The great Post has been sullied by fear.
Give that cowardly Bezos a jeer!
WaPo planned to endorse
VP Harris, of course.
But Jeff quashed it and kissed Donald’s rear.
Posts Tagged ‘Donald Trump’
Non-Endorsement Turmoil (Limerick)
Sunday, October 27th, 2024Trump’s BS Bibles (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 9th, 2024The Donald faults China and trade.
“Huge tariffs,” he cries, “must be paid.”
“They steal jobs from our nation,”
He rants to ovation.
But THAT’s where Trump’s Bibles are made.
No, I am NOT making this up. Here’s a quote from CBS News:
“Thousands of Donald Trump’s “God Bless the USA” Bibles — sold for $59.99 each — were printed in a country that the former president has frequently accused of engaging in unfair trade practices and stealing American jobs: China.”
Our Supreme Problem (3-Verse Limerick)
Tuesday, October 8th, 2024My latest 3-verse limerick was inspired by a CNN article that included this paragraph: “Roberts was shaken by the adverse public reaction to his decision affording Trump substantial immunity from criminal prosecution. His protestations that the case concerned the presidency, not Trump, held little currency.”
Poor John Roberts is in a deep funk;
His beloved court’s stature has shrunk.
And it’s largely his fault
For harsh rulings that halt
Basic rights. He’s a punk and a skunk.About justice his court doesn’t care.
There’s no effort to ever be fair.
It treats stare decisis
Like trash. We’ve a crisis;
Sound rulings are brutally rare!So if Roberts is sad, fine by me!
For the court must be changed. You agree?
Then be sure to vote Dem.
No more hawing. Don’t hem!
It’s the one way to stem the debris.
Limerick Ode to Donald “Protector of Women” Trump
Saturday, September 28th, 2024Washington Post Headline: “Trump in Pa.: Digressions, threats and vows to be ‘protector’ of women”
The “Protector of Women” — that’s me,
Proclaims Trump. Just elect me; you’ll see.
Yes, the man who destroyed
Roe v. Wade seems annoyed
That we long to be Donald Trump-free.How absurd that a sexual abuser,
One who often defames his accuser,
Now audaciously claims
He’ll protect all the dames
If he wins. Let’s make sure he’s the LOSER!
Trump & Vance v. The Haitians (3-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, September 21st, 2024“In Ohio, they’re eating the cats!
They are eating the pets,” yell the rats,
Known as Donald and Vance,
Harming Haitians with rants;
Racist lies told by cads in red hats.When informed it’s not true, they both sneer
And continue repeating their smear,
Cuz they really don’t care
If there’s pet-eating there.
Told to cease and desist, they just jeer.“You’re endangering innocent folk,”
They’re advised, but to Trump that’s a joke;
Donald’s fans gets their highs
From enjoying Trump’s lies.
Give up lying? No, THAT would be “WOKE!”
“Prizefighter” Trump Claims Kamala Harris Lost The Fight (Limerick)
Sunday, September 15th, 2024Trump’s pretending he won the debate,
Citing polls (non-existent) that rate
Him the winner by lots.
(Were they written by bots?)
Dotty Don can’t face up to his fate.
Open Limerick To Kamala Harris
Thursday, September 12th, 2024Dear Veep Harris, I thank you for winning
And demolishing Trump. I’m still grinning!
On the eve of my birthday,
You gave me a mirth day…
Watching bait-taking Trump lose each inning.
JD Vance’s Childcare Plan (Limerick)
Sunday, September 8th, 2024Headline: “JD Vance’s plan to lower childcare costs: have grandma and grandpa ‘help a little bit more'”
JD Vance has a fabulous plan
To reduce childcare costs. What a man!
It’s not tax breaks or grants:
Just cry “Help!” to the aunts,
Uncles, granddads, and each weary gran.
The Media’s Mistake (Limerick)
Saturday, September 7th, 2024This New Republic column inspired my latest limerick: “How the Media Sanitizes Trump’s Insanity”
Dear Political Press, please take note:
Stop reframing Trump’s rants; use a quote!
No more rend’ring coherent
His spewings aberrant;
Cease helping him skew how folks vote!
