January 20th, 2024

My latest limerick requires a bit of background info, for those who missed Trump’s latest cognitive quagmire: In New Hampshire this past week, Trump converted his Pelosi lie about January 6 security into a Nikki Haley lie.

And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)

Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:

Pelosi’s a female, it’s true.
So is Haley, and both oppose YOU.
Nonetheless, it’s unwise
To (while spinning your lies)
Confuse those two gals, as you spew.

Dear Donald (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 4th, 2023

Here’s a free tip for Trump: Spewing bile
Is best to avoid while on trial.
It may help you raise cash,
But it still remains rash.
My advice: Try pretending to smile.

Limerick Ode To Smart-Ass DeSantis

Thursday, May 25th, 2023

“DeSantis debacle: Twitter Spaces presidential announcement marred by technical problems.”

Smart-Ass Ron: Had you asked someone sane
About venues to launch your campaign,
(S)he’d have warned “Do Not Do
A Twitter Debut!”
(Sound advice you’d have viewed with disdain.)

Yet Another Trump Limerick

Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

Four more years of a man who’s our bane?
A man with a venomous brain?
What’s the crux of the matter?
Trump’s vile — a Mad Hatter!
The GOP’s choice is insane!