Headline: “Florida says it rejected math textbooks for referring to critical race theory”
Frenzied Florida’s CRT-craze
Is now targeting math books. This phase
Features conjured up claims
Of doctrinaire aims;
Textbooks banned in a bigoted blaze.
Posts Tagged ‘Education Humor’
Florida’s CRT Cops Strike Again (Limerick)
Sunday, April 17th, 2022Two “Critical Race Theory” Limericks
Saturday, June 19th, 2021“Hey teach, why the day off from school
On Juneteenth? A new holiday’s cool!
But what does it mean?”
“I can’t tell you, Eugene.
If I do, I’ll be sacked. That’s the rule.”
**************
There are many Republican fans
Of “Critical Race Theory” bans.
It’s been outlawed in Texas,
A lunatic nexus…
Filled with folks who hate blacks, gays, and trans.
Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 27th, 2018The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.
Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)
Monday, February 26th, 2018This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”
Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!
Open Limerick To NRA TOOLS
Thursday, February 22nd, 2018Dear NRA lovers and tools:
“Armed teachers protecting our schools?”
This insults the police
Who FULL-TIME keep the peace.
Sniper skills ain’t a hobby, you fools!
Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
Tuesday, October 6th, 2015Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Planned ignorance, such is the scheme
That conservatives love — what a dream:
Withhold info that’s needed
And ought to be heeded.
That’s the key to get wins for their team.
Whitewashing textbooks and refusing to allow the CDC to study gun violence are but two examples.
Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2015For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.
Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.
Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma (Updated)
Monday, March 2nd, 2015Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma
A new Public Opinion Polling survey finds that 62% of voters think it’s important for the President to have a high school diploma, compared to only 31% who think it doesn’t matter.
Interesting: “There’s a large partisan divide on the issue: Democrats by an 81%-14% spread think it’s important, while Republicans are evenly divided on the matter at 45%-45%.”
When asked to respond to this poll, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said, “Only elitists and ISIS supporters would buy into that requirement, whereas Senator Rand Paul said, “Have I mentioned that I’m a doctor?”
Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, a fellow presidential hopeful, disagreed with both men, saying “Don’t glasses make me look smart?”
*****
UPDATE: I was chagrined to learn that my column has fallen afoul of Poe’s Law. What the heck is Poe’s Law? The “literary adage which stipulates that without a clear indicator of an author’s intended sarcasm it becomes impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”
So for anyone who read this and accepted the poll as real and/or any of the quotes as real, this is hundred percent parody. It was inspired by an actual poll related to whether people believe a U.S. President should have a college degree.
UPDATE 2:
Poe’s Law compressed into a haiku:
In extremist times
reality/parody
appear to have merged.
Limerick Ode To Bossy Sheryl Sandberg
Monday, March 10th, 2014Purported feminist Sheryl Sandberg was apparently so traumatized by being called “bossy” as a girl, that she wants that epithet banned. She claims it impedes the will to become a leader.
So publicity hound “feminist” advocate Sandberg, having moved on from her “lean in” tripe, “is launching a public service campaign aimed at getting rid of the word ‘bossy.'” Hey, priorities are priorities.
Here’s Facebook COO Sandberg discussing her project to outlaw what she calls “the other B-word:”
This is a very negative experience for girls, if you look at my childhood, if you look at the childhood of most of the leaders we talked to, they lived through being told they were bossy,” Sandberg said. “And it has such a strongly female, and such a strongly negative connotation, that we thought the best way to raise awareness was to say, “This isn’t a word we should use. Let’s start encouraging girls to lead.”
Now, that’s some fascinating logic: Female leaders were so traumatized by being called “bossy” when they were young, that they were discouraged from leading. And so they became … leaders?!?
Hmmmm… Instead of banning the word “bossy” as applied to girls, perhaps we should make it compulsory.
Limerick Ode To Bossy Sheryl Sandberg
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sheryl Sandberg has made a demand
That the adjective “bossy” be banned.
Here’s the thrust of her screed:
Girls called “bossy” won’t lead.
Ain’t simplistic analysis grand?
Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
Monday, July 8th, 2013The Kansas legislature, in its great wisdom, recently passed a law allowing gun owners to carry weapons in public buildings. And surprise, surprise, insurance companies think this is dangerous.
The EMC Insurance Cos. insures 85 percent to 90 percent of all Kansas school districts and has refused to renew coverage for schools that permit teachers and custodians to carry concealed firearms on their campuses under the new law, which took effect July 1. It’s not a political decision, but a financial one based on the riskier climate it estimates would be created, the insurer said.
Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In municipal spots, like a school,
Concealed weapons in Kansas are cool.
But the pols that decreed this
May soon have to heed this:
They’ve entered a sky-high risk pool.
“You are too great a risk,” said the co
That insured Kansas schools. What a blow!
“We do NOT mean to screw you,
But just can’t renew you.
It’s financial — a matter of dough.”
Forrest Knox, who’s an NRA shill
And the fellow who sponsored the bill
That started this mess,
Says insurers should bless
Teachers toting their weapons at will.
“This will make us all safer,” he swears.
“What do carriers know about scares,
And dangers and risk
And hazards. Tsk-Tsk!
I know better than they!” he declares.
What’s next? It remains to be seen.
At the least, it will take far more green
To insure any school
Where an NRA tool
Hides a gun in her purse or his jean.
Education — Schmeducation (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012Did you know that higher education is snobbish and elitist? And that it causes liberal indoctrination? That’s the message we’ve been getting lately from Republicans like Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. They each have a trio of college degrees … but hey, who’s counting? In fact, why even bother learning to count?
Yes, indeed, there’s a Republican war on college education:
First came Mitt Romney’s dismissive remarks about President Obama’s “faculty lounge” pals. Now Rick Santorum is calling Obama snobby for urging people to go to college – and defending that view in a series of TV appearances.
Education — Schmeducation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Don’t bother your miniscule head
With college — don’t need higher ed.”
That’s the Rick and Mitt screed,
Though they’re multi-degreed.
Informed-voters — yes, that’s what they dread.
We Don’t Want Newt-Education (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011Newt Gingrich is threatening … I mean, promising, to teach a free online course if he becomes president. But Kennesaw State College students still haven’t recovered from his fact-challenged 1990s course “Renewing American Civilization.”
We Don’t Want Newt-Education (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The “history prof” known as Newt
Taught a course that was really a beaut:
Filled with “facts” that are fiction,
Misleading depiction
Of life from an overstuffed suit.
Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice
Thursday, May 13th, 2010As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law:
Assuming President Obama wins confirmation of Solicitor General Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, that august body will be exclusively filled with judges who earned their law degrees at Harvard or Yale.
Strauss thinks such exclusivity is a bad idea and, as you can tell from this limerick, so do I:
Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Supremes have to hail
From the law schools of Harvard or Yale.
My law school’s St. John’s.
That’s just one of my “cons.”
Plus I’m sixty — I might as well bail.