Trump’s “Genius” Speeches (3-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, September 5th, 2024So…, you know all those oddball rally rants about wind and bacon, sharks and electrocution, “Alphonse” Capone, and the “late, great Hannibal Lecter?” According to Trump, he’s doing the “weave,” which makes him an oratorical genius:
Trump’s meandering salad linguistic
Is (to Donald) a “weave” — his euphuistic,
Novel term for confusing
And logic-abusing
Addresses. (Turns out they’re artistic!)Trump’s digressions, he says, all make sense;
They are woven with brilliance intense.
He defies expectations
With dazzling orations.
Seems the Donald’s a “genius” immense.So the next time you hear Donald speak,
Do not call him off-script or oblique.
With his language command,
He’s the best in the land;
A true maestro of flapping his beak.
Trump’s Poll Obsession (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 27th, 2024In a call-in to Fox News, Trump argued with Martha MacCallum about the polls:
When Ms. MacCallum observed, accurately, that Ms. Harris was “having some success” with women, Hispanic and Black voters, Mr. Trump objected. “She’s not having success; I’m having success,” he said. “I’m doing great with the Hispanic voters, doing great with Black men, I’m doing great with women.”
“It’s only in your eyes that they have that, Martha,” he added. “We are doing very well.”
Hence, this limerick:
Trump obsessively follows each poll,
And bad numbers are taking their toll.
When he’s bested, he’s pissed.
I’m ahead, he’ll insist.
Don-OLD’s poll-envy’s out of control.
Trump’s Woman-Problem (Limerick)
Saturday, August 24th, 2024NY Times Headline: “On Truth Social, Donald Trump Tries to Refashion Himself as Supportive of Abortion Rights”
As his poll numbers fade, Trump’s dismayed,
So the felon who wrecked Roe v. Wade,
Now is feigning support
For the right to abort.
Too late Don-OLD! By CHOICERS you’re NAYED!
Relishing The Joy (Limerick)
Friday, August 23rd, 2024(Written in a rare — for ME — moment of optimism)
I’m exceedingly happy to say
That the Dems are right now in array.
Will this last long enough
In a contest so tough?
All my money’s on YEA … and so YAY!
<== If Trump Could Write Limericks ==>
Friday, August 16th, 2024During Thursday’s “just pretend” press conference, Trump used being called “weird” as a justification for personal attacks on Kamala Harris. Hence my “If Trump Could Write Limericks.”
Meanie Kamala says that I’m “weird.”
JD too, so we both have been smeared.
And that means I am free
To insult her with glee.
So here goes: Dougie Emhoff’s her BEARD!
Donald’s Dilemma (Limerick)
Friday, August 9th, 2024Trump’s new rival is chock-full of zest,
So old Donald’s morose and depressed.
With his poll numbers slidin’,
He misses Joe Biden.
(Time to fake a failed “bar exam” test?)
Cowardly Donald (Limerick)
Sunday, August 4th, 2024I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:
“I am in litigation against ABC Network and George Slopadopoulos, thereby creating a conflict of interest.” What’s wrong with that excuse? Trump’s lawsuit is NOT a new development. Trump filed suit in MARCH and agreed to the ABC debate nearly two months later, in MAY.
To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male,
Who would never back down and/or bail.
Yet he’s scared to debate
Our great VEEP on the date
And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!
Phony Vance (2-Verse Limerick)
Friday, August 2nd, 2024JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible”
And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!)
But now Vance is debasing
Himself by embracing
The Donald, a move indefensible.JD lives in a house made of glass,
Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class.
So he hurls his baloney
At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”)
Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.
More Trump Lies (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 31st, 2024ABC News Headline: “Donald Trump says Kamala Harris, who’s married to a Jewish man, ‘doesn’t like Jewish people'”
Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP
“Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep
Knows full well Doug (her spouse)
Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse
And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!
Trump’s Scorned Advice (2-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, August 14th, 2024Donald’s allies keep warning the guy
That his insults and whining won’t fly:
She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?”
“AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?”
All false claims that most voters won’t buy!
Though he’s eager to once again reign,
Donald treats their advice with disdain.
To his old ways, he cleaves.
(He knows best, he believes.)
That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Kamala Harris, Republicans Humor, Trump
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